| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"**Rowland Croucher**" |
| Date: |
27 Jul 2007 03:43:58 AM |
| Object: |
An Atheist and a Bear |
An Atheist and a Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that
evolution had created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he
said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling
in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he
saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he
could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He
ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and
the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run
even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick
himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with
his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Time stopped. The
bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You
deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don''t exist;
and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help
you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of
me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could
you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice.
The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest
resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw ..... brought both paws
together...bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am
about to receive, I am truly thankful."
<http://www.comedycentral.com/email/images/jokesnewsl_jokebody_bttm.gif>
--
Shalom/Salaam! Rowland Croucher
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/ (20,000 articles 4000 humor)
Blogs - http://rowlandsblogs.blogspot.com/
Justice for Dawn Rowan - http://dawnrowansaga.blogspot.com/
Funny Jokes and Pics - http://funnyjokesnpics.blogspot.com/
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 04:15:44 AM |
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"**Rowland Croucher**" <rccroucher@pleasedeletethisoptusnet.com.au> wrote in
message news:46a9b084$0$844$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au...
An Atheist and a Bear
I honestly hope you don't think we haven't heard this ridiculous *****
before.
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
BAAWA Knight!
#1557
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| User: "Pangur Ban" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 07:50:55 AM |
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**Rowland Croucher** expressed precisely :
An Atheist and a Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution
had created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said
to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the
bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot
grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked
over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster,
crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even
closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped
and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear
right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right
paw to strike him.
At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Time stopped. The bear
froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny
my existence for all of these years; teach others I don''t exist; and even
credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of
this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to
suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the
bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice.
The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest
resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw ..... brought both paws
together...bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to
receive, I am truly thankful."
<http://www.comedycentral.com/email/images/jokesnewsl_jokebody_bttm.gif>
Impossibilities: a talking bear, time standing still, an unexplained
light (supposedly in the sky?), and a disembodied voice.
Yep - has to be a story by a credulous christian....
Pang
--
Tamdiu discendum est, quamdiu vivas.
Seneca
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 11:00:45 AM |
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On 27 jul, 10:43, **Rowland Croucher**
<rccrouc...@pleasedeletethisoptusnet.com.au> wrote:
An Atheist and a Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that
evolution had created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he
said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling
in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he
saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he
could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He
ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and
the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run
even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick
himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with
his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Time stopped. The
bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You
deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don''t exist;
and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help
you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of
me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could
you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice.
The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest
resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw ..... brought both paws
together...bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am
about to receive, I am truly thankful."
<http://www.comedycentral.com/email/images/jokesnewsl_jokebody_bttm.gif>
--
Shalom/Salaam! Rowland Croucher
http://jmm.aaa.net.au/ (20,000 articles 4000 humor)
Blogs -http://rowlandsblogs.blogspot.com/
Justice for Dawn Rowan -http://dawnrowansaga.blogspot.com/
Funny Jokes and Pics -http://funnyjokesnpics.blogspot.com/
I ommitted the funy aspect that Gods thinks a Christian is someone who
speaks English and says thanks.
This is really an allmighty god.
Not only does the bear manage a vocal system within seconds,
that takes a human several years to practice on.
He also has the bear speak english,
and not only that: He speaks English words
he probably never heard before.
Any Christian having said thanks in front of a man-eating bear:
correct me if I am wrong.
Peter van Velzen
July 2007
Amstelveen
The Netherlands
I might fail to react on any response you give
Google-groups seems to disfunction since July 15.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 04:12:04 AM |
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On 27 jul, 10:43, **Rowland Croucher**
<rccrouc...@pleasedeletethisoptusnet.com.au> wrote:
An Atheist and a Bear
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that
evolution had created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he
said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling
in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he
saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he
could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He
ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and
the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run
even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick
himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with
his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Time stopped. The
bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You
deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don''t exist;
and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help
you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of
me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could
you make the bear a Christian?" "Very well," said the voice.
