| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"" |
| Date: |
08 Apr 2005 04:56:04 PM |
| Object: |
For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
Hello, everybody! I hope everyone is doing fine. As you may well
know, I've been away for a while, and of course, it didn't help that
AOL decided to drop Usenet from their services.
We can all agree that Pope John Paul II will be having a very short
stay in Purgatory, but to help him out of there, as well as one
thousand souls at one time, please join me and others with this prayer:
Prayers For The Faithful Departed:
Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son,
Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for
all the holy souls in Purgatory and for sinners everywhere -- for
sinners in the Universal Church, for those in my own home and within my
own family. Amen.
Eternal Father, I offer You the Holy Wounds of Your Son, and His
Precious Blood, for the conversion of sinners and for the relief of the
souls in Purgatory.
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| User: "Just Mark" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
08 Apr 2005 04:59:31 PM |
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<vivapadrepio@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1112997364.782988.119650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Hello, everybody! I hope everyone is doing fine. As you may well
know, I've been away for a while, and of course, it didn't help that
AOL decided to drop Usenet from their services.
We can all agree that Pope John Paul II will be having a very short
stay in Purgatory, but to help him out of there...
The Pope's in Colorado? I'll bet Parkinson's is hell on his snowboarding
skills. Plus, it's pretty pricey there. No wonder he wants out.
Just Mark
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: For Christians Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
09 Apr 2005 12:33:53 PM |
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wrote:
Hello, everybody! I hope everyone is doing fine.
Well thanks!
As you may well
know, I've been away for a while,
But feeling a bit shaky about your religion, you decided
to come back? You see, atheists seeking conversion would
not hang out in alt.atheism. However _Christians_ seeking
conversion would.
and of course, it didn't help that
AOL decided to drop Usenet from their services.
Hope you pick your religon a bit better than you pick your
isp. Probably not, though huh. That's why you are here,
after all!
We can all agree that Pope John Paul II will be having a very short
stay in Purgatory,
LOL! I find it fascinating that a Bible believer would so
casually bear false witness like this. Why would you do this,
and why would you do it in front of the people you would
claim you wish to convert? I mean since it is obvious that
you know where you are posting and it is obvious that you
know your statement, that begins with "We can all agree..."
isn't true. Do you think that non-believers are impressed by
believers violating the precepts of their religion (in this case,
the 9th Commandment)? I see this sort of thing all the time.
Can you explain to me why you do this?
but to help him out of there, as well as one
thousand souls at one time, please join me and others with this
prayer:
"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very
short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.'
And God granted it." - Voltaire
Prayers For The Faithful Departed:
Do you ever read the Bible, sport? Here is what Jesus said:
"And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites
are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in
the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men.
Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou,
when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou
hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret;
and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."
--Matthew 6:5-6
So once again, by ignorance or indifference, you violate
the precepts of your own religion, and you do so right in
front of non-believers! How can atheists have anything
other than contempt for someone who thinks we should
value his religion more than he does?
I guess you won't be answering this embarrassing question
any time soon.
Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine
Son,
Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for
all the holy souls in Purgatory and for sinners everywhere -- for
sinners in the Universal Church, for those in my own home and within
my
own family. Amen.
Eternal Father, I offer You the Holy Wounds of Your Son, and His
Precious Blood, for the conversion of sinners and for the relief of
the
souls in Purgatory.
..
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| User: "DanielSan" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
08 Apr 2005 05:53:04 PM |
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wrote:
Hello, everybody! I hope everyone is doing fine. As you may well
know, I've been away for a while, and of course, it didn't help that
AOL decided to drop Usenet from their services.
I'm doing GREAT! Thanks for asking!
We can all agree that Pope John Paul II will be having a very short
stay in Purgatory,
We can? Purgatory doesn't exist, so it's impossible for him to have a
very short stay in an nonexistent place.
but to help him out of there, as well as one
thousand souls at one time, please join me and others with this prayer:
Karol needs prayer to get into Heaven? Wow. If Karol needs help, we're
ALL screwed. ;-)
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| User: "Les Hellawell" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
09 Apr 2005 05:13:12 AM |
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On Fri, 08 Apr 2005 15:53:04 -0700, DanielSan
<daniel-san@myrealbox.com> wrote:
vivapadrepio@aol.com wrote:
Hello, everybody! I hope everyone is doing fine. As you may well
know, I've been away for a while, and of course, it didn't help that
AOL decided to drop Usenet from their services.
