Christians' war on Christmas
By Geov Parrish
Created Dec 15 2006 - 9:05am
Seems up here in the dark, rainy Pacific Northwest, we've got a little stink
on our hands that's making national news, especially among those phony "War
On Christmas" types who can never keep their facts, or religions, straight.
You see, over at Sea-Tac International Hyphenated Airport, they put up the
usual, you know, Christmas trees. And some rabbi threatened to sue if they
didn't also put up a display of a Menorah to commemorate Hanukkah. Just like
they do at the City of Seattle and any number of other government-owned
properties in the region. So what did the Hyphenated Airport brain trust do?
Against the pleadings of the rabbi and his lawyer, the airport took the
trees down instead.
And then, if you'll pardon the Satanic reference, all Hell broke loose. That
includes Bill O'Reilly, pronged tail and all.
The upshot now is that the airport is redecking its halls with trees, the
rabbi says the whole thing has been blown way out of proportion (and he
won't sue), and some panel will meet -- after the holidays, naturally -- to
discussion among themselves how to be more inclusive.
And the Hell of it is (there's that word again), the Christmas tree is not a
Christian symbol. It predates the birth of Christ by a couple thousand
years. As does the yule log, mistletoe, gift giving, the works. That whole
just-after-the-longest-night rebirth of life thing. I'm even betting the fat
guy with the reindeer and sleigh didn't come from old Judea, either.
Most of what we know as Christmas, in other words, originated with the
pagans (and, in some cases, the Romans), and was appropriated by Christians
to celebrate the birth of Christ at the one time of year He couldn't
possibly have been born. The Bible is imprecise on this point, but we do
know the shepherds were out tending their flocks -- which doesn't happen in
the dead of winter. Desert winter nights are cc-c-o-l-d.
So, speaking on behalf of all Neo-Pagan and Wiccan types out there, perhaps
I should threaten to sue Sea-Tac to include our religion, too -- but that's
no good, because they're already using our symbol! Christians attacked us!
(And isn't that the way of the world?) More precisely, Christians attacked
Christmas. But they were just the first of a long list.
Yeah, Christians have attacked Christmas. So have capitalist greed, insane
consumerism, and the seeming lack of familiarity of many Christians with the
basic tenets of their namesake, aka The Prince of Peace. Don't believe me?
Try combining, with a straight face, Bill O'Reilly's name with any of the
following phrases: Forgiveness. Turning the Other Cheek. The Meek Shall
Inherit the Earth. Go ahead. I double-dare you. Lose and you have to watch
his show, and vice versa: if you have to watch his show, you lose.
Or, as Gandhi said, "The only people in the world who don't know Christ was
a pacifist are Christians."
(I should add that some of my best friends are Christians, and the ones I
know that do try to follow their faith are wonderful, inspiring people. And,
in my experience, a minority.)
And so we get tempests in treepots like this year's airport fiasco. The
reports are already swirling wildly that the rabbi demanded the trees be
removed (he didn't), that the Jews and the godless secularists at the ACLU
are in cahoots (we should be so lucky), and that the liberals in Hollywood,
hearing the word "war," are scouting for a movie treatment (probably true).
This preposterous nonsense is sort of like the run-up to the Iraq War, and,
oddly enough, is being propagated by many of the same people. It's fiction,
based sorta loosely on what might once have been a fact, being harnessed in
the service of a preordained and flatly ridiculous conclusion.
It's a bunch of rich white guys, the folks screwing 90 percent of America,
trying to create a fake controversy so they can stand with (as opposed to
on) the little folks. What war on a holiday? By whom? How can the 80 percent
of this country that calls itself Christian be under serious attack, let
alone the threat of annihilation, by anyone, unless it's some idiot who
talks to and hears from God constantly and has his finger on the nuclear
button?
Oh.
Seriously, Christianity under attack by Jews, the ACLU, secular humanists
and godless atheists? That's like saying Burkina Faso is about to wipe out
every member of the U.N. Security Council.
And, granted, such an attack would be the religious equivalent of Gallipoli.
Where do I sign up? I want my trees back. While you're at it, stop using the
maypole, too. Go make your own springtime life-is-never-ending holiday. Call
it "Easter."
_______
About author Geov Parrish is a Seattle-based columnist and reporter for
Seattle Weekly, In These Times and Eat the State! He writes the daily
Straight Shot for WorkingForChange. He can be reached by email at
geovlp@earthlink.net [1] -- please indicate whether your comments may be
used on WorkingForChange in an upcoming "letters" column.
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"A little patience and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their
spells dissolve, and the people recovering their true sight, restore their
government to its true principles. It is true that in the meantime we are
suffering deeply in spirit,
and incurring the horrors of a war and long oppressions of enormous public
debt. But if the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have
patience till luck turns, and then we shall have an opportunity of winning
back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are at
stake."
-Thomas Jefferson
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