Religions > Atheism > Evangelical Scientists refute gravity with 'Intellegent Falling' theory
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Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Kate " |
| Date: |
23 Aug 2005 12:44:10 PM |
| Object: |
Evangelical Scientists refute gravity with 'Intellegent Falling' theory |
(snicker)
http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133&n=2
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| User: "Darrell Stec" |
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| Title: Re: Evangelical Scientists refute gravity with 'Intellegent Falling' theory |
23 Aug 2005 06:39:52 PM |
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After serious contemplation, on or about Tuesday 23 August 2005 1:44 pm
cobalt@newscene.com wrote:
(snicker)
http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133&n=2
I've been getting that story in my Email, several a day. And oddly, it is
comming from acquaintances and friends who are Fundies. I'm wondering if
they can differential parody from reality? [I know, silly question if they
are Fundies.]
--
Later,
Darrell Stec
Webpage Sorcery
http://webpagesorcery.com
We Put the Magic in Your Webpages
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| User: "Conspiracy of Doves" |
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| Title: Re: Evangelical Scientists refute gravity with 'Intellegent Falling' theory |
24 Aug 2005 10:33:41 AM |
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Try asking them if they understand that it isn't real.
Have you seen this one?
http://www.sullivan-county.com/id3/thermodynamics.htm
It's a ***** that onion charges for access to their archives now.
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: Evangelical Scientists refute gravity with 'Intellegent Falling' theory |
28 Aug 2005 02:23:15 PM |
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On 24 Aug 2005 08:33:41 -0700, "Conspiracy of Doves"
<mark_dp73@yahoo.com> wrote:
Try asking them if they understand that it isn't real.
Have you seen this one?
http://www.sullivan-county.com/id3/thermodynamics.htm
It's a ***** that onion charges for access to their archives now.
Christian Right Lobbies To Overturn Second Law Of Thermodynamics
TOPEKA, KS--The second law of thermodynamics, a fundamental
scientific principle stating that entropy increases over time as
organized forms decay into greater states of randomness, has come
under fire from conservative Christian groups, who are demanding that
the law be repealed.
"What do these scientists want us teaching our children? That the
universe will continue to expand until it reaches eventual heat
death?" asked Christian Coalition president Ralph Reed, speaking at a
rally protesting a recent Kansas Board Of Education decision upholding
the law. "That's hardly an optimistic view of a world the Lord created
for mankind. The American people are sending a strong message here: We
don't like the implications of this law, and we will not rest until it
has been reversed in the courts."
The controversial law of nature, which asserts that matter
continually breaks down as disorder increases and heat is lost, has
long been decried by Christian fundamentalists as running counter to
their religion's doctrine of Divine grace and eternal salvation.
"Why can't disorder decrease over time instead of everything
decaying?" asked Jim Muldoon of Emporia, KS. "Is that too much to ask?
This is our children's future we're talking about."
"I wouldn't want my child growing up in a world headed for total
heat death and dissolution into a vacuum," said Kansas state senator
Will Blanchard (R-Hutchinson). "No decent parent would want that."
Calling the second law of thermodynamics "a deeply disturbing
scientific principle that threatens our children's understanding of
God's universe as a benevolent and loving place," Blanchard is
spearheading a nationwide grassroots campaign to have the law removed
from high-school physics textbooks. The plan has already met with
significant support in the state legislatures of Kansas, Oklahoma,
Missouri, Tennessee, Georgia, and Mississippi.
"My daughter's schoolbooks tell her that we live in a world ruled by
disorder," said Knox Heflin, one of several dozen fundamentalists who
spoke out against the teaching of the law at a Statesboro (GA) School
Board hearing. "That's a direct contradiction of what it says in the
Bible, about how everything is going to get better, and we'll all live
happily up in heaven after the End Times."
"The only 'heat death' Jesus ever mentioned is the one that
sinners will suffer for all eternity in the Lake of Fire," said
Indianola (MS) School Board president Bernice McCallum. "Now more than
ever, we need to hear what the Bible has to say about our public
schools' physical-science curricula."
Leading physicists contend that, as the foundation of much of
our current scientific understanding, a reversal of the second law of
thermodynamics would have massive ramifications on the future of both
our nation and the universe itself.
"Were the second law to be repealed, random particles would
collect and organize themselves instead of dissipating, which could
affect such basic processes as combustion, digestion, evaporation,
convection--that sort of thing," Columbia University superstring
theorist Dr. Brian Greene said. "There wouldn't be much sunlight,
either, because all stars, including our sun, would be collecting
photons from surrounding space instead of emitting solar radiation.
Oh, and the universe would begin to contract rather than expand, which
could possibly turn back the flow of time itself, sending our cosmos
spiraling inward toward a reverse Big Bang, a sort of 'Big Crunch,' if
you will."
"In light of all this," Greene continued, "I would sincerely
hope that our nation's legislators think long and hard before making
any decisions to amend or repeal this law."
Despite such warnings, the grassroots movement to eliminate the
second law of thermodynamics appears to be gathering strength.
"This is America," said Duane Collins, a Gatlinburg, TN,
distillery operator and father of five. "And in this country, we have
the God-given right to change laws we don't think are Christian. We
are united in our demands that the second law of thermodynamics be
repealed, and our voice will be heard no matter what. That's just a
plain fact, and nothing anybody says can ever change it."
© Copyright 2000 Onion, Inc., All rights reserved.
http://www.theonion.com/
Note the above is a joke and not a real news report.
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: Evangelical Scientists refute gravity with 'Intellegent Falling' theory |
28 Aug 2005 02:21:56 PM |
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On 23 Aug 2005 12:44:10 -0500, (Kate ) wrote:
(snicker)
http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133&n=2
Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling'
Theory
TOPEKA, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public
schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose
Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the
Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that
the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded
to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational
force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is
pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in
education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts
University.
Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is
founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual
force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force.
Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend
upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in
vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."
Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of
evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal
interpretation of the Bible.
According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the
International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's
Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by
secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how
Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of
Paradise.
The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other
Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school
curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They
insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from
schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so
they can make an informed decision."
"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett
said.
Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories
used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally
consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's
ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum
mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that
gravity is a theory in crisis.
"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory
Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the
blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some
gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7,
we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly
upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly
upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious
intelligence governs all falling."
Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable
law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical
physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's
mathematics and Holy Scripture.
"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general
relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen
Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with
the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the
better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical
observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."
"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation
is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists
need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just
secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"
Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides
an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.
"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the
'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear
force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they
tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But
readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one,
unified force is: His name is Jesus."
® 2005 The Onion
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.
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| User: "Conspiracy of Doves" |
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| Title: Re: Evangelical Scientists refute gravity with 'Intellegent Falling' theory |
23 Aug 2005 01:10:02 PM |
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Yeah. It's funny. It's also been posted around 10 times here and on
talk.origins since it came out last wednesday.
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| User: "Gail Futoran" |
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| Title: Re: Evangelical Scientists refute gravity with 'Intellegent Falling' theory |
23 Aug 2005 10:32:46 PM |
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"Conspiracy of Doves" <mark_dp73@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1124820602.352803.184420@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...
Yeah. It's funny. It's also been posted around 10 times here and on
talk.origins since it came out last wednesday.
First time I've seen it, so I'm glad the OP posted
the link from The Onion.
Gail
aa#2247
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