| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Bible Studies with Satan" |
| Date: |
21 Mar 2005 10:17:33 PM |
| Object: |
Bush: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
Saving Terri Schiavo: Presenting Incontrovertible Proof that Every Life Has
Worth, President Bush Announces "66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards"
Statement by the President
THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Today, with the help of breathless, non-stop
coverage by the cable news media, America stands transfixed by word that once
again, Florida's judiciary has ruled that Terri Schiavo's feeding tube be
removed. Well unlike those "activist judges," I believe that folks like Ms.
Schiavo, who has spent the past fifteen dignity-filled years efficiently
converting bio-gruel into diarrhea, still have so very much to offer the world.
Fortunately, although Terri's Law has been declared unconstitutional, "State's
Rights" Republicans are boldly forging ahead with a new Federal bill that will
effectively firebomb Florida's anti-Christian sovereignty once and for all –
legislation that Jesus and I will happily sign once it reaches our desk.
In the meantime, I am pleased to present the results of an all-night telephone
brainstorming session by me, my baby brother Jebber, and Operation Rescue
founder Randal Terry: "66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards." I think folks will
find it's a real useful guide for the forced application of my trademark brand
of "compassion." Thank you.
66 USES FOR PERSISTENT VEGETARDS
1. Political Chess Piece
2. Beanbag Chair
3. Cat Scratching Post
4. Firewood Caddy
5. Elevator Counterweight
6. O2 / CO2 Converter
7. In-Sinkerator
8. "Resusci-Terri" Doll
9. Cosmetology Practice Bust
10. Sofa Ottoman
11. Draize Tester
12. Percussion Instrument
13. Throw Pillow
14. Puppy Teething Toy
15. Lawn Sculpture
16. Conversation Piece
17. Air Freshener
18. Paperweight
19. Umbrella Stand
20. Bottle Opener
21. Flypaper
22. Fertilizer Factory
23. Garden Hose Spool
24. Surrogate Mommy for Hire
25. Preschool Jungle Gym
26. Chicken Egg Incubator
27. Ashtray
28. Glove Mold
29. Shoe Tree
30. Punching Bag
31. Mousetrap
32. Candelabra
33. Florida Voter
34. Coat Rack
35. Stash Box
36. Whiteboard
37. Christmas Tree
38. Yogurt Maker
39. Scarecrow
40. Carpool Lane Passenger
41. Coal Mine Canary
42. Space Heater
43. Fangoria Cover Model
44. Mystery Meat
45. Boat Anchor
46. "Hannity & Schiavo"
47. Doorstop
48. National Intelligence Czar
49. Organ Farm
50. Minesweeper
51. Speedbump
52. Deep Sea Fishing Lure
53. Jello Mold
54. Wetnurse
55. Insulation
56. Support for Shelves
57. Ironing Board
58. Anvil
59. Cider Press
60. Pez Dispenser
61. Minature Golf Obstacle
62. Compost Turner
63. Medicine Ball
64. Cutting Board
65. Home Methane Farm
66. Swift Boat Veteran for Truth
http://whitehouse.org/news/2005/031905.asp
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| User: "Church of Jesus Christ" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
22 Mar 2005 09:29:20 PM |
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That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
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| User: "If Life Gives You Clayton....Make Claytonaide" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
22 Mar 2005 11:24:05 PM |
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"Church of Jesus Christ" <rev@churchofjc.org> wrote in message
news:42408e31$0$8744$db0fefd9@news.zen.co.uk...
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You're the one who wants to keep a mindless piece of meat lingering in limbo
for all eternity so you can win brownie points with a non-existent sky
fairy!!!
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
24 Mar 2005 09:21:15 PM |
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On Wed, 23 Mar 2005 09:24:05 +1000, "If Life Gives You Clayton....Make
Claytonaide" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com> wrote:
"Church of Jesus Christ" <rev@churchofjc.org> wrote in message
news:42408e31$0$8744$db0fefd9@news.zen.co.uk...
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You're the one who wants to keep a mindless piece of meat lingering in limbo
for all eternity so you can win brownie points with a non-existent sky
fairy!!!
That's 'Christian Love®.' And such is presented as 'morality.' I'm
sure glad to be immoral, since I've regained my humanity.
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
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| User: "Bible Studies with Satan" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
22 Mar 2005 09:38:21 PM |
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Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You christians make me want to puke.
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| User: "Church of Jesus Christ" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
22 Mar 2005 10:19:47 PM |
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"Bible Studies with Satan" <church@state.org> wrote in message
news:hf00e.1716$pa.346@attbi_s02...
Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You christians make me want to puke.
Why? Because we want to save a human life?
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| User: "Phÿltêr" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
24 Mar 2005 11:29:12 PM |
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"Church of Jesus Christ" <rev@churchofjc.org> astounded us with:
news:42409a02$0$32603$db0fefd9@news.zen.co.uk:
"Bible Studies with Satan" <church@state.org> wrote in message
news:hf00e.1716$pa.346@attbi_s02...
Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You christians make me want to puke.
