| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Dave" |
| Date: |
19 Jan 2005 03:27:57 PM |
| Object: |
Another Silly Annoying Story |
The original e-mail fiction as passed about by the simpletons...
==============================================================
SOMEBODY'S RAISING THEIR KID RIGHT!
One Nation, "Under God".
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was
going to explain evolution to the children.
The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there. He
just doesn't exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions.
The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy:
Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school, she
must not have one!
(You Go Girl!)
FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT" II CORINTHIANS 5:7
.
|
|
| User: "Tukla Ratte" |
|
| Title: Re: Another Silly Annoying Story |
20 Jan 2005 02:11:46 PM |
|
|
Dave wrote:
< snip >
The teacher was
going to explain evolution to the children.
....at some point, but not during the duration of this "joke".
Nice rewrite, BTW.
< snip >
--
Tukla, Eater of Theists, Squeaker of Chew Toys
Official Mascot of Alt.Atheism, aa 1347
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Dave" |
|
| Title: Re: Another Silly Annoying Story |
19 Jan 2005 03:45:10 PM |
|
|
My first re-write:
============================================================
One day a *** 12 year old *** girl was sitting in a classroom.
The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.
[original story suggested a 6 year old girl]
The teacher asked a little boy: Tommy do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see God because he isn't there.
He just doesn't exist.
ADMINISTRATOR: Teacher, please report to my office immediately,
you will be suspended pending your termination review.
TEACHER: Why Sir, you know that no real grammar school or high
school teacher would ever say what I just said about God.
ADMINISTRATOR: Not if they want to keep their jobs they wouldn't,
so then why did you make an anti-religious comment to these students?
TEACHER: Because this is merely a script that was written by
someone wishing to present a "straw man" argument about religion
and rampant atheism in public schools which in no way resembles what
would be said in an actual classroom.
ADMINISTRATOR: So then please present for us a realistic inter-
change with the students regarding the topic at hand.
TEACHER: Alright. Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Tommy do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
TEACHER: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssss!
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see Mr. Savage, our Administrator?
TOMMY: Yes!!!
TEACHER: Do you see his brain?
TOMMY: No
TEACHER: Then how could you prove he has one?
TOMMY: You could do an X-Ray!
TEACHER: What else?
TOMMY: You could give him a math test!
TEACHER: What else?
TOMMY: You could weigh his head!
TEACHER: What else?
TOMMY: Uh.
TEACHER: Couldn't you make an educated presumption based on his
being alive and apparently in good health?
TOMMY: Ok.
TEACHER: When all the available evidence indicates that Mr. Savage
has a brain, isn't it reasonable to suppose that he does? We know
that people can't live without a brain and certainly can't function
without one.
ADMINISTRATOR: And on the topic?
TEACHER: When scientists look at the evidence that is available
regarding life on this planet they come to one reasonable
conclusion. Every living thing that we see today is a product of
prior generations. The tree outside is perhaps thirty years old.
It resembles its parents just as you resemble your parents, but
neither it nor you are _identical_ to your parents. There are
slight differences. The Earth itself is over four billion years
old. Life here has existed for approximately three billion years.
Life has been changing slowly over that period of time. The tiny
changes between each generation slowly produce new species. There
are fossils of many ancient types of animals such as dinosaurs
that are no longer living. They have become extinct. Have you ever
seen the fossils at a Museum of Natural History?
LITTLE GIRL: That is false. My Daddy says the earth is only about
6000 years old. It says so in the Bible.
ADMINISTRATOR: Yes teacher, I really have to say that you are
courting trouble here. I don't want to have to spend my time calming
the religious zealots. Couldn't you be more vague?
TEACHER: How vague do you want me to be?
ADMINISTRATOR: Vague enough so that there are no ruffled feathers
that I will have to deal with.
TEACHER: How about this then; end of lesson. Those with any interest
can check the library if the books haven't already been burned.
ADMINISTRATOR: Good. Now sweetie, you tell your Daddy that everything
is fine at school and that he is absolutely correct.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Tukla Ratte" |
|
| Title: Re: Another Silly Annoying Story |
20 Jan 2005 02:16:35 PM |
|
|
Dave wrote:
< snip >
TEACHER: When all the available evidence indicates that Mr. Savage
has a brain, isn't it reasonable to suppose that he does? We know
that people can't live without a brain and certainly can't function
without one.
Teacher obviously doesn't spend much time on the Internet.
