| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Just Jak!" |
| Date: |
22 Oct 2003 10:03:25 AM |
| Object: |
Fun with Theists |
I was having a good natured argument with a friend of mine...
The gist of the discussion was whether or not I was afraid of dying
and not getting into heaven and getting to spend eternity with god.
My point was that if god wouldn't let me in just because I didn't
believe in him, then he's not someone I'd want to hang out with for
five minutes, let alone eternity..., but that I'd probably be able to
talk my way in anyway...(c'mon, how hard could it be to outwit god??)
He allowed that I would probably still get in(since I am a pretty nice
guy), but wondered if I might be in a little bit of trouble for not
following the commandments...
Aha! sez I, But I follow all of them except for honoring the Sabbath(I
do tend to take it easy on most Saturdays, though)...and sometimes I
covet, but mostly minor things, like plasma TVs.
Aha! sez my friend, But what about the first commandment? Worshipping
God?
At this point we stopped to clarify that he was talking about the
first set of commandments (Exodus 20) and the set used by the
Protestants, not by the RCC (they take out the graven image one).
I have to admit that I smirked a bit at this point.
To quote! "You shall have no other gods before me."
Not a problem, sez I! I don't have any other gods before him. I
don't have ANY gods at all....I'm covered. No gods before him, no
gods after him, no gods, in fact, at all....
That seemed to stun him for a few seconds before he had to admit that,
yes, I followed the first commandment.....by default. ;-)
The best part of the this version of the first commandment is the
admission that there ARE other gods, and that it's OK to still have
them, as long as YHWH is first. What a bully...
ta!
.
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| User: "Ron Baker" |
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| Title: Re: Fun with Theists |
22 Oct 2003 10:22:23 AM |
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"Just Jak!" <Jakanapes@aol.com> wrote in message
news:3a7a210f.0310220703.5579b6b3@posting.google.com...
I was having a good natured argument with a friend of mine...
The gist of the discussion was whether or not I was afraid of dying
and not getting into heaven and getting to spend eternity with god.
My point was that if god wouldn't let me in just because I didn't
believe in him, then he's not someone I'd want to hang out with for
five minutes, let alone eternity..., but that I'd probably be able to
talk my way in anyway...(c'mon, how hard could it be to outwit god??)
He allowed that I would probably still get in(since I am a pretty nice
guy), but wondered if I might be in a little bit of trouble for not
following the commandments...
Aha! sez I, But I follow all of them except for honoring the Sabbath(I
do tend to take it easy on most Saturdays, though)...and sometimes I
covet, but mostly minor things, like plasma TVs.
Aha! sez my friend, But what about the first commandment? Worshipping
God?
At this point we stopped to clarify that he was talking about the
first set of commandments (Exodus 20) and the set used by the
Protestants, not by the RCC (they take out the graven image one).
I have to admit that I smirked a bit at this point.
To quote! "You shall have no other gods before me."
Not a problem, sez I! I don't have any other gods before him. I
don't have ANY gods at all....I'm covered. No gods before him, no
gods after him, no gods, in fact, at all....
That seemed to stun him for a few seconds before he had to admit that,
yes, I followed the first commandment.....by default. ;-)
The best part of the this version of the first commandment is the
admission that there ARE other gods, and that it's OK to still have
them, as long as YHWH is first. What a bully...
ta!
Good work. :)
.
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| User: "Wolf333" |
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| Title: AQOTM nomination (was Fun with Theists) |
22 Oct 2003 06:14:12 PM |
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"Just Jak!" <Jakanapes@aol.com> wrote in message
news:3a7a210f.0310220703.5579b6b3@posting.google.com...
I was having a good natured argument with a friend of mine...
The gist of the discussion was whether or not I was afraid of dying
and not getting into heaven and getting to spend eternity with god.
My point was that if god wouldn't let me in just because I didn't
believe in him, then he's not someone I'd want to hang out with for
five minutes, let alone eternity..., but that I'd probably be able to
talk my way in anyway...(c'mon, how hard could it be to outwit god??)
He allowed that I would probably still get in(since I am a pretty nice
guy), but wondered if I might be in a little bit of trouble for not
following the commandments...
Aha! sez I, But I follow all of them except for honoring the Sabbath(I
do tend to take it easy on most Saturdays, though)...and sometimes I
covet, but mostly minor things, like plasma TVs.
Aha! sez my friend, But what about the first commandment? Worshipping
God?
At this point we stopped to clarify that he was talking about the
first set of commandments (Exodus 20) and the set used by the
Protestants, not by the RCC (they take out the graven image one).
I have to admit that I smirked a bit at this point.
Begin nominated portion
To quote! "You shall have no other gods before me."
Not a problem, sez I! I don't have any other gods before him. I
don't have ANY gods at all....I'm covered. No gods before him, no
gods after him, no gods, in fact, at all....
end nomination
That seemed to stun him for a few seconds before he had to admit that,
yes, I followed the first commandment.....by default. ;-)
The best part of the this version of the first commandment is the
admission that there ARE other gods, and that it's OK to still have
them, as long as YHWH is first. What a bully...
ta!
--
__________
"blood-red canal birds particular traffic climb" - anonymous, oddly Zen-like
spammer
Michael Wolfe
aa #1912
__________
.
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| User: "Ron Baker" |
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| Title: Re: AQOTM nomination (was Fun with Theists) |
22 Oct 2003 10:11:32 PM |
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"Wolf333" <wolfe333@excite.com> wrote in message
news:vpe3q6kbjbu773@corp.supernews.com...
