I wrote something funny on Yahoo today, at least that's what people told me.
Apologies to reasonable republicans, but you must realize your party IS the
party of religious wackos.
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Faith-Based Alternative Energy Program
Republicans have hatched a faith-based alternative to America's energy and
health care requirements. They plan to harness prayer power.
Senator Rick Santorum announced today that since all science is clearly the
handiwork of Satan, Republicans plan to pass a bill that will ban all
science teaching in both public and private schools, including institutions
of higher learning. Though not a member of the Senate, House Majority leader
Tom DeLay said the bill would pass due to a little known and heretofore
unused clause in the No Child Left Behind Act that allows Republican leaders
to pass whatever bills they want without regard to regular voting
requirements.
Santorum explained that all science classes will be replaced with prayer
sessions. Everything that currently seems to require scientific principles
to operate will henceforth be operated using the power of faith alone. The
Power of Christ will compel lighting, air conditioning, computers, etc., to
work, in lieu of so-called "electricity". "For too long, liberal, atheist
scientists have held a monopoly on power generation through their belief in
so-called 'electricity'," said the Senator. "They have cowed our youth with
this religious propaganda for the last time. This time we will not even
bother with 'teaching the controversy', but will go straight to the power of
prayer!"
The Power of Christ will also compel internal combustion engines to run,
enable mobile phone communication (including text messaging), heal the sick,
and feed the masses.
Republicans will develop this new power source through a new public
corporation. Shares in Power of Christ, LLC, will be available for purchase
on the NYSE on October 29, 2005, marking the beginning of the 6th millenium
after the Creation of the Universe.
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There are two kinds of people in the world, those who put people into
categories, and those who don't.
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