< snip >
--
Tukla, Eater of Theists, Squeaker of Chew Toys
Official Mascot of Alt.Atheism, aa 1347
.
|
|
|
| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
|
| Title: Re: Another Silly Annoying Story |
20 Jan 2005 09:05:41 PM |
|
|
In our last episode <35aht5F4km0m6U1@individual.net>, Tukla Ratte lept out
of the bushes shouting:
Dave wrote:
< snip >
TEACHER: When all the available evidence indicates that Mr. Savage has a
brain, isn't it reasonable to suppose that he does? We know that people
can't live without a brain and certainly can't function without one.
Teacher obviously doesn't spend much time on the Internet.
< snip >
<snortle>
--
Mark K. Bilbo - a.a. #1423
EAC Department of Linguistic Subversion
Alt-atheism website at: http://www.alt-atheism.org
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful."
-- Seneca the Younger
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Al Klein" |
|
| Title: Re: Another Silly Annoying Story |
19 Jan 2005 06:10:05 PM |
|
|
On 19 Jan 2005 13:45:10 -0800, "Dave" <galt_57@hotmail.com> said in
alt.atheism:
My first re-write:
============================================================
One day a *** 12 year old *** girl was sitting in a classroom.
The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.
[original story suggested a 6 year old girl]
Try a *** 2 year old *** girl. Six-year-olds aren't stupid enough to
fall for this nonsense.
--
"I can't activate two neurons simultaneously, and I vote"
- The theistic majority
(random sig, produced by SigChanger)
rukbat at verizon dot net
.
|
|
|
| User: "Dave" |
|
| Title: Re: Another Silly Annoying Story |
20 Jan 2005 10:21:13 AM |
|
|
Al Klein wrote:
"Dave" <galt_57@hotmail.com> said in alt.atheism:
My first re-write:
One day a *** 12 year old *** girl was sitting in a classroom.
The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.
[original story suggested a 6 year old girl]
Try a *** 2 year old *** girl. Six-year-olds aren't stupid
enough to fall for this nonsense.
Oh, the sad thing is these "feel good" stories are passed around
as e-mail between ***Adults***.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Al Klein" |
|
| Title: Re: Another Silly Annoying Story |
21 Jan 2005 03:22:14 PM |
|
|
On 20 Jan 2005 08:21:13 -0800, "Dave" <galt_57@hotmail.com> said in
alt.atheism:
Al Klein wrote:
"Dave" <galt_57@hotmail.com> said in alt.atheism:
My first re-write:
One day a *** 12 year old *** girl was sitting in a classroom.
The teacher was going to explain evolution to the children.
[original story suggested a 6 year old girl]
Try a *** 2 year old *** girl. Six-year-olds aren't stupid
enough to fall for this nonsense.
Oh, the sad thing is these "feel good" stories are passed around
as e-mail between ***Adults***.
Who were stupidified long before they were 12.
--
"The study of geology is ok-But not when it contradicts what is laid
out in the Bible that the earth is more than 10,000 years old."
- Doug Lee, Creationist
(random sig, produced by SigChanger)
rukbat at verizon dot net
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Vic Sagerquist" |
|
| Title: Re: Another Silly Annoying Story |
19 Jan 2005 04:01:09 PM |
|
|
on 19 Jan 2005 in alt.atheism, Dave dropped trou, farted, whirled, then
shouted:
My first re-write:
Nice post! Thanks!
--
Vic Sagerquist
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
______________
Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are the kind of
people you wouldn't want to ***** in the first place?
--George Carlin
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Dubh Ghall" |
|
| Title: Re: Another Silly Annoying Story |
20 Jan 2005 07:00:45 PM |
|
|
On 19 Jan 2005 13:27:57 -0800, "Dave" <galt_57@hotmail.com> wrote:
The original e-mail fiction as passed about by the simpletons...
==============================================================
SOMEBODY'S RAISING THEIR KID RIGHT!
One Nation, "Under God".
One day a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The teacher was
going to explain evolution to the children.
snip
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No
LITTLE GIRL: Then according to what we were taught today in school, she
must not have one!
(You Go Girl!)
FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT" II CORINTHIANS 5:7
Just goes to show, there is no age limit on stupid.
--
Puck Greenman
The spelling Like any opinion stated here
purely my own
#162 BAAWA Knight.
January 27th
Na bister 500,000
.
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
|
|
