| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Messenger" |
| Date: |
22 Apr 2007 04:23:27 AM |
| Object: |
Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
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| User: "Elf M. Sternberg" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
22 Apr 2007 10:37:28 AM |
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Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Elf.
.
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
24 Apr 2007 08:51:00 AM |
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"Elf M. Sternberg" <elf@drizzle.com> wrote in message
news:87zm504dzb.fsf@drizzle.com...
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Classic! :)
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
BAAWA Knight!
#1557
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| User: "Doc Smartass" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
23 Apr 2007 08:24:13 PM |
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Elf M. Sternberg <elf@drizzle.com> wrote in
news:87zm504dzb.fsf@drizzle.com:
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
That's fuckin' beautiful, man. *snif*
--
Doc Smartass, BAAWA Knight of Heckling
aa # 1939
Help Prevent Projectile Stupidity
Duct-Tape a Fundie's Mouth Shut Today!
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| User: "Tokay Pino Gris" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
22 Apr 2007 04:38:32 PM |
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Elf M. Sternberg wrote:
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Elf.
Just added this to my random quote list.
Perfect!
Tokay
--
I have all the answers, it's just that most of them aren't right.
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| User: "DanielSan" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
22 Apr 2007 06:05:37 PM |
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Tokay Pino Gris wrote:
Elf M. Sternberg wrote:
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Elf.
Just added this to my random quote list.
Perfect!
I agree.
Elf, may I be so bold as to use that as my new signature quote?
--
******************************************************
* DanielSan -- alt.atheism #2226 *
*----------------------------------------------------*
* "In every country and every age, the priest had *
* been hostile to Liberty." --Thomas Jefferson *
******************************************************
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| User: "John Popelish" |
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| Title: A.A. AQOTM nomination was:Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
22 Apr 2007 12:30:03 PM |
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Elf M. Sternberg wrote:
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Elf.
Though we have seen somewhat similar summaries before, this
one is so concise and biting that I would like to see it
added to the quote archive for future reference. It would
also make a nice card to be handed to knocking missionaries.
Will anyone second?
.
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| User: "Elf M. Sternberg" |
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| Title: Re: A.A. AQOTM nomination was:Re: Believe in Jesus to get to theheaven |
22 Apr 2007 04:49:48 PM |
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John Popelish <jpopelish@rica.net> writes:
Elf M. Sternberg wrote:
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Please withdraw. It's not original to me. I found it on the
web a long time ago. If anyone can find a source to cite, I'd be much
appreciative.
Elf
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: A.A. AQOTM nomination was:Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
24 Apr 2007 08:51:52 AM |
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"Elf M. Sternberg" <elf@drizzle.com> wrote in message
news:87r6qc3wqr.fsf@drizzle.com...
John Popelish <jpopelish@rica.net> writes:
Elf M. Sternberg wrote:
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Please withdraw. It's not original to me. I found it on the
web a long time ago. If anyone can find a source to cite, I'd be much
appreciative.
Phooey!
It is great, though :)
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
BAAWA Knight!
#1557
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| User: "DanielSan" |
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| Title: Re: A.A. AQOTM nomination was:Re: Believe in Jesus to get to theheaven |
22 Apr 2007 09:09:21 PM |
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Elf M. Sternberg wrote:
John Popelish <jpopelish@rica.net> writes:
Elf M. Sternberg wrote:
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Please withdraw. It's not original to me. I found it on the
web a long time ago. If anyone can find a source to cite, I'd be much
appreciative.
I'm not sure where it comes from originally, but I found a couple places
that repeat the above. See http://tinyurl.com/26rwy8
--
******************************************************
* DanielSan -- alt.atheism #2226 *
*----------------------------------------------------*
* "In every country and every age, the priest had *
* been hostile to Liberty." --Thomas Jefferson *
******************************************************
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| User: "Elf M. Sternberg" |
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| Title: Re: A.A. AQOTM nomination was:Re: Believe in Jesus to get to theheaven |
22 Apr 2007 10:00:40 PM |
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DanielSan <daniel-san@myrealbox.com> writes:
http://tinyurl.com/26rwy8
Dude, the photo that comes off there is disturbing. Is that from the
Gibson flick? Do Christians really get off contemplating that kind of
freakiness?
Elf
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| User: "DanielSan" |
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| Title: Re: A.A. AQOTM nomination was:Re: Believe in Jesus to get to theheaven |
22 Apr 2007 11:04:31 PM |
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Elf M. Sternberg wrote:
DanielSan <daniel-san@myrealbox.com> writes:
http://tinyurl.com/26rwy8
Dude, the photo that comes off there is disturbing. Is that from the
Gibson flick? Do Christians really get off contemplating that kind of
freakiness?
