| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"*nemo*" |
| Date: |
28 Dec 2006 05:56:10 PM |
| Object: |
aa - The polls are open! AQOTM for December 2006 |
Here are the nominations for Atheist Quote of the Month for December
2006. Vote for your favorite by responding to this thread. Votes will be
accepted until midnight, Jan 1, 2007. See rules below. Questions?
Comments?
Email me.
* * * * *
1) ... as a matter of indisputable history, religion has proved itself
to be a rationale for mass oppression and political murder. Here's the
crucial difference: religion *did* pull the trigger. Atheism merely lets
people be themselves. Religion *forbids* people from being themselves.
So when an atheist does evil, it is because the atheist is an evil
person. (Contrary to what you said above, it *does* damn individual
atheists. But only the evil individuals. Everyone else "escapes the
consequences".) But when a religious person does evil, it is because the
religion commanded it.
By: William T. Goat
Nominated: JessHC
Seconded: Harry F. Leopold
------------
2) In response to:
the atheists prayer? without god all you have are stars.
Funny, that's _quite_ enough, especially when you consider that we are
ourselves made of star-stuff. Every element heavier than hydrogen was
created in a star or a supernova, from the oxygen we breathe to the
calcium that makes up our bones and teeth, from the iron that gives our
blood its oxygen-carrying ability to the carbon in almost every molecule
in our bodies. Even the planet beneath our feet is made of star-stuff.
Only hydrogen existed before stars and without them, we wouldn't be.
We _are_ those stars. "All you have are stars?" When you recognize
reality and get rid of superstition, the stars are more than sufficient.
By: Frank Mayhar
Nominated: Cary Kittrell
Seconded: Uncle Clover
------------
3) In response to:
Because to do otherwise is to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I really like this analogy. Suppose someone told you that a baby was in
the bath water even though there is no evidence for one. You look, but
see no baby. The person insists that the baby is in the bath water.
You feel in the water, then you run the water through a sieve and you
still find no baby. You are then faced with a decision. Either you
reject what the person tells you because there is no evidence for a
baby, or you accept, despite the lack of evidence, that an undetectable
baby *is* in the bath water.
From what I have read on a.a., if you accept that there is a baby, you
can approach this belief in several ways.
a. apathetic: " Oh yeah, there's a baby in the bath water. So, how
'bout those Broncos?"
b. traditionalist: "The bath water has been there for a very long
time. My family and my friends have told me that an undetectable baby
is in the water. I respect and trust those who have told me this."
c. hedger: "I would be subject to horrible punishment for child abuse
if I actually discarded a baby. It won't hurt anything to keep the bath
water. I do have two bathrooms. So, just in case, I won't throw out
the bath water."
d. temporizer: "The baby is there. We just have not done the right
tests or experiments that will prove it. If we just keep trying. no
matter how long it takes, the baby will reveal himself to us."
e: apologetic: "While it appears unreasonable to keep the bath water
when the baby seems absent, the bath water is necessary to attract the
baby. The water must be contained by the bath tub. This can be clearly
seen by the shape of the lawn ornaments which contain the image of the
mother of the baby, thereby proving that the bath tub exists; and there
is no reason for the original bath tub to exist other than to contain
the baby."
f. shaman: "It is the mysterious nature of the baby to be
undetectable. The bath water reveals that we can never know the true
nature of the baby."
g. gloater: "Because I have faith that the baby is in the bath water, I
will be rewarded. (Ha) If you don't believe, you will be punished.
(Ha) So, will it be now --- or later? LATER will be TOO late !"
h. fundamentalist: "I have a baby of my own and my baby is wonderful.
This proves that the baby in the bath water is wonderful."
i. true believer: "I see the baby! You are blind, stupid and evil if
you cannot see the baby."
j. doucher: "We are all dirty. We have all played in mud puddles when
we knew that we should not. We can wash ourselves in the baby's bath
water and make our selves clean. "
k. dogmatist: "If we love the baby, we will honor the bath water."
l. truster: I know the baby is in the water.
