| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"quibbler" |
| Date: |
31 Mar 2007 04:10:45 PM |
| Object: |
Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
-------------------------------------------
MONROVIA (AP)
Pat Robertson, a controversial and charismatic fixture of American
television evangelism, has died at the age of 77. Over his forty-seven
year career, Robertson helped for forge a media and religious empire,
founding such organizations as, "The 700 Club", "Operation Blessing" and
"The Christian Broadcasting Network".
"It is a tragic blow to this organization", CBN correspondent Gary North
commented. "All of us here at CBN feel as though we have lost our
spiritual father", North added.
Robertson had been inspecting his diamond mining operations first-hand,
in the Taylor Valley, south of Monrovia, Liberia. It it is believed that
a bolt of lightning may have sparked an explosion that caused the roof of
tunnel #3 to collapse.
Laborers worked and prayed frantically for seven hours to clear away
debris. However, Robertson is believed to have quickly succumbed to his
injuries, being literally suffocated by loose diamonds and gravel, which
filled his mouth and nasal cavity. A boulder, slightly under 2000
pounds, was found, pinning Robertson's legs to the ground, which,
unfortunately, he appears to have been unable to leg press off of
himself. Robertson had failed to consume his usual, strength-conferring
protein shake during breakfast, according to his personal trainer Billy
Saybub, which may have accounted for his apparent lack of muscular
prowess.
A taskforce of students from Robertson's Regent's University, headed by
Monica Goodling, will be conducting a full investigation of events
surrounding this fatal mishap. "Once we have waited a prudent three days
and we are sure he is not coming back, we intend to conduct an autopsy as
well," Goodling commented.
--
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
.
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| User: "Robibnikoff" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 04:42:54 AM |
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"quibbler" <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.20787abb50700c9989ee8@news.readfreenews.net...
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
-------------------------------------------
MONROVIA (AP)
Pat Robertson, a controversial and charismatic fixture of American
television evangelism, has died at the age of 77. Over his forty-seven
year career, Robertson helped for forge a media and religious empire,
founding such organizations as, "The 700 Club", "Operation Blessing" and
"The Christian Broadcasting Network".
April Fool, you *****! ;)
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
BAAWA Knight!
#1557
.
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| User: "quibbler" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 09:00:20 AM |
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In article <579d4cF2ceecrU1@mid.individual.net>,
says...
"quibbler" <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:MPG.20787abb50700c9989ee8@news.readfreenews.net...
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
-------------------------------------------
MONROVIA (AP)
Pat Robertson, a controversial and charismatic fixture of American
television evangelism, has died at the age of 77. Over his forty-seven
year career, Robertson helped for forge a media and religious empire,
founding such organizations as, "The 700 Club", "Operation Blessing" and
"The Christian Broadcasting Network".
April Fool, you *****! ;)
Oh, yeah, I had forgotten about that Christian holiday ;)...Anyway, how
do you know it isn't true? Have you ever been to Monrovia? Blessed are
those who believe and send their $5000 love contribution by credit card,
without the need for "evidence".
Of course, if Robertson did die that way today, then it might actually be
some evidence that there was a God. So it's kind of a double bind. If
it would mean that Robertson would keel over dead, I would momentarily
pretend that there was a god.
--
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
.
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| User: "Lars Eighner" |
|
| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 02:26:27 AM |
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In our last episode,
<MPG.20787abb50700c9989ee8@news.readfreenews.net>,
the lovely and talented quibbler
broadcast on alt.atheism:
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
From Sun Apr 1 02:26:43 2007
Path: news.usenetmonster.com!unm1.readnews.com!news-out.readnews.com!news-xxxfer.readnews.com!news.glorb.com!news-out.octanews.net!indigo.octanews.net!authen.yellow.readfreenews.net.POSTED!not-for-mail
From: quibbler <>
Newsgroups: alt.atheism,alt.politics.liberalism,alt.impeach.bush
Subject: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!!
