| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Doc Smartass" |
| Date: |
05 May 2004 01:57:38 PM |
| Object: |
Church Sign... |
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a 6-foot-deep
concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the eastbound lanes of
Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
--
Dr. Smartass
BAAWA Knight of Heckling -- a.a. #1939
Dr. Smartass is unnaturally high in carbohydrates, fats, and sodium.
Consult your physician before consuming Dr. Smartass.
.
|
|
| User: "JTEM" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
05 May 2004 03:32:43 PM |
|
|
"Doc Smartass" <gekiskivviesdo@astroboyskivviesmail.com> wrote
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
*Splat*
...."He's with Jesus now!"
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "quibbler" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
05 May 2004 02:16:39 PM |
|
|
In article <Xns94E08FD3C4F83askifyouwantit@216.77.188.18>,
gekiskivviesdo@astroboyskivviesmail.com says...
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a 6-foot-deep
concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the eastbound lanes of
Interstate 10.
Yes, they should be more careful where they put those signs.
--
Quibbler (quibbler247atyahoo.com)
"It is fashionable to wax apocalyptic about the
threat to humanity posed by the AIDS virus, 'mad cow'
disease, and many others, but I think a case can be
made that faith is one of the world's great evils,
comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to
eradicate." -- Richard Dawkins
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
05 May 2004 07:20:34 PM |
|
|
On Wed, 05 May 2004 18:57:38 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekiskivviesdo@astroboyskivviesmail.com> wrote:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a 6-foot-deep
concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the eastbound lanes of
Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
The prophet, Belinda Carlisle, claimed that heaven was a place on
earth...why are you surprised? You heathen.
Gee, I miss living in Pcola...now I know why, I was closer to heaven!
zamboni
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Vic Sagerquist" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
05 May 2004 02:23:43 PM |
|
|
One day in alt.atheism, Also Sprach Doc Smartass:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a 6-foot-deep
concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the eastbound lanes of
Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Right about the spot where you get broadsided by a big-rig delivering toxic
waste.
--
Vic Sagerquist
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department.
______________
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day.
Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
--Timothy Jones
.
|
|
|
| User: "Gregory Gadow" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
05 May 2004 02:46:16 PM |
|
|
Vic Sagerquist wrote:
One day in alt.atheism, Also Sprach Doc Smartass:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a 6-foot-deep
concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the eastbound lanes of
Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Right about the spot where you get broadsided by a big-rig delivering toxic
waste.
At which point, the person following the sign will be presumed to have gone to
Heaven.
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
http://www.serv.net/~techbear
"If you make yourself a sheep, the wolves will eat you."
-- Benjamin Franklin
.
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "towelie" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
05 May 2004 06:58:00 PM |
|
|
TV's Doc Smartass wrote:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a 6-foot-deep
concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the eastbound lanes of
Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Heaven must be awfully boring.
--
"A vote for Bush is a character flaw" - Janeane Garofalo
aa #2133
ap #19
.
|
|
|
| User: "Robibnikoff" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
06 May 2004 08:19:58 AM |
|
|
In article <c7bv28$25o82$1@ID-138129.news.uni-berlin.de>, towelie says...
TV's Doc Smartass wrote:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a 6-foot-deep
concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the eastbound lanes of
Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Heaven must be awfully boring.
I think that goes without saying ;)
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo & EAC Spellcaster
#1557
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Christopher A. Lee" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
06 May 2004 04:54:04 PM |
|
|
On Wed, 5 May 2004 18:58:00 -0500, "towelie" <bugoNOSPAM@hotmail.com>
wrote:
TV's Doc Smartass wrote:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a 6-foot-deep
concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the eastbound lanes of
Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Heaven must be awfully boring.
Necrophilia is dead boring.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Therion Ware" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
06 May 2004 05:10:40 PM |
|
|
On Thu, 06 May 2004 21:54:04 GMT in alt.atheism, Christopher A. Lee
(Christopher A. Lee <calee@optonline.net>) said, directing the reply
to alt.atheism
On Wed, 5 May 2004 18:58:00 -0500, "towelie" <bugoNOSPAM@hotmail.com>
wrote:
TV's Doc Smartass wrote:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a 6-foot-deep
concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the eastbound lanes of
Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Heaven must be awfully boring.
Necrophilia is dead boring.
But incest is only relatively boring.
.
|
|
|
| User: "stoney" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
14 May 2004 03:29:35 PM |
|
|
On Thu, 06 May 2004 23:10:40 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com>, Message ID:
<hudl90hngsfdjcpqqhgs1jl04s5gvk4co1@4ax.com> wrote in alt.atheism;
On Thu, 06 May 2004 21:54:04 GMT in alt.atheism, Christopher A. Lee
(Christopher A. Lee <calee@optonline.net>) said, directing the reply
to alt.atheism
On Wed, 5 May 2004 18:58:00 -0500, "towelie" <bugoNOSPAM@hotmail.com>
wrote:
TV's Doc Smartass wrote:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a 6-foot-deep
concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the eastbound lanes of
Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Heaven must be awfully boring.