Which photo is that? I went through the links and I couldn't find it.
--
*******************************************************
* DanielSan -- alt.atheism #2226 *
*-----------------------------------------------------*
* Christianity: A belief in a cosmic Jewish zombie *
* who was his own father will let you live forever *
* if you pretend to eat his flesh, drink his blood, *
* and telepathically tell him that you accept him as *
* your master, so he can remove an evil force from *
* your soul that he put there a long time ago as pun- *
* ishment for all humanity because a rib-woman made *
* from a dust-man was convinced by a talking snake *
* to eat fruit from a magical tree. *
*******************************************************
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| User: "John Popelish" |
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| Title: Re: A.A. AQOTM nomination was:Re: Believe in Jesus to get to theheaven |
22 Apr 2007 10:17:38 PM |
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Elf M. Sternberg wrote:
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Please withdraw. It's not original to me. I found it on the
web a long time ago. If anyone can find a source to cite, I'd be much
appreciative.
Oh well. I'm still going to print it on some cards and put
then in the box by the door, to hand out to missionaries who
knock. I'll ask them to put it in their pocket and read it
after they leave. Then we can talk.
.
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| User: "Elocutus" |
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| Title: Re: A.A. AQOTM nomination was:Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
23 Apr 2007 04:30:50 AM |
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John Popelish <jpopelish@rica.net> popped their head through the hatch and
pleaded:
Elf M. Sternberg wrote:
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Please withdraw. It's not original to me. I found it on the
web a long time ago. If anyone can find a source to cite, I'd be much
appreciative.
Oh well. I'm still going to print it on some cards and put
then in the box by the door, to hand out to missionaries who
knock. I'll ask them to put it in their pocket and read it
after they leave. Then we can talk.
go to http://www.muvy.org and look for the link "Christianity: it makes so
much sense now"
Thanks and praise to Useful Info for drawing this to my attention.
See
--
David Silverman AA#2208
To err is human, humans wrote the Bible, so guess what...
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| User: "Kate " |
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| Title: Re: A.A. AQOTM nomination was:Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
22 Apr 2007 01:33:07 PM |
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On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 13:30:03 -0400, John Popelish <jpopelish@rica.net>
wrote:
Elf M. Sternberg wrote:
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Elf.
Though we have seen somewhat similar summaries before, this
one is so concise and biting that I would like to see it
added to the quote archive for future reference. It would
also make a nice card to be handed to knocking missionaries.
Will anyone second?
seconded
.
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| User: "Douglas Berry" |
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| Title: AQOTM Nomination (Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven) |
22 Apr 2007 05:58:02 PM |
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On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 08:37:28 -0700 there was an Ancient Elf M.
Sternberg <elf@drizzle.com> who stoppeth one in alt.atheism
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
*Warning, the nominated portion is about to open. The white zone is
for loading and unloading only.*
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
*Warning, the nominated portion is closing. The red zone is for
loading and unloading only.*
Seconds?
--
Douglas Berry Do the OBVIOUS thing to send e-mail
Atheist #2147, Atheist Vet #5
Jason Gastrich is praying for me on 8 January 2011
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the
source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a
stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as
good as dead: his eyes are closed." - Albert Einstein
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: AQOTM Nomination (Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven) |
22 Apr 2007 06:30:04 PM |
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On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 22:58:02 GMT, Douglas Berry
<penguin_boy@mindOBVIOUSspring.com> wrote:
On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 08:37:28 -0700 there was an Ancient Elf M.
Sternberg <elf@drizzle.com> who stoppeth one in alt.atheism
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
*Warning, the nominated portion is about to open. The white zone is
for loading and unloading only.*
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
*Warning, the nominated portion is closing. The red zone is for
loading and unloading only.*
I thought the white zone was for loading and unloading only...aw
fookit..."Mr Douglas you have a call on the plaid phone."
Seconds?
OK Nemo...if I may so bold...we may have to declare this one
seconded...and possibly QOTM...since it's been nominated at least
thrice! But I'll second...again!
--
I swear...there are days that I get down on my knees and thank almighty god that I'm an atheist!
zamboni #2139
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
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| Title: Re: AQOTM Nomination (Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven) |
22 Apr 2007 10:24:06 PM |
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One fine day in alt.atheism, bloodied
us up with this:
On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 22:58:02 GMT, Douglas Berry
<penguin_boy@mindOBVIOUSspring.com> wrote:
On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 08:37:28 -0700 there was an Ancient Elf M.
