| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Santolina chamaecyparissus" |
| Date: |
28 Aug 2005 06:36:13 PM |
| Object: |
Fear Yahweh |
I Guess getting drunk and flashing your tits to the whole world isn't so
funny anymore, is it New Orleans?
Fear the wrath of the LORD, city of hedonists. Pray this prayer with the
godly:
Oh fearsome LORD of Hosts, my bare breasts are unworthy of Thee. I humbly
cover my unclean bosom and beg Thy forgiveness. We ask, if it is Thy will,
that You, in your infinite mercy, downgrade this storm to category four. We
beg forgiveness for our country, which has allowed homosexuals,
abortionists, atheists, and most expecially, bare breasts on its blessed
shores.
Amen.
_________________________________________
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Unlimited download
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| User: "Douglas Berry" |
|
| Title: Re: Fear Yahweh |
28 Aug 2005 07:47:07 PM |
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On Sun, 28 Aug 2005 11:36:13 -0700, "Santolina chamaecyparissus"
<feeding@tube.com> drained his beer, leaned back in the alt.atheism
beanbag and drunkenly proclaimed the following
I Guess getting drunk and flashing your tits to the whole world isn't so
funny anymore, is it New Orleans?
So, how many hurricanes have hit Rio? If you think that Mardi Gras is
bad, try Carnival!
Fear the wrath of the LORD, city of hedonists. Pray this prayer with the
godly:
New Orleans is one of the most religious cities in America. You are
aware that Mardi Gras is a Christian festival, yes? A week of
indulgences before Lent.
And Jesus supported drinking at parties. Remember what his first
miracle was? BTW, have you ever figured out how much wine he actually
made? It's fun!
John 2:6 And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the
manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins
apiece.
A firkin is about nine gallons, or 40.41 liters. Assume that each pot
actually held 2.5 firkins, and the six pots would hold 606.15 liters
of water (turned into wine by Jesus.)
How much is that? A standard wine bottle used today holds 750 ml. So
Jesus created the equivilant of 808.2 bottles of wine! Assume he
drank the .2 for his efforts, and you have 67.3 cases of hooch. This
for a party that had already run out of wine!
So Jesus obviously approves of binge drinking.
Oh fearsome LORD of Hosts, my bare breasts are unworthy of Thee. I humbly
cover my unclean bosom and beg Thy forgiveness. We ask, if it is Thy will,
that You, in your infinite mercy, downgrade this storm to category four. We
beg forgiveness for our country, which has allowed homosexuals,
abortionists, atheists, and most expecially, bare breasts on its blessed
shores.
Tits!
--
Douglas E. Berry Do the OBVIOUS thing to send e-mail
Atheist #2147, Atheist Vet #5
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as
when they do it from religious conviction."
Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), Pense'es, #894.
.
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| User: "Santolina chamaecyparissus" |
|
| Title: Re: Fear Yahweh |
28 Aug 2005 09:25:54 PM |
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"Douglas Berry" <penguin_boy@mindOBVIOUSspring.com> wrote in message
news:8744h1tkkha6bd36ac7s2sgeo9bd7k5bju@4ax.com...
On Sun, 28 Aug 2005 11:36:13 -0700, "Santolina chamaecyparissus"
<feeding@tube.com> drained his beer, leaned back in the alt.atheism
beanbag and drunkenly proclaimed the following
I Guess getting drunk and flashing your tits to the whole world isn't so
funny anymore, is it New Orleans?
So, how many hurricanes have hit Rio? If you think that Mardi Gras is
bad, try Carnival!
The LORD works on his own timetable. Believe me, if the LORD keeps seeing
full, firm breasts and tanned, round bottoms on the beaches of Rio there's
no telling what punishment may be visited upon them.
Fear the wrath of the LORD, city of hedonists. Pray this prayer with
the
godly:
New Orleans is one of the most religious cities in America. You are
aware that Mardi Gras is a Christian festival, yes? A week of
indulgences before Lent.
