Friendly Neighbourhood Vote Wrangler wrote:
The time has come to announce the winners of the November 2005 Usenet Kook
Awards.
*ahem*
KOOK OF THE MONTH
The winner is... VITO KUHN!
Vito Kuhn . . . . . . 23
Warhol . . . . . . . 13
none of the above . . 7
John Weatherly . . . 4
Congratulations, Frito! How many users does your new censored server have
so far? Not counting the Holy Trinity, I mean.
Ooooh, only four votes for Weather-free! Ack!
CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
The winner is... TOM BISHOP!
Tom Bishop, alias A. Jinn . . . . 17
Dustin Cook . . . . . . . . . . . 9
none of the above . . . . . . . . 9
Jason Plawner, alias jjayboyd . . 6
John Weatherly . . . . . . . . . 5
Congratulations, Tommy! Tell us again how you think DNS works.
GOLDEN KILLFILE
THe winner is... DISQUALIFIED!
Fly Cooter . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20 [DQ]
babaloo too, alias ohbrutha20005 . . 11
none of the above . . . . . . . . . 10
Scott Lifshine, alias wereo_gogg . . 9
You can't win this one twice, Orville/Poofter, but at least you know now
that even your most elaborately knitted socks aren't worth reading. (There
will be a fresh ballot for this award soon.)
Can I get a "*****, BowTie!!!"?
VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN "WEIRD SCIENCE" AWARD
The winner is... WARHOL!
Warhol . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
neither of the above . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
Max Varazslo, alias Dr. Thurgood Tucker . . . . . 9
Congratulations, Warthog! Were those mediaeval Moorish computers built by
al-Catroll Labs?
C'mon, Bill, get Max posting here...!
BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
The winner is... VITO KUHN!
Vito Kuhn . . . . . . . . . . 19
alt.astronomy saucerheads . . 16
neither of the above . . . . 8
Congratulations, Kuhntroll freak! How can even you still believe that
anybody agrees with your stupid censorship plans?
Sheer orneriness?
PALMJOB PADDLE
The winner is... PAMELA RUSSELL!
Pamela K Russell . . . . 30
Dustin Cook . . . . . . 10
neither of the above . . 4
Congratulations, sPammy!
GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
The winner is... TOM BISHOP!
Tom Bishop, alias A. Jinn . . 22
John Lucas . . . . . . . . . 17
neither of the above . . . . 6
Congratulations, Tommy! Have you "busted" any "fag-bois" recently?
COWARD OF THE MONTH
The winner is... TOM BISHOP!
Tom Bishop, alias A. Jinn . . 16
Alan Jones . . . . . . . . . 12
David Tholen . . . . . . . . 11
Dustin Cook . . . . . . . . . 4
none of the above . . . . . . 3
Herbert Glazier . . . . . . . 2
Congratulations, Tosser! When was the last time you were brave enough to
answer a question?
JOSEPH BARTLO "PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE" AWARD
The winner is... PAMELA RUSSELL!
Pamela K Russell . . . . . . . . 18
Professeur von TwoSteps . . . . . 15
Dustin Cook . . . . . . . . . . . 6
Jason Plawner, alias jjayboyd . . 4
none of the above . . . . . . . . 3
Congratulations, sPamela! Is this further pr00f that everybody on Usenet
is a racist?
TONY SIDAWAY MEMORIAL "DRAMA QUEEN" AWARD
The winner is... PAMELA RUSSELL!
Pamela K Russell . . . . . 21
Andrew Walcott Beckwith . . 19
neither of the above . . . 6
Congratulations, sPammy! How many high C's will you be shrieking in your
next rant?
BUSTED URINAL AWARD
The winner is... WARHOL!
Warhol . . . . . . . . . 27
Rob Wade . . . . . . . . 9
neither of the above . . 9
Congratulations, Warthole!
Better luck next month, Wade...
UNABOMBER SURPRISE
The winner is... CATHERINE BURR!
Catherine Burr . . . . . . 15
none of the above . . . . 11
Dolf Boek, alias Qolon . . 8
Dennis E Strausser . . . . 4
Congratulations, Christmas Cake! It seems particularly fitting that you
were helped to win this award by the screed you posted to "prove" you
shouldn't win it.
BOLO BULLIS FOAM DUCK
The winner is... TOM BISHOP!
Tom Bishop, alias A. Jinn . . 23
Alan Jones . . . . . . . . . 12
neither of the above . . . . 6
Congratulations, Tosser!
TAR & FEATHERS
The winner is... VITO KUHN!
Vito Kuhn . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
Matthew Moulton, alias Onideus Mad Hatter . . 16
neither of the above . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Congratulations, Frito!
72 RAISINS "CRACKPOT RELIGION" AWARD
The winners are... ALT.RELIGION.ASATRU!
alt.religion.asatru
Yes . . 33
No . . 7
Cjongratuljations, Vjikings!
EDMOND WOLLMANN MEMORIAL RUBBER TURKEY
The winner is... TOM BISHOP!
Tom Bishop, alias A. Jinn
Yes . . 34
No . . 2
Congratulations, Tommy! It's fortunate that there are Usenet posters from
outside the USA, or you'd have had nobody to talk to at all at
Thanksgiving.
BARBARA WOODHOUSE MEMORIAL DOG WHISTLE
The winners are... TOM BISHOP and his trainer MICHAEL COOK!
Tom Bishop, trained by Michael Cook . . . 21
Jason Plawner, trained by Pinku-Sensei . . 10
neither of the above . . . . . . . . . . . 6
Congratulations, Tosser and God! I hope nobody thinks a divine being has
an unfair advantage in forcing obedience from his pets.
OFFICE OF DARTH BAWL
The winner is... FREESPEECHSTORE!
Richard Scoville, alias FreeSpeechStore . . 27
Anthony Banovic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Fly Cooter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Jason Plawner, alias jjayboyd . . . . . . . 4
Congratulations, Sco-vile! Do you hate these free elections as much as you
hate free speech?
Worse, I think!
OFFICE OF VILLAGE IDIOT
The winner is... TOM BISHOP!
Tom Bishop, alias A. Jinn . . 16
Chuck Lysaght . . . . . . . . 13
Bradley L Jesness . . . . . . 12
Congratulations, Tosser! Even your colleague and mentor in stupidity,
chuckles, didn't win six awards and an office in a single month.
SAEED AL-SAHHAF MEMORIAL OFFICE OF KOOKI INFORMATION MINISTER
The winner is... ALEXA CAMERON!
Alexa Cameron . . . . 17
Bradley L Jesness . . 13
Dustin Cook . . . . . 8
John Shocked . . . . 4
Hi Alexa, and congratulations!
Sadly, poor Johnny appears to have been spanked right off usenet. Things
are slower in alt.battlestar-galactica, these days...
MINISTRY OF CIRCLE JERKS
The winners are... the MICHAEL JACKSON FANS!
Michael Jackson fans of AMM-J . . . . . . . . . 21
Fly Cooter & Richard M Scoville . . . . . . . . 16
Ben Cramer, Don Ocean, Heinrich & The Re'ev . . 8
Congratulations, F'loons!
Bad show by the nazicoward KKKrew, though -- try harder!
This concludes the results of the November ballot. 60 ballot papers were
received, of which 55 were deemed to be valid. The fun will continue
before long with the ballot for the AUK Christmas Awards.
Comiiiiiing UP!
--
____________________________________________________________________________
Hail Eris!
Not Richard Scoville
Richard M. Scoville is explicitly denied the right to archive any of my
posts, under any of my nyms, on his site, FreeSpeechStore.com
http://tinyurl.com/c222n
.
