Your nose-bleed prayers and suicidal fasting have paid off in an
impressive 5 - award coup, courtesy of alt.usenet.kooks.

How proud you must be to be a laughable fool to the entire internet!
Praise yer lord for giving you the skills of a true loon.

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Chunk's June 2006 awards:

KOOK OF THE MONTH
Every month special recognition is given to someone whose Kookery is
judged to have surpassed all others. This is the Kook of the Month
award (KotM), voted (somewhat informally) by the denizens of AUK.


LOONEY MAROON AWARD
The Looney Maroon Award is given based on the amount of childish,
nonsensical, funny and downright ludicrous behaviour exhibited over a
particular month. It is not meant to award the greatest overall Kook
for that time, but is meant as a recognition of outstandingly looney
behaviour by an individual or group, real or anonymous, animate or
robotic. Nominees from Usenet and beyond are eligible.

To win the LMA, a candidate must most strongly meet a majority of the
following criteria:

-Show intelligence off the deep end of the bell curve
-Consistently say things that are hideously nonsensical
-Prove themselves wrong while pretending to be an 'expert'
-Exhibit a passion for metaphorically banging their head against a wall

-Be profoundly ignorant
-Persistently refuse to allow themselves to be enlightened
-Demonstrate a gift for false prophecy
-Regularly cite questionable sources of information as 'fact'

VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN "WEIRD SCIENCE" AWARD
Given to those inspired, pioneering visionaries with their worthy
inventions, institutions, and prides-of-joys, who have reasoned it out,
who KNOW The Answer, who would know how to use it to make for a better
humanity... if only somebody would listen to them.

UNABOMBER SURPRISE
This award is intended to honor those who have the gift for saying the
least with the most. Those who, for some reason only they may fathom,
more than all others crave the art of saying infinite amounts of
Nothing... and are PROUD OF IT.

GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
This award commemorates Kookistic achievement in the linguistic arts.
Of any language. To be awarded for categorical instances of such
achievement, but if a fully separate category of it is exhibited by
said Kook then they can win it more than once. There is no statute of
limitations here; one should award net.kooks of the past as well as the
present. Linguistic butchering is, we believe, a demonstrably proven
Kook Art. If the person's inability to use language comes from their
inexperience with it they do not qualify. Kooky language must come from
Kooky thought.