| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Ernest Slyman" |
| Date: |
04 Jun 2006 11:34:33 AM |
| Object: |
Bible Floats In The Air |
"When I was a kid," Teddy Poole says, "I didn't think anything magical about
it. My Bible would follow me around. I just took it for granted. It happened
all the time. I'd seen other Bibles following other people around."
"Yes, I know it's a mystery. It can't be explained. Some say it's owing to
the air in the Bible Belt, and intense faith and prayer, the Bible
levitates. It becomes lighter than air. Floats upward, if you don't have a
good hold on it. But truth is we ain't sure why it happens. We just know it
does. In the Bible Belt, the good book has a mind of its own."
"You can't put a Bible up in a drawer or set it on a shelf. It don't like
that. It wants to be opened and read. The Bible likes being touched. Them
pages opened up and the eye rolling down and up. The Bible warm to the touch
when it's being read. And it gives off a lovely light. You open a Bible in
the dark and you can see all around. It's a good sixty watts of
fluorescence, you know. Better than any flashlight." (more at link below,
"Flying Bibles."
--
The Evangelical Spectator
http://evangelicalspectator.typepad.com/
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| User: "kathryn" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
04 Jun 2006 01:01:35 PM |
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"You can't put a Bible up in a drawer or set it on a shelf. It don't like
that. It wants to be opened and read. The Bible likes being touched. Them
pages opened up and the eye rolling down and up. The Bible warm to the
touch when it's being read. And it gives off a lovely light. You open a
Bible in the dark and you can see all around. It's a good sixty watts of
fluorescence, you know. Better than any flashlight." (more at link below,
"Flying Bibles."
We have on that's in the shed, it hasn't moved from the shet. If you can
read in the dark well done on the carrot eating!
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| User: "Thurisaz, Germanic barbarian" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
04 Jun 2006 11:34:01 PM |
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Ah, the strange powers of those funny pills... ;)
--
"To his friend a man a friend shall prove, and gifts with gifts requite;
But men shall mocking with mockery answer, and fraud with falsehood meet."
(The Poetic Edda)
Must have been written with fundies in mind...
My personal judgment of monotheism:
http://www.carcosa.de/nojebus
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| User: "bob young" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
05 Jun 2006 07:51:10 AM |
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Ernest Slyman wrote:
"When I was a kid," Teddy Poole says, "I didn't think anything magical about
it. My Bible would follow me around. I just took it for granted. It happened
all the time. I'd seen other Bibles following other people around."
"Yes, I know it's a mystery. It can't be explained. Some say it's owing to
the air in the Bible Belt, and intense faith and prayer, the Bible
levitates. It becomes lighter than air. Floats upward, if you don't have a
good hold on it. But truth is we ain't sure why it happens. We just know it
does. In the Bible Belt, the good book has a mind of its own."
"You can't put a Bible up in a drawer or set it on a shelf. It don't like
that. It wants to be opened and read. The Bible likes being touched. Them
pages opened up and the eye rolling down and up. The Bible warm to the touch
when it's being read. And it gives off a lovely light. You open a Bible in
the dark and you can see all around. It's a good sixty watts of
fluorescence, you know. Better than any flashlight." (more at link below,
"Flying Bibles."
That makes zero sense.
I can hear my mother now "And pigs might fly"
GROAN
--
The Evangelical Spectator
http://evangelicalspectator.typepad.com/
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| User: "Wunderkind" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
05 Jun 2006 07:09:26 PM |
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Ernest Slyman wrote:
"When I was a kid," Teddy Poole says, "I didn't think anything magical about
it. My Bible would follow me around. I just took it for granted. It happened
all the time. I'd seen other Bibles following other people around."
"Yes, I know it's a mystery. It can't be explained. Some say it's owing to
the air in the Bible Belt, and intense faith and prayer, the Bible
levitates. It becomes lighter than air. Floats upward, if you don't have a
good hold on it. But truth is we ain't sure why it happens. We just know it
does. In the Bible Belt, the good book has a mind of its own."
"You can't put a Bible up in a drawer or set it on a shelf. It don't like
that. It wants to be opened and read. The Bible likes being touched. Them
pages opened up and the eye rolling down and up. The Bible warm to the touch
when it's being read. And it gives off a lovely light. You open a Bible in
the dark and you can see all around. It's a good sixty watts of
fluorescence, you know. Better than any flashlight." (more at link below,
"Flying Bibles."
