| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Adam Marczyk" |
| Date: |
31 Jul 2003 03:03:52 PM |
| Object: |
Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in. I
feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any equivalent
humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does anyone have any
suggestions for some good ones?
--
"I'm materialist | a.a. #2001
Call me a humanist | http://www.ebonmusings.org
I guess I'm full of doubt | e-mail: ebonmuse!hotmail.com
So I'll gladly have it out with you..." | ICQ: 8777843
--Bad Religion, "Materialist" | PGP Key ID: 0x5C66F737
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| User: "Clayton..or \Dances With Wuss" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
31 Jul 2003 07:54:31 PM |
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"Adam Marczyk" <see@sig.com> wrote in message
news:ICeWa.24139$Q86.2083@news02.roc.ny...
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in.
The thing about the "atheist and the bear" joke, is that it isn't an atheist
joke. It makes no sense as an atheist joke! It was around for 50 years as
a catholic joke...(doesn't it make more sense for a catholic to make the
bear Christian than an atheist?)....until a few years ago when it was
hamfistedly changed by simply changing "Catholic" to "atheist" and Xtian
patting themselves on the back for being so clever, despite a total lack of
sense in it's new version. They might as well just take Irish jokes and
force atheism into it and claim moral victory over us.
I feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any
equivalent
humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does anyone have any
suggestions for some good ones?
--
"I'm materialist | a.a. #2001
Call me a humanist | http://www.ebonmusings.org
I guess I'm full of doubt | e-mail: ebonmuse!hotmail.com
So I'll gladly have it out with you..." | ICQ: 8777843
--Bad Religion, "Materialist" | PGP Key ID: 0x5C66F737
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| User: "Indefual" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
01 Aug 2003 08:23:00 PM |
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Clayton..or "Dances With Wuss" wrote:
until a few
years ago when it was hamfistedly changed by simply changing
"Catholic" to "atheist" and Xtian patting themselves on the back for
being so clever,
Search and replace, eh? I think I have a joke on my website that I
could modify in the same way (I am sure that simply replacing text is
how it got there in the first place):
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a theist. She
asks her students to raise their hands if they were theists too.
Not really knowing why, but wanting to be like their teacher, their
hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone
along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I
am not a theist."
"Then", asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"I'm a proud atheist," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks
Kristen why she is a atheist. "Well, my mom and dad are atheists, so
I'm a atheist too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What
if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be
then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a theist."
-Shawn P. 'Indefual' Conroy
--
"When I die, I'm donating my body to science fiction."
-Steven Wright
http://www.Indefual.Net/
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| User: "Doug Semler" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
02 Aug 2003 12:55:15 AM |
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<joke removed for brevity>
It would be more punny (only works when written though), if you took out the
articles in front of the word "atheist" in the joke, and change the "I'm a
proud atheist" line to "I'm proud to be atheist"
Thusly:
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a theist. She
asks her students to raise their hands if they were theists too.
Not really knowing why, but wanting to be like their teacher, their
hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone
along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I
am not a theist."
"Then", asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"I'm proud to be atheist," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks
Kristen why she is atheist. "Well, my mom and dad are atheists, so
I'm atheist too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What
if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be
then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a theist."
--
Doug Semler
http://home.wideopenwest.com/~doug_semler
a.a. #705, BAAWA. EAC Guardian of the Horn of the IPU (pbuhh).
I hate spam, standard email address munging applied.
42
DNRC o-
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| User: "Brandon Sieges" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
02 Aug 2003 04:18:37 AM |
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Doug Semler wrote:
<joke removed for brevity>
It would be more punny (only works when written though), if you took out the
articles in front of the word "atheist" in the joke, and change the "I'm a
proud atheist" line to "I'm proud to be atheist"
Thusly:
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a theist. She
asks her students to raise their hands if they were theists too.
Not really knowing why, but wanting to be like their teacher, their
hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone
along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I
am not a theist."