Flash your boobs at the LORD GOD. Go ahead, I dare you.
And Jesus supported drinking at parties. Remember what his first
miracle was? BTW, have you ever figured out how much wine he actually
made? It's fun!
John 2:6 And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the
manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins
apiece.
A firkin is about nine gallons, or 40.41 liters. Assume that each pot
actually held 2.5 firkins, and the six pots would hold 606.15 liters
of water (turned into wine by Jesus.)
How much is that? A standard wine bottle used today holds 750 ml. So
Jesus created the equivilant of 808.2 bottles of wine! Assume he
drank the .2 for his efforts, and you have 67.3 cases of hooch. This
for a party that had already run out of wine!
So Jesus obviously approves of binge drinking.
But I'll bet you they all kept their tops on.
Oh fearsome LORD of Hosts, my bare breasts are unworthy of Thee. I
humbly
cover my unclean bosom and beg Thy forgiveness. We ask, if it is Thy
will,
that You, in your infinite mercy, downgrade this storm to category four.
We
beg forgiveness for our country, which has allowed homosexuals,
abortionists, atheists, and most expecially, bare breasts on its blessed
shores.
Tits!
Amen.
_________________________________________
Usenet Zone Free Binaries Usenet Server
More than 140,000 groups
Unlimited download
http://www.usenetzone.com to open account
.
|
|
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| User: "655321" |
|
| Title: Re: Fear Yahweh |
02 Sep 2005 09:41:23 PM |
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Santolina chamaecyparissus wrote:
"Douglas Berry" <penguin_boy@mindOBVIOUSspring.com> wrote in message
news:8744h1tkkha6bd36ac7s2sgeo9bd7k5bju@4ax.com...
On Sun, 28 Aug 2005 11:36:13 -0700, "Santolina chamaecyparissus"
<feeding@tube.com> drained his beer, leaned back in the alt.atheism
beanbag and drunkenly proclaimed the following
I Guess getting drunk and flashing your tits to the whole world isn't so
funny anymore, is it New Orleans?
So, how many hurricanes have hit Rio? If you think that Mardi Gras is
bad, try Carnival!
The LORD works on his own timetable. Believe me, if the LORD keeps seeing
full, firm breasts and tanned, round bottoms on the beaches of Rio there's
no telling what punishment may be visited upon them.
Your "preaching" is giving me a stiffie.
Fear the wrath of the LORD, city of hedonists. Pray this prayer with
the godly:
New Orleans is one of the most religious cities in America. You are
aware that Mardi Gras is a Christian festival, yes? A week of
indulgences before Lent.
Flash your boobs at the LORD GOD. Go ahead, I dare you.
The chief consequence would be the beads. His are HUUUGE!
And Jesus supported drinking at parties. Remember what his first
miracle was? BTW, have you ever figured out how much wine he actually
made? It's fun!
John 2:6 And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the
manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins
apiece.
A firkin is about nine gallons, or 40.41 liters. Assume that each pot
actually held 2.5 firkins, and the six pots would hold 606.15 liters
of water (turned into wine by Jesus.)
How much is that? A standard wine bottle used today holds 750 ml. So
Jesus created the equivilant of 808.2 bottles of wine! Assume he
drank the .2 for his efforts, and you have 67.3 cases of hooch. This
for a party that had already run out of wine!
So Jesus obviously approves of binge drinking.
But I'll bet you they all kept their tops on.
I'll take that bet. Jesus probably turned women's tops into water (and
then into wine) to further amuse the guests.
Oh fearsome LORD of Hosts, my bare breasts are unworthy of Thee. I
humbly cover my unclean bosom and beg Thy forgiveness. We ask, if it is Thy
will, that You, in your infinite mercy, downgrade this storm to category four.
We beg forgiveness for our country, which has allowed homosexuals,
abortionists, atheists, and most expecially, bare breasts on its blessed
shores.
Tits!
Amen.
Double-amen. Double-D-amen!
655321
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