Why? Because we want to save a human life?
Terri Schiavo has been dead for fifteen years, what's to save?
Of course, to the brain dead multitudes, she's not dead, merely sleeping,
waiting for god to get off his lazy arse and wake her up.
--
Phÿltêr
AA#1938
Denizen of Darkness #44 & AFJC Antipodean Attaché
Remove "s" to respond
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| User: "PlanetEarth" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
23 Mar 2005 03:22:29 AM |
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"Church of Jesus Christ" <rev@churchofjc.org> wrote in message
news:42409a02$0$32603$db0fefd9@news.zen.co.uk...
"Bible Studies with Satan" <church@state.org> wrote in message
news:hf00e.1716$pa.346@attbi_s02...
Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You christians make me want to puke.
Why? Because we want to save a human life?
That's a joke. Tell that to the Iraqi people.
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
24 Mar 2005 09:19:34 PM |
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On Tue, 22 Mar 2005 22:22:29 -0500, "PlanetEarth"
<spamhere@nospam.com> wrote:
"Church of Jesus Christ" <rev@churchofjc.org> wrote in message
news:42409a02$0$32603$db0fefd9@news.zen.co.uk...
"Bible Studies with Satan" <church@state.org> wrote in message
news:hf00e.1716$pa.346@attbi_s02...
Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You christians make me want to puke.
Why? Because we want to save a human life?
That's a joke. Tell that to the Iraqi people.
Ah, but you forget the Iraqi's aren't people in the (cough) 'minds' of
these mental toddlers.
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
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| User: "Bible Studies with Satan" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
22 Mar 2005 10:25:52 PM |
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Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
"Bible Studies with Satan" <church@state.org> wrote in message
news:hf00e.1716$pa.346@attbi_s02...
Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You christians make me want to puke.
Why? Because we want to save a human life?
Because you love life in the flesh and you are all afraid of DEATH and you
worship mammon and you worship Caesar and you know that your god will not save
Terri.
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
24 Mar 2005 09:03:28 PM |
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On Tue, 22 Mar 2005 22:25:52 GMT, Bible Studies with Satan
<church@state.org> wrote:
Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
"Bible Studies with Satan" <church@state.org> wrote in message
news:hf00e.1716$pa.346@attbi_s02...
Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You christians make me want to puke.
Why? Because we want to save a human life?
Because you love life in the flesh and you are all afraid of DEATH and you
worship mammon and you worship Caesar and you know that your god will not save
Terri.
Their idiot god caused Terri.
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.
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| User: "Kate " |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
23 Mar 2005 01:21:03 AM |
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On Tue, 22 Mar 2005 22:19:47 -0000, "Church of Jesus Christ"
<rev@churchofjc.org> wrote:
"Bible Studies with Satan" <church@state.org> wrote in message
news:hf00e.1716$pa.346@attbi_s02...
Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You christians make me want to puke.
Why? Because we want to save a human life?
You want to make someone suffer so you can save a human life? You
think making people suffer when they don't want to is moral?
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| User: "Enkidu" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
23 Mar 2005 02:23:35 AM |
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(Kate ) wrote in news:4263c428.527220531@news-
west.newscene.com:
On Tue, 22 Mar 2005 22:19:47 -0000, "Church of Jesus Christ"
<rev@churchofjc.org> wrote:
"Bible Studies with Satan" <church@state.org> wrote in message
news:hf00e.1716$pa.346@attbi_s02...
Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You christians make me want to puke.
Why? Because we want to save a human life?
You want to make someone suffer so you can save a human life? You
think making people suffer when they don't want to is moral?
Well, their "God" couldn't forgive man for his "sins" without hanging
Himself on a cross for a while and suffering. Then He didn't forgive us
after all, and sends most of us to a place of eternal suffering.
Why should Terri Schiavo get off easy?
--
Enkidu AA#2165
EAC Chaplin and ordained minister,
ULC, Modesto, CA
Allow the President to invade a neighboring nation whenever he shall deem
it necessary to repel an invasion and you allow him to do so whenever he
may choose to say he deems it necessary for such purpose, and you allow
him to make war at pleasure....
If today he should choose to say he thinks it necessary to invade
Canada to prevent the British from invading us, how could you stop him?
You may say to him, "I see no probability of the British invading us,"
but he will say to you, "Be silent; I see it, if you don't."
-- Abraham Lincoln
Now playing: NightMusicHQ
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
24 Mar 2005 09:18:46 PM |
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On 23 Mar 2005 02:23:35 GMT, Enkidu <zwi6iv402@sneakemail.com> wrote:
cobalt@newscene.com (Kate ) wrote in news:4263c428.527220531@news-
west.newscene.com:
On Tue, 22 Mar 2005 22:19:47 -0000, "Church of Jesus Christ"
<rev@churchofjc.org> wrote:
"Bible Studies with Satan" <church@state.org> wrote in message
news:hf00e.1716$pa.346@attbi_s02...
Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You christians make me want to puke.
Why? Because we want to save a human life?
You want to make someone suffer so you can save a human life? You
think making people suffer when they don't want to is moral?