OTOH, the atheist finds no evidence for the baby and drains the tub.
By: Liz
Nominated: Frank Mayhar
Seconded: Christopher A Lee
------------
4) In response to:
Every claim he makes betrays his
rooting interest, and so is null and void before the words are spoken.
Translation: "Since the Bible is inerrant, anyone making the claim that
it isn't is making a claim that can be dismissed without even looking at
it, because I've decided, a priori, that there can be no valid claim
that there's an error in the Bible."
By: Al Klein
Nominated: stoney
Seconded: George Ricker
------------
5) Re: Effort to remove fossils from Leaky exhibit:
That's nice, but when doctrine contradicts reality, it's not reality
that's wrong.
By: Al Klein
Nominated: Lucifer
Seconded: Steve
------------
6) I think religion is so popular because even the village idiot can
feel like Einstein without any effort.
By: Denis Loubet
Nominated: Robibnikoff
Seconded: Pastor Kutchie
------------
7) in response to:
The National Day of Prayer has been called by Christian leaders
throughout Australia.
Other than the laugh quotient, what's the difference between this and a
rain dance? I mean, in the 21st century people still believe this crap?
Pray to a god and it'll rain?
By: Al Klein
Nominated: gps
Seconded: Uncle Vic
------------
8 ) I'm a little tired of getting these. Who honestly falls for this
stuff to such an extent that these are still profitable enough to be
circulating? I mean, the kind of people who would fall for this sort of
thing just don't strike me as the kind who would be capable of holding
down jobs or driving or in some cases even remembering to breathe.
They're the kind who believe that by talking to someone who never
existed they'll be saved from a hot place that doesn't exist and spend
eternity in another place that doesn't exist.
By: Al Klein
Nominated: stoney
Seconded: John Popelish
------------
9) Let me get this straight.
If Andy hadn't said anything, atheists, on the day of judgment, could
just have said "Gee, I didn't know" and get a free, eternity-long pass
to heaven. But now that Andy's opened his mouth, we go to hell?
While Andy's god may be loving, Andy is definitely a sicko. I mean, who
gets his jollies making sure that thousands of people will spend
eternity roasting in hell BUT someone who's very mentally disturbed? He
makes the Marquis de Sade look like a philanthropist.
By: Al Klein
Nominated: Pastor Kutchie
Seconded: John Popelish
------------
10) re: Christian objections to "Happy Feet"
And Harry potter is the best thing to come along in years as far as
getting kids to read well written books. One was at least 700 pages and
kids read every word of it. These nuts would have loved the Dark Ages.
Hell, they would have *caused* the Dark Ages.
By:
Nominated: nemo
Seconded: Pat Kiewicz
------------
11) Start having "faith' in our evil big brother....after all his evil,
diabolical plans are the reason we are free today.
By: Merovingian
Nominated: Al Klein
Seconded: John Baker
------------
12) Someone assumed, earlier in the thread, that I was looking for a god
in equations. I thought about it some more and it's striking me more and
more curious. In this thread and others like it, there is often an
implication that those who are atheists have some kind of void which
only god can fill in their lives. But I am an atheist for the inverted
reason - religion leaves a hole in my life that only logic and
rationality can fill. Religion makes me feel hopeless, overwhelmed and
like I can know nothing about anything. It's very distressing. I just
throw up my hands and feel like I'm going crazy. I know, I tried for
cultural reasons. It doesn't help me at all. Looking around and working
off the premise that the universe can be understood by reason, on the
other hand, thrills me. I feel like that's something I can work with. I
feel like morals are something that can be judged and assessed. Proving
a theorem is the ultimate in knowing that you know. Mathematics and
science have an austere beauty that no religion can match for me.
Believing in god may satisfy you, but it just doesn't do the same for me.