"Then", asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"I'm proud to be atheist," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks
Kristen why she is atheist. "Well, my mom and dad are atheists, so
I'm atheist too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What
if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be
then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a theist."
You can get a database of my collected jokes at
http://www.nukenet.com/christ.php?every=1 or a single random one at
http://www.nukenet.com/christ.php
Most of them are Catholic/Xian, but c'est la vie. I do my best...
New to this forum and bitter atheist,
--Abyzmal
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| User: "Khartoum" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
31 Jul 2003 03:50:45 PM |
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"Adam Marczyk" <see@sig.com> wrote in message
news:ICeWa.24139$Q86.2083@news02.roc.ny...
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in. I
feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any equivalent
humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does anyone have any
suggestions for some good ones?
Most of these are anti-religion jokes and not pro-atheist jokes.
http://www.atheistalliance.org/humor/index.html
--
***********************************************
Khartoum aa#2110
I think we ought always to entertain our opinions with some measure of
doubt. I shouldn't wish people dogmatically to believe any philosophy, not
even mine.
Bertrand Russell
--
"I'm materialist | a.a. #2001
Call me a humanist | http://www.ebonmusings.org
I guess I'm full of doubt | e-mail: ebonmuse!hotmail.com
So I'll gladly have it out with you..." | ICQ: 8777843
--Bad Religion, "Materialist" | PGP Key ID: 0x5C66F737
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| User: "Mark Nutter" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
02 Aug 2003 10:52:26 AM |
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"Adam Marczyk" <see@sig.com> wrote in message news:<ICeWa.24139$Q86.2083@news02.roc.ny>...
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in. I
feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any equivalent
humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does anyone have any
suggestions for some good ones?
A Christian bank manager kneels down to pray one day, and says, "O
Lord, I'm in terrible trouble at work. Some how the books got messed
up real bad, and there's 85 thousand dollars missing from our biggest
account, and the board of directors wants to hold me accountable. I
could take responsibility and get fired, or I could fight it. But I
haven't got the resources to fight it, so I really need Your guidance.
Please, I am asking you, like Gideon put out a fleece to learn Your
will--if You want me to take responsibility and get fired, let it rain
tomorrow, but if You want me to fight it, and if You'll help me win,
let it be sunny."
So the next morning he gets up and it's raining. Rain, rain, rain,
all day long. So that night he prays, "Lord, I really want to be sure
I'm discerning Your will correctly, so please forgive me if I ask
again. If You want me to take responsibility and get fired, please
let it be sunny tomorrow, but if You want me to fight it, and You are
willing to help me win, let it be rainy."
So the next morning dawns bright and sunny, and there's not a cloud in
the sky all day long. So the guy prays one last time, "Lord, it's
really important to me that I am sure I know Your will, so I'm going
to pray one more time. If you want me to take responsibility and get
fired, let the weather tomorrow be foggy in the morning with violent
thunderstorms in the afternoon, but if You will help me fight this,
let it be sunny and dry all day."
So the next morning dawns with the thickest fog in 14 years, and by
the time it clears up around lunchtime, a string of violent
thunderstorms moves into the area and pounds the whole county until
after mindnight. So the bank manager looks out his windown at all the
rain and lightning, and sighs, and says, "Man, how am I ever supposed
to find out God's will if Satan keeps messing with the weather like
this?"
m
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| User: "Kenneth Doyle" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
02 Aug 2003 11:13:24 AM |
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(Mark Nutter) wrote in
news:fddfde37.0308020752.5fa33ba5@posting.google.com:
"Adam Marczyk" <see@sig.com> wrote in message
news:<ICeWa.24139$Q86.2083@news02.roc.ny>...
Does anyone
have any suggestions for some good ones?
"Man, how am I ever
supposed to find out God's will if Satan keeps messing with
the weather like this?"
