| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Elroy Willis" |
| Date: |
01 Apr 2005 09:18:44 AM |
| Object: |
Dying Pope Admits Christianity is a Fraud |
VATICAN CITY (EAP) -- In what appears to be a final act of admission
or confession by Pope John Paul II on his death bed, the Holy Pontiff
Maximus said yesterday that he wants to "come clean" and admitted that
Christianity and the Roman Catholic Church are nothing more than a
fraud that got out of hand caused by the greed of the church.
"I've felt guilty about it for the last 20 years, and it's time that
everyone else knows," he confessed to two different archbishops inside
the Vatican who visited his bedside during the past week.
"He told us to spread the word, and that he wishes the Vatican to
sell off everything it owns to help feed the poor and destitute, just
like Jesus said to do in Matthew 19:21," said one of the archbishops
who had second thoughts about revealing the truth, but decided to come
clean following the lead of the sickly pope.
"I know it means the end of my job and the end of my faith, but I
feel like honesty is the best policy," he said.
The estimated net worth of the Roman Catholic Church is reported to
be nearly 20 billion dollars according to conservative estimates, and
that will help to feed and clothe a lot of hungry and homeless people.
"Neither Jesus nor His Father or Mother Mary in Heaven has stepped in
to help cure me of my Parkinson's disease, so I want part of the money
made from selling off the Vatican treasures to go towards scientific
research for an actual cure for the disease, not towards encouraging
more people to utter useless prayers to God and His Son and Mother
who I no longer have faith in."
"This will probably not go over very well with the faithful, and it
might even cause a worldwide panic, but the truth should prevail in
the end," he said.
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
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| User: "Elroy Willis" |
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| Title: Re: Elroy wants to "come clean" |
01 Apr 2005 01:42:24 PM |
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Wayne Delia <wmd@deliafamily.net> wrote in alt.atheism
Elroy only got a B+ for the original, due to a problem with the Pope
actually being able to "say" anything yesterday.
Heck, the family of Terri Schiavo said that she was talking to them
live and well up until she died yesterday, so what's the problem?
B+? Hmph! :)
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
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| User: "Wayne Delia" |
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| Title: Re: Elroy wants to "come clean" |
01 Apr 2005 07:50:35 PM |
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Elroy Willis wrote:
Wayne Delia <wmd@deliafamily.net> wrote in alt.atheism
Elroy only got a B+ for the original, due to a problem with the Pope
actually being able to "say" anything yesterday.
Heck, the family of Terri Schiavo said that she was talking to them
live and well up until she died yesterday, so what's the problem?
B+? Hmph! :)
OK. A-minus.
WMD
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: Elroy wants to "come clean" |
03 Apr 2005 03:10:51 PM |
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On Sat, 02 Apr 2005 01:50:35 GMT, Wayne Delia <wmd@deliafamily.net>
wrote:
Elroy Willis wrote:
Wayne Delia <wmd@deliafamily.net> wrote in alt.atheism
Elroy only got a B+ for the original, due to a problem with the Pope
actually being able to "say" anything yesterday.
Heck, the family of Terri Schiavo said that she was talking to them
live and well up until she died yesterday, so what's the problem?
B+? Hmph! :)
OK. A-minus.
LOL!!!!!
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
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| User: "dgillesp" |
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| Title: Re: Elroy wants to "come clean" |
01 Apr 2005 03:11:40 PM |
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Wayne Delia wrote:
dgillesp wrote:
Elroy Willis wants to "come clean" and take full responsibility for
claiming that Christianity and the Roman Catholic Church is nothing more
than a fraud that got out of hand caused by the greed of the church.
<snip>
Nope, it still falls flat on its face. I'll give it an F+ (for effort),
but you've got a long way to go. Elroy only got a B+ for the original,
That's it! You people have no mercy. Whatever happened to gentler,
kinder folk who would always say, "Oh, well, I'll give you an **A** for
effort"?
Denny
We'll get you a sense of humor yet.