By:
Nominated: stoney
Seconded: Kate
------------
13) In response to:
So: do you claim that cigarette lighters actually are atheists?
I claim that cigarette lighters are atheist (not atheists). 'Atheist',
in this context, is an adjective, like 'purple' or 'heavy' is an
adjective. Such atheist things are not very interesting examples of
atheism, however, since they also do not have the ability to believe
anything at all. Almost anything, in the universe you can name, is
atheist. In fact, the totality of the universe is so close to being
completely atheist, that, to a very good approximation, you could say
that the entire universe is atheist. The only reason there is an
adjective that includes almost everything that exists, is because the
vanishingly small, infinitesimal fraction of the universe, that does
believe in the existence of deities, tends to get upset when any other
part of the universe expresses disbelief. And they coin words to talk
about their discontent.
The fact that believers do not generally complain about all the
inanimate or uncommunicative parts of the universe that do not believe
in their deities does not mean that those parts believe in their deities.
By: John Popelish
Nominated: Mozdev
Seconded: Enkidu
------------
14) What amazes me about people that respond to mentions of the
Crusades and Inquisitions with "Well Stalin was an atheist and he killed
more people than anybody" is that they just don't understand it's not a
question of body count. It's this: Christianity in particular, and
religions in general, *fail to prevent* people from committing these
crimes. Religion's big claim to importance right now (since science has
pretty much won out over revelation as a source of information about the
universe) is a basis for morality. With a few judicious readings of the
history books, we can see that it is an utter failure on this count.
Are there bad atheists? Yes. But nobody claims atheism is a morally
instructive position. What's important is that religious significance is
undermined, and thus we can move on as a species and develop a rational
morality. One that is not susceptible to perverse interpretations like
"Kill them all, let God sort them out."
By: Chris Johnson
Nominated: Frank Mayhar
Seconded: Liz
------------
15) IT'S THE MOST OVERBLOWN TIME OF THE YEAR
Lyrics by Doc "the freakin poet" Smartass
Waltz time
VERSE 1:
It's the most overblown time of the year
With the christers all preaching and whining and screeching
And full of false cheeeeer...
It's the most overblown tiiime...of the year.
VERSE 2:
It's the slap-happiest season of all
With those grumpy old fuckers demanding we succor
Their worshipful thrall
It's the slap-happiest season of all.
BRIDGE:
The Rightards are claiming that christmas we're maiming,
By saying 'Happy holidays"
These fucked-up hysterics are partnered with clerics
Who want everything their own way.
VERSE 3:
It's the most overblown time of the year
They say they're inclusive but then turn abusive
If you're not in their sphere!
It's the most overblown time--
It's the most overblown time--
It's the most overblown time...of the year!
By: Doc Smartass
Nominated: Harry F. Leopold
Seconded: Liz
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Here are the rules for the Quote of the Month Contests.
RULES
1. Only atheists and agnostics may participate in the contests.
2. A quote is a valid entry for the contests if:
a. The quote is a brief piece of text
b. The quote has recently been written in alt.atheism (verifiable),
and is original (no quotes by famous authors, for instance)
c. Nomination of the quote is made by an atheist or agnostic
in alt.atheism
d. Nomination of the quote is supported by at least one other
atheist or agnostic in alt.atheism;
e. The quote is not nominated or seconded by the person who wrote it
in the first place (no one is allowed to nominate him- or herself,
but a person can vote for the quote he or she wrote.)
3. There will be two categories: 'Atheist Quote of the Month'
and 'Theist Quote of the Month'. The category for which a
quote must be nominated must be mentioned by the atheist or
agnostic who wants to nominate it.
If a quote is miscategorized (e.g. an atheist quote is mistakenly
nominated in the Theist QOTM category), the quote will be re-directed
to appear in the correct category, with approriate notification.
4. Nominations can be made until five days before the first of the
next month. If quotes are nominated after this period, they will be
considered as entries for the contest of the next month.