The light went out. The river ran again. And the sounds of the forest
resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw ..... brought both paws
together...bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am
about to receive, I am truly thankful."
Is that the definition of a Christian
someone who kills non-christian theists and thanks god for it?
(There was no atheist anymore in this story)
I think better of those people:)
Peter van Velzen
July 2007
Amstelveen
The Netherlands
I might fail to react on any response you give
Google-groups seems to disfunction since July 15.
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| User: "LowLife" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 04:38:35 AM |
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Is that the definition of a Christian
someone who kills non-christian theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 05:37:24 AM |
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"LowLife" <lowlife@o2.pl> wrote in message
news:f8cei5$iu9$1@nemesis.news.tpi.pl...
Is that the definition of a Christian
someone who kills non-christian theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
Wow, really? Who knew?
Sheesh :P
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
BAAWA Knight!
#1557
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 08:09:34 AM |
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On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 06:37:24 -0400, Robibnikoff wrote:
"LowLife" <lowlife@o2.pl> wrote in message
news:f8cei5$iu9$1@nemesis.news.tpi.pl...
Is that the definition of a Christian someone who kills non-christian
theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
Wow, really? Who knew?
I dunno. Aren't jokes usually funny?
--
Mark K. Bilbo a.a. #1423
EAC Department of Linguistic Subversion
------------------------------------------------------------
"You know, I'd get it if people were just looking for a
way to fill the holes. But they want the holes. They wanna
live in the holes. And they go nuts when someone else
pours dirt in their holes.
"Climb out of your holes people!"
- Dr. House, on faith
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 10:12:07 AM |
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"Mark K. Bilbo" <gmail@com.mkbilbo> wrote in message
news:tf6dnWNTyaQTczTbnZ2dnUVZ_oninZ2d@giganews.com...
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 06:37:24 -0400, Robibnikoff wrote:
"LowLife" <lowlife@o2.pl> wrote in message
news:f8cei5$iu9$1@nemesis.news.tpi.pl...
Is that the definition of a Christian someone who kills non-christian
theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
Wow, really? Who knew?
I dunno. Aren't jokes usually funny?
Last I heard, they were supposed to be :P
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
BAAWA Knight!
#1557
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 04:58:25 PM |
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On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 11:12:07 -0400, Robibnikoff wrote:
"Mark K. Bilbo" <gmail@com.mkbilbo> wrote in message
news:tf6dnWNTyaQTczTbnZ2dnUVZ_oninZ2d@giganews.com...
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 06:37:24 -0400, Robibnikoff wrote:
"LowLife" <lowlife@o2.pl> wrote in message
news:f8cei5$iu9$1@nemesis.news.tpi.pl...
Is that the definition of a Christian someone who kills
non-christian theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
Wow, really? Who knew?
I dunno. Aren't jokes usually funny?
Last I heard, they were supposed to be :P
That's what I thought.
(This is so confusing)
--
Mark K. Bilbo a.a. #1423
EAC Department of Linguistic Subversion
------------------------------------------------------------
"Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys
on a million typewriters, and the Usenet is NOTHING
like Shakespeare!" - Blair Houghton
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| User: "Christopher A.Lee" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 05:00:57 PM |
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On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 16:58:25 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo"
<gmail@com.mkbilbo> wrote:
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 11:12:07 -0400, Robibnikoff wrote:
"Mark K. Bilbo" <gmail@com.mkbilbo> wrote in message
news:tf6dnWNTyaQTczTbnZ2dnUVZ_oninZ2d@giganews.com...
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 06:37:24 -0400, Robibnikoff wrote:
"LowLife" <lowlife@o2.pl> wrote in message
news:f8cei5$iu9$1@nemesis.news.tpi.pl...
Is that the definition of a Christian someone who kills
non-christian theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
Wow, really? Who knew?
I dunno. Aren't jokes usually funny?
Last I heard, they were supposed to be :P
That's what I thought.