Date: Sat, 31 Mar 2007 14:10:45 -0700
You're about 10 hours ahead of yourself, aren't you?
--
Lars Eighner <http://larseighner.com/> <http://myspace.com/larseighner>
Countdown: 660 days to go.
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| User: "quibbler" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 08:46:56 AM |
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In article <slrnf0uno6.1ee.usenet@goodwill.larseighner.com>,
usenet@larseighner.com says...
In our last episode,
<MPG.20787abb50700c9989ee8@news.readfreenews.net>,
the lovely and talented quibbler
broadcast on alt.atheism:
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
From Sun Apr 1 02:26:43 2007
Path: news.usenetmonster.com!unm1.readnews.com!news-out.readnews.com!news-xxxfer.readnews.com!news.glorb.com!news-out.octanews.net!indigo.octanews.net!authen.yellow.readfreenews.net.POSTED!not-for-mail
From: quibbler <>
Newsgroups: alt.atheism,alt.politics.liberalism,alt.impeach.bush
Subject: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!!
Date: Sat, 31 Mar 2007 14:10:45 -0700
You're about 10 hours ahead of yourself, aren't you?
I fucked up setting the date the first time.
--
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
.
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| User: "Pastor Kutchie, born again Christian" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 05:41:50 AM |
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On Mar 31, 10:10 pm, quibbler <quibbler...@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
I pray for your endangered soul, brother Quibbler.
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| User: "quibbler" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 09:03:51 AM |
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In article <1175424110.033264.95350@d57g2000hsg.googlegroups.com>,
user13@heathens.org.uk says...
On Mar 31, 10:10 pm, quibbler <quibbler...@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
I pray for your endangered soul, brother Quibbler.
But, but, isn't death a good thing for death-worshipping Christers. It's
so confusing. Won't brother Pat go straight to heaven, just like the dog
that my parents had to "put to sleep" when I was a kid?
--
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
.
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| User: "Pastor Kutchie, ordained atheist minister" |
|
| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 10:46:32 AM |
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On Apr 1, 3:03 pm, quibbler <quibbler...@yahoo.com> wrote:
In article <1175424110.033264.95...@d57g2000hsg.googlegroups.com>,
use...@heathens.org.uk says...
On Mar 31, 10:10 pm, quibbler <quibbler...@yahoo.com> wrote:
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
I pray for your endangered soul, brother Quibbler.
But, but, isn't death a good thing for death-worshipping Christers. It's
so confusing. Won't brother Pat go straight to heaven, just like the dog
that my parents had to "put to sleep" when I was a kid?
--
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
I wish I had the chutzpah to do what one "cult" leader did, and get
hundreds of people to hand over their worldly wealth to him on the
promise of the imminent Rapture, then throw themselves off a 20 storey
office block.
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| User: "Michael Gray" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 03:49:05 AM |
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On Sat, 31 Mar 2007 14:10:45 -0700, quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com>
wrote:
- Refer: <MPG.20787abb50700c9989ee8@news.readfreenews.net>
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
-------------------------------------------
MONROVIA (AP)
Pat Robertson, a controversial and charismatic fixture of American
television evangelism, has died at the age of 77. Over his forty-seven
year career, Robertson helped for forge a media and religious empire,
founding such organizations as, "The 700 Club", "Operation Blessing" and
"The Christian Broadcasting Network".
"It is a tragic blow to this organization", CBN correspondent Gary North
commented. "All of us here at CBN feel as though we have lost our
spiritual father", North added.
Robertson had been inspecting his diamond mining operations first-hand,
in the Taylor Valley, south of Monrovia, Liberia. It it is believed that
a bolt of lightning may have sparked an explosion that caused the roof of
tunnel #3 to collapse.