Sternberg <elf@drizzle.com> who stoppeth one in alt.atheism
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
*Warning, the nominated portion is about to open. The white zone is
for loading and unloading only.*
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
*Warning, the nominated portion is closing. The red zone is for
loading and unloading only.*
I thought the white zone was for loading and unloading only...aw
fookit..."Mr Douglas you have a call on the plaid phone."
Seconds?
OK Nemo...if I may so bold...we may have to declare this one
seconded...and possibly QOTM...since it's been nominated at least
thrice! But I'll second...again!
Well, regardless of whether it's original or not, it's wonderful.
--
Uncle Vic
aa Atheist #2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department.
Convicted by Earthquack. Plonked by Fester.
Member Duke Spanking Club.
.
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| User: "Elocutus" |
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| Title: Re: AQOTM Nomination (Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven) |
23 Apr 2007 04:34:56 AM |
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Uncle Vic <address@withheld.com> popped their head through the hatch and
pleaded:
One fine day in alt.atheism, bloodied
us up with this:
On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 22:58:02 GMT, Douglas Berry
<penguin_boy@mindOBVIOUSspring.com> wrote:
On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 08:37:28 -0700 there was an Ancient Elf M.
Sternberg <elf@drizzle.com> who stoppeth one in alt.atheism
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
*Warning, the nominated portion is about to open. The white zone is
for loading and unloading only.*
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
*Warning, the nominated portion is closing. The red zone is for
loading and unloading only.*
I thought the white zone was for loading and unloading only...aw
fookit..."Mr Douglas you have a call on the plaid phone."
Seconds?
OK Nemo...if I may so bold...we may have to declare this one
seconded...and possibly QOTM...since it's been nominated at least
thrice! But I'll second...again!
Well, regardless of whether it's original or not, it's wonderful.
See this picture:
http://preview.tinyurl.com/39c4c4
Somebody posted a tortuous link to it the other day.
--
David Silverman AA#2208
This is a signature
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: AQOTM Nomination (Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven) |
24 Apr 2007 08:53:54 AM |
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"Elocutus" <nospam@borg.org> wrote in message
news:l0jjgg9b7olx.1ilo45awyz8b0.dlg@40tude.net...
Uncle Vic <address@withheld.com> popped their head through the hatch and
pleaded:
One fine day in alt.atheism, bloodied
us up with this:
On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 22:58:02 GMT, Douglas Berry
<penguin_boy@mindOBVIOUSspring.com> wrote:
On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 08:37:28 -0700 there was an Ancient Elf M.
Sternberg <elf@drizzle.com> who stoppeth one in alt.atheism
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
*Warning, the nominated portion is about to open. The white zone is
for loading and unloading only.*
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
*Warning, the nominated portion is closing. The red zone is for
loading and unloading only.*
I thought the white zone was for loading and unloading only...aw
fookit..."Mr Douglas you have a call on the plaid phone."
Seconds?
OK Nemo...if I may so bold...we may have to declare this one
seconded...and possibly QOTM...since it's been nominated at least
thrice! But I'll second...again!
Well, regardless of whether it's original or not, it's wonderful.
See this picture:
http://preview.tinyurl.com/39c4c4
Somebody posted a tortuous link to it the other day.
Gak! What a lovely picture! :P
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
BAAWA Knight!
#1557
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| User: "Michael Gray" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
22 Apr 2007 04:11:14 PM |
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On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 08:37:28 -0700, Elf M. Sternberg <elf@drizzle.com>
wrote:
- Refer: <87zm504dzb.fsf@drizzle.com>
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Elf.
You've got me sold!
Where do I get one?
--
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| User: "Barry OGrady" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
06 May 2007 10:22:44 PM |
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On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 08:37:28 -0700, Elf M. Sternberg <elf@drizzle.com> wrote:
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
You do understand.
Yeah. Right.
You lack the required naivety.
Elf.
Barry
=====
Home page
http://members.iinet.net.au/~barry.og
I do not represent atheists or atheism
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
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| Title: AQOTM NOMINATION (Was Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven) |
22 Apr 2007 11:30:37 AM |
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One fine day in alt.atheism, Elf M. Sternberg <elf@drizzle.com> bloodied us
up with this:
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Nominated portion
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Seconds?
--
Uncle Vic
aa Atheist #2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department.
Convicted by Earthquack. Plonked by Fester.
Member Duke Spanking Club.
