Here are the nominations for Atheist Quote of the Month for January
2005. Vote for your favorite by responding to this thread. Votes will be
accepted until midnight, Jan 31. See rules below. Questions?
24) In response to:

Be warned Blue Staters ! --- Ye cannot serve God and Mammon !

George W. Bush and his cronies seem to manage it pretty well.

By: Gregory Gadow
Nominated: George Dance
Seconded: Meteorite Debris

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4) Pain is not evil, pain is the idiot light on the dash board of the
human body.

By: Rev. Karl E. Taylor
Nominated: Ian Braidwood
Seconded: Martin Crisp

------------

12) Christianity is a death-affirming religion. Instead of celebrating
life and well-being Christians glorify death and suffering. It is
unfortunate that they believe that the real importance of life depends
upon the unsubstantiated destination of a supposed incorporeal portion
of a human that is rumored to survive cessation of all bodily functions.
They spend inordinate energy trying to dress death up in pretty
clothes and calling it hope or salvation or GodŽ's will.

In truth, the meaning of a person's life is determined while alive by
what she does, whom she touches, and how she loves. This is what is
important. This is what survives in the memory of those who remain.

By: Liz
Nominated: stoney
Seconded: John Popelish

------------

------------

15) You know, for a finely tuned universe, there's sure a lot of
rubble lying around...

By: Mark K. Bilbo
Nominated: John Popelish
Seconded: Levy Oates

------------

12) Christianity is a death-affirming religion. Instead of
celebrating life and well-being Christians glorify death and
suffering. It is unfortunate that they believe that the real
importance of life depends upon the unsubstantiated destination of a
supposed incorporeal portion of a human that is rumored to survive
cessation of all bodily functions. They spend inordinate energy
trying to dress death up in pretty clothes and calling it hope or
salvation or GodŽ's will.

In truth, the meaning of a person's life is determined while alive by
what she does, whom she touches, and how she loves. This is what is
important. This is what survives in the memory of those who remain.

By: Liz
Nominated: stoney
Seconded: John Popelish

23) In response to:

The point is that many atheists are blindly following the crowd,
unaware that socialist groups are using them for their own goals.

Heh. K.C. continues to pitch his odd contention that daring to be a
Christian in an overwhelmingly Christian country, currently governed by
a loudly Christian president, is an act of rugged individualism and a
sign of the courage to make up one's own mind, while being an atheist --
joining spirits with a tiny and frequently despised minority -- is
somehow "going along with the crowd".
Go figure.
By: Cary Kittrell
Nominated: Douglas Berry
Seconded: Mark K. Bilbo

17) Out there, in some distant misty corner of the Internet, is the
sound of someone giving a *****. You need to go find that poor, besnotted
bobbleheaded dungpile ant talk to it instead.

By: Doc Smartass
Nominated: sanguinevikings
Seconded: Jez

19) In response to:

I just don't like being slandered.

Silence implies consent. If you're going to sit quietly by and let the
Fred Phelpses, the Pat Robertsons, and the James Dobsons of the world
claim to represent you, then don't blame *us* when people start
*believing* them.

By: Tukla Ratte
Nominated: Mark K. Bilbo
Seconded: John Popelish

The claim concerning the existence of an omnibenevolent,
interventionist God really does hold water.

A toilet also holds water.

And just like your claim, a toilet is often full of *****.

23) In response to:

The point is that many atheists are blindly following the crowd,
unaware that socialist groups are using them for their own goals.

Heh. K.C. continues to pitch his odd contention that daring to be a
Christian in an overwhelmingly Christian country, currently governed by
a loudly Christian president, is an act of rugged individualism and a
sign of the courage to make up one's own mind, while being an atheist --
joining spirits with a tiny and frequently despised minority -- is
somehow "going along with the crowd".

Go figure.

By: Cary Kittrell
Nominated: Douglas Berry
Seconded: Mark K. Bilbo

10) In response to:

The claim concerning the existence of an omnibenevolent,
interventionist God really does hold water.

A toilet also holds water.

And just like your claim, a toilet is often full of *****.

By: towelie
Nominated: JPG
Seconded: Levy Oates

------------

23) In response to:

The point is that many atheists are blindly following the crowd,
unaware that socialist groups are using them for their own goals.

Heh. K.C. continues to pitch his odd contention that daring to be a
Christian in an overwhelmingly Christian country, currently governed by
a loudly Christian president, is an act of rugged individualism and a
sign of the courage to make up one's own mind, while being an atheist --
joining spirits with a tiny and frequently despised minority -- is
somehow "going along with the crowd".

Go figure.