Fuzzy Zoeller thought his joke about Tiger Woods and collard greens
was funny. Woods didn't.
(This is so confusing)
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| User: "Mike" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 10:43:27 AM |
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On Jul 27, 9:09 am, "Mark K. Bilbo" <gm...@com.mkbilbo> wrote:
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 06:37:24 -0400, Robibnikoff wrote:
"LowLife" <lowl...@o2.pl> wrote in message
news:f8cei5$iu9$1@nemesis.news.tpi.pl...
Is that the definition of a Christian someone who kills non-christian
theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
Wow, really? Who knew?
I dunno. Aren't jokes usually funny?
I thought it was mildly amusing. Not a huge belly-laugh, but a mild
chuckle.
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 04:58:53 PM |
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On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:43:27 -0700, Mike wrote:
On Jul 27, 9:09 am, "Mark K. Bilbo" <gm...@com.mkbilbo> wrote:
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 06:37:24 -0400, Robibnikoff wrote:
"LowLife" <lowl...@o2.pl> wrote in message
news:f8cei5$iu9$1@nemesis.news.tpi.pl...
Is that the definition of a Christian someone who kills
non-christian theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
Wow, really? Who knew?
I dunno. Aren't jokes usually funny?
I thought it was mildly amusing. Not a huge belly-laugh, but a mild
chuckle.
I may have thought that the first 6,821,063 times...
--
Mark K. Bilbo a.a. #1423
EAC Department of Linguistic Subversion
------------------------------------------------------------
"How come God gets credit whenever something good happens? Where was he
when her heart stopped?"
- Dr. House
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| User: "David Simpson" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 08:22:25 PM |
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On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 16:58:53 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo"
<gmail@com.mkbilbo> typed furiously:
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:43:27 -0700, Mike wrote:
On Jul 27, 9:09 am, "Mark K. Bilbo" <gm...@com.mkbilbo> wrote:
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 06:37:24 -0400, Robibnikoff wrote:
"LowLife" <lowl...@o2.pl> wrote in message
news:f8cei5$iu9$1@nemesis.news.tpi.pl...
Is that the definition of a Christian someone who kills
non-christian theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
Wow, really? Who knew?
I dunno. Aren't jokes usually funny?
I thought it was mildly amusing. Not a huge belly-laugh, but a mild
chuckle.
I may have thought that the first 6,821,063 times...
How many millions of times do I have to tell you not to exaggerate.
--
Regards
David Simpson
"Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
without an erection, make him a sandwich."
- Someone on soc.sexuality.general
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
28 Jul 2007 06:05:09 AM |
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On 28 jul, 03:22, David Simpson <farook...@picknowl.com.au> wrote:
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 16:58:53 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo"
<gm...@com.mkbilbo> typed furiously:
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:43:27 -0700, Mike wrote:
On Jul 27, 9:09 am, "Mark K. Bilbo" <gm...@com.mkbilbo> wrote:
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 06:37:24 -0400, Robibnikoff wrote:
"LowLife" <lowl...@o2.pl> wrote in message
news:f8cei5$iu9$1@nemesis.news.tpi.pl...
Is that the definition of a Christian someone who kills
non-christian theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
Wow, really? Who knew?
I dunno. Aren't jokes usually funny?
I thought it was mildly amusing. Not a huge belly-laugh, but a mild
chuckle.
I may have thought that the first 6,821,063 times...
How many millions of times do I have to tell you not to exaggerate.
--
Regards
David Simpson
"Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
without an erection, make him a sandwich."
- Someone on soc.sexuality.general- Tekst uit oorspronkelijk bericht niet weergeven -
- Tekst uit oorspronkelijk bericht weergeven -
What would a horny bear have done?
I mean a Christian horny bear!