WMD
--
Wayne Delia,
A.A. #61 - most home runs in a Major League season by a non-juiced player
EAC Darts Team - Position: Goalie
Broadcasting live from Red Hat Linux 9
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: Elroy wants to "come clean" |
03 Apr 2005 03:12:35 PM |
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On Fri, 01 Apr 2005 16:11:40 -0500, dgillesp <dgillesp@nospam.net>
wrote:
Wayne Delia wrote:
dgillesp wrote:
Elroy Willis wants to "come clean" and take full responsibility for
claiming that Christianity and the Roman Catholic Church is nothing more
than a fraud that got out of hand caused by the greed of the church.
<snip>
Nope, it still falls flat on its face. I'll give it an F+ (for effort),
but you've got a long way to go. Elroy only got a B+ for the original,
That's it! You people have no mercy. Whatever happened to gentler,
kinder folk who would always say, "Oh, well, I'll give you an **A** for
effort"?
Irony meters in a three state radius around W. VA. explode.
Charges the lying drooling idiot that worships a fictional entity
specializing in eternal torture.
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.
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| User: "Meteorite Debris" |
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| Title: Re: Dying Pope Admits Christianity is a Fraud |
01 Apr 2005 05:40:31 PM |
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On Fri, 01 Apr 2005 15:18:44 GMT the ET form known as Elroy
Willis<elroywillis@swbell.net> sent a radio signal across the vast
expanse of deep space -._.--._.--._.--._.--._.--._.
VATICAN CITY (EAP) -- In what appears to be a final act of admission
or confession by Pope John Paul II on his death bed, the Holy Pontiff
Maximus said yesterday that he wants to "come clean" and admitted that
Christianity and the Roman Catholic Church are nothing more than a
fraud that got out of hand caused by the greed of the church.
"I've felt guilty about it for the last 20 years, and it's time that
everyone else knows," he confessed to two different archbishops inside
the Vatican who visited his bedside during the past week.
"He told us to spread the word, and that he wishes the Vatican to
sell off everything it owns to help feed the poor and destitute, just
like Jesus said to do in Matthew 19:21," said one of the archbishops
who had second thoughts about revealing the truth, but decided to come
clean following the lead of the sickly pope.
"I know it means the end of my job and the end of my faith, but I
feel like honesty is the best policy," he said.
The estimated net worth of the Roman Catholic Church is reported to
be nearly 20 billion dollars according to conservative estimates, and
that will help to feed and clothe a lot of hungry and homeless people.
"Neither Jesus nor His Father or Mother Mary in Heaven has stepped in
to help cure me of my Parkinson's disease, so I want part of the money
made from selling off the Vatican treasures to go towards scientific
research for an actual cure for the disease, not towards encouraging
more people to utter useless prayers to God and His Son and Mother
who I no longer have faith in."
"This will probably not go over very well with the faithful, and it
might even cause a worldwide panic, but the truth should prevail in
the end," he said.
Good one. I like death bed conversions :-)
--
epicurus1*at*optusnet*dot*com*dot*au
apatriot #1, atheist #1417,
Chief EAC prophet
Jason Gastrich is praying for me on 8 January 2009
http://members.optusnet.com.au/~pk1956/
Apatriotism Yahoo Group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/apatriotism
Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing that they themselves
were dead and in Heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in
Hell.
-Mencken
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| User: "Dubh Ghall" |
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| Title: Re: Dying Pope Admits Christianity is a Fraud |
02 Apr 2005 01:20:37 PM |
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On Fri, 01 Apr 2005 15:18:44 GMT, Elroy Willis <elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote:
VATICAN CITY (EAP) -- In what appears to be a final act of admission
or confession by Pope John Paul II on his death bed, the Holy Pontiff
Maximus said yesterday that he wants to "come clean" and admitted that
Christianity and the Roman Catholic Church are nothing more than a
fraud that got out of hand caused by the greed of the church.
"I've felt guilty about it for the last 20 years, and it's time that
everyone else knows," he confessed to two different archbishops inside
the Vatican who visited his bedside during the past week.