By: Cary Kittrell
Nominated: Douglas Berry
Seconded: Mark K. Bilbo

------------

------------

23) In response to:

The point is that many atheists are blindly following the crowd,
unaware that socialist groups are using them for their own goals.

Heh. K.C. continues to pitch his odd contention that daring to be a
Christian in an overwhelmingly Christian country, currently governed by
a loudly Christian president, is an act of rugged individualism and a
sign of the courage to make up one's own mind, while being an atheist --
joining spirits with a tiny and frequently despised minority -- is
somehow "going along with the crowd".

Go figure.

By: Cary Kittrell
Nominated: Douglas Berry
Seconded: Mark K. Bilbo

------------

OK, so the Quotemeister has been slacking for a bit. I blame
Christmas... I got a cool video game and I've been playing it night

day all month. At least I've gotten caught up on the nominations in

to post this month's ballots. And I haven't missed a day of work all
month, so there. I expect to be more on top of things for February.

14) In response to:

The opposite of THEISM is NARCISISM

Let's get this straight:

God, the be-all and end-all of the cosmos, takes the time to help you
score a touchdown in the big game.

God, the all-powerful lord of creation, cares about your ingrown toe
nail.

God, the creator and maintainer of the universe, frets when you
masturbate.

God, the ineffable all-father, loves you deeply, personally, and
endlessly.

God, king of kings, debased himself and sent his son to die for you,
personally, so that you could hang out with him, forever.

You say that someone who doesn't believe all this, who doesn't

the Alpha of the Universe isn't intimately concerned with your
day-to-day welfare and your eternal fate, is a narcissist.

How quaint.

Next up: eating cheese-n-bacon french fries while watching TV all

every day, counts as a wise approach to health.

By: Brian E. Clark
Nominated: sanguinevikings
Seconded: John Popelish

OK, so the Quotemeister has been slacking for a bit. I blame
Christmas... I got a cool video game and I've been playing it night and
day all month. At least I've gotten caught up on the nominations in time
to post this month's ballots. And I haven't missed a day of work all
month, so there. I expect to be more on top of things for February.

------------

18) Look, Adam ate an apple 6,000 years ago. That's absolutely
unforgivable. I mean even a perfect, loving, merciful God has limits.
Torturing his own son to death didn't even seem to do the trick, God's
still an apple down.

Naturally the only way to placate his fury is to create people who are
miserable both in this life and the next one. This source of divine
amusement will presumably continue until god gets bored, although he
seems to have a very high boredom threshold.

By: Levy Oates
Nominated: stoney
Seconded: Jez

------------

23) In response to:

The point is that many atheists are blindly following the crowd, unaware
that socialist groups are using them for their own goals.

Heh. K.C. continues to pitch his odd contention that daring to be a
Christian in an overwhelmingly Christian country, currently governed by a
loudly Christian president, is an act of rugged individualism and a sign
of the courage to make up one's own mind, while being an atheist --
joining spirits with a tiny and frequently despised minority -- is somehow
"going along with the crowd".

Go figure.

By: Cary Kittrell
Nominated: Douglas Berry
Seconded: Mark K. Bilbo

------------

10) In response to:

The claim concerning the existence of an omnibenevolent,
interventionist God really does hold water.

A toilet also holds water.

And just like your claim, a toilet is often full of *****.

By: towelie
Nominated: JPG
Seconded: Levy Oates

------------

7) In response to:

Sky News snippet "I was walking along the [Indonesian] beach and the

only

thing left standing untouched amongst the devastation was a statue of
jesus..."

As usual, the miracle needed was for gawd to have stopped the tsunami,
perhaps by slowly releasing the energy in the fault without it causing
a
massive quake. However, the miracles that are always reported do not
prevent death, but mysteriously leave statues standing and scorch
faces
of the virgin mary onto grilled cheese sandwiches. Gawd can't stop
thousands of people from being crushed. But apparently he does use
his
power to protect some steel girders that vaguely for the shape of a
"cross". If these trivial actions are really the intervention of god,
then he is one stupid, callous *****, with no sense of
priorities.

By: quibbler
Nominated: Tink
Seconded: stoney

4) Pain is not evil, pain is the idiot light on the dash board of

human body.

By: Rev. Karl E. Taylor
Nominated: Ian Braidwood
Seconded: Martin Crisp

------------

The point is that many atheists are blindly following the crowd,
unaware that socialist groups are using them for their own goals.

Heh. K.C. continues to pitch his odd contention that daring to be a
Christian in an overwhelmingly Christian country, currently governed by
a loudly Christian president, is an act of rugged individualism and a
sign of the courage to make up one's own mind, while being an atheist --
joining spirits with a tiny and frequently despised minority -- is
somehow "going along with the crowd".