Necrophilia is dead boring.
But incest is only relatively boring.
and cow-fucking is bovine................
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
.
|
|
|
| User: "Clayton Cant Find His Left Sock" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
14 May 2004 07:44:59 PM |
|
|
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:v0baa0hc2a6r44c2udp2bqovj7pet8ogve@4ax.com...
On Thu, 06 May 2004 23:10:40 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com>, Message ID:
<hudl90hngsfdjcpqqhgs1jl04s5gvk4co1@4ax.com> wrote in alt.atheism;
On Thu, 06 May 2004 21:54:04 GMT in alt.atheism, Christopher A. Lee
(Christopher A. Lee <calee@optonline.net>) said, directing the reply
to alt.atheism
On Wed, 5 May 2004 18:58:00 -0500, "towelie" <bugoNOSPAM@hotmail.com>
wrote:
TV's Doc Smartass wrote:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive
straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a 6-foot-deep
concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the eastbound lanes of
Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Heaven must be awfully boring.
Necrophilia is dead boring.
But incest is only relatively boring.
and cow-fucking is bovine................
Masturbation is a toss up.
.
|
|
|
| User: "Doc Smartass" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
14 May 2004 08:28:30 PM |
|
|
"Clayton Can't Find His Left Sock"
<cjfat@BLOCKINGOFTHESPAMphonyemail.com> wrote in
news:40a56807$0$8985$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au:
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:v0baa0hc2a6r44c2udp2bqovj7pet8ogve@4ax.com...
On Thu, 06 May 2004 23:10:40 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com>, Message ID:
<hudl90hngsfdjcpqqhgs1jl04s5gvk4co1@4ax.com> wrote in alt.atheism;
On Thu, 06 May 2004 21:54:04 GMT in alt.atheism, Christopher A. Lee
(Christopher A. Lee <calee@optonline.net>) said, directing the reply
to alt.atheism
On Wed, 5 May 2004 18:58:00 -0500, "towelie"
<bugoNOSPAM@hotmail.com> wrote:
TV's Doc Smartass wrote:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive
straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a
6-foot-deep concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the
eastbound lanes of Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Heaven must be awfully boring.
Necrophilia is dead boring.
But incest is only relatively boring.
and cow-fucking is bovine................
Masturbation is a toss up.
Navel-fucking is abdominal.
--
Dr. Smartass
BAAWA Knight of Heckling -- a.a. #1939
Dr. Smartass is unnaturally high in carbohydrates, fats, and sodium.
Consult your physician before consuming Dr. Smartass.
Try New "Religion Pockets!" Flaky crust with a tasty ***** center!
.
|
|
|
| User: "stoney" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
15 May 2004 10:30:20 AM |
|
|
On Sat, 15 May 2004 01:28:30 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekiskivviesdo@astroboyskivviesmail.com>, Message ID:
<Xns94E9D1082F816askifyouwantit@216.77.188.18> wrote in alt.atheism;
"Clayton Can't Find His Left Sock"
<cjfat@BLOCKINGOFTHESPAMphonyemail.com> wrote in
news:40a56807$0$8985$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au:
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:v0baa0hc2a6r44c2udp2bqovj7pet8ogve@4ax.com...
On Thu, 06 May 2004 23:10:40 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com>, Message ID:
<hudl90hngsfdjcpqqhgs1jl04s5gvk4co1@4ax.com> wrote in alt.atheism;
On Thu, 06 May 2004 21:54:04 GMT in alt.atheism, Christopher A. Lee
(Christopher A. Lee <calee@optonline.net>) said, directing the reply
to alt.atheism
On Wed, 5 May 2004 18:58:00 -0500, "towelie"
<bugoNOSPAM@hotmail.com> wrote:
TV's Doc Smartass wrote:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive
straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a
6-foot-deep concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the
eastbound lanes of Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Heaven must be awfully boring.
Necrophilia is dead boring.
But incest is only relatively boring.
and cow-fucking is bovine................
Masturbation is a toss up.
Navel-fucking is abdominal.
***** fucking children is the priests way of duplicating Moses's "miracle"
via 'the parting of the cheeks'.....
The Jesus *****....what a *****....truth in advertising... etc...
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
.
|
|
|
| User: "Doc Smartass" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
15 May 2004 05:53:13 PM |
|
|
stoney <stoney@the.net> wrote in
news:4pdca09ediu56knbc0plbur6ecdkg9bdpl@4ax.com:
On Sat, 15 May 2004 01:28:30 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekiskivviesdo@astroboyskivviesmail.com>, Message ID:
<Xns94E9D1082F816askifyouwantit@216.77.188.18> wrote in alt.atheism;
"Clayton Can't Find His Left Sock"
<cjfat@BLOCKINGOFTHESPAMphonyemail.com> wrote in
news:40a56807$0$8985$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au:
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:v0baa0hc2a6r44c2udp2bqovj7pet8ogve@4ax.com...