* When making a nomination, please use this format for the subject
line:
"aa - <A or T as applicable>QOTM Nomination (was: <original thread
name>)"
5. Each atheist or agnostic who visits alt.atheism has one vote to
cast for each category (two votes total).
6. Voting starts 5 days before the end of the month. During the month,
votes will be ignored. This way, all nominees will have equal chance of
winning.
7. The two winning quotes will be published in the QOTM Archive.
SUMMARY
A nomination must contain the following information:
1. The lines of the quote.
2. Who wrote it.
3. Who nominates or seconds the nomination of this quote (that's you!)
4. Which category this nomination is for.
5. The word "nomination" MUST appear somewhere in the subject line!
6. The original thread title must appear in the subject line.
Publish the nomination or support for a nomination in a designated
thread, preferably called "[T/A]QoTM Nomination for [month]." You can
also e-mail it to me (see below).
VOTING
1. In the last five days of the month you can cast your vote in both
categories.
2. Votes must be placed in the designated thread.
--
Nemo - EAC Commissioner for Bible Belt Underwater Operations.
Atheist #1331 (the Palindrome of doom!)
BAAWA Knight! - One of those warm Southern Knights, y'all!
Charter member, SMASH!!
http://home.earthlink.net/~jehdjh/Relpg.html
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
Quotemeister since March 2002
.
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| User: "Harry F. Leopold" |
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| Title: Re: aa - The polls are open! AQOTM for December 2006 |
29 Dec 2006 08:26:16 AM |
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On Thu, 28 Dec 2006 17:56:10 -0600, nemo* wrote
(in article <nemo0037-66BA52.18560928122006@news.west.earthlink.net>):
This one:
------------
15) IT'S THE MOST OVERBLOWN TIME OF THE YEAR Lyrics by Doc "the freakin
poet" Smartass
Waltz time
VERSE 1: It's the most overblown time of the year With the christers all
preaching and whining and screeching And full of false cheeeeer... It's the
most overblown tiiime...of the year.
VERSE 2: It's the slap-happiest season of all With those grumpy old fuckers
demanding we succor Their worshipful thrall It's the slap-happiest season of
all.
BRIDGE: The Rightards are claiming that christmas we're maiming, By saying
'Happy holidays" These fucked-up hysterics are partnered with clerics Who
want everything their own way.
VERSE 3: It's the most overblown time of the year They say they're inclusive
but then turn abusive If you're not in their sphere! It's the most overblown
time-- It's the most overblown time-- It's the most overblown time...of the
year!
By: Doc Smartass
--
Harry F. Leopold
aa #2076
AA/Vet #4
The Prints of Darkness
(remove gene to email)
Don¹t forget your Decoder Weasel
.
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| User: "Liz" |
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| Title: Re: aa - The polls are open! AQOTM for December 2006 |
28 Dec 2006 07:18:12 PM |
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On Thu, 28 Dec 2006 23:56:10 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> in news message
<nemo0037-66BA52.18560928122006@news.west.earthlink.net> wrote:
Here are the nominations for Atheist Quote of the Month for December
2006.
Honorable Mention to Frank for his lyrical rendition of "Good Morning
Starshine".
2) In response to:
the atheists prayer? without god all you have are stars.
Funny, that's _quite_ enough, especially when you consider that we are
ourselves made of star-stuff. Every element heavier than hydrogen was
created in a star or a supernova, from the oxygen we breathe to the
calcium that makes up our bones and teeth, from the iron that gives our
blood its oxygen-carrying ability to the carbon in almost every molecule
in our bodies. Even the planet beneath our feet is made of star-stuff.
Only hydrogen existed before stars and without them, we wouldn't be.
We _are_ those stars. "All you have are stars?" When you recognize
reality and get rid of superstition, the stars are more than sufficient.
