http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,21259716-12274,00.html


Bow before a divine boo-boo and honour gift of the gaffe

* THE WRY SIDE
Emma Tom
* February 21, 2007

TO err is human. To do it while breaking out of prison, robbing a bank
or trying to guard a collection of antique children's toys with a teddy
bear-obsessed doberman is divine.
Stuffing up continues to be one of the few human headaches technology
just can't eliminate. Sure, we can reduce some of the wreckage by
employing smoke alarms, anti-lock braking systems and those virtual
pilots that keep aircraft aloft when plane drivers accidentally lock
themselves out of cockpits during toilet breaks (more on this later).

But it's testimony to the joyous chaos and wonderful imperfection of
human nature that a certain number of outlandish screw-ups are
inevitable.

Here, then, are a few of the best "Oh, bugger" moments that have
occurred around the world in recent times.

Medicine

* London, 2003: A cocky cosmetic surgeon is struck off the medical
register after shortening a patient's penis during what is supposed to
be an enlargement procedure. (Insert Homer Simpson-esque "d'oh" here.)

Drugs

* England, 2000: Thieves break into a house and try to snort a pot of
powder they find on a mantelpiece because it looks like cocaine.
Unfortunately the stash turns out to be the cremated remains of the
owner's newfoundland dog, Charlie, whose ability to promote excited,
self-centred soliloquies at celebrity parties turns out to be decidedly
minimal.

* Germany, 2006: A 52-year-old marijuana connoisseur tries in vain to
get a refund for $645 worth of crappy pot he buys from his dealer before
turning to the police for help. He is charged with drug offences after
telling officers that his purchase is unsmokable.

Crime

* Brazil, 2005: A gang of 67 prisoners spends months planning a
break-out and digging anescape tunnel only to emerge in the prisonyard,
where they are greeted by giggling guards.

* Austria, 2006: A man pockets a bunch of jewellery from a house before
making the all-too-common mistake of drinking a bottle of vodka and
taking a nap on one of the beds. The homeowner returns to find this
Goldilocks fan still snoring and calls the cops.

* Japan, 2006: A Japanese bank robber asks tellers for advice on how
best to proceed with his hold-up before meekly obeying a request to
leave and accidentally stabbing himself in the leg with his knife during
his nervous exit.

Culture

* England, 2006: A visitor to the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge trips
down some stairs and destroys a set of priceless 300-year-old Chinese
vases on a window sill. He spends a long time yelling at his shoelaces.

* Cyberspace, 2006: The Movie Mistakes website finds nearly 300 errors
in The Return of the King, the final instalment in The Lord of the Rings
trilogy. Among other continuity issues, eagle-eyed fans report that a
scar on Frodo's face changes size and position and temporarily relocates
from his right cheek to his left on the slopes of Mount Doom.

Animals

* England, 2006: A lively doberman pinscher called Barney shreds 100
stuffed bears - including a $113,000 teddy that belonged to Elvis -
while helping guard a children's museum. Barney is relieved of his
duties and now spends his time chicken guarding (also known as chicken
chasing) on a farm.

Aviation

* The US, 2004: A National Guard fighter jet accidentally strafes the
roof of a primary school near Atlantic City with gunfire. The
embarrassed dude up in the pointy bit says he meant to shoot at a target
in a military reservation near Washington.

* Canada, 2006: A pilot who needs to relieve himself mid-flight finds
himself locked out of the cockpit while 50 horrified passengers watch
on. After banging on the door for a while, he asks the crew to help him
wrench the recalcitrant hatch off its hinges before returning to his
allocated seat for landing.

Religion

* Scotland, 2006: A vicar forgets to disconnect his microphone during a
mid-service loo break. After being heralded with a series of booms,
splashes, groans and echoes, one of the parishioners confesses to
letting out a wee laugh. Clearly this forgiving soul knew that, despite
our best intentions, s--- really will continue to happen.