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
28 Jul 2007 08:32:01 AM |
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On Sat, 28 Jul 2007 10:52:25 +0930, David Simpson wrote:
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 16:58:53 -0500, "Mark K. Bilbo" <gmail@com.mkbilbo>
typed furiously:
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 08:43:27 -0700, Mike wrote:
On Jul 27, 9:09 am, "Mark K. Bilbo" <gm...@com.mkbilbo> wrote:
On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 06:37:24 -0400, Robibnikoff wrote:
"LowLife" <lowl...@o2.pl> wrote in message
news:f8cei5$iu9$1@nemesis.news.tpi.pl...
Is that the definition of a Christian someone who kills
non-christian theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
Wow, really? Who knew?
I dunno. Aren't jokes usually funny?
I thought it was mildly amusing. Not a huge belly-laugh, but a mild
chuckle.
I may have thought that the first 6,821,063 times...
How many millions of times do I have to tell you not to exaggerate.
Man, you've been saying that *forever*...
--
Mark K. Bilbo a.a. #1423
EAC Department of Linguistic Subversion
------------------------------------------------------------
"What the hell is an aluminum Falcon?"
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| User: "John Baker" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 12:16:28 PM |
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On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 11:38:35 +0200, "LowLife" <lowlife@o2.pl> wrote:
Is that the definition of a Christian
someone who kills non-christian theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
We know it isn't true, but it isn't a joke either. It's just a lame
attempt to pass off bigotry as humor.
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| User: "Conspiracy of Doves" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 04:39:00 AM |
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On Jul 27, 5:38 am, "LowLife" <lowl...@o2.pl> wrote:
Is that the definition of a Christian
someone who kills non-christian theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
No, it isn't a joke either. Just some really bad creative writing.
(VERY creative if it has an atheist praying to god)
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 10:56:20 AM |
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On 27 jul, 11:39, Conspiracy of Doves <mark_d...@yahoo.com> wrote:
On Jul 27, 5:38 am, "LowLife" <lowl...@o2.pl> wrote:
Is that the definition of a Christian
someone who kills non-christian theists and thanks god for it?
that'a a joke not a true story...
No, it isn't a joke either. Just some really bad creative writing.
(VERY creative if it has an atheist praying to god)
It's a bad joke
So I hoped to make it better,
by taking it seriously
normally taking a joke seriously makes for better fun
Apparently this time that didn't work.
Peter van Velzen
July 2007
Amstelveen
The Netherlands
I might fail to react on any response you give
Google-groups seems to disfunction since July 15.
.
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: An Atheist and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 06:17:11 AM |
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On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 18:43:58 +1000, **Rowland Croucher** wrote:
An Atheist and a Bear
<snip>
So, when does the funny part start?
--
Mark K. Bilbo a.a. #1423
EAC Department of Linguistic Subversion
------------------------------------------------------------
"You know, I'd get it if people were just looking for a
way to fill the holes. But they want the holes. They wanna
live in the holes. And they go nuts when someone else
pours dirt in their holes.
"Climb out of your holes people!"
- Dr. House, on faith
.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Corrected: A Xian and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 02:43:54 PM |
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On Jul 27, 1:43 am, **Rowland Croucher**
<rccrouc...@pleasedeletethisoptusnet.com.au> wrote:
<original crap snipped and correct story added>
A Xian and a Bear
A xian was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that God had
created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!",
he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a
rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the
cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran
as fast as he could, crying "God! Help me!"
He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran
even faster, crying in fear, "God! Help me! Help me! Help me!"
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His
heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. "God! Help me! Oh,
God, oh, God!"
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up,
but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left
paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
The Xian cried out "Oh my God!...." and the paw descended.
It took the Xian a while to die, as the bear savaged him. Amid the
screams of pain and anguish, blood and broken bones, the xian forgot
completely about God.
The Xian died, alone. The bear ate him.
God never did show up or respond in any way.
The end.