Laborers worked and prayed frantically for seven hours to clear away
debris. However, Robertson is believed to have quickly succumbed to his
injuries, being literally suffocated by loose diamonds and gravel, which
filled his mouth and nasal cavity. A boulder, slightly under 2000
pounds, was found, pinning Robertson's legs to the ground, which,
unfortunately, he appears to have been unable to leg press off of
himself. Robertson had failed to consume his usual, strength-conferring
protein shake during breakfast, according to his personal trainer Billy
Saybub, which may have accounted for his apparent lack of muscular
prowess.
A taskforce of students from Robertson's Regent's University, headed by
Monica Goodling, will be conducting a full investigation of events
surrounding this fatal mishap. "Once we have waited a prudent three days
and we are sure he is not coming back, we intend to conduct an autopsy as
well," Goodling commented.
The Onion?
--
.
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| User: "quibbler" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 08:51:48 AM |
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In article <ofsu0394lept6sl1sfgvt26lb91831tm9r@4ax.com>,
mikegray@newsguy.com says...
A taskforce of students from Robertson's Regent's University, headed by
Monica Goodling, will be conducting a full investigation of events
surrounding this fatal mishap. "Once we have waited a prudent three days
and we are sure he is not coming back, we intend to conduct an autopsy as
well," Goodling commented.
The Onion?
No, just me at 1:00 am. I'm sure the Onion will have some good stuff
too.
--
--
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
.
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| User: "Michael Gray" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 05:53:17 PM |
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On Sun, 1 Apr 2007 07:51:48 -0600, quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com>
wrote:
- Refer: <MPG.207966da872926c0989eec@news.readfreenews.net>
In article <ofsu0394lept6sl1sfgvt26lb91831tm9r@4ax.com>,
mikegray@newsguy.com says...
A taskforce of students from Robertson's Regent's University, headed by
Monica Goodling, will be conducting a full investigation of events
surrounding this fatal mishap. "Once we have waited a prudent three days
and we are sure he is not coming back, we intend to conduct an autopsy as
well," Goodling commented.
The Onion?
No, just me at 1:00 am. I'm sure the Onion will have some good stuff
too.
You ought to offer your services to them.
That was pretty good stuff.
--
.
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| User: "Dubh Ghall" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 04:16:51 AM |
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On Sat, 31 Mar 2007 14:10:45 -0700, quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
-------------------------------------------
MONROVIA (AP)
Pat Robertson, a controversial and charismatic fixture of American
television evangelism, has died at the age of 77. Over his forty-seven
year career, Robertson helped for forge a media and religious empire,
founding such organizations as, "The 700 Club", "Operation Blessing" and
"The Christian Broadcasting Network".
"It is a tragic blow to this organization", CBN correspondent Gary North
commented. "All of us here at CBN feel as though we have lost our
spiritual father", North added.
Robertson had been inspecting his diamond mining operations first-hand,
in the Taylor Valley, south of Monrovia, Liberia. It it is believed that
a bolt of lightning may have sparked an explosion that caused the roof of
tunnel #3 to collapse.
Laborers worked and prayed frantically for seven hours to clear away
debris. However, Robertson is believed to have quickly succumbed to his
injuries, being literally suffocated by loose diamonds and gravel, which
filled his mouth and nasal cavity. A boulder, slightly under 2000
pounds, was found, pinning Robertson's legs to the ground, which,
unfortunately, he appears to have been unable to leg press off of
himself. Robertson had failed to consume his usual, strength-conferring
protein shake during breakfast, according to his personal trainer Billy
Saybub, which may have accounted for his apparent lack of muscular
prowess.
A taskforce of students from Robertson's Regent's University, headed by
Monica Goodling, will be conducting a full investigation of events
surrounding this fatal mishap. "Once we have waited a prudent three days
and we are sure he is not coming back, we intend to conduct an autopsy as
well," Goodling commented.
Elroy, Is that you?
--
The spelling Like any opinion stated here
purely my own
#162 BAAWA Knight.
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| User: "quibbler" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 08:53:09 AM |
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In article <f2pv53hooejnpkvbbemj5pddt08l53gab2@4ax.com>,
puck@pooks.hill.fey says...
