| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Enkidu" |
| Date: |
02 Nov 2006 11:28:28 AM |
| Object: |
Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires |
Dracula math
Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires
We are relieved to report that a straightforward application of high
school algebra has driven a stake through the heart of the Dracula myth.
As portrayed in countless Hollywood remakes, humans turn into vampires
when one bites you in the neck and sucks your blood. In a recent academic
paper, Costas Efthimiou, a theoretical physicist at the University of
Central Florida, assumes the first vampire appeared in 1600 AD, about
when the myth emerged in Europe.
When this first vampire bit someone, he would have created one new
vampire, thus doubling the world's undead population. They would have
infected two more humans, and so on. Even if vampires fed only once a
month, this doubling effect (a geometric progression of ratio 2) would
have wiped out the entire human population, estimated at 540 million at
the time, in just 30 months. Then the vampires would have starved.
This means any vampires (or zombies, for that matter) wandering your
neighborhood tonight are relatively benign, and may be deserving of
candy.
--
Enkidu AA#2165
http://www.thoughts.leaddogs.org/
EAC Chaplain and ordained minister,
ULC, Modesto, CA
Now Playing:
"As to the evil which results from censorship, it is impossible to
measure it, because it is impossible to tell where it ends."
.
|
|
| User: "Kevin Anthoney" |
|
| Title: Re: Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires |
02 Nov 2006 12:53:07 PM |
|
|
Enkidu wrote:
Dracula math
Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires
We are relieved to report that a straightforward application of high
school algebra has driven a stake through the heart of the Dracula myth.
As portrayed in countless Hollywood remakes, humans turn into vampires
when one bites you in the neck and sucks your blood. In a recent academic
paper, Costas Efthimiou, a theoretical physicist at the University of
Central Florida, assumes the first vampire appeared in 1600 AD, about
when the myth emerged in Europe.
When this first vampire bit someone, he would have created one new
vampire, thus doubling the world's undead population. They would have
infected two more humans, and so on. Even if vampires fed only once a
month, this doubling effect (a geometric progression of ratio 2) would
have wiped out the entire human population, estimated at 540 million at
the time, in just 30 months. Then the vampires would have starved.
Doesn't the victim have to drink the vampire's blood in order to become a
vampire? And then there's the Slayer...
This means any vampires (or zombies, for that matter) wandering your
neighborhood tonight are relatively benign, and may be deserving of
candy.
--
Kevin Anthoney
kanthoney[a]dsl.pipex.com
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Lucifer" |
|
| Title: Re: Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires |
02 Nov 2006 01:00:18 PM |
|
|
Enkidu wrote:
Dracula math
Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires
We are relieved to report that a straightforward application of high
school algebra has driven a stake through the heart of the Dracula myth.
As portrayed in countless Hollywood remakes, humans turn into vampires
when one bites you in the neck and sucks your blood. In a recent academic
paper, Costas Efthimiou, a theoretical physicist at the University of
Central Florida, assumes the first vampire appeared in 1600 AD, about
when the myth emerged in Europe.
When this first vampire bit someone, he would have created one new
vampire, thus doubling the world's undead population. They would have
infected two more humans, and so on. Even if vampires fed only once a
month, this doubling effect (a geometric progression of ratio 2) would
have wiped out the entire human population, estimated at 540 million at
the time, in just 30 months. Then the vampires would have starved.
This means any vampires (or zombies, for that matter) wandering your
neighborhood tonight are relatively benign, and may be deserving of
candy.
--
Enkidu AA#2165
http://www.thoughts.leaddogs.org/
EAC Chaplain and ordained minister,
ULC, Modesto, CA
Now Playing:
"As to the evil which results from censorship, it is impossible to
measure it, because it is impossible to tell where it ends."
Well actually, in Dracula, Van Helsing is probably just wrong, that's
the joy of unreliable narrators. It's suggested that a vampire would
have to want the victim to become a vampire...
--
Lucifer the Unsubtle, EAC Librarian of Dark Tomes of Excessive Evil and
General Purpose Igor
The Anti-Theist
"Don't worry, I won't bite.......hard"
.
|
|
|
|
| User: "Therion Ware" |
|
| Title: Re: Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires |
02 Nov 2006 11:58:19 AM |
|
|
On 2 Nov 2006 17:28:28 GMT, Enkidu wrote in message
<Xns986F607342C7E255229@0.0.0.1>:
Dracula math
Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires
We are relieved to report that a straightforward application of high
school algebra has driven a stake through the heart of the Dracula myth.
As portrayed in countless Hollywood remakes, humans turn into vampires
when one bites you in the neck and sucks your blood. In a recent academic
paper, Costas Efthimiou, a theoretical physicist at the University of
Central Florida, assumes the first vampire appeared in 1600 AD, about
when the myth emerged in Europe.
