Posted on Sun, Aug. 28, 2005
Evolution debate spawns a saucy monster
BY DION LEFLER
The Wichita Eagle
Move over, Darwin. Stand aside, Intelligent Design.
The idea that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the world is demanding
equal time in Kansas biology classrooms.
In his corner are three moderate state school board members and a prominent
Topeka attorney. They say this concept makes about as much sense as
proposed science standards, favored by the board's religious conservative
majority, that encourage schools to criticize evolution while they teach
it.
Bobby Henderson of Corvallis, Ore., created the tongue-in-cheek deity and
an accompanying mythology on the origin of mankind to satirize the Kansas
Board of Education's ongoing flap over evolutionary theory.
Since June, when the spaghetti monster made his Internet debut, the parody
religion has grown into a full-fledged Internet phenomenon.
Henderson said his Web site -- www.venganza.org -- has had 19 million
visits, including 4 million in two days last week.
A search for "Flying Spaghetti Monster" on the Google search engine turns
up 96,000 hits. Yahoo offers 171,000 Web pages on the topic.
"It's amazing how big FSM has gotten," Henderson said.
Moderate board members report they've received hundreds of e-mails as a
result of Henderson's effort and that his Web site has become a focal point
for discontent with recent board moves to alter Kansas' teaching standards.
A bizarre creation
Although invisible, the spaghetti monster is generally depicted as a giant
wad of pasta with two eyestalks flanked by a pair of meatballs.
Spaghetti monsterism, or "pastafarianism," boasts a cosmology as bizarre as
its deity.
According to its creed, the monster created the world starting with a
mountain, trees and a midget, and continues to guide human affairs with his
"noodly appendage." Heaven is depicted as having a stripper factory and a
beer volcano.
True pastafarians are expected to dress in pirate regalia, in keeping with
their founder's discovery of a statistical correlation between global
warming and the decline in the number of pirates since the 1800s.
The craze has spawned mugs and shirts. One, headed "Kansas Museum of
Science," depicts a stick-figure caveman riding a dinosaur over the caption
"5,000 years ago, man conquered the huge beasts who roamed the lands."
'Monster' wants hearing
The Kansas assault on teaching only evolution is led by proponents of
Intelligent Design, a concept holding that life is so complex and diverse,
it had to have been guided by a higher power.
The idea has gained credence as high as the White House.
President Bush recently told reporters in Texas that he believes
Intelligent
Design should be taught alongside evolution, "so people can understand what
the debate is about."
"I think that part of education is to expose people to different schools of
thought," Bush said. "You're asking me whether or not people ought to be
exposed to different ideas, the answer is yes."
Henderson mocked that kind of thinking in a letter to all 10 Kansas Board
of Education members.
"I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear
multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes
the most sense to them," Henderson wrote to the board.
"I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are
given equal time in our science classrooms... one third time for
Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one
third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable
evidence."
Three state school board members who oppose changing the teaching standards
on evolution have responded to Henderson -- favorably.
Among their comments, as posted on Henderson's site:
The new version (of science standards) changes the very definition of
science from "seeking natural explanations" to "seeking logical
explanations." That is why I think FSMism is able to be included. It is as
"logical" as any other theory.
--Carol Rupe, District 8
I am supporting the recommendations of the science committee and am
currently in the minority. I think your theory is wonderful and possibly
some of the majority members will be willing to support it.
--Janet Waugh, District 1.
"Thanks for the laugh... I will add your theory to a long list of
alternative theories I intend to introduce when it is appropriate. I am
practicing how to do this with a straight face, which is difficult since
it's such a ridiculous subject; it is also very sad that we are even having
the discussion."
--Sue Gamble, District 2
Joke turns serious
Behind the yuks over the spaghetti monster, political forces are on the
march. And humor has been one of the most potent weapons for the
pro-evolution side.
The last time board conservatives de-emphasized evolution in state
instruction standards, Kansas became the butt of jokes for TV humorists and
talk-show hosts coast to coast. That led to moderates taking control of the
board in 2000 and reversing the conservatives' actions.
Conservatives recaptured the board majority last year, reviving the
anti-evolution crusade.
Attorney John Calvert, leader of the Intelligent Design Network, based in
Lake Quivira, is not at all amused by the spaghetti monster.
He said it's part of a concerted effort of "character assassination" by
evolution supporters whose goal is to hold their opponents up to ridicule.
