| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"" |
| Date: |
28 Jun 2005 12:21:29 PM |
| Object: |
A Really Bad Date |
---- Original Message -----
From: Gene & Margaret
Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2005 9:23 AM
Subject: A Really Bad Date
In MY EMAIL
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when
you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
not!!! We have all had bad dates.. but this takes the cake. This just tells
you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show"
with Jay Leno.
Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a
woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There
was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a
day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had
never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to
realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an
hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her
companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point
where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road,
or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly
crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep
snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the
rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about
was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the
situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another
sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her
buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.
Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she
attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply
that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some
assistance!"
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She
too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a
real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly
cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her
into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there
was only one way to get her free.
So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his
pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down... or perhaps that
should be "pants down." ..And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment .. "This gives a whole new meaning to being *****."
.
|
|
| User: "" |
|
| Title: Re: A Really Bad Date |
29 Jun 2005 06:46:19 AM |
|
|
wrote:
---- Original Message -----
From: Gene & Margaret
Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2005 9:23 AM
Subject: A Really Bad Date
In MY EMAIL
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when
you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
not!!! We have all had bad dates.. but this takes the cake. This just tells
you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show"
with Jay Leno.
Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a
woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There
was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a
day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had
never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
were headed home late that afternoon.
<snip>
So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his
pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down... or perhaps that
should be "pants down." ..And you thought your first date was embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment .. "This gives a whole new meaning to being *****."
Well, he obviously couldn't tongue her off the car....
Bob Dog
Atheist #153 = 1^3 + 5^3 + 3^3
EAC's chief cook and brainwasher
-----
"You won't find any opposition to the idea of evolution among
sophisticated, educated theologians. It comes from an
exceedingly retarded, primitive version of religion, which
unfortunately is at present undergoing an epidemic in the
United States."
- Richard Dawkins
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Kathy" |
|
| Title: Re: A Really Bad Date |
28 Jun 2005 05:29:59 PM |
|
|
Not really http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/frozen.asp
<buckeye-ELO@nospam.net> wrote in message
news:ho13c1h5cc066q27h8qtbuk4umeva9lced@4ax.com...
---- Original Message -----
From: Gene & Margaret
Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2005 9:23 AM
Subject: A Really Bad Date
In MY EMAIL
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down
when
you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
not!!! We have all had bad dates.. but this takes the cake. This just
tells
you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show"
with Jay Leno.
Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a
woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There
was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a
day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had
never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to
realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an
hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her
companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
point
where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road,
or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly
crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep
snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the
rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about
was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the
situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another
sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her
buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.
Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she
attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply
that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some
assistance!"
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She
too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a
real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly
cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her
into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there
was only one way to get her free.
So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip
his
pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down... or perhaps that
should be "pants down." ..And you thought your first date was
embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment .. "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed
off."
.
|
|
|
| User: "Rick" |
|
| Title: Re: A Really Bad Date |
28 Jun 2005 11:21:55 PM |
|
|
Kathy wrote in message ...
Not really http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/frozen.asp
I can see the Enquirer headline: "I Pissed Her Frozen ***** Off The Car!!!"
<buckeye-ELO@nospam.net> wrote in message
news:ho13c1h5cc066q27h8qtbuk4umeva9lced@4ax.com...
---- Original Message -----
From: Gene & Margaret
Sent: Tuesday, June 28, 2005 9:23 AM
Subject: A Really Bad Date
In MY EMAIL
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down
when
you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
not!!! We have all had bad dates.. but this takes the cake. This just
tells
you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show"
with Jay Leno.
Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that
a
woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There
was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a
day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had
never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they
were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to
realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an
hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere!
Her
companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
point
where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the
road,
or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly
crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the
deep
snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the
rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and
indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think
about
was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the
situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another
sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered
her
buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender.
Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she
attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply
that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some
assistance!"
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She
too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with
a
real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly
cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her
into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there
was only one way to get her free.
So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip
his
pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down... or perhaps that
should be "pants down." ..And you thought your first date was
embarrassing.
Jay Leno's comment .. "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed
off."
- Rick
.
|
|
|
| User: "Ben Goren" |
|
| Title: Re: A Really Bad Date |
29 Jun 2005 02:07:48 AM |
|
|
Rick wrote:
Kathy wrote in message ...
Not really http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/frozen.asp
I can see the Enquirer headline: "I Pissed Her Frozen ***** Off
The Car!!!"
Not ``Car.'' ``Hot Rod.''
Cheers,
b&
--
BAAWA Knight of Blasphemy
God can never prove that this sentence is true.
----== Posted via Newsfeeds.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==----
http://www.newsfeeds.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! 120,000+ Newsgroups
----= East and West-Coast Server Farms - Total Privacy via Encryption =----
.
|
|
|
|
|
|

|
Related Articles |
|
|