By: Frank Mayhar
Nominated: Cary Kittrell
Seconded: Uncle Clover
I added #5 to my sig. file
AND
I vote for the most seasonally appropriate quote, #15 by Doc.
15) IT'S THE MOST OVERBLOWN TIME OF THE YEAR
Lyrics by Doc "the freakin poet" Smartass
Waltz time
VERSE 1:
It's the most overblown time of the year
With the christers all preaching and whining and screeching
And full of false cheeeeer...
It's the most overblown tiiime...of the year.
VERSE 2:
It's the slap-happiest season of all
With those grumpy old fuckers demanding we succor
Their worshipful thrall
It's the slap-happiest season of all.
BRIDGE:
The Rightards are claiming that christmas we're maiming,
By saying 'Happy holidays"
These fucked-up hysterics are partnered with clerics
Who want everything their own way.
VERSE 3:
It's the most overblown time of the year
They say they're inclusive but then turn abusive
If you're not in their sphere!
It's the most overblown time--
It's the most overblown time--
It's the most overblown time...of the year!
By: Doc Smartass
Nominated: Harry F. Leopold
Seconded: Liz
Überwench #658 Now a *real* atheist!
Dame Liz the Undaunted Ath.D BAAWA
Charter Member of SMASH
and Queen of the known universe
.
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| User: "Carl Wilson" |
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| Title: Re: aa - The polls are open! AQOTM for December 2006 |
29 Dec 2006 03:04:15 PM |
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On Thu, 28 Dec 2006 23:56:10 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote the following in alt.atheism:
This one.
------------
9) Let me get this straight.
If Andy hadn't said anything, atheists, on the day of judgment, could
just have said "Gee, I didn't know" and get a free, eternity-long pass
to heaven. But now that Andy's opened his mouth, we go to hell?
While Andy's god may be loving, Andy is definitely a sicko. I mean, who
gets his jollies making sure that thousands of people will spend
eternity roasting in hell BUT someone who's very mentally disturbed? He
makes the Marquis de Sade look like a philanthropist.
By: Al Klein
Nominated: Pastor Kutchie
Seconded: John Popelish
------------
---
aa #1665
aa Veteran #22
"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your
government when it deserves it. ~ Mark Twain
.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: aa - The polls are open! AQOTM for December 2006 |
31 Dec 2006 06:44:18 PM |
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On Thu, 28 Dec 2006 23:56:10 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:
5) Re: Effort to remove fossils from Leaky exhibit:
That's nice, but when doctrine contradicts reality, it's not reality
that's wrong.
By: Al Klein
Nominated: Lucifer
Seconded: Steve
atheist@home#1554
.
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| User: "j_hawk1979" |
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| Title: Re: aa - The polls are open! AQOTM for December 2006 |
31 Dec 2006 08:31:39 PM |
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13..
j_hawk1979
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| User: "raven1" |
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| Title: Re: aa - The polls are open! AQOTM for December 2006 |
29 Dec 2006 01:51:50 AM |
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On Thu, 28 Dec 2006 23:56:10 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:
This one. Nice work, Liz!
3) In response to:
Because to do otherwise is to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I really like this analogy. Suppose someone told you that a baby was in
the bath water even though there is no evidence for one. You look, but
see no baby. The person insists that the baby is in the bath water.
You feel in the water, then you run the water through a sieve and you
still find no baby. You are then faced with a decision. Either you
reject what the person tells you because there is no evidence for a
baby, or you accept, despite the lack of evidence, that an undetectable
baby *is* in the bath water.
