Religions > Atheism > __ Paris Hilton find Gaaawd in Jail <= how fucking special ! __
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Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"¥ UltraMan ¥" |
| Date: |
12 Jun 2007 11:40:22 AM |
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__ Paris Hilton find Gaaawd in Jail <= how fucking special ! __ |
Paris discovers God
Andrew Bolt
June 13, 2007 12:00am
SORRY if you can't hear me above the cackling at the tears of Paris Hilton,
but Australians don't do forgiveness well.
Ask Steve Vizard, who seems to have been permanently rechristened as the
Disgraced Businessman Steve Vizard.
Maybe we're pitiless. Or maybe we believe character will always out, and a
bad'un is always a bad'un.
Paris sees light: Return to main report
But, gee, it's deadening to so savagely doubt that people change. Didn't you
have to change a bit yourself to become as perfect as you are?
Mind you, Hilton is busy right now making it hard to argue we should be more
American in the forgiving department.
She hasn't served even a week of her jail time for thinking the law doesn't
apply to celebrity heiresses, yet has already found God, repented of her
empty life, and asked her country to accept she's now filled with moral
purpose.
America's agony aunt, Barbara Walters, reports she's had a call from this
reborn Hilton, unrecognisable from the one who only a week ago - on jail's
eve - froofed up the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards.
"I'm not the same person I was," Hilton told Walters.
"I used to act dumb. It was an act. I am 26 years old, and that act is no
longer cute . . .
"I know, now, that I can make a difference, that I have the power to do
that. I have been thinking that I want to do different things when I am out
of here. I have become much more spiritual. God has given me this new
chance."
Walters says Hilton now wants to help fight breast cancer, or, like, "get
toy companies to build a kind of Paris Hilton playhouse, where sick children
might come". Whatever.
"God has released me."
If this strikes you as a laughably sudden conversion of a frantic party
girl, it could be that you're being Australian in our typically unforgiving
way.
If you were sweetly American, you might instead give Hilton this chance to
prove she's changed - and isn't that a change worth encouraging?
Not being American, I can't tell if Hilton's pitch is more convincing there
than it isn't here, but Hilton and Walters must think it's worth this shot.
After all, the US has a deeply Christian culture that has always hailed the
possibility of being reborn. In the early 1700s it was already living
through its Great Awakening with revivalist meetings pulling up to 10,000
converts at a time.
That born-again legacy lives on, not only in America's churches, but in
rituals of rebirth that from here seem as unbelievable as Hilton's.
There are, of course, the standard-issue killers who find God, as well as
the renovate-yourself Oprahs and Dr Phils.
Then there are all those new-you gurus who promise in just one session -
plus a course of tapes at the today-only price of $1999 - to turn you into
all you never were, you unsuccessful, unassertive and friendless zero.
The redemption industry is now even retreading showbiz stars who hit a speed
hump, with rehab doing for them what was once the work of hot gospellers
with healing hands.
Mel Gibson is found drunk behind the wheel, abusing Jews? A stint of
five-star rehab sees him reborn without an anti-semitic bone in his tensed
body.
Grey's Anatomy star Isaiah Washington is caught calling a co-star a
"*****"? Seinfeld kook Michael Richards is filmed berating hecklers as
"niggers"? San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom is exposed as sleeping with his
campaign manager's wife?
It's a few weeks of rehab for them, too, to emerge purified, deserving of
another chance.
We don't have anything like this rebirth-through-rehab and would laugh at
those who tried it. But some Americans seem to think it has powers to save
sinners that Jesus would envy.
See how Pastor Ted Haggard, who had to quit as head of the National
Association of Evangelicals after his gay lover told all, needed just three
weeks in rehab for his counsellor to declare he was now "completely
heterosexual".
True, even America choked on that, and might yet jeer at this reborn Paris
Hilton, too.
Yet, I see in Hilton an underparented woman who is only 26 and preyed on by
parasites who sponsor her every stupidity.
I also know what most stops us from publicly repenting is the fear of
humiliation.
So, I wonder who shows more understanding, after all: those who'd mock
Hilton or take her unlikely word and forgive?
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| User: "dixichik" |
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| Title: Re: __ Paris Hilton find Gaaawd in Jail <= how fucking special ! __ |
12 Jun 2007 02:39:08 PM |
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I'm American and I say "Yeah, right" to Paris Hilton's so-called
conversion. We have a saying over here: Walk the walk. Another way
to put it is: Put up or Shut up.
In other words, I'm not going to believe it until she actually shows
it.
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| User: "quibbler" |
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| Title: Re: __ Paris Hilton find Gaaawd in Jail <= how fucking special ! __ |
16 Jun 2007 09:43:45 AM |
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In article <5d80jhF316e7rU1@mid.individual.net>, says...
Walters says Hilton now wants to help fight breast cancer, or, like, "get
toy companies to build a kind of Paris Hilton playhouse, where sick children
might come".
The idea that she has never thought of using some of her money for a good
purpose before is utterly stunning. I think that says far more about her
egotistical personality than any sudden "conversion" claims could. And
notice that she wants toy companies to foot the bill for the sick
children. This chick is a billionaire (heiress) and yet she wants others
to pick up the tab.
BTW, would the Paris Hilton house include free body waxes?
--
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
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| User: "Brindal" |
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| Title: Re: __ Paris Hilton find Gaaawd in Jail <= how fucking special ! __ |
12 Jun 2007 02:20:44 PM |
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On Jun 12, 11:40 am, "=A5 UltraMan =A5" <u...@man.jp> wrote:
Paris discovers God
Andrew Bolt
June 13, 2007 12:00am
Another "jail house" conversion.
Now, the bets are on; how long after she gets sprung from the slammer
will her new religious beliefs last? I'd say about 6 months.
Forgiving? Yes, but not stupid..
Brindal
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: __ Paris Hilton find Gaaawd in Jail <= how fucking special ! __ |
12 Jun 2007 03:16:02 PM |
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On Jun 12, 3:20 pm, Brindal <Brinda...@gmail.com> wrote:
On Jun 12, 11:40 am, "=A5 UltraMan =A5" <u...@man.jp> wrote:
Paris discovers God
Andrew Bolt
June 13, 2007 12:00am
Another "jail house" conversion.
Now, the bets are on; how long after she gets sprung from the slammer
will her new religious beliefs last? I'd say about 6 months.
Six months? You're far more generous than I.
I think the girl is in panic mode and her publicist
should forcibly remove her from the spotlight
for a few weeks. "Put it all behind her" is probably
her best long-term bet, considering the short attention
spans of those who pay most attention to celebrity
stupidity.
--
Walt Smith
Firelock on DALNet
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