Blatantly stolen from another newsgroup......

*****

From: www.fuckchristmas.org


Oh man, ***** Christmas.

Seriously - are you kidding me with this "There's a war on Christmas"
*****? FOX News wasn't raking in enough cash already from all the
Christmas commercials for Kill 'em All Barbie and Girls Gone Wild Brand
Toddler Gear? They had to start publishing books about some bogus attack
on
Christianity? And who did they pick to lead this particular charge?

John fucking Gibson. This guy has wiener written all over him.

Bill O'Reilly gets all the credit as the biggest nutcase in FOXville, but
Gibson really deserves his own special wing in the happy house. This
*****'s embedded assignment reads "Up Karl Rove's *****."

What makes him such a *****? I mean, besides making a fortune by screaming
hysterically about how oppressed Christians are by the other twenty
percent?
How about advocating bombing countries that don't vote the way we want in
their own elections? Way to encourage democracy, fuckhead. And maybe he
was
kidding when he wished, on air, that the French had gotten the 2012
Olympics
instead of the Brits so the terrorists would "blow up Paris," but it might
have been just a touch over the top to call for it again on the day of the
London train bombings. Classy move, *****.

And really? That's just scratching the fucking surface. Anyone remember
who
was responsible for the bombing of the Federal building in Oklahoma City?
John does: Iraq. And speaking of Iraq, Gibson thinks Rove deserves a
fucking
medal for outing that CIA agent. And, like any good reporter, he wanted to
burn the Florida ballots after his buddy Bush got "elected" rather than, I
don't know, count them? "Is this a case where knowing the facts actually
would be worse than not knowing?" That right there is why sometimes it's
useful for journalists to go to, what do you call that fucking place? Oh
yeah, journalism school.

And now he's all worked up about Christmas being stolen. What is this, the
fucking Fairytale Network? It's a national fucking holiday and we're
spending gobs of our hard-earned tax dollars on wreaths and lights for
your
special Santa day. But these bastards are all "But they call them Holiday
trees!" Here's a clue: no, they fucking don't. Ok, maybe in a couple
places,
like on FOXNews.com and at the White House, but if Christmas is under
attack, I'm Kris fucking Kringle.

And guess who's stealing Christmas, according to Gibson. Go on - guess. "A
cabal of secularists, so-called humanists, trial lawyers, cultural
relativists, and liberal, guilt-wracked Christians - not just Jewish
people." (Emphasis mine. Pure, unadulterated anti-semitism, his.) A cabal?
Are you fucking kidding me? Could we try to be a little more fucking
original with our Jew-hating?

Speaking of Jew-hating, Pat Buchanan has joined the hype-a-thon of the
supposed Attack on Christmas, too. Or, as he put it, "What we're
witnessing
here are hate crimes against Christianity." Sorry? We're not so hot on
paying for an inflatable camel for your ***** nativity scene and
suddenly
we're Slobodan fucking Milosevic? ***** you. Get some ***** perspective,
you little *****. When they start hunting Christians in the streets, it'll
be time to start yelling "Hate crime." And no, it won't count when they
start chasing you with the torches. That'll be called "The Most Wonderful
Time of the Year."

And Bill O'Reilly, Gibson's cellmate in the silly shack, is doing his part
to save Christmas, too. He's been going after New York's Mayor Bloomberg
(that Commie) because he says the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center has
been renamed a "Holiday Tree," and "No Christian Christmas symbols are
allowed in the public schools." The only problem? Neither of those things
is
even remotely fucking true.

It takes some super-sized balls for O'Reilly to get all lathered up about
sinners and their fictional anti-Christian crusade. Every fucking person
on
the planet has hard and fast evidence that Bill is a world-class pervert,
but still he feels totally justified lecturing the rest of us on our moral
inferiority.

How fucked up is Bill O'Reilly? Pretty fucked up. Everyone got so
crazyfaced
about him confusing a sponge and a Middle Eastern snackcake (pretty
fucking
funny, mind you), that they missed the scary bit: what he meant to say.
Old
Bill wanted to get all funky on his intern like this: (you'll excuse my
foul
language, I'm quoting an award-winning newscaster here) "I'd take the
other
hand with the [loofah] thing and put it on your *****."

loofah (lu'f?) noun. A natural exfoliating sponge.

exfoliate (eks-fo'le-at') verb. To remove (a layer of bark or skin, for
example) in flakes or scales; peel.

That's right. Bill O'Rielly, fount of morals, is super familiar with the
female anatomy. So much so, that he knows how good it feels to have one's
***** exfoliated. We're talking h - o - t, Hot. That's exactly who I'm
going
to for my life lessons.