From what I have read on a.a., if you accept that there is a baby, you
can approach this belief in several ways.
a. apathetic: " Oh yeah, there's a baby in the bath water. So, how
'bout those Broncos?"
b. traditionalist: "The bath water has been there for a very long
time. My family and my friends have told me that an undetectable baby
is in the water. I respect and trust those who have told me this."
c. hedger: "I would be subject to horrible punishment for child abuse
if I actually discarded a baby. It won't hurt anything to keep the bath
water. I do have two bathrooms. So, just in case, I won't throw out
the bath water."
d. temporizer: "The baby is there. We just have not done the right
tests or experiments that will prove it. If we just keep trying. no
matter how long it takes, the baby will reveal himself to us."
e: apologetic: "While it appears unreasonable to keep the bath water
when the baby seems absent, the bath water is necessary to attract the
baby. The water must be contained by the bath tub. This can be clearly
seen by the shape of the lawn ornaments which contain the image of the
mother of the baby, thereby proving that the bath tub exists; and there
is no reason for the original bath tub to exist other than to contain
the baby."
f. shaman: "It is the mysterious nature of the baby to be
undetectable. The bath water reveals that we can never know the true
nature of the baby."
g. gloater: "Because I have faith that the baby is in the bath water, I
will be rewarded. (Ha) If you don't believe, you will be punished.
(Ha) So, will it be now --- or later? LATER will be TOO late !"
h. fundamentalist: "I have a baby of my own and my baby is wonderful.
This proves that the baby in the bath water is wonderful."
i. true believer: "I see the baby! You are blind, stupid and evil if
you cannot see the baby."
j. doucher: "We are all dirty. We have all played in mud puddles when
we knew that we should not. We can wash ourselves in the baby's bath
water and make our selves clean. "
k. dogmatist: "If we love the baby, we will honor the bath water."
l. truster: I know the baby is in the water.
OTOH, the atheist finds no evidence for the baby and drains the tub.
By: Liz
Nominated: Frank Mayhar
Seconded: Christopher A Lee
--
"O Sybilli, si ergo
Fortibus es in ero
O Nobili! Themis trux
Sivat sinem? Causen Dux"
.
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| User: "Ben Kaufman" |
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| Title: Re: aa - The polls are open! AQOTM for December 2006 |
28 Dec 2006 07:48:44 PM |
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On Thu, 28 Dec 2006 23:56:10 GMT, *nemo* <nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:
14) What amazes me about people that respond to mentions of the
Crusades and Inquisitions with "Well Stalin was an atheist and he killed
more people than anybody" is that they just don't understand it's not a
question of body count. It's this: Christianity in particular, and
religions in general, *fail to prevent* people from committing these
crimes. Religion's big claim to importance right now (since science has
pretty much won out over revelation as a source of information about the
universe) is a basis for morality. With a few judicious readings of the
history books, we can see that it is an utter failure on this count.
Are there bad atheists? Yes. But nobody claims atheism is a morally
instructive position. What's important is that religious significance is
undermined, and thus we can move on as a species and develop a rational
morality. One that is not susceptible to perverse interpretations like
"Kill them all, let God sort them out."
By: Chris Johnson
Nominated: Frank Mayhar
Seconded: Liz
Ben
.
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
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| Title: Re: aa - The polls are open! AQOTM for December 2006 |
29 Dec 2006 02:55:32 AM |
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One fine day in alt.atheism, *nemo* <nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net>
bloodied us up with this:
15) IT'S THE MOST OVERBLOWN TIME OF THE YEAR
Lyrics by Doc "the freakin poet" Smartass
Waltz time
VERSE 1:
It's the most overblown time of the year
With the christers all preaching and whining and screeching
And full of false cheeeeer...
It's the most overblown tiiime...of the year.
VERSE 2:
It's the slap-happiest season of all
With those grumpy old fuckers demanding we succor
Their worshipful thrall
It's the slap-happiest season of all.
BRIDGE:
The Rightards are claiming that christmas we're maiming,
By saying 'Happy holidays"
These fucked-up hysterics are partnered with clerics
Who want everything their own way.
VERSE 3:
It's the most overblown time of the year
They say they're inclusive but then turn abusive
If you're not in their sphere!
It's the most overblown time--
It's the most overblown time--
It's the most overblown time...of the year!