I saw thousands upon thousands drowning themselves in the nearest raw
sewage vat! The ***** tried to get away, but the bibles kept on piling
into the waste.
WK
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| User: "Godzilla Pimp" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
08 Jun 2006 09:14:25 AM |
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Jews:
Forget that old ***** we told you 2,000 years ago. Believe the new ***** we
are telling you now.
GP
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
05 Jun 2006 06:10:15 PM |
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On Sun, 04 Jun 2006 16:34:33 GMT, "Ernest Slyman"
<interesting122000@yahoo.com> wrote:
"When I was a kid," Teddy Poole says, "I didn't think anything magical about
it. My Bible would follow me around. I just took it for granted. It happened
all the time. I'd seen other Bibles following other people around."
"Yes, I know it's a mystery. It can't be explained. Some say it's owing to
the air in the Bible Belt, and intense faith and prayer, the Bible
levitates. It becomes lighter than air. Floats upward, if you don't have a
good hold on it. But truth is we ain't sure why it happens. We just know it
does. In the Bible Belt, the good book has a mind of its own."
"You can't put a Bible up in a drawer or set it on a shelf. It don't like
that. It wants to be opened and read. The Bible likes being touched. Them
pages opened up and the eye rolling down and up. The Bible warm to the touch
when it's being read. And it gives off a lovely light. You open a Bible in
the dark and you can see all around. It's a good sixty watts of
fluorescence, you know. Better than any flashlight." (more at link below,
"Flying Bibles."
What do you have to drink, snort, swallow, smoke or shoot up to see
flying bibles? I'm still trying for pink elephants from tequila.
Sunyata
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| User: "Cary Kittrell" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
05 Jun 2006 06:14:50 PM |
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In article <99e982tvpa3hdqfflqc1ns77cettjujtrl@4ax.com> writes:
On Sun, 04 Jun 2006 16:34:33 GMT, "Ernest Slyman"
<interesting122000@yahoo.com> wrote:
"When I was a kid," Teddy Poole says, "I didn't think anything magical about
it. My Bible would follow me around. I just took it for granted. It happened
all the time. I'd seen other Bibles following other people around."
"Yes, I know it's a mystery. It can't be explained. Some say it's owing to
the air in the Bible Belt, and intense faith and prayer, the Bible
levitates. It becomes lighter than air. Floats upward, if you don't have a
good hold on it. But truth is we ain't sure why it happens. We just know it
does. In the Bible Belt, the good book has a mind of its own."
"You can't put a Bible up in a drawer or set it on a shelf. It don't like
that. It wants to be opened and read. The Bible likes being touched. Them
pages opened up and the eye rolling down and up. The Bible warm to the touch
when it's being read. And it gives off a lovely light. You open a Bible in
the dark and you can see all around. It's a good sixty watts of
fluorescence, you know. Better than any flashlight." (more at link below,
"Flying Bibles."
What do you have to drink, snort, swallow, smoke or shoot up to see
flying bibles? I'm still trying for pink elephants from tequila.
Sunyata
Um...this was parody?... Check the site.
-- cary
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
06 Jun 2006 04:35:26 PM |
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On Mon, 5 Jun 2006 23:14:50 +0000 (UTC),
(Cary Kittrell) wrote:
In article <99e982tvpa3hdqfflqc1ns77cettjujtrl@4ax.com> writes:
On Sun, 04 Jun 2006 16:34:33 GMT, "Ernest Slyman"
<interesting122000@yahoo.com> wrote:
"When I was a kid," Teddy Poole says, "I didn't think anything magical about
it. My Bible would follow me around. I just took it for granted. It happened
all the time. I'd seen other Bibles following other people around."
"Yes, I know it's a mystery. It can't be explained. Some say it's owing to
the air in the Bible Belt, and intense faith and prayer, the Bible
levitates. It becomes lighter than air. Floats upward, if you don't have a
good hold on it. But truth is we ain't sure why it happens. We just know it
does. In the Bible Belt, the good book has a mind of its own."