Sorry, where were we? Oh yeah, ***** Christmas.

Can we back up just a couple steps here? At what point did a basic
understanding of the separation of church and state become a fucking war
on
religion? And how did we get to the point where you can call an
organization
set up to defend our civil liberties "Terrorists" on national television
and
no one fires your *****? Enough. ***** all of you lying little shitheads who
wish the world was out to get you so you could play the poor oppressed
victims. Wake up assholes - you're the cowboys, not the fucking Indians.

"But we want to display our Christmas tree on city property!" You can, go
right ahead. "They're stopping us from praying in school!" They're not, so
*****. "We're not allowed to say 'Merry Christmas' anymore!" Are you
fucking kidding me? Knock yourself out. Say it at work, scream it in your
high school lunch room, hell, tattoo it on your fucking forehead for all
we
care. Guess who's gonna be there defending your right to do every one of
those things? The fucking ACLU. One of these days you bastards are going
to
drive those fuckers out of business, and then you'll see some actual
attacks
on your religious liberties. I thought conservatives were supposed to be
all
proud and independent? When did they turn into a bunch of fucking
crybabies?

Let's back up even fucking further, shall we? Can anyone tell me how old
Christmas is? Anyone? Two thousand years, give or take, right? Gee, who's
been reading their No Child Left Behind History Textbooks? Try fucking
four
thousand years. Huh. Twice as fucking long as your little baby king has
been
around. How could that possibly be, unless. . . waitaminute. . .

Christmas isn't fucking Christian. Ok, now we're talking.

That's right, that Yuletide cheer you're spreading? What exactly do you
think Yule is? It's the fucking Pagan celebration of solstice. And those
"Christmas" traditions? They're not just like Pagan rituals, they fucking
are Pagan rituals. Way before your Jesus got all magical with the bread
and
fishes, the Romans were celebrating the birth of Mithra on . . . guess? Go
on - guess. December fucking twenty fifth. What a weird coincidence.
Practically the whole thing is ripped off from the fucking Druids and the
Romans. Twelve days? Check. Exchanging gifts? Check. Mistletoe? Check. And
you'd better fucking believe that those decorated trees that Gibson and
Co.
are so bent out of shape over are as Pagan as the Rune and Crystal Shack
at
Pentagramfest 2005. You might as well be building miniature fucking
Stonehenges in your den.

And don't you read your own ***** Bibles? Jesus was born when? In the
middle of winter? Lot of Shepherds out watching their flocks around that
time of year in Bethlehem? No, because they'd be freezing their fucking
asses off. Tell you what - y'all go figure out which one of the different
Bible stories about the birth of Baby JesusŪ you want to believe, and then
we'll argue about whether it fucking happened like that or not.

Christians just stole a bunch of traditions from other cultures, slapped
them together, stuck a fucking tinfoil star on top and called it the Most
Important Holiday of the Year. Modern American Christmas makes Michael
Jackson look positively organic.

But you boys at FOX still freak out every year about how everyone's out to
get your special trees. This is really the most important thing you have
to
talk about? Whether Target says Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas? Here's
a
brainstorm: there's a fucking war on. Our soldiers are out there dying
while
you guys do your 14th live feed of the day from WalMart to show us what
good
little consumers we are. What Would Jesus Do? He'd jump over that newsdesk
and kick your ***** for that *****. Are you sure you want to hang your
journalism credentials on a story about what some guy calls a tree?

Well we've fucking had it. You want to play ***** games and scream
about
how God's fucking judgment is gonna come raining down on us if we don't
start watching our vocabulary? Go right the ***** ahead. But let me clue
you
in on something: fire and brimstone ain't no deterrent for us. We're not
going to hell, assholes, we're fucking in hell. We live with you.

And ***** Easter too, you fertility-rite-celebrating, whiny,
self-righteous,
don't-know-the- history-of-your-own-religion assholes. *****.
***



--
Aloha, G-Ride

"I love songs about horses, railroads, land, judgement day, family, hard
times, whiskey, courtship, marriage, adultery, separation, murder, war,
prison, rambling, damnation, home, salvation, death, pride, humor, piety,
rebellion, patriotism, larceny, determination, tragedy, rowdiness,
heartbreak and love. And Mother. And God. 'Rusty Cage' must fit in some of
these categories." - J. Cash

Blatantly stolen from another newsgroup......


*****

From: www.fuckchristmas.org


Oh man, ***** Christmas.