Elroy, Is that you?
Nowhere near that talent level, I'm afraid. But I can dream, can't I.
--
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
.
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| User: "Elroy Willis" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
02 Apr 2007 12:46:55 PM |
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quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in alt.atheism
puck@pooks.hill.fey says...
Elroy, Is that you?
Nowhere near that talent level, I'm afraid. But I can dream, can't I.
I think you show some real promise, actually. :)
I'd be glad to tutor you privately, in email, if you want.
I have several comments about the above story that I liked, and
several I thought could use improvement, so gimme a shout through
email if you want some private coaching to improve your satirical
skills.
I'm currently busy writing longer stories and screenplays in my spare
time, so I don't write many new short satirical news stories these
days, but I'm willing to help out a wannabe, if I can, every now and
then...
Cheers
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
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| User: "Yang, AthD h.c" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
02 Apr 2007 12:59:43 AM |
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On Sat, 31 Mar 2007 14:10:45 -0700, quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com>
wrote:
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
-------------------------------------------
MONROVIA (AP)
Pat Robertson, a controversial and charismatic fixture of American
television evangelism, has died at the age of 77. Over his forty-seven
year career, Robertson helped for forge a media and religious empire,
founding such organizations as, "The 700 Club", "Operation Blessing" and
"The Christian Broadcasting Network".
"It is a tragic blow to this organization", CBN correspondent Gary North
commented. "All of us here at CBN feel as though we have lost our
spiritual father", North added.
Robertson had been inspecting his diamond mining operations first-hand,
in the Taylor Valley, south of Monrovia, Liberia. It it is believed that
a bolt of lightning may have sparked an explosion that caused the roof of
tunnel #3 to collapse.
Laborers worked and prayed frantically for seven hours to clear away
debris. However, Robertson is believed to have quickly succumbed to his
injuries, being literally suffocated by loose diamonds and gravel, which
filled his mouth and nasal cavity. A boulder, slightly under 2000
pounds, was found, pinning Robertson's legs to the ground, which,
unfortunately, he appears to have been unable to leg press off of
himself. Robertson had failed to consume his usual, strength-conferring
protein shake during breakfast, according to his personal trainer Billy
Saybub, which may have accounted for his apparent lack of muscular
prowess.
President Hugo Chavez of Venezuela, whom Pat Robertson wanted to
assassinate, thought about helping Mssr Robertson with his newly
formed emergency cave-in response task force; in the end decided
against it. Some water simply ran too deep to be forded.
A taskforce of students from Robertson's Regent's University, headed by
Monica Goodling, will be conducting a full investigation of events
surrounding this fatal mishap. "Once we have waited a prudent three days
and we are sure he is not coming back, we intend to conduct an autopsy as
well," Goodling commented.
--
Yang
a.a. #28
AthD (h.c.) conferred by the regents of the LCL
a.a. pastor #-273.15, the most frigid church of Celcius nee Kelvin
EAC Econometric Forecast and Sorcery Division
The Bush 'balanced' budget: -3 trillion and worsening
The Bush 'economic' policy: 12.5 million FEWER jobs than Clinton and counting
The Bush Iraq lie: -3245 GIs, one friend's co-worker's son and mounting
Having Bush ***** up my country: Worthless
newsgroups Yang promises not to revenge post
in response to Sound-of-Trumpet's *****:
rec.art.scifi.written
sci.archaeology
soc.history.what-if
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| User: "Figaro" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 07:54:49 AM |
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On Sat, 31 Mar 2007 14:10:45 -0700, quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote:
That's right you SOB; hand me an early Christmas present then take it back.
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| User: "Doc Smartass" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 04:42:49 PM |
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quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote in
news:MPG.20787abb50700c9989ee8@news.readfreenews.net:
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
-------------------------------------------
MONROVIA (AP)
Pat Robertson, a controversial and charismatic fixture of American
television evangelism, has died at the age of 77. Over his
forty-seven year career, Robertson helped for forge a media and
religious empire, founding such organizations as, "The 700 Club",
"Operation Blessing" and "The Christian Broadcasting Network".