I'm doing GREAT! Thanks for asking!
We can all agree that Pope John Paul II will be having a very short
stay in Purgatory,
We can? Purgatory doesn't exist, so it's impossible for him to have a
very short stay in an nonexistent place.
Nah he meant the short but thank humanity, short and uncomfortable
period of dying followed by the disgusting public display of his body
viewed by all those thousand of morbidly curious gawpers.
Pity the poor chap, after wasting his whole life believing in a god
and heaven , will never know it was all fantasy being dead an all.
--
Les Hellawell
greetings from
YORKSHIRE - The White Rose County
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| User: "Steve" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
08 Apr 2005 06:58:42 PM |
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AOL... who wud have guessed :-)
Can u please give me a reference from your babble about this purgatory you
mention. I would like to understand this better.
Steve
"Once my friend told me that he had found Jesus. I thought to myself,
"WooHoo, we're rich!" It turns out he meant something different "
Jack Handy
<vivapadrepio@aol.com> wrote in message
news:1112997364.782988.119650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
Hello, everybody! I hope everyone is doing fine. As you may well
know, I've been away for a while, and of course, it didn't help that
AOL decided to drop Usenet from their services.
We can all agree that Pope John Paul II will be having a very short
stay in Purgatory, but to help him out of there, as well as one
thousand souls at one time, please join me and others with this prayer:
Prayers For The Faithful Departed:
Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son,
Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for
all the holy souls in Purgatory and for sinners everywhere -- for
sinners in the Universal Church, for those in my own home and within my
own family. Amen.
Eternal Father, I offer You the Holy Wounds of Your Son, and His
Precious Blood, for the conversion of sinners and for the relief of the
souls in Purgatory.
----== Posted via Newsfeeds.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==----
http://www.newsfeeds.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World! 120,000+ Newsgroups
----= East and West-Coast Server Farms - Total Privacy via Encryption =----
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| User: "*nemo*" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
09 Apr 2005 06:08:28 AM |
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In article <1112997364.782988.119650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com>,
wrote:
Hello, everybody! I hope everyone is doing fine.
We were until this load of flaming ***** landed on our front steps.
Leave the atheists out of your myth-driven fantasies, there's a good lad.
--
Nemo - EAC Commissioner for Bible Belt Underwater Operations.
Atheist #1331 (the Palindrome of doom!)
BAAWA Knight! - One of those warm Southern Knights, y'all!
Charter member, SMASH!!
http://home.earthlink.net/~jehdjh/Relpg.html
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
Quotemeister since March 2002
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| User: "Zoggo" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
09 Apr 2005 04:37:54 AM |
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In article <1112997364.782988.119650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com>,
<vivapadrepio@aol.com> wrote:
Atheists seeking conversion????
Isn't that like praying you won't be able to get an erection?
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| User: "Mark K. Bilbo" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
08 Apr 2005 05:40:18 PM |
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In our last episode
<1112997364.782988.119650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com>, vivapadrepio
pirouetted gracefully and with great fanfare proclaimed:
Complaints-To:
Date: 8 Apr 2005 14:56:04 -0700
From:
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Lines: 22
Message-ID: <1112997364.782988.119650@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com>
NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 8 Apr 2005 21:56:10 +0000 (UTC)
NNTP-Posting-Host: 207.200.116.198
Newsgroups: alt.religion,alt.atheism
Organization: http://groups.google.com
Path: border1.nntp.dca.giganews.com!nntp.giganews.com!cyclone1.gnilink.net!gnilink.net!news.glorb.com!postnews.google.com!o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com!not-for-mail
Subject: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1.
User-Agent: G2/0.2
X-Complaints-To:
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MIME-Version: 1.0
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Abuse reports should be sent to both:
abuse@aol.com
and
--
Mark K. Bilbo - a.a. #1423
EAC Department of Linguistic Subversion
Group website at: http://www.alt-atheism.org
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful."