Seriously - are you kidding me with this "There's a war on Christmas"
*****? FOX News wasn't raking in enough cash already from all the
Christmas commercials for Kill 'em All Barbie and Girls Gone Wild Brand
Toddler Gear? They had to start publishing books about some bogus attack =

Christianity? And who did they pick to lead this particular charge?

John fucking Gibson. This guy has wiener written all over him.

Bill O'Reilly gets all the credit as the biggest nutcase in FOXville, but
Gibson really deserves his own special wing in the happy house. This
*****'s embedded assignment reads "Up Karl Rove's *****."

What makes him such a *****? I mean, besides making a fortune by screaming
hysterically about how oppressed Christians are by the other twenty perce=

How about advocating bombing countries that don't vote the way we want in
their own elections? Way to encourage democracy, fuckhead. And maybe he w=

kidding when he wished, on air, that the French had gotten the 2012 Olymp=

instead of the Brits so the terrorists would "blow up Paris," but it might
have been just a touch over the top to call for it again on the day of the
London train bombings. Classy move, *****.

And really? That's just scratching the fucking surface. Anyone remember w=

was responsible for the bombing of the Federal building in Oklahoma City?
John does: Iraq. And speaking of Iraq, Gibson thinks Rove deserves a *****=

medal for outing that CIA agent. And, like any good reporter, he wanted to
burn the Florida ballots after his buddy Bush got "elected" rather than, I
don't know, count them? "Is this a case where knowing the facts actually
would be worse than not knowing?" That right there is why sometimes it's
useful for journalists to go to, what do you call that fucking place? Oh
yeah, journalism school.

And now he's all worked up about Christmas being stolen. What is this, the
fucking Fairytale Network? It's a national fucking holiday and we're
spending gobs of our hard-earned tax dollars on wreaths and lights for yo=

special Santa day. But these bastards are all "But they call them Holiday
trees!" Here's a clue: no, they fucking don't. Ok, maybe in a couple plac=

like on FOXNews.com and at the White House, but if Christmas is under
attack, I'm Kris fucking Kringle.

And guess who's stealing Christmas, according to Gibson. Go on - guess. "A
cabal of secularists, so-called humanists, trial lawyers, cultural
relativists, and liberal, guilt-wracked Christians - not just Jewish
people." (Emphasis mine. Pure, unadulterated anti-semitism, his.) A caba=

Are you fucking kidding me? Could we try to be a little more fucking
original with our Jew-hating?

Speaking of Jew-hating, Pat Buchanan has joined the hype-a-thon of the
supposed Attack on Christmas, too. Or, as he put it, "What we're witnessi=

here are hate crimes against Christianity." Sorry? We're not so hot on
paying for an inflatable camel for your ***** nativity scene and sudden=

we're Slobodan fucking Milosevic? ***** you. Get some ***** perspective,
you little *****. When they start hunting Christians in the streets, it'll
be time to start yelling "Hate crime." And no, it won't count when they
start chasing you with the torches. That'll be called "The Most Wonderful
Time of the Year."

And Bill O'Reilly, Gibson's cellmate in the silly shack, is doing his part
to save Christmas, too. He's been going after New York's Mayor Bloomberg
(that Commie) because he says the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center has
been renamed a "Holiday Tree," and "No Christian Christmas symbols are
allowed in the public schools." The only problem? Neither of those things=

even remotely fucking true.

It takes some super-sized balls for O'Reilly to get all lathered up about
sinners and their fictional anti-Christian crusade. Every fucking person =

the planet has hard and fast evidence that Bill is a world-class pervert,
but still he feels totally justified lecturing the rest of us on our moral
inferiority.

How fucked up is Bill O'Reilly? Pretty fucked up. Everyone got so crazyfa=

about him confusing a sponge and a Middle Eastern snackcake (pretty fucki=

funny, mind you), that they missed the scary bit: what he meant to say. O=

Bill wanted to get all funky on his intern like this: (you'll excuse my f=

language, I'm quoting an award-winning newscaster here) "I'd take the oth=

hand with the [loofah] thing and put it on your *****."

loofah (lu'f?) noun. A natural exfoliating sponge.

exfoliate (eks-fo'le-at') verb. To remove (a layer of bark or skin, for
example) in flakes or scales; peel.

That's right. Bill O'Rielly, fount of morals, is super familiar with the
female anatomy. So much so, that he knows how good it feels to have one's
***** exfoliated. We're talking h - o - t, Hot. That's exactly who I'm go=

to for my life lessons.

Sorry, where were we? Oh yeah, ***** Christmas.