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| User: "Don Martin" |
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| Title: Re: Corrected: A Xian and a Bear |
27 Jul 2007 09:39:10 PM |
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On Fri, 27 Jul 2007 19:43:54 -0000, wrote:
On Jul 27, 1:43 am, **Rowland Croucher**
<rccrouc...@pleasedeletethisoptusnet.com.au> wrote:
<original crap snipped and correct story added>
A Xian and a Bear
A xian was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that God had
created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!",
he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a
rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the
cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran
as fast as he could, crying "God! Help me!"
He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran
even faster, crying in fear, "God! Help me! Help me! Help me!"
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His
heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. "God! Help me! Oh,
God, oh, God!"
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up,
but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left
paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
The Xian cried out "Oh my God!...." and the paw descended.
It took the Xian a while to die, as the bear savaged him. Amid the
screams of pain and anguish, blood and broken bones, the xian forgot
completely about God.
The Xian died, alone. The bear ate him.
God never did show up or respond in any way.
The end.
It is certainly true that many more hikers have passed through the
alimentary canals of bears than have emerged from the forest with
tales of attacking bears being smitten at the last possible moment by
watchful deities.
WOA* #2278
If you can't be a dirty old man, what is the point of being an old man?
Through a jaundiced eye darkly--rheum with a view.
The Squeeky Wheel
http://home.comcast.net/~drdonmartin/
__________
*Wicked Old Atheist
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| User: "Chris H. Fleming" |
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| Title: Re: Corrected: A Xian and a Bear |
28 Jul 2007 05:57:35 AM |
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On Jul 27, 3:43 pm, wrote:
On Jul 27, 1:43 am, **Rowland Croucher**
<rccrouc...@pleasedeletethisoptusnet.com.au> wrote:
<original crap snipped and correct story added>
A Xian and a Bear
A xian was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that God had
created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!",
he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a
rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the
cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran
as fast as he could, crying "God! Help me!"
He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran
even faster, crying in fear, "God! Help me! Help me! Help me!"
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His
heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. "God! Help me! Oh,
God, oh, God!"
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up,
but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left
paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
The Xian cried out "Oh my God!...." and the paw descended.
It took the Xian a while to die, as the bear savaged him. Amid the
screams of pain and anguish, blood and broken bones, the xian forgot
completely about God.
The Xian died, alone. The bear ate him.
God never did show up or respond in any way.
The end.
I find that to be completely unbelievable.
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Corrected: A Xian and a Bear |
29 Jul 2007 04:21:59 PM |
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On Jul 28, 3:57 am, "Chris H. Fleming" <chris_h_flem...@yahoo.com>
wrote:
On Jul 27, 3:43 pm, wrote:
On Jul 27, 1:43 am, **Rowland Croucher**
<rccrouc...@pleasedeletethisoptusnet.com.au> wrote:
<original crap snipped and correct story added>
A Xian and a Bear
A xian was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that God had
created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!",
he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a
rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the
cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran
as fast as he could, crying "God! Help me!"
He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran
even faster, crying in fear, "God! Help me! Help me! Help me!"
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His
heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. "God! Help me! Oh,
God, oh, God!"
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up,
but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left
paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
The Xian cried out "Oh my God!...." and the paw descended.
It took the Xian a while to die, as the bear savaged him. Amid the
screams of pain and anguish, blood and broken bones, the xian forgot
completely about God.
The Xian died, alone. The bear ate him.
God never did show up or respond in any way.
The end.
I find that to be completely unbelievable.
What? I added all the necessaries and left out all the mystical *****.
It's soo believeable, Hollywood is making a movie!
/BC
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| User: "Stealth Pilot" |
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| Title: Re: Corrected: A Xian and a Bear |
28 Jul 2007 06:26:55 AM |
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On Sat, 28 Jul 2007 03:57:35 -0700, "Chris H. Fleming"
<chris_h_fleming@yahoo.com> wrote:
On Jul 27, 3:43 pm, wrote:
On Jul 27, 1:43 am, **Rowland Croucher**
<rccrouc...@pleasedeletethisoptusnet.com.au> wrote:
<original crap snipped and correct story added>
A Xian and a Bear
A xian was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that God had
created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!",
he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a
rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the
cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran
as fast as he could, crying "God! Help me!"
