quibbler wrote:

In article <427Re.21493$hp.14039@lakeread08>,

1. The Norse story about a giant killing a cow and somehow making the
world with it

You mean like this one? :))

http://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly041229a.htm

Oh, that was choice. This is exactly what I was looking for. Thanks!

Here you go, smart guy -- my first draft of my letter to the Kansas
Board of Education (the final copy will be personalized for each board
member):

rja.carnegie@excite.com wrote:

Werebat wrote:

Hey all,

I am in the process of putting together my letter to the Kansas Board of
Education in pseudo-support of the FSM Theory of Intelligent Design. In
order to do so, however, I need to select several alternate stories of
creation from real-world myths (i.e. "Old Time Religion") to go into
some detail about.

That is actually quite good trolling. However, I do not believe that
you are writing such a letter (I did till I saw it was you), and you
shouldn't do, nor anyone else, because those humourless jerks will just
toss it straight in the dumpster.

The foregoing probably counts as you-got-me, so I will add, fperj lbh.

Here you go, smart guy -- my first draft of my letter to the Kansas
Board of Education (the final copy will be personalized for each board
member):

* * * * *

Dear MEMBER,

Hello! My name is Ron Poirier, and I teach at Shea High School in
Pawtucket, Rhode Island. Maybe you’ve heard of Pawtucket – it’s the
home of the Pawtucket Red Sox, the farm team for the Boston Red Sox. We
also have a large and, if I may say so, deeply religious immigrant
community. As a teacher of English as a Second Language, it is my
privilege to work with many young people from many different parts of
the world.

I am writing to you because of the recent flap about your upcoming vote
regarding the scientific theory of Intelligent Design (I believe the
final decision will be made sometime in October). It seems that even
here in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, people can’t stop voicing their
opinions about the exciting opportunity you have before you in Kansas.
I speak, of course, of the opportunity to finally broaden the official
curriculum of your high school students to include the scientific theory
of Intelligent Design.

Some “scientists” may disagree with the notion that it is scientifically
feasible for an intelligent creator to have nurtured and guided the
development of life on the planet Earth. However, I feel a strong
conviction that a thorough investigation of the facts can lead to only
one logical conclusion: that life did not develop randomly in some
festering pool of chemical debris, but was specially created by an
intelligent being.

Unfortunately, this world is peopled by many narrow-minded and
oppressive souls. While most of these are bitter, pitiable folk, some
have the power to do real damage with their misguided ideals. I am
disturbed, for example, by the recent popularity of a website endorsing
the “Flying Spaghetti Monster”, which you no doubt already know of. I
hope we are in agreement that the opinions expressed in this website are
not of the wholesome sort. If you are entertained or amused by Mr.
Henderson’s antics, I beg you to reconsider.

Mr. Henderson suggests that the esteemed members of the Kansas Board of
Education should formally authorize a trinity of theories explaining the
development and diversity of life on Earth; one presumably Christian
theory of Intelligent Design, one theory based on logic and empirical
evidence, and a third based on the supposed actions of an invisible
flying monster made of spaghetti. This is a ludicrous affront to my
sensibilities as well as those of many of my colleagues, and many of my
students as well.

You see, what Mr. Henderson’s narrow-minded approach fails to take into
consideration are the many other equally viable scientific theories of
creation. Some of these are advocated by no small number of my
students, who as I say come from all corners of the Earth and are often
very serious about their “Old Time Religion”. I don’t think I have to
argue the point with you that such faithful dedication on the part of
these young people is a true light in these darkened times, and
something we would all do well to nurture and encourage. But I digress.

The alternate theories of creation suggested to me by my own students
are varied and numerous. For example, several of my students from India
have explained to me the scientific Hindu theory of creation, which
involves the universe being pulled forth from the god Rama’s navel. A
brother and sister from Norway have outlined a fascinating theory from
their own religious text, the “Eddas”, which hypothesizes that the world
was crafted from the corpse of the frost giant Ymir, who was killed by
the god Odin after having suckled at the teat of the great cow Audhumbla
(some of this was later echoed in the creation theory of a student from
Iran, who spoke of the god Marduk slaying the evil Tiamat, cutting her
in two, and making the heavens from one half and the earth from the
other; I explained this to the student, but he insisted that the theory
he told me was much, much older). A Native American student told me
only one of the countless theories of creation that her own people’s
scientists have constructed, which makes the claim that people were
created by a coyote who was given the task by the Great Spirit.

