| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Fredric L. Rice" |
| Date: |
10 Feb 2006 09:00:01 PM |
| Object: |
A sex-crazed masturbatory haze |
http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/115785329.html
Reply to:
Date: Sun Dec 04 16:23:28 2005
There's this misconception that it's the married ladies out there who are
the cold fish. I don't know how that got started, because I am a nice
married gal and I am withering away to nothing in a sex-crazed masturbatory
haze.
At the ripe old age of 26, after just one year of marriage, you're not
interested in sleeping with your wife. In fact, you have reached an almost
zen-like disinterest in all things carnal. It's amazing how you are able to
transcend worldly desire and focus your energies on more important things,
like football. I, on the other hand, am so horny that I can't see straight.
We don't even have kids to explain the problem. What the hell is wrong with
you? You're young, you're male, you have a hot young wife who wants you,
and you can't even muster up a little quickie?
Nothing works. I kiss your neck and caress your balls while you're reading
in bed, and you pretend not to notice. I playfully grab your ***** as you
walk by, you don't acknowledge it. I join you in the shower, and you talk
groceries. I don a short skirt and surprise you with dinner when you get
home - I get a peck on the cheek and a "Thanks for dinner, wanna watch TV?"
I try whispering sexy things in your ear. I try going down on you, you say
you're not in the mood. I massage your sore legs, neck, back, whatever,
while you're watching TV and you do appreciate it, but still no action for
me. You have as many excuses for not having sex as George Bush has for not
leaving Iraq. Well newsflash to husband, the American people are beginning
to catch on!
Every day I watch your little beer belly grow just a bit bigger, and every
day I don't care because I am so horny that I want you anyway, and every
day you roll over and go to sleep, and I masturbate my sorrows away. I
masturbate after you leave for work in the morning, while you're in the
shower, and while you're in the other room playing video games. My finger
is developing a permanent cramp. I am so sex-starved that I fantasize about
other men, from celebrities, to the coffee shop guy, to that shy coworker
who always smiles at me, to my jackass boss who thinks he is God's gift to
women. I am so horny that I can't get my work done during the day, I am so
desperately trying to get the images of fucking you, the co-worker, the
boss, the celebrity, and/or anybody else with a ***** out of my head. I
mean, this is ridiculous. I keep myself in nice shape, I get cat-called on
the street and hit on at work and in bars, and I can't even get laid?! What
kind of fucked-up universe is this?
I'll make this simple. You don't have to woo me and all that crap, just a
minimum of foreplay to get me wet, and let's *****. Hard. Let's try anal.
Let's - gasp - do it on the couch instead of the bedroom, or God forbid
maybe a little oral in the parking lot. It's not complicated. Or if you
want theatrics, that's great too! I'd love for you to tie me up - rope,
handcuffs, whatever. How about role-playing...Mulder & Scully? Principal &
naughty schoolgirl? What about costumes? French maid? Librarian? Fairy
godmother? You name it, I'll do it. Food items are always good. What about
toys? Come ON. You must have some kind of fantasy, you must not be
satisfied with this anti-sex life we have now. Are you???
Just tell me what it is going to take, because I cannot live 50+ years like
this. I'm not sure it is even humanly possible to go without sex for that
long. I'm certain it's not healthy.
I'm writing to Santa about this.
---
"President Washington, President Lincoln, President Wilson, President
Roosevelt have all authorized electronic surveillance on a far broader
scale." - AG Christoterrorist Alberto Gonzales, Senate testimony
"Make no mistake about it, this is an attempt to overthrow the
government, not by force of arms, but by seductive arguments
preying on the public's fear of terrorism." -- Filius Nullius
.
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| User: "Sacre Bleu" |
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| Title: Re: A sex-crazed masturbatory haze |
11 Feb 2006 12:57:12 PM |
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Fredric L. Rice wrote:
http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/115785329.html
Reply to:
Date: Sun Dec 04 16:23:28 2005
There's this misconception that it's the married ladies out there who are
the cold fish. I don't know how that got started, because I am a nice
married gal and I am withering away to nothing in a sex-crazed masturbatory
haze.