-- Seneca the Younger
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| User: "raven1" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
09 Apr 2005 12:01:57 PM |
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On 8 Apr 2005 14:56:04 -0700, wrote:
<plonk>
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| User: "Les Hellawell" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
09 Apr 2005 05:16:39 AM |
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On 8 Apr 2005 14:56:04 -0700, wrote:
Eternal Father, I offer You the Holy Wounds of Your Son, and His
Precious Blood, for the conversion of sinners and for the relief of the
souls in Purgatory.
You offer? You are a bit late mate this Jesus feller supposedly
dies a couple of thousands years ago! You wern't even there,
never lnew the bloke, so who are you to offer?
--
Les Hellawell
greetings from
YORKSHIRE - The White Rose County
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| User: "Dubh Ghall" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
09 Apr 2005 05:49:40 PM |
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On 8 Apr 2005 14:56:04 -0700, wrote:
Hello, everybody! I hope everyone is doing fine. As you may well
know, I've been away for a while,
If you kept up with your meds, it wouldn't happen.
....So often.
and of course, it didn't help that
AOL decided to drop Usenet from their services.
I thought it helped considerably.
We lost several total twats.
We can all agree that Pope John Paul II will be having a very short
stay in Purgatory, but to help him out of there, as well as one
thousand souls at one time, please join me and others with this prayer:
Prayers For The Faithful Departed:
Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son,
Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for
all the holy souls in Purgatory and for sinners everywhere -- for
sinners in the Universal Church, for those in my own home and within my
own family. Amen.
Eternal Father, I offer You the Holy Wounds of Your Son, and His
Precious Blood, for the conversion of sinners and for the relief of the
souls in Purgatory.
What a load of utter bollix.
BTW, I removed the atheist NG from your header.
--
Puck Greenman
The spelling Like any opinion stated here
is purely my own
#162 BAAWA Knight.
Plonked by Rob Duncan
Na bister 500,000
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| User: "Sweet Ol Bob SOB" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
10 Apr 2005 08:36:31 AM |
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On Sat, 09 Apr 2005 22:49:40 GMT, Dubh Ghall <puck@pooks.hill.fey>
wrote:
Eternal Father, I offer You the Holy Wounds of Your Son, and His
Precious Blood, for the conversion of sinners and for the relief of the
souls in Purgatory.
Here is how Good Christians (TM) treated their fellow man in the name
of God (see below). Notice all those pious prayers, like the one
above, just before they forced a man to plunge his bare hand into a
pot of boiling water.
The Christian religious establishment is a brotherhood of
sadomasochistic perverts, leftist queers and pedophiles. It is the
biggest of the Big Lies.
+++++
Ordeal of Boiling Water, 12th or 13th Century
Let the priest go to the church with the prosecutors and with him who
is about to be tried. And while the rest wait in the vestibule of the
church let the priest enter and put on the sacred garments except the
chasuble and, taking the Gospel and the chrismarium and the relics of
the saints and the chalice, let him go to the altar and speak thus to
all the people standing near: Behold, brethren, the offices of the
Christian religion. Behold the law in which is hope and remission of
sins, the holy oil of the chrisma, the consecration of the body and
blood of our Lord. Look that ye be not deprived of the heritage of
such great blessing and of participation in it by implicating
yourselves in the crime of another, for it is written, not only are
they worthy of death who do these things, but they that have pleasure
in them that do them.
Then let him thus address the one who is to undertake the ordeal: I
command thee, N., in the presence of all, by the Father, the Son, and
the Holy Ghost, by the tremendous day of judgment, by the ministry of
baptism, by thy veneration for the saints, that, if thou art guilty of
this matter charged against thee, if thou hast done it, or consented
to it, or hast knowingly seen the perpetrators of this crime, thou
enter not into the church nor mingle in the company of Christians
unless thou wilt confess and admit thy guilt before thou are examined
in public judgment.
Then he shall designate a spot in the vestibule where the fire is to
be made for the water, and shall first sprinkle the place with holy
water, and shall also sprinkle the kettle when it is ready to be hung
and the water in it, to guard against the illusions of the devil.
Then, entering the church with the others, he shall celebrate the
ordeal mass. After the celebration let the priest go with the people
to the place of the ordeal, the Gospel in his left hand, the cross,
censer and relics of the saints being carried ahead, and let him chant
seven penitential psalms with a litany.
