| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Kurt Nicklas" |
| Date: |
24 Jun 2005 01:56:31 AM |
| Object: |
!Ann Coulter: Gitmo Loses 5-Star Rating |
Gitmo Loses 5-Star Rating
By Ann Coulter
FrontPageMagazine.com | June 23, 2005
If you still have any doubts about whether closing Guantanamo is the right thing
to do, Jimmy Carter recently cleared that up by demanding that it be closed.
With any luck, he'll try to effect another one of those daring "rescue"
attempts. Here's a foolproof method for keeping America safe: Always do the
exact 180-degree opposite of whatever Jimmy Carter says as quickly as possible.
(Instead of Guantanamo, how about we close down the Carter Center?)
Sen. ***** Durbin says it is reminiscent of the "Nazis, Soviets in their gulags
or some mad regime – Pol Pot or others." (He then offered the typical Democrat
"if/then" non-apology: i.e., "if my remarks offended anyone," based on the
rather remote possibility any sentient, English-speaking adult who didn't hate
America could have heard them and not been offended.)
Amnesty International calls Guantanamo a "gulag." Sen. Teddy Kennedy says he
cannot condone allegations of near-drowning "as a human being." And Sen. Patrick
Leahy calls it "an international embarrassment," as opposed to himself, a
"national embarrassment."
On the bright side, at least liberals have finally found a group of people in
Cuba whom they think deserve to be rescued.
In the interests of helping my country, I have devised a compact set of torture
guidelines for Guantanamo.
It's not torture if:
The same acts performed on a live stage have been favorably reviewed by Frank
Rich of the New York Times;
Andrew Sullivan has ever solicited it from total strangers on the Internet;
You can pay someone in New York to do it to you;
Karen Finley ever got a federal grant to do it;
It's comparable to the treatment U.S. troops received in basic training;
It's no worse than the way airlines treat little girls in pigtails flying to see
Grandma.
It turns out that the most unpleasant aspect of life at Guantanamo for the
detainees came with the move out of the temporary "Camp X-Ray." Apparently,
wanton homosexual sex among the inmates is more difficult in their newer, more
commodious quarters. (Suspiciously, detainees retailing outlandish tales of
abuse to the American Civil Liberties Union often include the claim that they
were subjected to prolonged rectal exams.) Plus, I hear the views of the
Caribbean aren't quite as good from their new suites.
Even the tales of "torture" being pawned off by the detainees on credulous
American journalists are pretty lame.
The Washington Post reported that a detainee at Guantanamo says he was
"threatened with sexual abuse." (Bonus "Not Torture" rule: If it is similar to
the way interns were treated in the Clinton White House.)
"Sign or you will be tortured!"
"What's the torture?"
"We will merely threaten you with horrible things!"
"That's it?"
"Shut up and do as we say, or we'll issue empty, laughable threats guaranteed to
amuse you. This is your last warning."
One detainee in Afghanistan told a hyperventilating reporter for Salon that he
was forced to stand with his arms in the air for "hours." Doctor, I still have
nightmares about the time I was forced to stand with my arms up in the air ...
Others claimed they were forced into uncomfortable, unnatural positions, sort of
like the Democrats' position on abortion. Next, the interrogators will be
threatening to slightly undercook the Lemon Chicken!
According to Time magazine, this is how the "gulag of our time" treats the
inmates: "The best-behaved detainees are held in Camp 4, a medium-security,
communal-living environment with as many as 10 beds in a room; prisoners can
play soccer or volleyball outside up to nine hours a day, eat meals together and
read Agatha Christie mysteries in Arabic."
So they're not exactly raping the detainees with dogs at Guantanamo. (I still
think the gift shop T-shirts that said "My dad went to Guantanamo and all I got
was this lousy T-shirt" goes too far.)
The only question is: Why do Democrats take such relish in slandering their
country? If someone was constantly telling vicious lies about you, would you
believe they supported and loved you?
"I love John Doe, and that's why I accuse him of committing serial rape and mass
murder. Oh, he doesn't do that? Yes, but how dare you say I don't love John
Doe!"
And now back to our regular programming on Air America ...
--
Kurt Nicklas
"I'm stating truths, not making an
argument."
---Scott Erb (scotterb@worldnet.att.net)
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| User: "Toby" |
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| Title: Re: !Ann Coulter: Gitmo Loses 5-Star Rating |
24 Jun 2005 01:01:02 PM |
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"Kurt Nicklas" <kurtnicklas@aport2000.ru> wrote in message
news:d9fp8f01pkb@drn.newsguy.com...
Gitmo Loses 5-Star Rating
By Ann Coulter
FrontPageMagazine.com | June 23, 2005
This woman is about the only person on the far right with a sense of humor.
Toby
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| User: "Bulba!" |
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| Title: Re: !Ann Coulter: Gitmo Loses 5-Star Rating |
24 Jun 2005 01:38:04 PM |
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On 24 Jun 2005 08:01:02 -0500, "Toby" <kymarto123@ybb.ne.jpp> wrote:
Gitmo Loses 5-Star Rating
By Ann Coulter
FrontPageMagazine.com | June 23, 2005
This woman is about the only person on the far right with a sense of humor.
