| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"johac" |
| Date: |
11 Jun 2006 03:23:21 AM |
| Object: |
Coulter and Phelps sittin' in a tree |
This better be parody.
---
Soulmates
Ann Coulter and Rev. Fred Phelps: a Romance
By MISSY COMLEY BEATTIE
Fred Phelps, pastor of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas,
has placed Ann Coulter's latest book, "Godless: The Church of
Liberalism," in every pew of his church much to the delight of his
congregation. "It's our new Bible," he's just pontificated to his flock.
Exhilarated by Coulter's wisdom, they don't care that Phelps' wife
Marge, mother of their 13 children, has left him.
Remember Fred? He's the minister whose mission is to rid the world of
homosexuals. His antics include attending military funerals, carrying
signs that read, "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" and "Thank God for IEDs,"
protesting a government he perceives to be gay-friendly.
Here's the story: Seems Marge was enraged when she saw her man's
reaction to Coulter. Mrs. Phelps emerged from the kitchen just in time
to see Matt Lauer's interview with Coulter and she certainly didn't like
what she saw. Ann, sporting a delicate necklace from which a cross hangs
and wearing one of her short, black sheaths to expose those long legs,
is Viagra to Phelps. When Fred's eyes fixed on Coulter's signature
move-flipping that blond hair off her face, Marge recognized "that look"
in her husband's eyes and confronted him with a vengeance. But there was
no stopping Fred. He immediately felt a hard-drive connection with
Coulter and ordered copies of her book.
After reading passages of "Godless," Pastor Phelps was heard repeating
verbatim Coulter's condemnations of the New Jersey 9/11 widows, the four
women who have pushed for an independent commission to investigate the
government's failures prior to that day in September when their husbands
perished.
"I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much," Fred
said over and over until Marge picked up the sign that said "Thank God
for Dead Soldiers" and started chasing him around the room with it.
And, then, Fred took another quote from Ann's book and launched it at
his wife, "By the way, how do we know their husbands weren't planning to
divorce these harpies?"
Marge, at this point, exhausted and slightly disoriented, said, "Who are
you calling a harpy?"
Now, Fred Phelps and Ann Coulter have a cellular family plan, first on
each other's speed dial. As soon as Marge returns from Mexico where she
went to get a quick divorce, Ann and Fred will tie the knot.
Questioned about the large age difference (think Anna Nicole and J.
Howard Marshall), Coulter beamed, "When you find the person who shares
your philosophy so perfectly, the decades are insignificant. Freddy and
I are soulmates."
---
http://www.counterpunch.org/beattie06082006.html
--
John Hachmann aa #1782
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"
-Voltaire
Contact - Throw a .net over the .com
.
|
|
| User: "Denis Loubet" |
|
| Title: Re: Coulter and Phelps sittin' in a tree |
11 Jun 2006 03:56:24 PM |
|
|
"johac" <jhachmann@sbcglobal.com> wrote in message
news:jhachmann-F7FF4A.01232111062006@news.giganews.com...
This better be parody.
---
Soulmates
Ann Coulter and Rev. Fred Phelps: a Romance
Oh, make it be true!
--
Denis Loubet
dloubet@io.com
http://www.io.com/~dloubet
http://www.ashenempires.com
.
|
|
|
| User: "johac" |
|
| Title: Re: Coulter and Phelps sittin' in a tree |
11 Jun 2006 11:49:20 PM |
|
|
In article <u6ednYgLqrPlHhHZnZ2dnUVZ_rmdnZ2d@io.com>,
"Denis Loubet" <dloubet@io.com> wrote:
"johac" <jhachmann@sbcglobal.com> wrote in message
news:jhachmann-F7FF4A.01232111062006@news.giganews.com...
This better be parody.
---
Soulmates
Ann Coulter and Rev. Fred Phelps: a Romance
Oh, make it be true!
Hell no! They might actually mate. Worse yet, they might breed!
--
John Hachmann aa #1782
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"
-Voltaire
Contact - Throw a .net over the .com
.
|
|
|
| User: "Colin Day" |
|
| Title: Re: Coulter and Phelps sittin' in a tree |
14 Jun 2006 03:12:24 PM |
|
|
johac wrote:
In article <u6ednYgLqrPlHhHZnZ2dnUVZ_rmdnZ2d@io.com>,
"Denis Loubet" <dloubet@io.com> wrote:
"johac" <jhachmann@sbcglobal.com> wrote in message
news:jhachmann-F7FF4A.01232111062006@news.giganews.com...
This better be parody.
---
Soulmates
Ann Coulter and Rev. Fred Phelps: a Romance
Oh, make it be true!
Hell no! They might actually mate. Worse yet, they might breed!
Some have said that Ms. Coulter lacks the proper equipment for that.
Colin Day aa #1500
.
|
|
|
| User: "King Nintendoid" |
|
| Title: Re: Coulter and Phelps sittin' in a tree |
14 Jun 2006 03:19:21 PM |
|
|
Colin Day wrote:
Some have said that Ms. Coulter lacks the proper equipment for that.
Colin Day aa #1500
Some have said that this is also true for Mr Phelps ;)
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "johac" |
|
| Title: Re: Coulter and Phelps sittin' in a tree |
16 Jun 2006 01:52:33 AM |
|
|
In article <I4_jg.18971$Qg.17459@tornado.southeast.rr.com>,
Colin Day <cday3@sc.rr.com> wrote:
johac wrote:
In article <u6ednYgLqrPlHhHZnZ2dnUVZ_rmdnZ2d@io.com>,
"Denis Loubet" <dloubet@io.com> wrote:
"johac" <jhachmann@sbcglobal.com> wrote in message
news:jhachmann-F7FF4A.01232111062006@news.giganews.com...
This better be parody.
---
Soulmates
Ann Coulter and Rev. Fred Phelps: a Romance
Oh, make it be true!
Hell no! They might actually mate. Worse yet, they might breed!
Some have said that Ms. Coulter lacks the proper equipment for that.
Well, I don't want to be the one to check that out. Ewww!
Colin Day aa #1500
--
John Hachmann aa #1782
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities"
-Voltaire
Contact - Throw a .net over the .com
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
|
|