Prayer over the boiling water: O God, just judge, firm and patient,
who art the Author of peace, and judgest truly, determine what is
right, O Lord, and make known Thy righteous judgment. O Omnipotent
God, Thou that lookest upon the earth and makest it to tremble, Thou
that by the gift of Thy Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, didst save the
world and by His most holy passion didst redeem the human race,
sanctify, O Lord, this water being heated by fire. Thou that didst
save the three youths, Sidrac, Misac, and Abednago, cast into the
fiery furnace at the command of Nebuchadnezzar, and didst lead them
forth unharmed by the hand of Thy angle, do Thou O clement and most
holy Ruler, give aid if he shall plunge his hand into the boiling
water, being innocent, and, as Thou didst liberate the three youths
from the fiery furnace and didst free Susanna from the false charge,
so, O Lord, bring forth his hand safe and unharmed from this water.
But if he be guilty and presume to plunge in his hand, the devil
hardening his heart, let Thy holy justice deign to declare it, that
Thy virtue may be manifest in his body and his soul be saved by
penitence and confession. And if the guilty man shall try to hide his
sins by the use of herbs or any magic, let Thy right hand deign to
bring it to no account. Through Thy only begotten Son, our Lord Jesus
Christ, who dwelleth with Thee.
Benediction of the water: I bless thee, O creature of water, boiling
above the fire, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the
Holy Ghost, from whom all things proceed; I adjure thee by Him who
ordered thee to water the whole earth from the four rivers, and who
summoned thee forth from the rock, and who changed thee into wine,
that no wiles of the devil or magic of men be able to separate thee
from thy virtues as a medium of judgment; but mayest thou punish the
vile and the wicked, and purify the innocent. Through Him whom hidden
things do not escape and who sent thee in the flood over the whole
earth to destroy the wicked and who will yet come to judge the quick
and the dead and the world by fire. Amen.
Prayer: Omnipotent, Eternal God, we humbly beseech Thee in behalf of
this investigation which we are about to undertake here amongst us
that iniquity may not overcome justice but that falsehood may be
subjected to truth. And if any one seek to hinder or obscure this
examination by any magic or by herbs of the earth, deign to ring it to
naught by Thy right hand, O upright judge.
Then let the man who is to be tried, as well as the kettle or pot in
which is the boiling water, be fumed with the incense of myrrh, and
let this prayer be spoken: O God, Thou who within this substance of
water hast hidden Thy most solemn sacraments, be graciously present
with us who invoke Thee, and upon this element made ready by much
purification pour down the virtue of Thy benediction that this
creature, obedient to Thy mysteries, may be endued with Thy grace to
detect diabolical and human fallacies, to confute their inventions and
arguments, and to overcome their multiform arts. May all the wiles of
the hidden enemy be brought to naught that we may clearly perceive the
truth regarding those things which we with finite senses and simple
hearts are seeking from Thy judgment through invocation of Thy holy
name. Let not the innocent, we beseech Thee, be unjustly condemned, or
the guilty be able to delude with safety those who seek the truth from
Thee, who art the true Light, who seest in the shadowy darkness, and
who makest our darkness light. O Thou who perceivest hidden things and
knowest what is secret, show and declare this by Thy grace and make
the knowledge of the truth manifest to us who believe in thee
Then let the hand that is to be placed in water be washed with soap
and let it be carefully examined whether it be sound; and before it is
thrust in let the priest say: I adjure thee, O vessel, by the Father
and the Son and the Holy Ghost, and by the holy resurection and by the
tremendous day of judgement, and by the four evangelists, that if this
man is guilty of this crime, either by deed or by consent, let the
water boil violently, and do thou O vessel, tuen and swing.
After this let the man who is to be tried plunge in his hand and
afterwards let it be immediately sealed up. After the ordeal let him
take a drink of holy water. Up to the time of the decision regarding
the ordeal [a period of three days was allowed to elapse before the
hand was examined] it is good thing to mix salt and holy water with
all his food and drink
+++++
--
Million Mom March For Gun Confiscation
http://home.houston.rr.com/rkba/mmm.html
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable
one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore
all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
-- George Bernard Shaw
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| User: "Steve Knight" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
08 Apr 2005 07:22:14 PM |
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On 8 Apr 2005 14:56:04 -0700, wrote:
Hello, everybody! I hope everyone is doing fine. As you may well
know, I've been away for a while, and of course, it didn't help that
AOL decided to drop Usenet from their services.