Well, their "God" couldn't forgive man for his "sins" without hanging
Himself on a cross for a while and suffering. Then He didn't forgive us
after all, and sends most of us to a place of eternal suffering.
Nothing to 'forgive' when everything is scripted.
Why should Terri Schiavo get off easy?
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
24 Mar 2005 09:18:15 PM |
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On 22 Mar 2005 19:21:03 -0600, (Kate ) wrote:
On Tue, 22 Mar 2005 22:19:47 -0000, "Church of Jesus Christ"
<rev@churchofjc.org> wrote:
"Bible Studies with Satan" <church@state.org> wrote in message
news:hf00e.1716$pa.346@attbi_s02...
Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You christians make me want to puke.
Why? Because we want to save a human life?
You want to make someone suffer so you can save a human life? You
think making people suffer when they don't want to is moral?
As long as s/he isn't the one in the 'cross-hairs of largesse®,' yes.
Fundies are such paragons of mindless immorality.
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
24 Mar 2005 09:02:33 PM |
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On Tue, 22 Mar 2005 22:19:47 -0000, "Church of Jesus Christ"
<rev@churchofjc.org> wrote:
"Bible Studies with Satan" <church@state.org> wrote in message
news:hf00e.1716$pa.346@attbi_s02...
Church of Jesus Christ wrote:
That is just not not funny.
You're fucking sick.
You christians make me want to puke.
Why? Because we want to save a human life?
There's nothing to 'save.'
If you want to save a human life then yank the cannonfodder out of
Iraq.
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.
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| User: "Vic Sagerquist" |
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| Title: Re: Bush: 66 Uses for Persistent Vegetards |
21 Mar 2005 10:29:44 PM |
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on 21 Mar 2005 in alt.atheism, Bible Studies with Satan dropped trou,
farted, whirled, then shouted:
Saving Terri Schiavo: Presenting Incontrovertible Proof that Every
Life Has Worth, President Bush Announces "66 Uses for Persistent
Vegetards"
Statement by the President
THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Today, with the help of breathless,
non-stop
coverage by the cable news media, America stands transfixed by word
that once again, Florida's judiciary has ruled that Terri Schiavo's
feeding tube be removed. Well unlike those "activist judges," I
believe that folks like Ms. Schiavo, who has spent the past fifteen
dignity-filled years efficiently converting bio-gruel into diarrhea,
still have so very much to offer the world.
Fortunately, although Terri's Law has been declared unconstitutional,
"State's
Rights" Republicans are boldly forging ahead with a new Federal bill
that will effectively firebomb Florida's anti-Christian sovereignty
once and for all – legislation that Jesus and I will happily sign
once it reaches our desk.
In the meantime, I am pleased to present the results of an all-night
telephone brainstorming session by me, my baby brother Jebber, and
Operation Rescue founder Randal Terry: "66 Uses for Persistent
Vegetards." I think folks will find it's a real useful guide for the
forced application of my trademark brand of "compassion." Thank you.
66 USES FOR PERSISTENT VEGETARDS
1. Political Chess Piece
2. Beanbag Chair
3. Cat Scratching Post
4. Firewood Caddy
5. Elevator Counterweight
6. O2 / CO2 Converter
7. In-Sinkerator
8. "Resusci-Terri" Doll
9. Cosmetology Practice Bust
10. Sofa Ottoman
11. Draize Tester
12. Percussion Instrument
13. Throw Pillow
14. Puppy Teething Toy
15. Lawn Sculpture
16. Conversation Piece
17. Air Freshener
18. Paperweight
19. Umbrella Stand
20. Bottle Opener
21. Flypaper
22. Fertilizer Factory
23. Garden Hose Spool
24. Surrogate Mommy for Hire
25. Preschool Jungle Gym
26. Chicken Egg Incubator
27. Ashtray
28. Glove Mold
29. Shoe Tree
30. Punching Bag
31. Mousetrap
32. Candelabra
33. Florida Voter
34. Coat Rack
35. Stash Box
36. Whiteboard
37. Christmas Tree
38. Yogurt Maker
39. Scarecrow
40. Carpool Lane Passenger
41. Coal Mine Canary
42. Space Heater
43. Fangoria Cover Model
44. Mystery Meat
45. Boat Anchor
46. "Hannity & Schiavo"
47. Doorstop
48. National Intelligence Czar
49. Organ Farm
50. Minesweeper
51. Speedbump
52. Deep Sea Fishing Lure
53. Jello Mold
54. Wetnurse
55. Insulation
56. Support for Shelves
57. Ironing Board
58. Anvil
59. Cider Press
60. Pez Dispenser
61. Minature Golf Obstacle
62. Compost Turner
63. Medicine Ball
64. Cutting Board
65. Home Methane Farm
66. Swift Boat Veteran for Truth
http://whitehouse.org/news/2005/031905.asp
Sick. But I like #40.
--
Vic Sagerquist
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
Plonked by Jason Gastrich for all eternity...
______________
As you were, I was. As I am, you will be.
--- Hunter S. Thompson
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