Tonight marks the 400th anniversary of Guy Fawkes' Gunpowder Plot and
I've been thinking I'd like to commemorate this historic occasion with
an extra special event.

I've already got a huge pile of firewood and a can of petrol, and all I
really need to set the night off perfectly is a volunteer CATHOLIC!
Preferably a raving fanatic with designs on martyrdom and an
all-consuming desire to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

You wouldn't have to do very much - just stand there tied to a post, and
I'll take care of the rest. You can even enjoy the exciting fireworks
display while you wait.

Now don't get me wrong - I'm not exactly a fan of that little
gammy-legged Scottish poof, James the Stuart - what with his unhealthy
interest in bibles and witch interrogation and all. Frankly I think the
world might have been a better place if they had barbequed him, but hey
- these sorts of events don't come around very often, and I'm not one to
turn down an excuse to party!

So whaddaya say? Any takers?
Duke? You always say you want to help. Tonight's your big chance!

G'waaaan, it'll be fun :)