Can we back up just a couple steps here? At what point did a basic
understanding of the separation of church and state become a fucking war =

religion? And how did we get to the point where you can call an organizat=

set up to defend our civil liberties "Terrorists" on national television =

no one fires your *****? Enough. ***** all of you lying little shitheads who
wish the world was out to get you so you could play the poor oppressed
victims. Wake up assholes - you're the cowboys, not the fucking Indians.

"But we want to display our Christmas tree on city property!" You can, go
right ahead. "They're stopping us from praying in school!" They're not, so
*****. "We're not allowed to say 'Merry Christmas' anymore!" Are you
fucking kidding me? Knock yourself out. Say it at work, scream it in your
high school lunch room, hell, tattoo it on your fucking forehead for all =

care. Guess who's gonna be there defending your right to do every one of
those things? The fucking ACLU. One of these days you bastards are going =

drive those fuckers out of business, and then you'll see some actual atta=

on your religious liberties. I thought conservatives were supposed to be =

proud and independent? When did they turn into a bunch of fucking crybabi=

Let's back up even fucking further, shall we? Can anyone tell me how old
Christmas is? Anyone? Two thousand years, give or take, right? Gee, who's
been reading their No Child Left Behind History Textbooks? Try fucking fo=

thousand years. Huh. Twice as fucking long as your little baby king has b=

around. How could that possibly be, unless. . . waitaminute. . .

Christmas isn't fucking Christian. Ok, now we're talking.

That's right, that Yuletide cheer you're spreading? What exactly do you
think Yule is? It's the fucking Pagan celebration of solstice. And those
"Christmas" traditions? They're not just like Pagan rituals, they fucking
are Pagan rituals. Way before your Jesus got all magical with the bread a=

fishes, the Romans were celebrating the birth of Mithra on . . . guess? Go
on - guess. December fucking twenty fifth. What a weird coincidence.
Practically the whole thing is ripped off from the fucking Druids and the
Romans. Twelve days? Check. Exchanging gifts? Check. Mistletoe? Check. And
you'd better fucking believe that those decorated trees that Gibson and C=

are so bent out of shape over are as Pagan as the Rune and Crystal Shack =

Pentagramfest 2005. You might as well be building miniature fucking
Stonehenges in your den.

And don't you read your own ***** Bibles? Jesus was born when? In the
middle of winter? Lot of Shepherds out watching their flocks around that
time of year in Bethlehem? No, because they'd be freezing their fucking
asses off. Tell you what - y'all go figure out which one of the different
Bible stories about the birth of Baby Jesus=AE you want to believe, and t=

we'll argue about whether it fucking happened like that or not.

Christians just stole a bunch of traditions from other cultures, slapped
them together, stuck a fucking tinfoil star on top and called it the Most
Important Holiday of the Year. Modern American Christmas makes Michael
Jackson look positively organic.

But you boys at FOX still freak out every year about how everyone's out to
get your special trees. This is really the most important thing you have =

talk about? Whether Target says Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas? Here's=

brainstorm: there's a fucking war on. Our soldiers are out there dying wh=

you guys do your 14th live feed of the day from WalMart to show us what g=

little consumers we are. What Would Jesus Do? He'd jump over that newsdesk
and kick your ***** for that *****. Are you sure you want to hang your
journalism credentials on a story about what some guy calls a tree?

Well we've fucking had it. You want to play ***** games and scream abo=

how God's fucking judgment is gonna come raining down on us if we don't
start watching our vocabulary? Go right the ***** ahead. But let me clue y=

in on something: fire and brimstone ain't no deterrent for us. We're not
going to hell, assholes, we're fucking in hell. We live with you.

And ***** Easter too, you fertility-rite-celebrating, whiny, self-righteou=

don't-know-the- history-of-your-own-religion assholes. *****.
***



--
Aloha, G-Ride

"I love songs about horses, railroads, land, judgement day, family, hard
times, whiskey, courtship, marriage, adultery, separation, murder, war,
prison, rambling, damnation, home, salvation, death, pride, humor, piety,
rebellion, patriotism, larceny, determination, tragedy, rowdiness,
heartbreak and love. And Mother. And God. 'Rusty Cage' must fit in some of
these categories." - J. Cash

Blatantly stolen from another newsgroup......


*****

From: www.fuckchristmas.org


Oh man, ***** Christmas.

Seriously - are you kidding me with this "There's a war on Christmas"
*****? FOX News wasn't raking in enough cash already from all the
Christmas commercials for Kill 'em All Barbie and Girls Gone Wild Brand
Toddler Gear? They had to start publishing books about some bogus attack on
Christianity? And who did they pick to lead this particular charge?

John fucking Gibson. This guy has wiener written all over him.

Blatantly stolen from another newsgroup......


*****

From: www.fuckchristmas.org