| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Daniel Kolle" |
| Date: |
21 Nov 2004 12:02:33 PM |
| Object: |
"A History of God and Creationism" |
(found of a web forum)
A History of God and Creationism.
I am a creationist. People ask me "where did God come from?" There was
nothing before God. Obviously, he popped out of nowhere, and decided
to create the universe 6000 years ago. God's pretty cool.
Anyway, not only did God created the universe, he created humans too.
Not everyone understands the story of creationism, so I will have to
tell it.
As a creationist, we believe humans lived since the beginning of time
with the dinosaurs. Back then, we tamed some of them and rode them
like horses into the sunset. When early humans go hunting, we needed
to bring over 3000 men just to kill a dinosaur and bring back the
meat. We didn't have bows and arrows yet, so we had to throw sticks
and stones. Sometimes, we called them names, but that never hurt them.
http://server2.uploadit.org/files/Mellow-dino.jpg
War was a lot different back then. You didn't need tanks or planes
like today. Back then, whoever had the most dinosaurs would be the
winner. It was kind of like Pokemon, but cooler.
http://server3.uploadit.org/files/Mellow-DinoBattle.jpg
But anyway, as time went on, the dinosaurs disappeared. God must have
gotten tired of those stupid pokemon battles. And obviously, Noah was
a ***** and didn't let dinosaurs on his boat. But some people think
dinosaurs never existed. They think God placed those dinosaur bones
there to trick us. I think this is true too. Haha, God is a such a
prankster. He is awesome like that.
http://server2.uploadit.org/files/Mellow-God.jpg
And finally, to my fellow creationist, don't give up. As long as we
stick together, creationism will be a standard religion. And remember,
don't listen to others. If you do what I do, then no one can ever tell
us that we are wrong! Follow me!!!
http://server2.uploadit.org/files/Mellow-Final.jpg
The End.
--
-Daniel "Mr. Brevity" Kolle; 16 A.A. #2035
Koji Kondo, Yo-Yo Ma, Gustav Mahler, Krzysztof Penderecki, and Geirr Tveitt are my Gods.
Head of EAC Denial Department and Madly Insane Scientist.
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| User: "The other Donald" |
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| Title: Re: "A History of God and Creationism" |
21 Nov 2004 03:47:12 PM |
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"Daniel Kolle" <DKolle@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9ul1q05j6mqftc1kaj5qsnkns8m38bq3cq@4ax.com...
(found of a web forum)
A History of God and Creationism.
I am a creationist. People
Demented little *****....I kinda like him already.
--
-Donald in Austin
AA #2104
Apatriot #22
Atheist FF/EMT
.....and ordained minister
Stork pin recipient: May 1, 2003 -Madelyn
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| User: "kathryn" |
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| Title: Re: "A History of God and Creationism" |
22 Nov 2004 01:35:50 AM |
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"Daniel Kolle" <DKolle@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9ul1q05j6mqftc1kaj5qsnkns8m38bq3cq@4ax.com...
(found of a web forum)
A History of God and Creationism.
I am a creationist. People ask me "where did God come from?" There was
nothing before God. Obviously, he popped out of nowhere, and decided
to create the universe 6000 years ago. God's pretty cool.
Anyway, not only did God created the universe, he created humans too.
Not everyone understands the story of creationism, so I will have to
tell it.
As a creationist, we believe humans lived since the beginning of time
with the dinosaurs. Back then, we tamed some of them and rode them
like horses into the sunset. When early humans go hunting, we needed
to bring over 3000 men just to kill a dinosaur and bring back the
meat. We didn't have bows and arrows yet, so we had to throw sticks
and stones. Sometimes, we called them names, but that never hurt them.
I can only assume that is a horror tale of what history a kid will be taught
in the future in the US
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| User: "Hypatia Kosh" |
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| Title: Re: "A History of God and Creationism" |
22 Nov 2004 12:26:10 PM |
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Daniel Kolle <DKolle@hotmail.com> wrote in message news:<9ul1q05j6mqftc1kaj5qsnkns8m38bq3cq@4ax.com>...
(found of a web forum)
A History of God and Creationism.
I am a creationist. People ask me "where did God come from?" There was
nothing before God. Obviously, he popped out of nowhere, and decided
to create the universe 6000 years ago. God's pretty cool.
Fantasy is fun!
Well, of course it is ... but learning about real science is even
better.
They should watch this guy. He writes so clearly that it makes the
absurdities all the more obvious.
Unless it was a parody. Guess I've been trolled, then. :)
-Hypatia
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| User: "James Ascher" |
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| Title: Re: "A History of God and Creationism" |
21 Nov 2004 06:16:12 PM |
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Daniel Kolle wrote:
(found of a web forum)
A History of God and Creationism.
I am a creationist. People ask me "where did God come from?" There was
nothing before God. Obviously, he popped out of nowhere, and decided
to create the universe 6000 years ago. God's pretty cool.
Sounds like a child's fable.
James
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| User: "The other Donald" |
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| Title: Re: "A History of God and Creationism" |
21 Nov 2004 09:03:33 PM |
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"James Ascher" <jwa1968@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:gdaod.757$NU3.532@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...
Daniel Kolle wrote:
(found of a web forum)
A History of God and Creationism.
I am a creationist. People ask me "where did God come from?" There was
nothing before God. Obviously, he popped out of nowhere, and decided
to create the universe 6000 years ago. God's pretty cool.
Sounds like a child's fable.
It's even better than that:
"When early humans go hunting, we needed to bring over 3000 men just to kill
a dinosaur and bring back the meat. We didn't have bows and arrows yet, so
we had to throw sticks and stones. Sometimes, we called them names, but that
never hurt them."
--
-Donald in Austin
AA #2104
Apatriot #22
Atheist FF/EMT
.....and ordained minister
Stork pin recipient: May 1, 2003 -Madelyn
.
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| User: "towelie" |
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| Title: Re: "A History of God and Creationism" |
21 Nov 2004 05:58:24 PM |
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TV's Daniel Kolle wrote:
(found of a web forum)
But anyway, as time went on, the dinosaurs disappeared. God must have
gotten tired of those stupid pokemon battles. And obviously, Noah was
a ***** and didn't let dinosaurs on his boat. But some people think
dinosaurs never existed. They think God placed those dinosaur bones
there to trick us. I think this is true too. Haha, God is a such a
prankster. He is awesome like that.
Somebody has been listening to Bill Hicks.
--
"Them white boys had me on crystal meth" - some crackhead in GTA:SA
aa #2133
ap #19
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