"You can't put a Bible up in a drawer or set it on a shelf. It don't like
that. It wants to be opened and read. The Bible likes being touched. Them
pages opened up and the eye rolling down and up. The Bible warm to the touch
when it's being read. And it gives off a lovely light. You open a Bible in
the dark and you can see all around. It's a good sixty watts of
fluorescence, you know. Better than any flashlight." (more at link below,
"Flying Bibles."
What do you have to drink, snort, swallow, smoke or shoot up to see
flying bibles? I'm still trying for pink elephants from tequila.
Sunyata
Um...this was parody?... Check the site.
-- cary
didn't see the URL.....drat
Sunyata
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| User: "Jos Flachs" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
05 Jun 2006 06:08:12 AM |
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On Sun, 04 Jun 2006 16:34:33 GMT, "Ernest Slyman"
<interesting122000@yahoo.com> wrote:
"Yes, I know it's a mystery. It can't be explained. Some say it's owing to
the air in the Bible Belt, and intense faith and prayer, the Bible
levitates. It becomes lighter than air. Floats upward, if you don't have a
good hold on it. But truth is we ain't sure why it happens. We just know it
does. In the Bible Belt, the good book has a mind of its own."
My bible hangs out in the outhouse and forces it pages to wipe my
crack after I've taken a dump. Another bible I've got loves to balance
a table.
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| User: "Uncle Clover" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
05 Jun 2006 09:02:31 AM |
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On Mon, 05 Jun 2006 18:08:12 +0700, Jos Flachs <xwcruise@ksc15.th.com> wrote:
On Sun, 04 Jun 2006 16:34:33 GMT, "Ernest Slyman"
<interesting122000@yahoo.com> wrote:
"Yes, I know it's a mystery. It can't be explained. Some say it's owing to
the air in the Bible Belt, and intense faith and prayer, the Bible
levitates. It becomes lighter than air. Floats upward, if you don't have a
good hold on it. But truth is we ain't sure why it happens. We just know it
does. In the Bible Belt, the good book has a mind of its own."
My bible hangs out in the outhouse and forces it pages to wipe my
crack after I've taken a dump. Another bible I've got loves to balance
a table.
My Bible is trying to accrete into its own planet - it's collecting dust.
--
L8r,
Uncle Clover
************************************************
The true mark of a civilized society is when its
citizens know how to hate each other peacefully.
************************************************
"A disappearance is when someone has vanished.
A tragedy is when they were photogenic."
- a.t-c's Bo Raxo, paraphrased.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If you look at the whole life of the planet,
man has only been around for a few blinks of an
eye. So if the infection wipes us all out,
that _is_ a return to normality..."
- Sergeant Farrell, "28 Days Later"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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| User: "Uncle Vic" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
04 Jun 2006 03:07:12 PM |
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Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Ernest Slyman
(interesting122000@yahoo.com) made the light shine upon us with this:
"When I was a kid," Teddy Poole says, "I didn't think anything magical
about it. My Bible would follow me around. I just took it for granted.
It happened all the time. I'd seen other Bibles following other people
around."
"Yes, I know it's a mystery. It can't be explained. Some say it's
owing to the air in the Bible Belt, and intense faith and prayer, the
Bible levitates. It becomes lighter than air. Floats upward, if you
don't have a good hold on it. But truth is we ain't sure why it
happens. We just know it does. In the Bible Belt, the good book has a
mind of its own."
"You can't put a Bible up in a drawer or set it on a shelf. It don't
like that. It wants to be opened and read. The Bible likes being
touched. Them pages opened up and the eye rolling down and up. The
Bible warm to the touch when it's being read. And it gives off a
lovely light. You open a Bible in the dark and you can see all around.
It's a good sixty watts of fluorescence, you know. Better than any
flashlight." (more at link below, "Flying Bibles."
Mine drags itself out to the back yard and buries itself. It killed my
lawn! That bible definitely doesn't want to be read.
--
Uncle Vic
aa Atheist #2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
The laws that require me to NOT kill people I don't like REALLY bug
me, or there would be many less of YOUR kind.
-John Weatherly
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| User: "skyeyes" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
04 Jun 2006 03:14:24 PM |
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Uncle Vic wrote:
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Ernest Slyman
(interesting122000@yahoo.com) made the light shine upon us with this:
"When I was a kid," Teddy Poole says, "I didn't think anything magical
about it. My Bible would follow me around. I just took it for granted.