When this first vampire bit someone, he would have created one new
vampire, thus doubling the world's undead population. They would have
infected two more humans, and so on. Even if vampires fed only once a
month, this doubling effect (a geometric progression of ratio 2) would
have wiped out the entire human population, estimated at 540 million at
the time, in just 30 months. Then the vampires would have starved.
This means any vampires (or zombies, for that matter) wandering your
neighborhood tonight are relatively benign, and may be deserving of
candy.
Ahem. Most of the literature has it that it takes a conscious act of
will on the part of the vampire during feeding to produce a new
vampire. One also presumes that vampires would be fairly rare in
countries such as Italy...
--
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
attrib: Pauline Réage.
-
www.eac-nudis.com = Evil Atheist Conspiracy NNTP / Usenet Distributed Intelligence System...
.
|
|
|
| User: "Lars Eighner" |
|
| Title: Re: Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires |
02 Nov 2006 12:25:29 PM |
|
|
In our last episode, <i8ckk258rh4replfg1mmb0b8n3idj59k4k@4ax.com>, the
lovely and talented Therion Ware broadcast on alt.atheism:
On 2 Nov 2006 17:28:28 GMT, Enkidu wrote in message
<Xns986F607342C7E255229@0.0.0.1>:
Dracula math
Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires
We are relieved to report that a straightforward application of high
school algebra has driven a stake through the heart of the Dracula myth.
As portrayed in countless Hollywood remakes, humans turn into vampires
when one bites you in the neck and sucks your blood. In a recent academic
paper, Costas Efthimiou, a theoretical physicist at the University of
Central Florida, assumes the first vampire appeared in 1600 AD, about
when the myth emerged in Europe.
When this first vampire bit someone, he would have created one new
vampire, thus doubling the world's undead population. They would have
infected two more humans, and so on. Even if vampires fed only once a
month, this doubling effect (a geometric progression of ratio 2) would
have wiped out the entire human population, estimated at 540 million at
the time, in just 30 months. Then the vampires would have starved.
This means any vampires (or zombies, for that matter) wandering your
neighborhood tonight are relatively benign, and may be deserving of
candy.
Ahem. Most of the literature has it that it takes a conscious act of
will on the part of the vampire during feeding to produce a new
vampire. One also presumes that vampires would be fairly rare in
countries such as Italy...
Also, if there aren't any vampires, how does one explain Donny
Rumsfeld?
--
Lars Eighner *Atheist #1965* <http://larseighner.com/>
What a f iend we have in Jesus!
.
|
|
|
| User: "Therion Ware" |
|
| Title: Re: Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires |
02 Nov 2006 03:24:16 PM |
|
|
On 02 Nov 2006 18:25:29 GMT, Lars Eighner <usenet@larseighner.com>
wrote:
In our last episode, <i8ckk258rh4replfg1mmb0b8n3idj59k4k@4ax.com>, the
lovely and talented Therion Ware broadcast on alt.atheism:
On 2 Nov 2006 17:28:28 GMT, Enkidu wrote in message
<Xns986F607342C7E255229@0.0.0.1>:
Dracula math
Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires
We are relieved to report that a straightforward application of high
school algebra has driven a stake through the heart of the Dracula myth.
As portrayed in countless Hollywood remakes, humans turn into vampires
when one bites you in the neck and sucks your blood. In a recent academic
paper, Costas Efthimiou, a theoretical physicist at the University of
Central Florida, assumes the first vampire appeared in 1600 AD, about
when the myth emerged in Europe.
When this first vampire bit someone, he would have created one new
vampire, thus doubling the world's undead population. They would have
infected two more humans, and so on. Even if vampires fed only once a
month, this doubling effect (a geometric progression of ratio 2) would
have wiped out the entire human population, estimated at 540 million at
the time, in just 30 months. Then the vampires would have starved.
This means any vampires (or zombies, for that matter) wandering your
neighborhood tonight are relatively benign, and may be deserving of
candy.
Ahem. Most of the literature has it that it takes a conscious act of
will on the part of the vampire during feeding to produce a new
vampire. One also presumes that vampires would be fairly rare in
countries such as Italy...
Also, if there aren't any vampires, how does one explain Donny
Rumsfeld?
Good point. Very good point.
--
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
attrib: Pauline Réage. Cine To DVD? http://www.video2cd.co.uk
.
|
|
|
| User: "Geoff" |
|
| Title: Re: Evidence of the nonexistence of vampires |
02 Nov 2006 08:33:59 PM |
|
|
"Therion Ware" <autodelete@city-of-dis.com> wrote in message
news:dfokk2lsss3o6hoqu1q19b173dj09vrnm0@4ax.com...
One also presumes that vampires would be fairly rare in
countries such as Italy...
Also, if there aren't any vampires, how does one explain Donny
Rumsfeld?
Good point. Very good point.
And Dickie-boy. I have it from good sources that Cheney has never even been
to Italy.
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Related Articles |
|
|