"It doesn't surprise me," he said. "This is a standard battle tactic."
He pointed to a February posting in an Internet discussion group in which
Liz Craig, a former spokeswoman for the pro-evolution Kansas Citizens for
Science, outlined strategy for dealing with the evolution critics.
"My strategy at this point is the same as it was in 1999: notify the
national and local media about what's going on and portray
(anti-evolutionists) in the harshest light possible, as political
opportunists, evangelical activists, ignoramuses, breakers of rules,
unprincipled bullies, etc.," the posting said in part. "There may (be) no
way to head off another science standards debacle, but we can sure make
them look like asses as they do what they do."
Craig said she regrets the posting, a solely personal opinion that does not
reflect the policies or strategy of the science group. She said her only
connection with the spaghetti monster has been friends sending her e-mails
about it.
Calvert conceded there's nothing directly linking the spaghetti monster to
Craig's posting. But, he said, "I think it's consistent with the strategy."
Calvert said he's convinced that the spaghetti monster and other attacks on
Intelligent Design will backfire.
"If that's all they can do to support evolutionary theory, they've got a
big problem with their theory," he said. "What history will show is... the
spaghetti is not going to be on my face, it's going to be on somebody
else's face."
Lawyers debate 'theory'
Pedro Irigonegaray, a Topeka lawyer who defended evolution at board
hearings in May, hasn't been touched by the noodly appendage.
But, he said, "I have made myself available to the spaghetti monster as
counsel of record, at no charge."
Why?
"When I was in the hearings, I really felt like I was back in the 16th
century," he said. "Why not allow every ridiculous notion to be taught in
science classes?"
Irigonegaray said he's fearful the anti-evolution push could do
"immeasurable harm" by enforcing "willful ignorance" on Kansas
schoolchildren.
While evolution isn't above criticism, "the question is, do we criticize it
with science, or through half-baked ideas, hocus-pocus, intuition and
guesses?" he said.
Calvert said the new board standards will simply broaden the debate over
origins for the benefit of all.
"If only natural explanations are allowed, it (evolution) has got to be
true," he said. "Instead of engaging us in an honest debate, they're doing
spaghetti monsters. That's not scientific."
He noted that pro-evolution scientists boycotted the board hearing.
"They're not addressing the substance of it," he said. "What (evolution
supporters) do is use pejoratives and false claims. That will catch up with
the opposition."
Board members divided
Conservative state school board member Kathy Martin of Clay Center said the
spaghetti monster is only funny at first glance. "So they really think...
serious criticism of evolution is a joke," she said.
"I think probably someone who is very creative doesn't have enough to do,"
she added. "I think I'll continue to eat my spaghetti and not believe in
it."
Martin said she's received probably "dozens" of e-mails about the spaghetti
monster. But, she added, "I don't consider it a legitimate movement at
all."
"I don't mind the e-mails; I can just delete those," she said.
But when she got a phone message at her home from a man who politely urged
her to support the teaching of spaghetti monster theory in the schools, she
made a harassment complaint and turned the name and number he left on her
machine over to the sheriff's department.
While Martin is deleting her e-mails, moderate board members are answering
them to remind senders that they're in the board minority favoring
evolution.
Board member Sue Gamble of Shawnee said she's received 676 messages
criticizing the board majority's stand -- and most cite the spaghetti
monster.
Gamble said she's been sending a reply asking the e-mailers if they would
be willing to work to help unseat majority board members in next year's
election. So far, 474 have volunteered, she said.
"I was on the board when we did this in 1999," said board member Janet
Waugh of Kansas City, Kan. Then, "we had a lot of people who were really
insulting, calling us hillbillies, hicks, whatever they could think of.
"This time they're saying go forth, but make sure you include all these
other ideas."
She said that while the spaghetti monster dominates the message traffic, a
growing segment is advocating "intelligent falling," a creation of
The Onion, a satirical newspaper.
Intelligent falling spoofs Intelligent Design by contending that gravity is
an unproved theory and students should be taught the possibility that
objects fall because a higher being is pushing them down.
Waugh said she doesn't expect any immediate change. The board's factions
are set in stone, with six members favoring a critical approach to
evolution and four opposing.
But she said she is heartened by the messages, from as far away as
Australia.
"I think it's exciting that this many people in the world are interested in
making sure our kids get a good education," she said.
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