It happened all the time. I'd seen other Bibles following other people
around."
"Yes, I know it's a mystery. It can't be explained. Some say it's
owing to the air in the Bible Belt, and intense faith and prayer, the
Bible levitates. It becomes lighter than air. Floats upward, if you
don't have a good hold on it. But truth is we ain't sure why it
happens. We just know it does. In the Bible Belt, the good book has a
mind of its own."
"You can't put a Bible up in a drawer or set it on a shelf. It don't
like that. It wants to be opened and read. The Bible likes being
touched. Them pages opened up and the eye rolling down and up. The
Bible warm to the touch when it's being read. And it gives off a
lovely light. You open a Bible in the dark and you can see all around.
It's a good sixty watts of fluorescence, you know. Better than any
flashlight." (more at link below, "Flying Bibles."
Mine drags itself out to the back yard and buries itself. It killed my
lawn! That bible definitely doesn't want to be read.
Mine forced itself into my dog's mouth and made her eat it.
Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
EAC Professor of Feline Thermometrics and Cat-Herding
skyeyes at dakotacom dot net
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| User: "David" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
04 Jun 2006 08:06:21 PM |
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On 4 Jun 2006 13:14:24 -0700, "skyeyes" <skyeyes@dakotacom.net> typed
furiously:
Uncle Vic wrote:
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Ernest Slyman
(interesting122000@yahoo.com) made the light shine upon us with this:
"When I was a kid," Teddy Poole says, "I didn't think anything magical
about it. My Bible would follow me around. I just took it for granted.
It happened all the time. I'd seen other Bibles following other people
around."
"Yes, I know it's a mystery. It can't be explained. Some say it's
owing to the air in the Bible Belt, and intense faith and prayer, the
Bible levitates. It becomes lighter than air. Floats upward, if you
don't have a good hold on it. But truth is we ain't sure why it
happens. We just know it does. In the Bible Belt, the good book has a
mind of its own."
"You can't put a Bible up in a drawer or set it on a shelf. It don't
like that. It wants to be opened and read. The Bible likes being
touched. Them pages opened up and the eye rolling down and up. The
Bible warm to the touch when it's being read. And it gives off a
lovely light. You open a Bible in the dark and you can see all around.
It's a good sixty watts of fluorescence, you know. Better than any
flashlight." (more at link below, "Flying Bibles."
Mine drags itself out to the back yard and buries itself. It killed my
lawn! That bible definitely doesn't want to be read.
Mine forced itself into my dog's mouth and made her eat it.
Why were you using a Bible as homework?
--
David
At the bottom of the application where it says
"sign here". I put "Sagittarius"
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| User: "Mike Painter" |
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| Title: Re: Bible Floats In The Air |
04 Jun 2006 08:05:32 PM |
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skyeyes wrote:
Uncle Vic wrote:
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet Ernest Slyman
(interesting122000@yahoo.com) made the light shine upon us with this:
"When I was a kid," Teddy Poole says, "I didn't think anything
magical about it. My Bible would follow me around. I just took it
for granted. It happened all the time. I'd seen other Bibles
following other people around."
"Yes, I know it's a mystery. It can't be explained. Some say it's
owing to the air in the Bible Belt, and intense faith and prayer,
the Bible levitates. It becomes lighter than air. Floats upward, if
you don't have a good hold on it. But truth is we ain't sure why it
happens. We just know it does. In the Bible Belt, the good book has
a mind of its own."
"You can't put a Bible up in a drawer or set it on a shelf. It don't
like that. It wants to be opened and read. The Bible likes being
touched. Them pages opened up and the eye rolling down and up. The
Bible warm to the touch when it's being read. And it gives off a
lovely light. You open a Bible in the dark and you can see all
around. It's a good sixty watts of fluorescence, you know. Better
than any flashlight." (more at link below, "Flying Bibles."
Mine drags itself out to the back yard and buries itself. It killed
my lawn! That bible definitely doesn't want to be read.
Mine forced itself into my dog's mouth and made her eat it.
Mine continues to move farther into a corner and shrink as I add science
books to the shelf.
When I add books that examine it as any other book would be examined it just
wimpers and asks for the bagpipes.
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