No, almost all of us are (except fundie Christians, they are so
damn serious). It's the left that is so totally humorless.
The main progressive emotions, like D'Souza noted, are
being "shocked and appalled", while the conservativs
are chuckling, laughing. Libertarians tend to like sarkasm
and irony more in my view.
---
A rich man can afford to ignore me. A hungry leftist can't.
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| User: "chris.holt" |
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| Title: Re: !Ann Coulter: Gitmo Loses 5-Star Rating |
24 Jun 2005 07:12:00 PM |
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Bulba! wrote:
On 24 Jun 2005 08:01:02 -0500, "Toby" <kymarto123@ybb.ne.jpp> wrote:
Gitmo Loses 5-Star Rating
By Ann Coulter
FrontPageMagazine.com | June 23, 2005
This woman is about the only person on the far right with a sense of humor.
No, almost all of us are (except fundie Christians, they are so
damn serious). It's the left that is so totally humorless.
Is that so?
The main progressive emotions, like D'Souza noted, are
being "shocked and appalled", while the conservativs
are chuckling, laughing. Libertarians tend to like sarkasm
and irony more in my view.
Is this right-wing libertarians or left-wing libertarians?
There's always the possibility that there's humour you don't
pick up on.
--
chris.holt@ncl.ac.uk http://homepages.cs.ncl.ac.uk/chris.holt
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| User: "Bulba!" |
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| Title: Re: !Ann Coulter: Gitmo Loses 5-Star Rating |
24 Jun 2005 08:45:48 PM |
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On Fri, 24 Jun 2005 20:12:00 +0100, "chris.holt"
<chris.holt@ncl.ac.uk> wrote:
Gitmo Loses 5-Star Rating
By Ann Coulter
FrontPageMagazine.com | June 23, 2005
This woman is about the only person on the far right with a sense of humor.
No, almost all of us are (except fundie Christians, they are so
damn serious). It's the left that is so totally humorless.
Is that so?
Yes. The leftists laugh, but they have no sense of humor.
Scuze me, British spelling: humour.
Humor requires dealing with pain, being able to face
the problem as it is (not escaping from it).
Not: being angry and just a bit sarcastic about this
ideological problem you _perceive_. All the leftist
cartoons that I've seen and were supposed to be
funny, were merely a vitriolic, self-congratulating
expressions of an agenda.
"Ha ha ha, how correct we are". That's laughing, but
not a sense of humour. Sense of humour requires
being able to take a wider perspective than your
own ideology.
Example: in "Team America: World Police" there
are those distances between geographical locations
displayed sometimes, like "Paris, 3500 miles east
of America", which makes fun of American
unwillingness to learn geography.
OK, both a leftist and a rightwinger will spot that.
But a typical leftist will not spot the following joke:
some terrorist state was called "DirkaDirkaStan".
Meaning: who the ***** cares where is Dirkadirkastan?
Why bother learning geography, since the world is
filled with such insignificant, unimportant countries?
A leftist is too damn serious for that. Moreover,
that is not funny for him at all, since he would
instantly start screeching "how can you call
the people living there unimportant! how dare
you blame those poor victims! they're just like
us, only oppressed by DOG / Designated Oppressor
Group!".
Well, yeah, they are people precisely like us, but
so what, their country is insignificant anyway.
There's this sort of contaminating reason per se
with compassion by leftists, while rightwingers
keep those separated.
A rightwinger is able to recognize BOTH sides
of an argument, even if he takes only one
side. A leftist can't.
Well, as I wrote, Christian fundies seem to
be limited mentally in precisely the same way
as leftists in this regard. I'm just not sure
if you can call them automatically "rightwingers".
They're not in much love with free market
or gun rights for instance.
The main progressive emotions, like D'Souza noted, are
being "shocked and appalled", while the conservativs
are chuckling, laughing. Libertarians tend to like sarkasm
and irony more in my view.
Is this right-wing libertarians or left-wing libertarians?
If you mean libertarian socialists as left-wing libertarians,
then no, not really. Although they do seem much more
relaxed mentally than e.g. typical marxists, let alone
genuine stalinists.
There's always the possibility that there's humour you don't
pick up on.
I love to laugh and never pass an opportunity for that, so I
doubt it.
---
A rich man can afford to ignore me. A hungry leftist can't.
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| User: "nJb" |
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| Title: Re: !Ann Coulter: Gitmo Loses 5-Star Rating |
24 Jun 2005 06:48:05 AM |
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"One detainee in Afghanistan told a hyperventilating reporter for Salon
that he was forced to stand with his arms in the air for "hours."
Doctor, I still have nightmares about the time I was forced to stand
with my arms up in the air ..."
Just because she has no trouble keeping her legs in the air for hours...
--
Jack
Plonked by Native American
bobo1148atxmissiondotcom
http://photos.yahoo.com/bc/xmissionbobo/
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