<snip>
Seems ABQ has an over abundance of sexually frustrated women.
Check out the "al fresco Friday' posts in Rants & Raves.
Might have to visit a friend in Santa Fe soon!
.
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| User: "Heresiarch SODDI" |
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| Title: Re: A sex-crazed masturbatory haze |
11 Feb 2006 06:37:26 PM |
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"Sacre Bleu" <gassac@cr-languedocroussillon.fr> wrote:
(snip)
Seems ABQ has an over abundance of sexually frustrated women.
Yes, but they all look like Strother Martin...
.
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| User: "Sunset Sam" |
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| Title: Re: A sex-crazed masturbatory haze |
11 Feb 2006 08:01:36 PM |
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On Sat, 11 Feb 2006 19:37:26 -0500, "Heresiarch SODDI"
<nyarlhotep@starrywisdom.org> wrote:
"Sacre Bleu" <gassac@cr-languedocroussillon.fr> wrote:
(snip)
Seems ABQ has an over abundance of sexually frustrated women.
Yes, but they all look like Strother Martin...
Damn, that's going to be a really tough image to get out of my head...
.
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| User: "ml" |
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| Title: Re: A sex-crazed masturbatory haze |
11 Feb 2006 10:31:41 PM |
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Sunset Sam wrote:
On Sat, 11 Feb 2006 19:37:26 -0500, "Heresiarch SODDI"
<nyarlhotep@starrywisdom.org> wrote:
"Sacre Bleu" <gassac@cr-languedocroussillon.fr> wrote:
(snip)
Seems ABQ has an over abundance of sexually frustrated women.
Yes, but they all look like Strother Martin...
Damn, that's going to be a really tough image to get out of my head...
Wonder if any are from either California or New York??
Mike
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| User: "David Rice, Esq. desertphile@ hot mail.com" |
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| Title: Re: A sex-crazed masturbatory haze |
11 Feb 2006 07:14:41 PM |
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On Sat, 11 Feb 2006 10:57:12 -0800, Sacre Bleu
<gassac@cr-languedocroussillon.fr> wrote:
Fredric L. Rice wrote:
http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/115785329.html
Reply to:
Date: Sun Dec 04 16:23:28 2005
There's this misconception that it's the married ladies out there who are
the cold fish. I don't know how that got started, because I am a nice
married gal and I am withering away to nothing in a sex-crazed masturbatory
haze.
<snip>
Seems ABQ has an over abundance of sexually frustrated women.
Check out the "al fresco Friday' posts in Rants & Raves.
Might have to visit a friend in Santa Fe soon!
It isn't women posting those images; it's men.
---
I am L. Ron Hubbard and I approve of this message.
.
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| User: "Fredric L. Rice" |
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| Title: Re: A sex-crazed masturbatory haze |
12 Feb 2006 06:22:11 PM |
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Sacre Bleu <gassac@cr-languedocroussillon.fr> wrote:
Fredric L. Rice wrote:
http://albuquerque.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/115785329.html
Reply to:
Date: Sun Dec 04 16:23:28 2005
There's this misconception that it's the married ladies out there who are
the cold fish. I don't know how that got started, because I am a nice
married gal and I am withering away to nothing in a sex-crazed masturbatory
haze.
<snip>
Seems ABQ has an over abundance of sexually frustrated women.
Check out the "al fresco Friday' posts in Rants & Raves.
Might have to visit a friend in Santa Fe soon!
LOL! Or visit them all at half hour intervals. Um, if you can manage.
My god-damned spam filter informed me that this posting from
the blog contained naughtyness. My spam filter should _only_
be concerned about spam, not what somebody told is contains
"naughty words."
---
"I did not have *****-fucking relations with Jack Abramoff" - George W. Bush
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