Divine Plot To Block TV Miracles Exposed



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Topic: Religions > Atheism
User: "Seun Osewa"
Date: 05 Jan 2006 07:04:10 PM
Object: Divine Plot To Block TV Miracles Exposed
Anointed Pastor Chris Oyakhilome of Christ Embassy has exposed a
plot by the Almighty God and his angels to put a stop to the broad-
casting of miracles on Nigerian television. During the shocking expose,
he narrated how all efforts to get his miracles verified have been mys-
teriously frustrated.
When the NBC announced a ban on the broadcasting of unverified
miracles on Nigerian TV stations, Pentecostal Christians were not
bothered because they knew for sure that miracles performed by their
pastors were genuine and would easily be verified by doctors and
investigators in their various congregations.
Yet more than 2 years later, the men of God have not yet been able to
present even one substantiated miracle. They have been forced to stop
broadcasting their miracle services, healing meetings, and
power-packed crusades because, as Pastor Chris revealed, the Lord
Almighty has been hindering them.
He went on to give us various examples of cases in which God's
interference prevented his team of investigators from being able to
prove the genuineness of some previously televised miracles:
* The case of a man who was raised from the dead during a crusade.
After collecting a generous amount of money to rebuild his
newly-regained life, he and his friends never came back to the church.
God must have made them ungrateful for their miracle or forgetful so
they didn't remember the address of the church.
* The case of the blind whose eyes were opened, the lame who
walked, or deaf and dumb whose tongues were loosed and ears opened
during atmosphere for miracles. Their family members were unable to
remember that they had suffered for years under the curse of
blindness, lameness, or deafness and dumbness for years before their
miraculous release by the Holy Spirit.
* The case of a woman who was miraculously healed of HIV/AIDS in
healing school. When investigators visited her house to retrieve the
HIV test she took prior to her healing, they couldn't find it. Because
God had hidden it in a safe place. When they visited her doctor, God
erased his memory so he couldn't remember ever having tested the
woman for HIV!
Pastor Chris says he knows for sure that Satan is not to blame for
these cases, because "Satan cannot operate in the presence of men of
faith who are walking in the anointing ... hallelujah!" All the miracle
investigators are spirit-filled born again lieutenants in God's army
and therefore nothing but an act of God could prevent them from
accomplishing their mission.
However, it is difficult to understand why God would be working to
discredit his own miracles. Perhaps God is afraid that almost all of
those who witness the verified miracles on TV will get converted and
heaven will be over-crowded? No one knows for sure.
Source: http://www.naijarita.com/religion/god-blocking-tv-miracles
Publication: http://www.naijarita.com/
.

User: "Robibnikoff"

Title: Re: Divine Plot To Block TV Miracles Exposed 06 Jan 2006 11:31:00 AM
"Seun Osewa" <seun.osewa@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:1136509450.352029.12670@g44g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...

Anointed Pastor Chris Oyakhilome of Christ Embassy has exposed a
plot by the Almighty God and his angels to put a stop to the broad-
casting of miracles on Nigerian television. During the shocking expose,

he narrated how all efforts to get his miracles verified have been mys-
teriously frustrated.

When the NBC announced a ban on the broadcasting of unverified
miracles on Nigerian TV stations, Pentecostal Christians were not
bothered because they knew for sure that miracles performed by their
pastors were genuine and would easily be verified by doctors and
investigators in their various congregations.

Yet more than 2 years later, the men of God have not yet been able to
present even one substantiated miracle. They have been forced to stop
broadcasting their miracle services, healing meetings, and
power-packed crusades because, as Pastor Chris revealed, the Lord
Almighty has been hindering them.

He went on to give us various examples of cases in which God's
interference prevented his team of investigators from being able to
prove the genuineness of some previously televised miracles:

* The case of a man who was raised from the dead during a crusade.
After collecting a generous amount of money to rebuild his
newly-regained life, he and his friends never came back to the church.
God must have made them ungrateful for their miracle or forgetful so
they didn't remember the address of the church.
* The case of the blind whose eyes were opened, the lame who
walked, or deaf and dumb whose tongues were loosed and ears opened
during atmosphere for miracles. Their family members were unable to
remember that they had suffered for years under the curse of
blindness, lameness, or deafness and dumbness for years before their
miraculous release by the Holy Spirit.
* The case of a woman who was miraculously healed of HIV/AIDS in
healing school. When investigators visited her house to retrieve the
HIV test she took prior to her healing, they couldn't find it. Because
God had hidden it in a safe place. When they visited her doctor, God
erased his memory so he couldn't remember ever having tested the
woman for HIV!

Pastor Chris says he knows for sure that Satan is not to blame for
these cases, because "Satan cannot operate in the presence of men of
faith who are walking in the anointing ... hallelujah!" All the miracle
investigators are spirit-filled born again lieutenants in God's army
and therefore nothing but an act of God could prevent them from
accomplishing their mission.

However, it is difficult to understand why God would be working to
discredit his own miracles. Perhaps God is afraid that almost all of
those who witness the verified miracles on TV will get converted and
heaven will be over-crowded? No one knows for sure.

Source: http://www.naijarita.com/religion/god-blocking-tv-miracles
Publication: http://www.naijarita.com/

Pardon me, but what the hell is wrong with you?
--
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557
.
User: "Phil Roberts"

Title: Re: Divine Plot To Block TV Miracles Exposed 06 Jan 2006 04:39:40 PM
"Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in news:427no0F1hq2n6U1
@individual.net:

Pardon me, but what the hell is wrong with you?

http://www.naijarita.com/
Take a scroll to the bottom of the page
Welcome to Naijarita News!
December 22nd, 2005 in General
The Naijarita News website aims to entertain Nigerians by posting hilarious
and thought-provoking ***fake news***.
--
.