By: Doc Smartass
Nominated: Harry F. Leopold
Seconded: Liz
Yup, the Doc is in.
--
Uncle Vic
aa Atheist #2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department.
Proud member of Earthquack's "Ghost fulla holes" convict page
.
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| User: "satyr" |
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| Title: Re: aa - The polls are open! AQOTM for December 2006 |
29 Dec 2006 12:18:02 AM |
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Wow! The TQOTM nominations are so few and lame, I'm not even going to
vote. OTOH, this batch of AQOTMs has quantity exceeded only by the
quality. Almost any one of these could be a winner in a typical
month. Are we turning the corner? Will we one day look back and say,
December 2006, that was when it all turned around? The exact month
when rationality started to win out over insanity?
OK, let's not get too excited. I am voting for #3 because it made me
laugh and it is so true. All the others get honorable mentions. Great
job, nominees.
3) In response to:
Because to do otherwise is to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
I really like this analogy. Suppose someone told you that a baby was in
the bath water even though there is no evidence for one. You look, but
see no baby. The person insists that the baby is in the bath water.
You feel in the water, then you run the water through a sieve and you
still find no baby. You are then faced with a decision. Either you
reject what the person tells you because there is no evidence for a
baby, or you accept, despite the lack of evidence, that an undetectable
baby *is* in the bath water.
From what I have read on a.a., if you accept that there is a baby, you
can approach this belief in several ways.
a. apathetic: " Oh yeah, there's a baby in the bath water. So, how
'bout those Broncos?"
b. traditionalist: "The bath water has been there for a very long
time. My family and my friends have told me that an undetectable baby
is in the water. I respect and trust those who have told me this."
c. hedger: "I would be subject to horrible punishment for child abuse
if I actually discarded a baby. It won't hurt anything to keep the bath
water. I do have two bathrooms. So, just in case, I won't throw out
the bath water."
d. temporizer: "The baby is there. We just have not done the right
tests or experiments that will prove it. If we just keep trying. no
matter how long it takes, the baby will reveal himself to us."
e: apologetic: "While it appears unreasonable to keep the bath water
when the baby seems absent, the bath water is necessary to attract the
baby. The water must be contained by the bath tub. This can be clearly
seen by the shape of the lawn ornaments which contain the image of the
mother of the baby, thereby proving that the bath tub exists; and there
is no reason for the original bath tub to exist other than to contain
the baby."
f. shaman: "It is the mysterious nature of the baby to be
undetectable. The bath water reveals that we can never know the true
nature of the baby."
g. gloater: "Because I have faith that the baby is in the bath water, I
will be rewarded. (Ha) If you don't believe, you will be punished.
(Ha) So, will it be now --- or later? LATER will be TOO late !"
h. fundamentalist: "I have a baby of my own and my baby is wonderful.
This proves that the baby in the bath water is wonderful."
i. true believer: "I see the baby! You are blind, stupid and evil if
you cannot see the baby."
j. doucher: "We are all dirty. We have all played in mud puddles when
we knew that we should not. We can wash ourselves in the baby's bath
water and make our selves clean. "
k. dogmatist: "If we love the baby, we will honor the bath water."
l. truster: I know the baby is in the water.
OTOH, the atheist finds no evidence for the baby and drains the tub.
By: Liz
Nominated: Frank Mayhar
Seconded: Christopher A Lee
--
satyr #1953
Chairman, EAC Church Taxation Subcommittee
Director, Gideon Bible Alternative Fuel Project
Supervisor, EAC Fossil Casting Lab
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: aa - The polls are open! AQOTM for December 2006 |
29 Dec 2006 10:50:12 AM |
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snip
6) I think religion is so popular because even the village idiot can
feel like Einstein without any effort.
By: Denis Loubet
Nominated: Robibnikoff
Seconded: Pastor Kutchie
Gotta go with this one :)
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
BAAWA Knight!
#1557
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