| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Budikka666" |
| Date: |
17 May 2005 06:48:34 PM |
| Object: |
Do You Have a Thinking Problem? |
This is going around in email right now. I never saw it before and
have no idea who originated it, but it's funny.
Budikka
*** *** ***
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
then
- to loosen up. Inevitably though, one think led to another and soon I
was
more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone. It was to relax, I told myself, even though I
secretly knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important
to
me. Eventually, I was thinking all the time. That was when things
began to
sour at home. One evening I'd turned off the TV and asked my wife
about the
meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
mix,
but I couldn't stop myself. I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I
could read Thoreau and Hobbes. I would return to the office
light-headed
and bemused, asking, "What is it exactly we're doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen: I like you and it
hurts me
to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't
stop
thinking on the job' you'll have to find other employment."
This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my
conversation
with the boss.
"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking more and more..."
"I know you've been thinking," she said, "And I want a divorce!"
"Honey, it's not that serious!"
"It is serious," she said, her lower lip a-quiver. "You think as much
as
college professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if
you
keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"
"But that's a faulty syllogism," I said in frustration. She exploded
in
tears of rage and impotence, but I was in no mood to deal with the
emotional
drama. "I'm going to the library," I snarled, stomping out the door. I
headed for the library, looking for my Nietzsche niche.
I cruised into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and hurried up to
the
big glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed.
To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that
night. Leaning on the cold, unfeeling glass, whimpering for Socrates,
my
eye lit upon a poster. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?"
it
asked.
You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinker's
Anonymous poster. Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering
thinker.
I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational
video
(last week it was "Porky's"), then we share experiences about how we
avoided
thinking since the last meeting.
I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just
seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. Now, the road
to
recovery is nearly complete for me. This weekend, I even plan on going
to
church.
.
|
|
| User: "" |
|
| Title: Re: Do You Have a Thinking Problem? |
18 May 2005 11:15:30 AM |
|
|
Budikka666 wrote:
This is going around in email right now. I never saw it before and
have no idea who originated it, but it's funny.
Budikka
*** *** ***
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
then
- to loosen up. Inevitably though, one think led to another and soon I
was
more than just a social thinker.
(snip)
Very funny ... thanks
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Andrew Louden" |
|
| Title: Re: Do You Have a Thinking Problem? |
18 May 2005 08:53:49 PM |
|
|
On 17 May 2005 16:48:34 -0700, "Budikka666" <budikka1@netscape.net>
wrote:
This is going around in email right now. I never saw it before and
have no idea who originated it, but it's funny.
Budikka
*** *** ***
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and
then
- to loosen up. Inevitably though, one think led to another and soon I
was
more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone. It was to relax, I told myself, even though I
secretly knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important
to
me. Eventually, I was thinking all the time. That was when things
began to
sour at home. One evening I'd turned off the TV and asked my wife
about the
meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't
<snip>
And the moral of the story, god hates people who think!
---
"Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night." -- Isaac Asimov
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