LOL
Two explorers are walking through the jungle, exploring. It's
head-hunter country, and they're feeling a bit nervous, as they
carefully make their way through the undergrowth. Presently,
they come upon a clearing. Out of nowhere, spring a dozen or so
fierce looking men with spears. They form a circle around the
two explorers, chanting and brandishing their weapons. Almost
involuntarily, one of the explorers exclaims, "Oh God, we're
fucked now". As soon as those words leave his lips, the ground
starts to tremble, the wind howls, and a booming voice resounds
from the heavens, "No, thou art not fucked. Pick up yon rock
and smiteth thee the nearest savage upon his head" Quick as a
flash, the intrepid explorer does exactly that. The others
become silent, looking at their fallen comrade. Once more the
voice booms out, "Now, thou art fucked".
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| User: "Brenda Nelson" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
01 Aug 2003 12:27:08 PM |
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"Adam Marczyk" <see@sig.com> wrote in message news:<ICeWa.24139$Q86.2083@news02.roc.ny>...
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in. I
feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any equivalent
humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does anyone have any
suggestions for some good ones?
So there's this atheist living temporarily in Jerusalem. His window
gives him a good view of the Wailing Wall. Every time he looks out
the window, he sees an certain elderly gentleman praying at the Wall.
One day the atheist is coming home past the Wailing Wall, and sure
'nuff, there's the old gentleman, just praying away.
"Excuse me," says the atheist, "but I see you here praying every day.
May I ask what you pray so earnestly for?"
"Nu," responds the elderly man, "I ask God for a world full of peace
and justice!"
"That must get frustrating," responds the atheist, "since the world
never changes."
"Frustrating????" cries the elderly gentleman, "It's like talking to a
brick wall!!!"
Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
Chief Wrangler and Ramrod Emeritus
(and Professor of Feline Thermometrics)
EAC Equine Transportation Command/Carne Seca Division
in the Prefecture of Baja, Arizona
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| User: "Brian F. King" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
02 Aug 2003 08:26:05 AM |
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"Adam Marczyk" <see@sig.com> wrote:
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in. I
feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any equivalent
humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does anyone have any
suggestions for some good ones?
Does this count?
http://www.choppingblock.org/d/20021127.html
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| User: "Clayton..or \Dances With Wuss" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
01 Aug 2003 08:28:51 PM |
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"Marc Fleury" <marcfleury@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:t3tkivsafgep2jg4rg7g0ct9tvcah5f00c@4ax.com...
Adam Marczyk wrote:
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in. I
feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any
equivalent
humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does anyone have any
suggestions for some good ones?
I'm not sure if it really fits your definition, but I like this joke
for its "There are no THEISTS in foxholes" angle:
A guy is driving like a maniac down an empty, winding, seaside
highway. He loses control of his car and goes over the edge, but he
jumps from his car on the way down, and amazingly, is able to grab on
to a root sticking out of the side of the cliff. There he is, dangling
from a root, some ten feet below the edge of the cliff. He begins to
yell "Oh please, God! Send someone to help me!"
Just then, a loud voice comes from above the cliff's edge. "I can help
you!"
"Oh thank god there someone there!" The man cries. "Hurry! I'm
starting to lose my grip!"
"I am the Lord your God! And I can save you from your predicament! All
you need to do is trust in me, and let go of the root. I will catch
you."
The man is silent for a few moments. Finally, he shouts "Can anyone
ELSE up there help me!?"
In a similar vein..
Jerry Falwell is driving along a mountain road when he sees two men with
long hair beside the road and...deciding they must be homosexuals...swerves
towards them. He misses and his car flies off the cliff. He manages to
dive out at the last moment and grabs hold of a bush. His grip is slipping
so he cries out, "Jesus...help me, my lord and savoir". Suddenly Jesus
appears above him. "Jerry....you have served me faithfully for many
years...you have spread my word and my love and have fought the good fight
against those I find offensive in my eyes. I shall save you! Release the
branch and my father in heaven shall pluck you from the sky and lower you
gently to the ground" Jesus says.