"He told us to spread the word, and that he wishes the Vatican to
sell off everything it owns to help feed the poor and destitute, just
like Jesus said to do in Matthew 19:21," said one of the archbishops
who had second thoughts about revealing the truth, but decided to come
clean following the lead of the sickly pope.
"I know it means the end of my job and the end of my faith, but I
feel like honesty is the best policy," he said.
The estimated net worth of the Roman Catholic Church is reported to
be nearly 20 billion dollars according to conservative estimates, and
that will help to feed and clothe a lot of hungry and homeless people.
"Neither Jesus nor His Father or Mother Mary in Heaven has stepped in
to help cure me of my Parkinson's disease, so I want part of the money
made from selling off the Vatican treasures to go towards scientific
research for an actual cure for the disease, not towards encouraging
more people to utter useless prayers to God and His Son and Mother
who I no longer have faith in."
"This will probably not go over very well with the faithful, and it
might even cause a worldwide panic, but the truth should prevail in
the end," he said.
Thank goodness our intrepid EAP reporter was there to tell the world, otherwise
another nasty little papal secret, could well have been locked away and
forgotten.
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| User: "Robert the NOLA Atheist" |
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| Title: Re: Dying Pope Admits Christianity is a Fraud |
01 Apr 2005 11:25:59 AM |
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This is obviously a fraud as the sycophants around the Pope would kill
him with their own bare hands before ever allowing the truth about the
hoax known as Xtianity to become public knowledge. I wonder if that
is why they cut on his throat to keep him from telling the truth?
Hmmmm, we need an investigation immediately! To the Popemobile Altar
Boy!
On Fri, 01 Apr 2005 15:18:44 GMT, Elroy Willis
<elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote:
VATICAN CITY (EAP) -- In what appears to be a final act of admission
or confession by Pope John Paul II on his death bed, the Holy Pontiff
Maximus said yesterday that he wants to "come clean" and admitted that
Christianity and the Roman Catholic Church are nothing more than a
fraud that got out of hand caused by the greed of the church.
SNIP
"This will probably not go over very well with the faithful, and it
might even cause a worldwide panic, but the truth should prevail in
the end," he said.
"[The Bill of Rights is] designed to protect individuals and minorities against the tyranny of the majority, but it's also designed to protect the people against bureaucracy, against the government." -- Judge Lawrence Tribe
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| User: "Ash" |
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| Title: Re: Dying Pope Admits Christianity is a Fraud |
01 Apr 2005 12:14:29 PM |
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Robert the NOLA Atheist wrote:
This is obviously a fraud as the sycophants around the Pope would kill
him with their own bare hands before ever allowing the truth about the
hoax known as Xtianity to become public knowledge.
EAP is not AP it is the Evil Athiest Press, a fictional press
assocaition. Elroy has a "Religion in the Nerws" site where he has lots
of these sort of stories. Bizarrely, one of them manage to become an
urban legend
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| User: "Elroy Willis" |
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| Title: Re: Dying Pope Admits Christianity is a Fraud |
01 Apr 2005 12:27:30 PM |
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Ash <ashamanic@winterfell73.fsnet.co.uk> wrote in alt.atheism
Robert the NOLA Atheist wrote:
This is obviously a fraud as the sycophants around the Pope would kill
him with their own bare hands before ever allowing the truth about the
hoax known as Xtianity to become public knowledge.
EAP is not AP it is the Evil Athiest Press, a fictional press
assocaition. Elroy has a "Religion in the Nerws" site where he has lots
of these sort of stories. Bizarrely, one of them manage to become an
urban legend
It actually started out as "Elroy's Associated Press," but the evil
atheists around here assumed it meant "Evil Atheist Press."
Oh well...
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
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| User: "Ash" |
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| Title: Re: Dying Pope Admits Christianity is a Fraud |
01 Apr 2005 02:53:07 PM |
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Elroy Willis wrote:
Ash <ashamanic@winterfell73.fsnet.co.uk> wrote in alt.atheism
Robert the NOLA Atheist wrote:
This is obviously a fraud as the sycophants around the Pope would kill
him with their own bare hands before ever allowing the truth about the
hoax known as Xtianity to become public knowledge.
