| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"JTEM" |
| Date: |
13 Jun 2005 11:36:55 PM |
| Object: |
Church Signs Revisited |
Some of these (if not all) have to be old news
to the people here.
Anyhow, got back home after spending a few nights
out of town only to discover this in my mailbox. It
was sent froma friend's mother:
Holy Humor!!
1. There was a church that had problems with outsiders
parking in its parking lots, so they put up a sign:
CHURCH CAR PARKING - FOR MEMBERS ONLY,
TRESPASSERS WILL BE BAPTIZED!
That took care of the problem!
2. "No God - No Peace? Know God - Know Peace."
3. "Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"
4. "Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."
5. "Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
6. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding
stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are
inscribed and a headline that reads: "For fast, fast, fast
relief, take two tablets."
7. When the restaurant next to another Church put out a
sign with big red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the
church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open
on Sundays, too."
8. "People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot
water before you know how strong they are."
9. "Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily."
10. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?"
11. "Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"
12. "Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours
are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are
out of this world."
13. "It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."
14. "Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."
15. "If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
16. "If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."
17. "Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain
eternal fire insurance soon."
18. "This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ----- (U R)
19. "In the dark? Follow the Son."
20. "Running low on faith? Step in for a fill-up."
21. "If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."
.
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| User: "ArWeGod" |
|
| Title: Re: Church Signs Revisited |
14 Jun 2005 09:50:14 AM |
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"JTEM" <gymraven@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:ldednfEHKsjwizPfRVn-hQ@comcast.com...
10. "How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-smoking?"
This one is cute. I saw something funny but since I can't remember it, I
won't bore you by going on and on about it, just wasting everybody's
time and saying nothing at all because everyone has more important
things to do than read whatever drivel I decide to spout about how
insignificant my life is and the things I do have no meaning and such
talk. Really, what's the point of typing away at a keyboard to fill
peoples' mind with drivel?! I ask you?!
--
ArWeDrilled(I meant bored)
.
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