User: "Chris Krolczyk"

Title: Re: Divine Plot To Block TV Miracles Exposed 05 Jan 2006 07:18:52 PM
Seun Osewa wrote:
(snip)
I knew that Art Bulla showing up would set a crappy precedent
for t.o; now I know how crappy a precedent it was.
(newsgroups snipped)
.
User: "Bill Wayne"

Title: Re: Divine Plot To Block TV Miracles Exposed 05 Jan 2006 07:41:13 PM
Chris Krolczyk wrote:

Seun Osewa wrote:

(snip)

I knew that Art Bulla showing up would set a crappy precedent
for t.o; now I know how crappy a precedent it was.

(newsgroups snipped)

Actually, I'm thinking this is probably a parody. C'mon, God blocking
miracles? Also, if you look at the site s/he cited, you can see it is
intending to be humous. (see http://tinyurl.com/dlb4z)
Bill
.
User: "Chris Krolczyk"

Title: Re: Divine Plot To Block TV Miracles Exposed 10 Jan 2006 08:04:48 PM
Bill Wayne wrote:

Chris Krolczyk wrote:

Seun Osewa wrote:

(snip)

I knew that Art Bulla showing up would set a crappy precedent
for t.o; now I know how crappy a precedent it was.

(newsgroups snipped)


Actually, I'm thinking this is probably a parody. C'mon, God blocking
miracles? Also, if you look at the site s/he cited, you can see it is
intending to be humous. (see http://tinyurl.com/dlb4z)

I considers meself more than adequately Lokied, Guv'nor.
Still, with all of the x-posting loonballs of late...
-Chris Krolczyk
.

User: ""

Title: Re: Divine Plot To Block TV Miracles Exposed 05 Jan 2006 08:42:11 PM
Bill Wayne wrote:

Chris Krolczyk wrote:

Seun Osewa wrote:

(snip)

I knew that Art Bulla showing up would set a crappy precedent
for t.o; now I know how crappy a precedent it was.

(newsgroups snipped)


Actually, I'm thinking this is probably a parody. C'mon, God blocking
miracles? Also, if you look at the site s/he cited, you can see it is
intending to be humous. (see http://tinyurl.com/dlb4z)

So "najarita" is African for "onion"?
Having said that, it isn't much to do with our main business of
evolution (in talk.origins), except that if resurrection, healing,
etc., were within the reach of humans, there'd be quite strong
selection pressure - even if the individuals who express the
raising-the-dead gene are celibate themselves.
However, in the ways that we do heal ourselves, we're mostly pretty
damn good at it.
.


User: "John Baker"

Title: Re: Divine Plot To Block TV Miracles Exposed 05 Jan 2006 10:53:32 PM
On 5 Jan 2006 17:18:52 -0800, "Chris Krolczyk"
<chriskrolczyk@hotmail.com> wrote:

Seun Osewa wrote:

(snip)

I knew that Art Bulla showing up would set a crappy precedent
for t.o; now I know how crappy a precedent it was.

Seemed like a pretty obvious parody to me.


(newsgroups snipped)

.


User: ""

Title: Re: Divine Plot To Block TV Miracles Exposed 05 Jan 2006 09:45:18 PM
Seun Osewa wrote:

Anointed Pastor Chris Oyakhilome of Christ Embassy has exposed a
plot by the Almighty God and his angels to put a stop to the broad-
casting of miracles on Nigerian television. During the shocking expose,

he narrated how all efforts to get his miracles verified have been mys-
teriously frustrated.

When the NBC announced a ban on the broadcasting of unverified
miracles on Nigerian TV stations, Pentecostal Christians were not
bothered because they knew for sure that miracles performed by their
pastors were genuine and would easily be verified by doctors and
investigators in their various congregations.

Yet more than 2 years later, the men of God have not yet been able to
present even one substantiated miracle. They have been forced to stop
broadcasting their miracle services, healing meetings, and
power-packed crusades because, as Pastor Chris revealed, the Lord
Almighty has been hindering them.

He went on to give us various examples of cases in which God's
interference prevented his team of investigators from being able to
prove the genuineness of some previously televised miracles:

* The case of a man who was raised from the dead during a crusade.
After collecting a generous amount of money to rebuild his
newly-regained life, he and his friends never came back to the church.
God must have made them ungrateful for their miracle or forgetful so
they didn't remember the address of the church.
* The case of the blind whose eyes were opened, the lame who
walked, or deaf and dumb whose tongues were loosed and ears opened
during atmosphere for miracles. Their family members were unable to
remember that they had suffered for years under the curse of
blindness, lameness, or deafness and dumbness for years before their
miraculous release by the Holy Spirit.
* The case of a woman who was miraculously healed of HIV/AIDS in
healing school. When investigators visited her house to retrieve the
HIV test she took prior to her healing, they couldn't find it. Because
God had hidden it in a safe place. When they visited her doctor, God
erased his memory so he couldn't remember ever having tested the
woman for HIV!

Pastor Chris says he knows for sure that Satan is not to blame for
these cases, because "Satan cannot operate in the presence of men of
faith who are walking in the anointing ... hallelujah!" All the miracle
investigators are spirit-filled born again lieutenants in God's army
and therefore nothing but an act of God could prevent them from
accomplishing their mission.

However, it is difficult to understand why God would be working to
discredit his own miracles. Perhaps God is afraid that almost all of
those who witness the verified miracles on TV will get converted and
heaven will be over-crowded? No one knows for sure.

Source: http://www.naijarita.com/religion/god-blocking-tv-miracles
Publication: http://www.naijarita.com/

Hahahahahahaha!
Nice! I have bookmarked your newspaper.
Kermit,
posting from talk.origins, northern high plains, USA
.


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