EAP is not AP it is the Evil Athiest Press, a fictional press
assocaition. Elroy has a "Religion in the News" site where he has lots
of these sort of stories. Bizarrely, one of them manage to become an
urban legend
It actually started out as "Elroy's Associated Press," but the evil
atheists around here assumed it meant "Evil Atheist Press."
Oh well...
Oh. The Villains! I'll try and remember that in future. Still, some
good real stories recently
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| User: "Robert the NOLA Atheist" |
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| Title: Re: Dying Pope Admits Christianity is a Fraud |
01 Apr 2005 04:44:05 PM |
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I realize it was a fictitious bit of humor. I was simply making the
observation that in reality the evil Catholic cabal would kill the
Pope, Mary and their mommy if they thought their power might be
threatened. Urban legends give me a headache since most claim Bush is
the messiah (an upgrade to version 2.0 and he's not Jewish!) or that
gawd has America on a mission to spread the message of the love of
jesus by killing everyone else who opposes his love. Yada yada yada
or should I say Yoda Yoda Yoda given the upcoming movie...
On Fri, 01 Apr 2005 19:14:29 +0100, Ash
<ashamanic@winterfell73.fsnet.co.uk> wrote:
Robert the NOLA Atheist wrote:
This is obviously a fraud as the sycophants around the Pope would kill
him with their own bare hands before ever allowing the truth about the
hoax known as Xtianity to become public knowledge.
EAP is not AP it is the Evil Athiest Press, a fictional press
assocaition. Elroy has a "Religion in the Nerws" site where he has lots
of these sort of stories. Bizarrely, one of them manage to become an
urban legend
"[The Bill of Rights is] designed to protect individuals and minorities against the tyranny of the majority, but it's also designed to protect the people against bureaucracy, against the government." -- Judge Lawrence Tribe
.
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| User: "Vic Sagerquist" |
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| Title: Re: Dying Pope Admits Christianity is a Fraud |
01 Apr 2005 10:28:13 AM |
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on 01 Apr 2005 in alt.atheism, Elroy Willis dropped trou, farted, whirled,
then shouted:
VATICAN CITY (EAP) -- In what appears to be a final act of admission
or confession by Pope John Paul II on his death bed, the Holy Pontiff
Maximus said yesterday that he wants to "come clean" and admitted that
Christianity and the Roman Catholic Church are nothing more than a
fraud that got out of hand caused by the greed of the church.
"I've felt guilty about it for the last 20 years, and it's time that
everyone else knows," he confessed to two different archbishops inside
the Vatican who visited his bedside during the past week.
"He told us to spread the word, and that he wishes the Vatican to
sell off everything it owns to help feed the poor and destitute, just
like Jesus said to do in Matthew 19:21," said one of the archbishops
who had second thoughts about revealing the truth, but decided to come
clean following the lead of the sickly pope.
"I know it means the end of my job and the end of my faith, but I
feel like honesty is the best policy," he said.
The estimated net worth of the Roman Catholic Church is reported to
be nearly 20 billion dollars according to conservative estimates, and
that will help to feed and clothe a lot of hungry and homeless people.
"Neither Jesus nor His Father or Mother Mary in Heaven has stepped in
to help cure me of my Parkinson's disease, so I want part of the money
made from selling off the Vatican treasures to go towards scientific
research for an actual cure for the disease, not towards encouraging
more people to utter useless prayers to God and His Son and Mother
who I no longer have faith in."
"This will probably not go over very well with the faithful, and it
might even cause a worldwide panic, but the truth should prevail in
the end," he said.
I always wondered of the pope wasn't in on the joke.
--
Vic Sagerquist
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
Plonked by Jason Gastrich for all eternity...
______________
As you were, I was. As I am, you will be.
--- Hunter S. Thompson
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