You have AOL?
Only a fucking idiot would have AOL when there are thousands of
better IP's. You like living in pop-up hell because your active
scripting is a ***** to the IP? You like being butt fucked by their
'homepage' and no other?
Guess what, Fuckwit. run Adware and see how many assholes are
watching your keystrokes. Run 'Hijack This'... if they let you. Not
that you're bright enough to understand the return.
Now try and remove AOL from your computer. Good fucking luck.
Hint - Format C:/
We can all agree that Pope John Paul II will be having a very short
stay in Purgatory, but to help him out of there, as well as one
thousand souls at one time, please join me and others with this prayer:
He's not in your stupid Purgatory. He's fucking dead. And if all
your ***** fantasy was real, he'd be in Hell for protecting baby
rapists. Fucking scum!
Prayers For The Faithful Departed:
Yeah. Faithfully shuffling butt fucking priests around so they
won't get caught. Then, when they do, make up excuses and try to get
out of paying damages.
Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son,
Then the priest begins his rape for god.
Warlord Steve
BAAWA
www.sonic.net/~wooly
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| User: "John Baker" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
09 Apr 2005 02:42:21 AM |
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On 8 Apr 2005 14:56:04 -0700, wrote:
Hello, everybody! I hope everyone is doing fine. As you may well
know, I've been away for a while, and of course, it didn't help that
AOL decided to drop Usenet from their services.
We can all agree that Pope John Paul II will be having a very short
stay in Purgatory, but to help him out of there, as well as one
thousand souls at one time, please join me and others with this prayer:
Prayers For The Faithful Departed:
Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son,
Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for
all the holy souls in Purgatory and for sinners everywhere -- for
sinners in the Universal Church, for those in my own home and within my
own family. Amen.
Eternal Father, I offer You the Holy Wounds of Your Son, and His
Precious Blood, for the conversion of sinners and for the relief of the
souls in Purgatory.
Shove it up your *****.
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| User: "Secular Fundamentalist" |
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| Title: Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
09 Apr 2005 04:04:13 AM |
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The gates of alt.atheism slowly swung open, and there stood
vivapadrepio@aol.com,who intoned thus:
Hello, everybody! I hope everyone is doing fine. As you may well
know, I've been away for a while, and of course, it didn't help that
AOL decided to drop Usenet from their services.
We can all agree that Pope John Paul II will be having a very short
stay in Purgatory, but to help him out of there, as well as one
thousand souls at one time, please join me and others with this prayer:
Prayers For The Faithful Departed:
Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son,
Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for
all the holy souls in Purgatory and for sinners everywhere -- for
sinners in the Universal Church, for those in my own home and within my
own family. Amen.
Eternal Father, I offer You the Holy Wounds of Your Son, and His
Precious Blood, for the conversion of sinners and for the relief of the
souls in Purgatory.
There isn't really ever a time for prayer, but there is a place for
it.
It's where the sun never shines.
David Silverman F.L.A.H.N.
aa #2208
Mistabit doesn't work in mysterious ways, people just don't pay attention.
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| User: "Doc Smartass" |
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| Title: AA--AQOTM Nomination Re: For Atheists Seeking Conversion. Pt. 1. |
09 Apr 2005 02:26:01 PM |
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Secular Fundamentalist <Peter.Rabbit@answersinPotter.org> wrote in
news:bi6f51l0u56k7u8pbrslouuq6m2ikjpscg@4ax.com:
The gates of alt.atheism slowly swung open, and there stood
vivapadrepio@aol.com,who intoned thus:
<snippage for space considerations>
Eternal Father, I offer You the Holy Wounds of Your Son, and His
Precious Blood, for the conversion of sinners and for the relief of
the souls in Purgatory.
<nominated bit:>
There isn't really ever a time for prayer, but there is a place for
it.
It's where the sun never shines.
David Silverman F.L.A.H.N.
aa #2208
--
Dr. Smartass -- BAAWA Knight of Heckling -- a.a. #1939
Never use a weapon you don't like the taste of.
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