Go figure.

By: Cary Kittrell
Nominated: Douglas Berry
Seconded: Mark K. Bilbo

-----------

26) in response to:

"One who condemns another for falling short of a standard had
better live up to it himself."
- Jesus Christ

And Jesus failed the standard of existing.

13) The absolute-morality-from-God nonsense is one of the reasons
fundies aren't empathic. While the rest of us see good and bad in terms
of the effect of our actions on others, they see it as "what God says".
Which trumps what anybody else might feel about what the fundy does to
them.

By: Christopher A. Lee
Nominated: Carl Kaufmann
Seconded: stoney

OK, so the Quotemeister has been slacking for a bit. I blame
Christmas... I got a cool video game and I've been playing it night and
day all month. At least I've gotten caught up on the nominations in time
to post this month's ballots. And I haven't missed a day of work all
month, so there. I expect to be more on top of things for February.

------------

10) In response to:

The claim concerning the existence of an omnibenevolent,
interventionist God really does hold water.

A toilet also holds water.

And just like your claim, a toilet is often full of *****.

By: towelie
Nominated: JPG
Seconded: Levy Oates

------------

12) Christianity is a death-affirming religion. Instead of celebrating
life and well-being Christians glorify death and suffering. It is
unfortunate that they believe that the real importance of life depends
upon the unsubstantiated destination of a supposed incorporeal portion
of a human that is rumored to survive cessation of all bodily functions.
They spend inordinate energy trying to dress death up in pretty clothes
and calling it hope or salvation or GodŽ's will.

In truth, the meaning of a person's life is determined while alive by
what she does, whom she touches, and how she loves. This is what is
important. This is what survives in the memory of those who remain.

By: Liz

12) Christianity is a death-affirming religion. Instead of celebrating
life and well-being Christians glorify death and suffering. It is
unfortunate that they believe that the real importance of life depends
upon the unsubstantiated destination of a supposed incorporeal portion
of a human that is rumored to survive cessation of all bodily functions.
They spend inordinate energy trying to dress death up in pretty clothes
and calling it hope or salvation or GodŽ's will.
In truth, the meaning of a person's life is determined while alive by
what she does, whom she touches, and how she loves. This is what is
important. This is what survives in the memory of those who remain.
By: Liz
Nominated: stoney
Seconded: John Popelish

7) In response to:

Sky News snippet "I was walking along the [Indonesian] beach and the

only

thing left standing untouched amongst the devastation was a statue of
jesus..."

As usual, the miracle needed was for gawd to have stopped the
tsunami, perhaps by slowly releasing the energy in the fault without
it causing
a
massive quake. However, the miracles that are always reported do
not prevent death, but mysteriously leave statues standing and
scorch
faces
of the virgin mary onto grilled cheese sandwiches. Gawd can't stop
thousands of people from being crushed. But apparently he does use
his
power to protect some steel girders that vaguely for the shape of a
"cross". If these trivial actions are really the intervention of
god, then he is one stupid, callous *****, with no sense of
priorities.

By: quibbler
Nominated: Tink
Seconded: stoney

------------

14) In response to:

The opposite of THEISM is NARCISISM

Let's get this straight:

God, the be-all and end-all of the cosmos, takes the time to help you
score a touchdown in the big game.

God, the all-powerful lord of creation, cares about your ingrown toe
nail.

God, the creator and maintainer of the universe, frets when you
masturbate.

God, the ineffable all-father, loves you deeply, personally, and
endlessly.

God, king of kings, debased himself and sent his son to die for you,
personally, so that you could hang out with him, forever.

You say that someone who doesn't believe all this, who doesn't believe
the Alpha of the Universe isn't intimately concerned with your
day-to-day welfare and your eternal fate, is a narcissist.

How quaint.

Next up: eating cheese-n-bacon french fries while watching TV all day,
every day, counts as a wise approach to health.

By: Brian E. Clark
Nominated: sanguinevikings
Seconded: John Popelish

------------

23) In response to:

The point is that many atheists are blindly following the crowd,
unaware that socialist groups are using them for their own goals.

Heh. K.C. continues to pitch his odd contention that daring to be a
Christian in an overwhelmingly Christian country, currently governed by
a loudly Christian president, is an act of rugged individualism and a
sign of the courage to make up one's own mind, while being an atheist --
joining spirits with a tiny and frequently despised minority -- is
somehow "going along with the crowd".

Go figure.

By: Cary Kittrell
Nominated: Douglas Berry
Seconded: Mark K. Bilbo