Her father is rejecting her suitor because he is a mujaahid and may die in battle
Question:
I want to marry a man who is training to go for Jihad in a few years. However, when I brought it up to my father, he refused because he said he could not bear to see me a widow in this world. I understand the consequences of marrying someone who may die in battle (from a worldy perspective: i.e I will be living without a husband for months at a time, there is a great possiblity I may become a widow, etc), however, the reward is far greater than any worldy benefit.
So, is it my obligation to listen to my father? Does he have a valid islamic excuse to reject this suitor when I am more than willing to be the wife a Mujahid? Please help.
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Marriage is a noble, legitimate bond that is encouraged by our religion in several places in the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger. One of the most important factors in this bond is to make a good choice when selecting a husband or wife. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Women are married for four things: for their wealth, their lineage, their beauty and their religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hand be rubbed with dust [i.e., may you prosper]." Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4802; Muslim, 1466.
And he said, addressing the guardians (walis) of women: "If there comes to you with a proposal of marriage one with whose religious commitment and attitude you are pleased, then marry [your daughter or female relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there will be fitnah (tribulation) on earth and widespread corruption." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1022.
Moreover jihad is one of the greatest kinds of good deeds, and it is the pinnacle of Islam. Those who fight in jihad are among the best of the slaves of Allaah, and are among His party of the successful. The virtue of jihad and the mujaahideen would take too long to explain here.
Secondly:
Going for jihad does not mean that ...(Go here for the rest of the answer http://www.islammuslims.com/islam-qa/Volume_2/Chapter_1.htm#_RWTOC-7 )
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