This is only a small handful of the multitude of theories I have heard
in just ten years of teaching! Clearly, Mr. Henderson’s proposal to
limit the educational options available to Kansas high school students
to a paltry three theories of creation and diversification is an outrage!

I assure you that these and other scientific theories of creation and
diversification are every bit as sound and logical as the more
mainstream Christian theory of Independent Design, and yet I cannot find
evidence that even one of them has been mentioned as an alternate
possibility in any of the “Science” classes at Shea High School.

I am happy to see that Kansas stands poised to set an example that will
hopefully spread across the nation, even to little Pawtucket, Rhode
Island. If you vote to include the scientific theory of Independent
Design in your high school science curriculums, it will do much to take
viable theories like the ones described above out of “humanities”
classes and root them firmly in the sciences, which I think we can agree
is where they truly belong.

Can all of these theories be factually correct? Of course not. But
they are all equally legitimate theories. After all, no one alive today
was present at the creation, so who is to say how it all really
happened? Not I! Although I prefer to believe that the world was
created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster (the same one discussed by Mr.
Henderson in his unfortunately narrow-minded website), I could not in
good conscience keep young minds from being exposed to the potential
truth of any of the other theories of creation I have heard. Again, I
am sure we are in agreement in this matter. It would be a shame if
legal action had to be taken because one theory of Intelligent Design
were excluding the others, as the theory of evolution has been doing for
far too long already.

I commend you on your progressive actions, and hope that yours will be
but the first step on a great journey into a brave new world for
American education!

Yours in sauce,

- Ron Poirier

Here you go, smart guy -- my first draft of my letter to the Kansas
Board of Education (the final copy will be personalized for each board
member):

I commend you on your progressive actions, and hope that yours will be
but the first step on a great journey into a brave new world for
American education!

I assure you that these and other scientific theories of creation and
diversification are every bit as sound and logical as the more
mainstream Christian theory of Independent Design, and yet I cannot

rja.carnegie@excite.com wrote:

Werebat wrote:

Hey all,

I am in the process of putting together my letter to the Kansas Board of
Education in pseudo-support of the FSM Theory of Intelligent Design. In
order to do so, however, I need to select several alternate stories of
creation from real-world myths (i.e. "Old Time Religion") to go into
some detail about.

That is actually quite good trolling. However, I do not believe that
you are writing such a letter (I did till I saw it was you), and you
shouldn't do, nor anyone else, because those humourless jerks will just
toss it straight in the dumpster.

The foregoing probably counts as you-got-me, so I will add, fperj lbh.

Here you go, smart guy -- my first draft of my letter to the Kansas
Board of Education (the final copy will be personalized for each board
member):

* * * * *

Dear MEMBER,

Hello! My name is Ron Poirier, and I teach at Shea High School in
Pawtucket, Rhode Island. Maybe you've heard of Pawtucket - it's the
home of the Pawtucket Red Sox, the farm team for the Boston Red Sox. We
also have a large and, if I may say so, deeply religious immigrant
community. As a teacher of English as a Second Language, it is my
privilege to work with many young people from many different parts of
the world.

I am writing to you because of the recent flap about your upcoming vote
regarding the scientific theory of Intelligent Design (I believe the
final decision will be made sometime in October). It seems that even
here in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, people can't stop voicing their
opinions about the exciting opportunity you have before you in Kansas.
I speak, of course, of the opportunity to finally broaden the official
curriculum of your high school students to include the scientific theory
of Intelligent Design.

Some "scientists" may disagree with the notion that it is scientifically
feasible for an intelligent creator to have nurtured and guided the
development of life on the planet Earth. However, I feel a strong
conviction that a thorough investigation of the facts can lead to only
one logical conclusion: that life did not develop randomly in some
festering pool of chemical debris, but was specially created by an
intelligent being.