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,21259716-12274,00.html
Bow before a divine boo-boo and honour gift of the gaffe
* THE WRY SIDE
Emma Tom
* February 21, 2007
TO err is human. To do it while breaking out of prison, robbing a bank
or trying to guard a collection of antique children's toys with a teddy
bear-obsessed doberman is divine.
Stuffing up continues to be one of the few human headaches technology
just can't eliminate. Sure, we can reduce some of the wreckage by
employing smoke alarms, anti-lock braking systems and those virtual
pilots that keep aircraft aloft when plane drivers accidentally lock
themselves out of cockpits during toilet breaks (more on this later).
But it's testimony to the joyous chaos and wonderful imperfection of
human nature that a certain number of outlandish screw-ups are
inevitable.
Here, then, are a few of the best "Oh, bugger" moments that have
occurred around the world in recent times.
Medicine
* London, 2003: A cocky cosmetic surgeon is struck off the medical
register after shortening a patient's penis during what is supposed to
be an enlargement procedure. (Insert Homer Simpson-esque "d'oh" here.)
Drugs
* England, 2000: Thieves break into a house and try to snort a pot of
powder they find on a mantelpiece because it looks like cocaine.
Unfortunately the stash turns out to be the cremated remains of the
owner's newfoundland dog, Charlie, whose ability to promote excited,
self-centred soliloquies at celebrity parties turns out to be decidedly
minimal.
* Germany, 2006: A 52-year-old marijuana connoisseur tries in vain to
get a refund for $645 worth of crappy pot he buys from his dealer before
turning to the police for help. He is charged with drug offences after
telling officers that his purchase is unsmokable.
Crime
* Brazil, 2005: A gang of 67 prisoners spends months planning a
break-out and digging anescape tunnel only to emerge in the prisonyard,
where they are greeted by giggling guards.
* Austria, 2006: A man pockets a bunch of jewellery from a house before
making the all-too-common mistake of drinking a bottle of vodka and
taking a nap on one of the beds. The homeowner returns to find this
Goldilocks fan still snoring and calls the cops.
* Japan, 2006: A Japanese bank robber asks tellers for advice on how
best to proceed with his hold-up before meekly obeying a request to
leave and accidentally stabbing himself in the leg with his knife during
his nervous exit.
Culture
* England, 2006: A visitor to the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge trips
down some stairs and destroys a set of priceless 300-year-old Chinese
vases on a window sill. He spends a long time yelling at his shoelaces.
* Cyberspace, 2006: The Movie Mistakes website finds nearly 300 errors
in The Return of the King, the final instalment in The Lord of the Rings
trilogy. Among other continuity issues, eagle-eyed fans report that a
scar on Frodo's face changes size and position and temporarily relocates
from his right cheek to his left on the slopes of Mount Doom.
Animals
* England, 2006: A lively doberman pinscher called Barney shreds 100
stuffed bears - including a $113,000 teddy that belonged to Elvis -
while helping guard a children's museum. Barney is relieved of his
duties and now spends his time chicken guarding (also known as chicken
chasing) on a farm.
Aviation
* The US, 2004: A National Guard fighter jet accidentally strafes the
roof of a primary school near Atlantic City with gunfire. The
embarrassed dude up in the pointy bit says he meant to shoot at a target
in a military reservation near Washington.
* Canada, 2006: A pilot who needs to relieve himself mid-flight finds
himself locked out of the cockpit while 50 horrified passengers watch
on. After banging on the door for a while, he asks the crew to help him
wrench the recalcitrant hatch off its hinges before returning to his
allocated seat for landing.
Religion
* Scotland, 2006: A vicar forgets to disconnect his microphone during a
mid-service loo break. After being heralded with a series of booms,
splashes, groans and echoes, one of the parishioners confesses to
letting out a wee laugh. Clearly this forgiving soul knew that, despite
our best intentions, s--- really will continue to happen.
info@emmatom.com.au

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,21259716-12274,00.html


Bow before a divine boo-boo and honour gift of the gaffe

* THE WRY SIDE
Emma Tom
* February 21, 2007

TO err is human. To do it while breaking out of prison, robbing a bank
or trying to guard a collection of antique children's toys with a teddy
bear-obsessed doberman is divine.
Stuffing up continues to be one of the few human headaches technology
just can't eliminate. Sure, we can reduce some of the wreckage by
employing smoke alarms, anti-lock braking systems and those virtual
pilots that keep aircraft aloft when plane drivers accidentally lock
themselves out of cockpits during toilet breaks (more on this later).

