Pontius Pilate Summons Supply-Side Jesus (S.S. Jesus):
Pontius: Bring me this King of the Jews that I might meet him ... This
Supply Side Jesus.
S.S. Jesus arrives.
Pontius: What a magnificent robe you have!
S.S. Jesus: Becasue of this robe, ten craftsmen were abel to feed their
families. The goldsmith who made the trim and the filigreee was able to hire
an apprentice because I paid him so handsomely!
Pontius: What a beautiful haircut you have, S.S. Jesus!
S.S. Jesus: The barber who gave me this haircut was able to hire a
manicurist. She had been a prostitute, but because I needed a pedicure, she
is now able to fulfill her true potential.
Pontius: Yes, the cuticles are absolutely perfect! There are those in
Jerusalem who are not happy with your radical new teachings, S.S. Jesus.
Watch yourself.
Jesus goes back on the streets.
Apostle Thomas: Shouldn't we feed the lepers, supply side Jesus?
S.S. Jesus: No, Thomas. That would just make them lazy.
Apostle James: Then shouldn't you at least heal them, S.S. Jesus?
S.S. Jesus: No, James, Leprosy is a matter of personal responsibility. If
people knew I was healing lepers, there would be no incentive to avoid
leprosy.
Apostly Peter: S.S. Jesus, I think I've got a great line for your sermon on
the mount, "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle
than for a rich man to enter heaven."
S.S. Jesus: For shame, Peter, that's class warfare. But that does give me an
idea.
Continued . . .
-- From "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them" by Al Franken
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