Unfortunately, this world is peopled by many narrow-minded and
oppressive souls. While most of these are bitter, pitiable folk, some
have the power to do real damage with their misguided ideals. I am
disturbed, for example, by the recent popularity of a website endorsing
the "Flying Spaghetti Monster", which you no doubt already know of. I
hope we are in agreement that the opinions expressed in this website are
not of the wholesome sort. If you are entertained or amused by Mr.
Henderson's antics, I beg you to reconsider.

Mr. Henderson suggests that the esteemed members of the Kansas Board of
Education should formally authorize a trinity of theories explaining the
development and diversity of life on Earth; one presumably Christian
theory of Intelligent Design, one theory based on logic and empirical
evidence, and a third based on the supposed actions of an invisible
flying monster made of spaghetti. This is a ludicrous affront to my
sensibilities as well as those of many of my colleagues, and many of my
students as well.

You see, what Mr. Henderson's narrow-minded approach fails to take into
consideration are the many other equally viable scientific theories of
creation. Some of these are advocated by no small number of my
students, who as I say come from all corners of the Earth and are often
very serious about their "Old Time Religion". I don't think I have to
argue the point with you that such faithful dedication on the part of
these young people is a true light in these darkened times, and
something we would all do well to nurture and encourage. But I digress.

The alternate theories of creation suggested to me by my own students
are varied and numerous. For example, several of my students from India
have explained to me the scientific Hindu theory of creation, which
involves the universe being pulled forth from the god Rama's navel. A
brother and sister from Norway have outlined a fascinating theory from
their own religious text, the "Eddas", which hypothesizes that the world
was crafted from the corpse of the frost giant Ymir, who was killed by
the god Odin after having suckled at the teat of the great cow Audhumbla
(some of this was later echoed in the creation theory of a student from
Iran, who spoke of the god Marduk slaying the evil Tiamat, cutting her
in two, and making the heavens from one half and the earth from the
other; I explained this to the student, but he insisted that the theory
he told me was much, much older). A Native American student told me
only one of the countless theories of creation that her own people's
scientists have constructed, which makes the claim that people were
created by a coyote who was given the task by the Great Spirit.

This is only a small handful of the multitude of theories I have heard
in just ten years of teaching! Clearly, Mr. Henderson's proposal to
limit the educational options available to Kansas high school students
to a paltry three theories of creation and diversification is an outrage!

I assure you that these and other scientific theories of creation and
diversification are every bit as sound and logical as the more
mainstream Christian theory of Independent Design, and yet I cannot find
evidence that even one of them has been mentioned as an alternate
possibility in any of the "Science" classes at Shea High School.

I am happy to see that Kansas stands poised to set an example that will
hopefully spread across the nation, even to little Pawtucket, Rhode
Island. If you vote to include the scientific theory of Independent
Design in your high school science curriculums, it will do much to take
viable theories like the ones described above out of "humanities"
classes and root them firmly in the sciences, which I think we can agree
is where they truly belong.

Can all of these theories be factually correct? Of course not. But
they are all equally legitimate theories. After all, no one alive today
was present at the creation, so who is to say how it all really
happened? Not I! Although I prefer to believe that the world was
created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster (the same one discussed by Mr.
Henderson in his unfortunately narrow-minded website), I could not in
good conscience keep young minds from being exposed to the potential
truth of any of the other theories of creation I have heard. Again, I
am sure we are in agreement in this matter. It would be a shame if
legal action had to be taken because one theory of Intelligent Design
were excluding the others, as the theory of evolution has been doing for
far too long already.

I commend you on your progressive actions, and hope that yours will be
but the first step on a great journey into a brave new world for
American education!

Yours in sauce,

- Ron Poirier

rja.carnegie@excite.com wrote:

Werebat wrote:

Hey all,

I am in the process of putting together my letter to the Kansas Board of
Education in pseudo-support of the FSM Theory of Intelligent Design. In
order to do so, however, I need to select several alternate stories of
creation from real-world myths (i.e. "Old Time Religion") to go into
some detail about.

That is actually quite good trolling. However, I do not believe that
you are writing such a letter (I did till I saw it was you), and you
shouldn't do, nor anyone else, because those humourless jerks will just
toss it straight in the dumpster.

The foregoing probably counts as you-got-me, so I will add, fperj lbh.

You wear your ignorance like it was a badge.