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| User: "DanielSan" |
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| Title: Re: AQOTM NOMINATION (Was Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven) |
22 Apr 2007 03:04:42 PM |
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Uncle Vic wrote:
One fine day in alt.atheism, Elf M. Sternberg <elf@drizzle.com> bloodied us
up with this:
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Nominated portion
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Seconds?
Seconded!
--
******************************************************
* DanielSan -- alt.atheism #2226 *
*----------------------------------------------------*
* "In every country and every age, the priest had *
* been hostile to Liberty." --Thomas Jefferson *
******************************************************
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| User: "John Popelish" |
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| Title: Re: AQOTM NOMINATION (Was Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven) |
22 Apr 2007 12:30:41 PM |
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Uncle Vic wrote:
One fine day in alt.atheism, Elf M. Sternberg <elf@drizzle.com> bloodied us
up with this:
Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Nominated portion
Let me get this straight: You believe that a cosmic Jewish
zombie who was his own father will let you live forever if you pretend
to eat his flesh, drink his blood, and telepathically tell him that
you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from
your soul that he put there a long time ago as punishment for all
humanity because a rib-woman made from a dust-man was convinced by a
talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree.
Yeah. Right.
Seconds?
Yes. I didn't see your nomination before I did the same thing.
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| User: "The Chief Instigator" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
22 Apr 2007 10:37:41 AM |
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Messenger <elerium@37.com> writes:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
Fortunately, I can find eastern Kentucky on my own.
--
Patrick "The Chief Instigator" Humphrey (patrick@io.com) Houston, Texas
chiefinstigator.us.tt/aeros.php (TCI's 2006-07 Houston Aeros) AA#2273
LAST GAME: San Antonio 4, Houston 2 (April 15)
NEXT GAME: October 2007, date/place/opponent TBA
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| User: "DanielSan" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
22 Apr 2007 05:32:36 AM |
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Messenger wrote:
God is inviting you to the paradise.
I've seen no such invitation.
He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
No thanks. I'd rather get into Valhalla. The food is better there.
--
******************************************************
* DanielSan -- alt.atheism #2226 *
*----------------------------------------------------*
* "In every country and every age, the priest had *
* been hostile to Liberty." --Thomas Jefferson *
******************************************************
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| User: "Llanzlan Klazmon the 15th" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
22 Apr 2007 05:36:18 PM |
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DanielSan <daniel-san@myrealbox.com> wrote in
news:uc2dnZISzZw5trbbnZ2dnUVZ_gadnZ2d@comcast.com:
Messenger wrote:
God is inviting you to the paradise.
I've seen no such invitation.
He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
No thanks. I'd rather get into Valhalla. The food is better there.
Don't forget Valhalla has Brunhilde too!
Klazmon.
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| User: "Tokay Pino Gris" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
22 Apr 2007 05:56:52 PM |
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DanielSan wrote:
Messenger wrote:
He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
No thanks. I'd rather get into Valhalla. The food is better there.
Count me in. If i was forced to choose a religion, that would be a nice
one (I could explain why I think so, but well...some other time). Also,
Valhalla is way better than anything else....
Tokay
--
I have all the answers, it's just that most of them aren't right.
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| User: "Michael Gray" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
22 Apr 2007 04:50:29 AM |
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On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 02:32:36 -0800, DanielSan
<daniel-san@myrealbox.com> wrote:
- Refer: <uc2dnZISzZw5trbbnZ2dnUVZ_gadnZ2d@comcast.com>
Messenger wrote:
God is inviting you to the paradise.
I've seen no such invitation.
He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
No thanks. I'd rather get into Valhalla. The food is better there.
So, it *is* Frigg!!
--
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| User: "Kelsey Bjarnason" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
23 Apr 2007 06:00:48 PM |
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On Sun, 22 Apr 2007 02:32:36 -0800, DanielSan wrote:
Messenger wrote:
God is inviting you to the paradise.
I've seen no such invitation.
He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death. Believe in
Jesus, confess your sins to Him and take Him as your saviour. Your
life will turn into good direction if you do so. Try and you won't
regret never. Jesus is the only gate to the heaven.
No thanks. I'd rather get into Valhalla. The food is better there.
Better food, free-flowing beer, hot and cold running valkyries... the
other guys get what? Playing harps and singing at Big Daddy's feet? Bah.
I know which way I want to go.
--
Do not contact me at
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| User: "John Popelish" |
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| Title: Re: Believe in Jesus to get to the heaven |
22 Apr 2007 12:25:20 PM |
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Messenger wrote:
God is inviting you to the paradise. He wants that the one who
believes in His only son, Jesus, would have eternal life. Jesus died
for our sins so that we could live forever after death.
(snip)
And do what?
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