| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Steve Knight" |
| Date: |
29 Nov 2004 08:47:21 PM |
| Object: |
A Hoot! |
http://www.absolution-online.com/
Masturbation has the same penance as first degree murder.
Can you imagine sitting down and saying 154 hail Mary's so a god
will forgive you!?
Snork!
Warlord Steve
BAAWA
www.sonic.net/~wooly
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| User: "Deoxyribo Nuclayton Acid" |
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| Title: Re: A Hoot! |
30 Nov 2004 12:43:55 AM |
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"Steve Knight" <wooly@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:1dnnq0pkq7rn7vqbsefctii697v5r89c65@4ax.com...
http://www.absolution-online.com/
Masturbation has the same penance as first degree murder.
Can you imagine sitting down and saying 154 hail Mary's so a god
will forgive you!?
One kind of stroking as punishment for another kind of stroking.
Snork!
Warlord Steve
BAAWA
www.sonic.net/~wooly
.
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| User: "Vic Sagerquist" |
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| Title: Re: A Hoot! |
29 Nov 2004 10:17:57 PM |
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On 29 Nov 2004, Steve Knight dropped trou, farted, whirled, then shouted:
http://www.absolution-online.com/
Masturbation has the same penance as first degree murder.
Can you imagine sitting down and saying 154 hail Mary's so a god
will forgive you!?
Snork!
Indeed. I got a stern lecture, 164 Hail Marys and 5 Our Fathers for
masturbation (top of the line) and Gluttony (top of the line - taking more
than my fair share). Not only do I have to undo what I have done (??? barf
it up and stuff the ***** back inside???) but I have to fast for four days.
What the ***** does this prove? That the god is going to make me hungry
enough to do it again, and bored enough to masturbate for four days?
I also have to notify the authorities of my actions. Heh...
No wonder I'm an atheist...
--
Vic Sagerquist
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
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| User: "Tom Sevart" |
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| Title: Re: A Hoot! |
30 Nov 2004 08:43:58 AM |
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Here's what I got:
Venial Sins
Recite 347 Hail Marys and 12 Our Fathers.
Mortal Sins
Consider the implications of what you have done. You must take all steps
possible to undo what has been done, and make right what you have done
wrong.
You should fast for a total of 2 weeks. If this is too much to do at once
due to the length of the fast, or infirmity, it is acceptable to break a
fast into smaller sections. If you are unsure how long it is safe to fast
for, consult a doctor.
If your sin also broke the law of the land in which you live, you must
confess to the authorities.
In my defense, though, I don't think that oral sex is a sin... especially if
it makes my wife cry out "Oh God!" I guess it's only OK if it's between a
priest & altar boy...
Instead of doing all that penance, though, I'd rather just set my computer
up to recite the E-rosary for a while. That should do it.
Tom
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| User: "Vic Sagerquist" |
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| Title: Re: A Hoot! |
30 Nov 2004 11:24:07 AM |
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On 30 Nov 2004, Tom Sevart dropped trou, farted, whirled, then shouted:
You should fast for a total of 2 weeks. If this is too much to do at once
due to the length of the fast, or infirmity, it is acceptable to break a
fast into smaller sections. If you are unsure how long it is safe to fast
for, consult a doctor.
This is funny. I'll just break mine up into neat little 4-hour segments.
--
Vic Sagerquist
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
.
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: A Hoot! |
30 Nov 2004 02:50:49 PM |
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On Tue, 30 Nov 2004 02:47:21 GMT, Steve Knight <wooly@sonic.net>
wrote:
http://www.absolution-online.com/
Masturbation has the same penance as first degree murder.
Can you imagine sitting down and saying 154 hail Mary's so a god
will forgive you!?
Snork!
Especially when it was scripted. Christianity never did have the
slightest clue about proprotion. (It hasn't about anything else so
the lapse fits in)
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
.
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