"Are you sure, my lord?" says Falwell.
"Yes, my son...have faith in me!" says JC. So Falwell closes his eyes, says
a prayer and releases the branch..
...and plummets to his death on the rocks below. Jesus looks down and says,
"*****, I hate that *****!!"
--
Marc.
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| User: "Fear gan dia" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
01 Aug 2003 10:06:08 PM |
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Verily verily I say unto you, it is written by "Clayton..or \"Dances With Wuss\"" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKoptusnet.com.au>
in <3f2b134b$0$10354$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>:
#
# "Marc Fleury" <marcfleury@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
# news:t3tkivsafgep2jg4rg7g0ct9tvcah5f00c@4ax.com...
# > Adam Marczyk wrote:
# >
# > >One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
# > >version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
# > >http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
# > >it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in. I
# > >feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any
# equivalent
# > >humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does anyone have any
# > >suggestions for some good ones?
# >
# > I'm not sure if it really fits your definition, but I like this joke
# > for its "There are no THEISTS in foxholes" angle:
# >
# >
# > A guy is driving like a maniac down an empty, winding, seaside
# > highway. He loses control of his car and goes over the edge, but he
# > jumps from his car on the way down, and amazingly, is able to grab on
# > to a root sticking out of the side of the cliff. There he is, dangling
# > from a root, some ten feet below the edge of the cliff. He begins to
# > yell "Oh please, God! Send someone to help me!"
# >
# > Just then, a loud voice comes from above the cliff's edge. "I can help
# > you!"
# >
# > "Oh thank god there someone there!" The man cries. "Hurry! I'm
# > starting to lose my grip!"
# >
# > "I am the Lord your God! And I can save you from your predicament! All
# > you need to do is trust in me, and let go of the root. I will catch
# > you."
# >
# > The man is silent for a few moments. Finally, he shouts "Can anyone
# > ELSE up there help me!?"
#
# In a similar vein..
#
# Jerry Falwell is driving along a mountain road when he sees two men with
# long hair beside the road and...deciding they must be homosexuals...swerves
# towards them. He misses and his car flies off the cliff. He manages to
# dive out at the last moment and grabs hold of a bush. His grip is slipping
# so he cries out, "Jesus...help me, my lord and savoir". Suddenly Jesus
# appears above him. "Jerry....you have served me faithfully for many
# years...you have spread my word and my love and have fought the good fight
# against those I find offensive in my eyes. I shall save you! Release the
# branch and my father in heaven shall pluck you from the sky and lower you
# gently to the ground" Jesus says.
# "Are you sure, my lord?" says Falwell.
# "Yes, my son...have faith in me!" says JC. So Falwell closes his eyes, says
# a prayer and releases the branch..
# ...and plummets to his death on the rocks below. Jesus looks down and says,
# "*****, I hate that *****!!"
George Bush, Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson die and go up to the
Pearly Gates to be judged. St. Peter makes them each stand in
front of a big door. Then a voice booms out, "George Bush, you
have led a sinful life, now this will be your punishment throughout
all eternity." Then Bush's door opens, an ugly old witch comes out,
grabs Shrub by the arm, and drags him off.
Then the voice booms, "Jerry Falwell, you have led a sinful life,
now this will be your punishment throughout all eternity." Then
Falwell's door opens, and a really hideously ugly old crone comes
out, grabs Falwell by the arm, and drags him off with an evil
cackle.
Now Robertson is left standing there by himself, wondering what's
in store for him, when he notices a keyhole in the door. He looks
through it and sees Britney Spears. Suddenly the voice booms out:
"Britney Spears, you have led a sinful life..."
--
Fear gan dia ### http://goddamliberal.blogspot.com
Director, EAC Division for Leaving the Toilet Seat up.
Dump the chimp! Re-elect a Democrat in '04.