But it's testimony to the joyous chaos and wonderful imperfection of
human nature that a certain number of outlandish screw-ups are
inevitable.

Here, then, are a few of the best "Oh, bugger" moments that have
occurred around the world in recent times.

Medicine

* London, 2003: A cocky cosmetic surgeon is struck off the medical
register after shortening a patient's penis during what is supposed to
be an enlargement procedure. (Insert Homer Simpson-esque "d'oh" here.)

Drugs

* England, 2000: Thieves break into a house and try to snort a pot of
powder they find on a mantelpiece because it looks like cocaine.
Unfortunately the stash turns out to be the cremated remains of the
owner's newfoundland dog, Charlie, whose ability to promote excited,
self-centred soliloquies at celebrity parties turns out to be decidedly
minimal.

* Germany, 2006: A 52-year-old marijuana connoisseur tries in vain to
get a refund for $645 worth of crappy pot he buys from his dealer before
turning to the police for help. He is charged with drug offences after
telling officers that his purchase is unsmokable.

Crime

* Brazil, 2005: A gang of 67 prisoners spends months planning a
break-out and digging anescape tunnel only to emerge in the prisonyard,
where they are greeted by giggling guards.

* Austria, 2006: A man pockets a bunch of jewellery from a house before
making the all-too-common mistake of drinking a bottle of vodka and
taking a nap on one of the beds. The homeowner returns to find this
Goldilocks fan still snoring and calls the cops.

* Japan, 2006: A Japanese bank robber asks tellers for advice on how
best to proceed with his hold-up before meekly obeying a request to
leave and accidentally stabbing himself in the leg with his knife during
his nervous exit.

Culture

* England, 2006: A visitor to the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge trips
down some stairs and destroys a set of priceless 300-year-old Chinese
vases on a window sill. He spends a long time yelling at his shoelaces.

* Cyberspace, 2006: The Movie Mistakes website finds nearly 300 errors
in The Return of the King, the final instalment in The Lord of the Rings
trilogy. Among other continuity issues, eagle-eyed fans report that a
scar on Frodo's face changes size and position and temporarily relocates
from his right cheek to his left on the slopes of Mount Doom.

Animals

* England, 2006: A lively doberman pinscher called Barney shreds 100
stuffed bears - including a $113,000 teddy that belonged to Elvis -
while helping guard a children's museum. Barney is relieved of his
duties and now spends his time chicken guarding (also known as chicken
chasing) on a farm.

Aviation

* The US, 2004: A National Guard fighter jet accidentally strafes the
roof of a primary school near Atlantic City with gunfire. The
embarrassed dude up in the pointy bit says he meant to shoot at a target
in a military reservation near Washington.

* Canada, 2006: A pilot who needs to relieve himself mid-flight finds
himself locked out of the cockpit while 50 horrified passengers watch
on. After banging on the door for a while, he asks the crew to help him
wrench the recalcitrant hatch off its hinges before returning to his
allocated seat for landing.

Religion

* Scotland, 2006: A vicar forgets to disconnect his microphone during a
mid-service loo break. After being heralded with a series of booms,
splashes, groans and echoes, one of the parishioners confesses to
letting out a wee laugh. Clearly this forgiving soul knew that, despite
our best intentions, s--- really will continue to happen.

info@emmatom.com.au

* Brazil, 2005: A gang of 67 prisoners spends months planning a
break-out and digging anescape tunnel only to emerge in the prisonyard,
where they are greeted by giggling guards.