"It is a tragic blow to this organization", CBN correspondent Gary
North commented. "All of us here at CBN feel as though we have lost
our spiritual father", North added.
Robertson had been inspecting his diamond mining operations
first-hand, in the Taylor Valley, south of Monrovia, Liberia. It it
is believed that a bolt of lightning may have sparked an explosion
that caused the roof of tunnel #3 to collapse.
Laborers worked and prayed frantically for seven hours to clear away
debris. However, Robertson is believed to have quickly succumbed to
his injuries, being literally suffocated by loose diamonds and gravel,
which filled his mouth and nasal cavity. A boulder, slightly under
2000 pounds, was found, pinning Robertson's legs to the ground, which,
unfortunately, he appears to have been unable to leg press off of
himself. Robertson had failed to consume his usual,
strength-conferring protein shake during breakfast, according to his
personal trainer Billy Saybub, which may have accounted for his
apparent lack of muscular prowess.
A taskforce of students from Robertson's Regent's University, headed
by Monica Goodling, will be conducting a full investigation of events
surrounding this fatal mishap. "Once we have waited a prudent three
days and we are sure he is not coming back, we intend to conduct an
autopsy as well," Goodling commented.
Hah!
Too bad about the date =D
--
Doc Smartass, BAAWA Knight of Heckling
aa # 1939
AUTHORITARIANS ARE PERVERTS. Why?
--They consider themselves shepherds.
--They consider the rest of us sheep.
--Shepherds ***** sheep.
--Therefore AUTHORITARIANS ARE PERVERTS.
.
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| User: "Fredric L. Rice" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 10:55:35 AM |
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quibbler <quibbler247@yahoo.com> wrote:
"Once we have waited a prudent three days and we are sure he is
not coming back, we intend to conduct an autopsy as well," Goodling
commented.
LOL!
---
Insane Christofascist rightards think peanut butter debunks
science: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZFG5PKw504
---
"Any faith that can be destroyed by chocolate doesn't
deserve to stand." - Roger
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6513155.stm
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| User: "The Pretzel" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 02:42:01 AM |
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quibbler wrote:
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
-------------------------------------------
MONROVIA (AP)
Pat Robertson, a controversial and charismatic fixture of American
television evangelism, has died at the age of 77. Over his forty-seven
year career, Robertson helped for forge a media and religious empire,
founding such organizations as, "The 700 Club", "Operation Blessing" and
"The Christian Broadcasting Network".
"It is a tragic blow to this organization", CBN correspondent Gary North
commented. "All of us here at CBN feel as though we have lost our
spiritual father", North added.
Robertson had been inspecting his diamond mining operations first-hand,
in the Taylor Valley, south of Monrovia, Liberia. It it is believed that
a bolt of lightning may have sparked an explosion that caused the roof of
tunnel #3 to collapse.
Laborers worked and prayed frantically for seven hours to clear away
debris. However, Robertson is believed to have quickly succumbed to his
injuries, being literally suffocated by loose diamonds and gravel, which
filled his mouth and nasal cavity. A boulder, slightly under 2000
pounds, was found, pinning Robertson's legs to the ground, which,
unfortunately, he appears to have been unable to leg press off of
himself. Robertson had failed to consume his usual, strength-conferring
protein shake during breakfast, according to his personal trainer Billy
Saybub, which may have accounted for his apparent lack of muscular
prowess.
A taskforce of students from Robertson's Regent's University, headed by
Monica Goodling, will be conducting a full investigation of events
surrounding this fatal mishap. "Once we have waited a prudent three days
and we are sure he is not coming back, we intend to conduct an autopsy as
well," Goodling commented.
The mother fucker is going straight to hell.
LOL! If only it were true... It's to poetic to be real...
.