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| User: "Walking on Glass" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
03 Aug 2003 04:46:07 AM |
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And it came to pass that "Adam Marczyk" <see@sig.com> did write in
alt.atheism, news:ICeWa.24139$Q86.2083@news02.roc.ny:
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never
heard it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists
thrown in. I feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't
know any equivalent humor from our side that I could hit him back
with. Does anyone have any suggestions for some good ones?
From http://www.secularism.org.uk/humour.htm
Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
A. No-one to talk to during orgasm.
An atheist was fishing in Loch Ness one day when he was suddenly attacked
by Nessie. The boat turned over and the man was tossed skywards. As he
saw himself heading for the monster's open jaws he cried out "Oh, God
help me." Immediately everything was frozen in place. The attack stopped
and the atheist was suspended in the air. Suddenly, a voice boomed down
from the clouds: "I thought you didn't believe in me." "Oh come on God,
have a heart," said the man. "I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster
two minutes ago, either."
Lots of other humour about specific religions as well.
--
Walking on Glass (remove NOSPAM to email me)
AA #2053 Zymurgist #12
"If you want to save your child from polio, you can pray or
you can inoculate...Try science"
Carl Sagan - "The Demon-Haunted World"
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| User: "Doug Semler" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
03 Aug 2003 02:19:45 PM |
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At some point in the past, duke32 <duke32@earthlink.net> posted this
drivel:
On Thu, 31 Jul 2003 20:03:52 GMT, "Adam Marczyk" <see@sig.com> wrote:
Here's one.
Atheist Holiday
Not pro-atheist. Sorry. Your statement is false.
'The fool says in his heart, 'There is no God.' " Psalm 53:1, Psalm
14:1.
I don't say anything in my heart :)
The word "fool" in these 2 (almost identical) psalms actually comes from the
word "nabal," which is a statement not about the intellectual abilities of a
person, but the moral terpitude of that person. The statement isn't calling
one who says "there is no god" a fool, but is saying that a person who lives
his life with poor morals (a "nabal") has ignored and or denied the
morality, and thus turned away from the teachings of the scriptures.
--
Doug Semler
http://home.wideopenwest.com/~doug_semler
a.a. #705, BAAWA. EAC Guardian of the Horn of the IPU (pbuhh).
I hate spam, standard email address munging applied.
42
DNRC o-
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| User: "Gregory A Greenman" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
04 Aug 2003 03:27:13 AM |
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In article <ICeWa.24139$Q86.2083@news02.roc.ny>,
see@sig.com says...
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in. I
feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any equivalent
humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does anyone have any
suggestions for some good ones?
-*-*-*-*-*-*-
A wealthy terminally ill man wanted to prove them all wrong
when they said "you can't take it with you". So he gathered
his doctor, his priest and his lawyer around him and he
gave them each a package with $1,000,000 in it. He then
instructed them to throw the packages into the grave with
him just as they start to throw dirt on his coffin.
Less than two weeks later the man was dead and buried. As
instructed, the doctor, lawyer and priest each threw their
package into the grave. After the funeral, the three met in
a bar.
After a few drinks, the doctor confessed that his practice
was having financial difficulties. He had been hit by
several malpractice lawsuits and needed money. So, he had
taken $100,000 out of the package. The priest told the
doctor not to feel too bad because his parish was being hit
by lawsuits too, so he withdrew $500,000 to help cover
their expenses. The lawyer told the other two that he was
ashamed of them stealing money from the dead. He had thrown
in a check for the full amount!
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
A priest and a rabbi were involved in a minor traffic
accident. They each got out of their cars and quickly
verified that no one was hurt.
The rabbi said: "Both of our cars have been totalled by
this accident, but neither of us suffered as much as a
scratch. This must be a sign from god that he wants us to
meet and peacefully live together as friends."
The priest said "I agree."
"Also, if you'll notice, this bottle of fine wine was in my
car, yet it too escaped unscathed. This must be a sign from
god that he wants us to toast our newfound friendship."