He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran
even faster, crying in fear, "God! Help me! Help me! Help me!"
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His
heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. "God! Help me! Oh,
God, oh, God!"
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up,
but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left
paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
The Xian cried out "Oh my God!...." and the paw descended.
It took the Xian a while to die, as the bear savaged him. Amid the
screams of pain and anguish, blood and broken bones, the xian forgot
completely about God.
The Xian died, alone. The bear ate him.
God never did show up or respond in any way.
The end.
I find that to be completely unbelievable.
no it is believable all right. just completely unbearable.
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| User: "Ban Bryan" |
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| Title: Re: Corrected: A Xian and a Bear |
28 Jul 2007 08:49:18 PM |
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Stealth Pilot wrote:
On Sat, 28 Jul 2007 03:57:35 -0700, "Chris H. Fleming"
<chris_h_fleming@yahoo.com> wrote:
On Jul 27, 3:43 pm, wrote:
On Jul 27, 1:43 am, **Rowland Croucher**
<rccrouc...@pleasedeletethisoptusnet.com.au> wrote:
<original crap snipped and correct story added>
A Xian and a Bear
A xian was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that God had
created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!",
he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a
rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the
cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly charging right towards him. He ran
as fast as he could, crying "God! Help me!"
Grizzly in China ?, Rabbets yes.
He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran
even faster, crying in fear, "God! Help me! Help me! Help me!"
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His
heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. "God! Help me! Oh,
God, oh, God!"
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up,
but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left
paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
The Xian cried out "Oh my God!...." and the paw descended.
It took the Xian a while to die, as the bear savaged him. Amid the
screams of pain and anguish, blood and broken bones, the xian forgot
completely about God.
The Xian died, alone. The bear ate him.
God never did show up or respond in any way.
The end.
I find that to be completely unbelievable.
no it is believable all right. just completely unbearable.
Ban
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| User: "L.A.T." |
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| Title: Re: Corrected: A Xian and a Bear |
28 Jul 2007 10:39:29 PM |
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">> no it is believable all right. just completely unbearable.
Ban
What a grisly story.
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| User: "Ban Bryan" |
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| Title: Re: Corrected: A Xian and a Bear |
29 Jul 2007 07:23:08 PM |
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L.A.T. wrote:
">> no it is believable all right. just completely unbearable.
Ban
What a grisly story.
A chink in the telling.
Ban
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| User: "ushere" |
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| Title: Re: Corrected: A Xian and a Bear |
30 Jul 2007 12:54:11 AM |
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Ban Bryan wrote:
L.A.T. wrote:
">> no it is believable all right. just completely unbearable.
Ban
What a grisly story.
A chink in the telling.
Ban
i can't bear this thread any longer....
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| User: "David Simpson" |
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| Title: Re: Corrected: A Xian and a Bear |
30 Jul 2007 02:30:12 AM |
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On Mon, 30 Jul 2007 05:54:11 GMT, ushere
<removethis.leslie.wand@gmail.com> typed furiously:
Ban Bryan wrote:
L.A.T. wrote:
">> no it is believable all right. just completely unbearable.
Ban
What a grisly story.
A chink in the telling.
Ban
i can't bear this thread any longer....
The logic is a bit furry.
--
Regards
David Simpson
"Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him
without an erection, make him a sandwich."
- Someone on soc.sexuality.general
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| User: "Michael Gray" |
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| Title: Re: Corrected: A Xian and a Bear |
29 Jul 2007 02:28:57 AM |
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On Sun, 29 Jul 2007 03:39:29 GMT, "L.A.T." <tonyt92@yahoo.com> wrote:
">> no it is believable all right. just completely unbearable.
Ban
What a grisly story.
I'm glad that I spotted the escape claws.
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