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| User: "quibbler" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 08:48:47 AM |
|
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In article <460f6253$0$24787$4c368faf@roadrunner.com>,
salted@roldgold.net says...
quibbler wrote:
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
-------------------------------------------
MONROVIA (AP)
Pat Robertson, a controversial and charismatic fixture of American
television evangelism, has died at the age of 77. Over his forty-seven
year career, Robertson helped for forge a media and religious empire,
founding such organizations as, "The 700 Club", "Operation Blessing" and
"The Christian Broadcasting Network".
"It is a tragic blow to this organization", CBN correspondent Gary North
commented. "All of us here at CBN feel as though we have lost our
spiritual father", North added.
Robertson had been inspecting his diamond mining operations first-hand,
in the Taylor Valley, south of Monrovia, Liberia. It it is believed that
a bolt of lightning may have sparked an explosion that caused the roof of
tunnel #3 to collapse.
Laborers worked and prayed frantically for seven hours to clear away
debris. However, Robertson is believed to have quickly succumbed to his
injuries, being literally suffocated by loose diamonds and gravel, which
filled his mouth and nasal cavity. A boulder, slightly under 2000
pounds, was found, pinning Robertson's legs to the ground, which,
unfortunately, he appears to have been unable to leg press off of
himself. Robertson had failed to consume his usual, strength-conferring
protein shake during breakfast, according to his personal trainer Billy
Saybub, which may have accounted for his apparent lack of muscular
prowess.
A taskforce of students from Robertson's Regent's University, headed by
Monica Goodling, will be conducting a full investigation of events
surrounding this fatal mishap. "Once we have waited a prudent three days
and we are sure he is not coming back, we intend to conduct an autopsy as
well," Goodling commented.
The mother fucker is going straight to hell.
LOL! If only it were true... It's to poetic to be real...
Oh ye of little faith! I didn't want to make it sound too real and get
people's hopes up too much.
--
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
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| User: "Tim McGaughy" |
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| Title: Re: Breaking News: Pat Robertson DEAD!!! |
01 Apr 2007 08:23:51 AM |
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in article 460f6253$0$24787$4c368faf@roadrunner.com, The Pretzel at
salted@roldgold.net wrote on 4/1/07 2:42 AM:
quibbler wrote:
Hell yeah, talk about Good News to report !!!!
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MONROVIA (AP)
Pat Robertson, a controversial and charismatic fixture of American
television evangelism, has died at the age of 77. Over his forty-seven
year career, Robertson helped for forge a media and religious empire,
founding such organizations as, "The 700 Club", "Operation Blessing" and
"The Christian Broadcasting Network".
"It is a tragic blow to this organization", CBN correspondent Gary North
commented. "All of us here at CBN feel as though we have lost our
spiritual father", North added.
Robertson had been inspecting his diamond mining operations first-hand,
in the Taylor Valley, south of Monrovia, Liberia. It it is believed that
a bolt of lightning may have sparked an explosion that caused the roof of
tunnel #3 to collapse.
Laborers worked and prayed frantically for seven hours to clear away
debris. However, Robertson is believed to have quickly succumbed to his
injuries, being literally suffocated by loose diamonds and gravel, which
filled his mouth and nasal cavity. A boulder, slightly under 2000
pounds, was found, pinning Robertson's legs to the ground, which,
unfortunately, he appears to have been unable to leg press off of
himself. Robertson had failed to consume his usual, strength-conferring
protein shake during breakfast, according to his personal trainer Billy
Saybub, which may have accounted for his apparent lack of muscular
prowess.
A taskforce of students from Robertson's Regent's University, headed by
Monica Goodling, will be conducting a full investigation of events
surrounding this fatal mishap. "Once we have waited a prudent three days
and we are sure he is not coming back, we intend to conduct an autopsy as
well," Goodling commented.
The mother fucker is going straight to hell.
LOL! If only it were true... It's to poetic to be real...
I'd also suspect that it's too April Firsty to be real.
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