Again, the priest agreed.
The rabbi opened the bottle and handed it to the priest.
The priest took a swig and tried to hand the bottle back to
the rabbi, but the rabbi refused to take it.
"Aren't you going to drink to our new friendship?" asked
the priest.
"Nope, I'll just wait for the cops." replied the rabbi.
Greg the Reprobate
Missionary of Death
-------------------
greg -at- spencersoft -dot- com
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| User: "MarkA" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
01 Aug 2003 06:10:55 AM |
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On Thu, 31 Jul 2003 16:23:15 +0000, John Hattan wrote:
"Adam Marczyk" <see@sig.com> wrote:
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in. I
feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any
equivalent humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does
anyone have any suggestions for some good ones?
Q: A Hostess Twinkie is on a table in the center of a room. In the
four corners of the room are God, an atheist, the Easter Bunny, and
Santa Claus. Suddenly the lights go out. When the lights come back on,
the Twinkie is gone. Who ate it?
A: The atheist. There's no such thing as Santa Claus, there's no such
thing as the Easter Bunny, and there's no such thing as God.
---
John Hattan Grand High UberPope - First Church of Shatnerology
john@thecodezone.com http://www.shatnerology.com
John, he asked for a *good* pro-athiest joke... :)
--
MarkA
(still caught in the maze of twisty little passages, all different)
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| User: "MarkA" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
31 Jul 2003 04:31:53 PM |
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On Thu, 31 Jul 2003 20:03:52 +0000, Adam Marczyk wrote:
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in. I
feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any equivalent
humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does anyone have any
suggestions for some good ones?
Knock knock
Who's there?
Jesus.
Jesus who?
I agree. There's no such person.
--
MarkA
(still caught in the maze of twisty little passages, all different)
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| User: "raven1" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
01 Aug 2003 01:52:24 AM |
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On Thu, 31 Jul 2003 20:03:52 GMT, "Adam Marczyk" <see@sig.com> wrote:
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in. I
feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any equivalent
humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does anyone have any
suggestions for some good ones?
Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Your point was...?
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| User: "Ike Milligan" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
02 Aug 2003 07:53:39 AM |
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"raven1" <psychedelephant@flashmail.com> wrote in message
news:6h3kivol29k85428r7gv2tdrb98ihekk8i@4ax.com...
On Thu, 31 Jul 2003 20:03:52 GMT, "Adam Marczyk" <see@sig.com> wrote:
One of my parents' friends, who knows I'm an atheist, today sent me a
version of the old "atheist meets bear in the forest" (see
http://www.maitreg.com/south/humor/atheist_bear.asp if you've never heard
it) joke that has plenty of gratuitous insults to atheists thrown in. I
feel as if I should reply in kind, but offhand I don't know any
equivalent
humor from our side that I could hit him back with. Does anyone have any
suggestions for some good ones?
Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Your point was...?
A franciscan monk falls out of and airplane.
He prays to St Francis "St. Francis save me!"
A giant hand reaches out from the sky and a voice says "Which St. Francis?"
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| User: "Mark Nutter" |
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| Title: Re: Anyone know any good pro-atheist jokes? |
03 Aug 2003 04:09:24 PM |
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duke32 <duke32@earthlink.net> wrote in message news:<3siqivcje3h2ovdj8fbipaa2hc4u0ish32@4ax.com>...
...
The judge said, "Well, it comes every year at the same time - April
1st.
'The fool says in his heart, 'There is no God.' " Psalm 53:1, Psalm
14:1.
Wow, that's pretty funny! Here the judge is supposed to dispense
justice, and instead he hands out a load of smug, self-righteous, and
malevolent religious bigotry? That is *so* ironic. And true to life,
too! Gotta hand it to you, dude, you sure know how to zing the
religious intolerance of fundamentalist judges. Is this about Judge
Moore?
m
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