On Thu, 06 May 2004 23:10:40 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com>, Message ID:
<hudl90hngsfdjcpqqhgs1jl04s5gvk4co1@4ax.com> wrote in alt.atheism;
On Thu, 06 May 2004 21:54:04 GMT in alt.atheism, Christopher A. Lee
(Christopher A. Lee <calee@optonline.net>) said, directing the reply
to alt.atheism
On Wed, 5 May 2004 18:58:00 -0500, "towelie"
<bugoNOSPAM@hotmail.com> wrote:
TV's Doc Smartass wrote:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive
straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a
6-foot-deep concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the
eastbound lanes of Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Heaven must be awfully boring.
Necrophilia is dead boring.
But incest is only relatively boring.
and cow-fucking is bovine................
Masturbation is a toss up.
Navel-fucking is abdominal.
***** fucking children is the priests way of duplicating Moses's "miracle"
via 'the parting of the cheeks'.....
The Jesus *****....what a *****....truth in advertising... etc...
Lemme spleen somethin' to ya...yer spores to pun!
At any rate, the cheek-spreading is obviously a commemoration of Moses'
parting of the Red Sea.
--
Dr. Smartass
BAAWA Knight of Heckling -- a.a. #1939
Dr. Smartass is unnaturally high in carbohydrates, fats, and sodium.
Consult your physician before consuming Dr. Smartass.
Try New "Religion Pockets!" Flaky crust with a tasty ***** center!
.
|
|
|
| User: "stoney" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
16 May 2004 12:55:51 PM |
|
|
On Sat, 15 May 2004 22:53:13 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekiskivviesdo@astroboyskivviesmail.com>, Message ID:
<Xns94EAB7361424Baskifyouwantit@216.77.188.18> wrote in alt.atheism;
stoney <stoney@the.net> wrote in
news:4pdca09ediu56knbc0plbur6ecdkg9bdpl@4ax.com:
On Sat, 15 May 2004 01:28:30 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekiskivviesdo@astroboyskivviesmail.com>, Message ID:
<Xns94E9D1082F816askifyouwantit@216.77.188.18> wrote in alt.atheism;
"Clayton Can't Find His Left Sock"
<cjfat@BLOCKINGOFTHESPAMphonyemail.com> wrote in
news:40a56807$0$8985$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au:
"stoney" <stoney@the.net> wrote in message
news:v0baa0hc2a6r44c2udp2bqovj7pet8ogve@4ax.com...
On Thu, 06 May 2004 23:10:40 +0100, Therion Ware
<autodelete@city-of-dis.com>, Message ID:
<hudl90hngsfdjcpqqhgs1jl04s5gvk4co1@4ax.com> wrote in alt.atheism;
On Thu, 06 May 2004 21:54:04 GMT in alt.atheism, Christopher A. Lee
(Christopher A. Lee <calee@optonline.net>) said, directing the reply
to alt.atheism
On Wed, 5 May 2004 18:58:00 -0500, "towelie"
<bugoNOSPAM@hotmail.com> wrote:
TV's Doc Smartass wrote:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive
straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a
6-foot-deep concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the
eastbound lanes of Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Heaven must be awfully boring.
Necrophilia is dead boring.
But incest is only relatively boring.
and cow-fucking is bovine................
Masturbation is a toss up.
Navel-fucking is abdominal.
***** fucking children is the priests way of duplicating Moses's "miracle"
via 'the parting of the cheeks'.....
The Jesus *****....what a *****....truth in advertising... etc...
Lemme spleen somethin' to ya...yer spores to pun!
Too drained...sorry. Last few days haven't been fun at all.
At any rate, the cheek-spreading is obviously a commemoration of Moses'
parting of the Red Sea.
Yes.
Stoney
"Designated Rascal and Rapscallion
and
SCAMPERMEISTER!"
When in doubt, SCAMPER about!
When things are fair, SCAMPER everywhere!
When things are rough, can't SCAMPER enough!
/end humour alert
alt.atheism military veteran #11
{so much for the 'no atheists in foxholes' rubbish}
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| User: "Vic Sagerquist" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Sign... |
05 May 2004 09:05:43 PM |
|
|
One day in alt.atheism, Also Sprach towelie:
TV's Doc Smartass wrote:
"To get to heaven, turn right and keep going straight."
Now...if one were to take the sign literally, one would drive straight
through the church parking lot, through a fence, across a 6-foot-deep
concrete ditch, up an embankment...and into the eastbound lanes of
Interstate 10.
So heaven is at a spot on I-10 in Northwest Florida!
Heaven must be awfully boring.
If you hated church as a child, as I did, yes.
--
Vic Sagerquist
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
______________
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day.
Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.
--Timothy Jones
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
|
|