"Just Jak!" <Jakanapes@aol.com> wrote in message
news:3a7a210f.0310220703.5579b6b3@posting.google.com...
I was having a good natured argument with a friend of mine...
The gist of the discussion was whether or not I was afraid of dying
and not getting into heaven and getting to spend eternity with god.
My point was that if god wouldn't let me in just because I didn't
believe in him, then he's not someone I'd want to hang out with for
five minutes, let alone eternity..., but that I'd probably be able to
talk my way in anyway...(c'mon, how hard could it be to outwit god??)
He allowed that I would probably still get in(since I am a pretty nice
guy), but wondered if I might be in a little bit of trouble for not
following the commandments...
Aha! sez I, But I follow all of them except for honoring the Sabbath(I
do tend to take it easy on most Saturdays, though)...and sometimes I
covet, but mostly minor things, like plasma TVs.
Aha! sez my friend, But what about the first commandment? Worshipping
God?
At this point we stopped to clarify that he was talking about the
first set of commandments (Exodus 20) and the set used by the
Protestants, not by the RCC (they take out the graven image one).
I have to admit that I smirked a bit at this point.
Begin nominated portion
To quote! "You shall have no other gods before me."
Not a problem, sez I! I don't have any other gods before him. I
don't have ANY gods at all....I'm covered. No gods before him, no
gods after him, no gods, in fact, at all....
end nomination
(forehead slap) Yes. I praised it when I should have
been nominating it.
Fourthed.
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| User: "Rv Cloim" |
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| Title: Re: AQOTM nomination (was Fun with Theists) |
22 Oct 2003 09:52:35 PM |
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On Wed, 22 Oct 2003 18:14:12 -0500, Wolf333 wrote:
"Just Jak!" <Jakanapes@aol.com> wrote in message
news:3a7a210f.0310220703.5579b6b3@posting.google.com...
I was having a good natured argument with a friend of mine...
The gist of the discussion was whether or not I was afraid of dying and
not getting into heaven and getting to spend eternity with god.
My point was that if god wouldn't let me in just because I didn't
believe in him, then he's not someone I'd want to hang out with for five
minutes, let alone eternity..., but that I'd probably be able to talk my
way in anyway...(c'mon, how hard could it be to outwit god??)
He allowed that I would probably still get in(since I am a pretty nice
guy), but wondered if I might be in a little bit of trouble for not
following the commandments...
Aha! sez I, But I follow all of them except for honoring the Sabbath(I
do tend to take it easy on most Saturdays, though)...and sometimes I
covet, but mostly minor things, like plasma TVs.
Aha! sez my friend, But what about the first commandment? Worshipping
God?
At this point we stopped to clarify that he was talking about the first
set of commandments (Exodus 20) and the set used by the Protestants, not
by the RCC (they take out the graven image one).
I have to admit that I smirked a bit at this point.
Begin nominated portion
To quote! "You shall have no other gods before me."
Not a problem, sez I! I don't have any other gods before him. I don't
have ANY gods at all....I'm covered. No gods before him, no gods after
him, no gods, in fact, at all....
end nomination
Seconded, or thirded as the case may be.
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| User: "towelie" |
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| Title: Re: AQOTM nomination (was Fun with Theists) |
22 Oct 2003 07:14:25 PM |
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Wolf333 wrote:
Begin nominated portion
To quote! "You shall have no other gods before me."
Not a problem, sez I! I don't have any other gods before him. I
don't have ANY gods at all....I'm covered. No gods before him, no
gods after him, no gods, in fact, at all....
end nomination
Absolutely.
--
Sometimes God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel
better about himself. He is a very vengeful God. He's all *****
about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can't get over
it, so he doesn't care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don't matter
to him, so long as it makes us sad...God gives us life and love and
help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can
drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears that give
God his great power.
aa #2133
apatriot #19
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| User: "*nemo*" |
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| Title: Re: AQOTM nomination (was Fun with Theists) |
24 Oct 2003 04:01:27 AM |
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In article <bn76h2$tlh1p$1@ID-138129.news.uni-berlin.de>,
"towelie" <bugoNOSPAM@hotmail.com> wrote:
Wolf333 wrote:
Begin nominated portion
To quote! "You shall have no other gods before me."
Not a problem, sez I! I don't have any other gods before him. I
don't have ANY gods at all....I'm covered. No gods before him, no
gods after him, no gods, in fact, at all....
end nomination
Absolutely.
Recorded.
--
Nemo - EAC Commissioner for Bible Belt Underwater Operations.
Atheist #1331 (the Palindrome of doom!)
BAAWA Knight! - One of those warm Southern Knights, y'all!
Charter member, SMASH!!
http://home.earthlink.net/~jehdjh/Relpg.html
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
Quotemeister since March 2002
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| User: "Mekkala" |
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| Title: Re: Fun with Theists |
22 Oct 2003 11:12:51 AM |
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On 22 Oct 2003, (Just Jak!) screwed up his face,
groaned, pushed hard, and farted out the following message in
news:3a7a210f.0310220703.5579b6b3@posting.google.com:
I was having a good natured argument with a friend of mine...
The gist of the discussion was whether or not I was afraid of dying
and not getting into heaven and getting to spend eternity with god.
My point was that if god wouldn't let me in just because I didn't
believe in him, then he's not someone I'd want to hang out with for
five minutes, let alone eternity..., but that I'd probably be able to
talk my way in anyway...(c'mon, how hard could it be to outwit god??)
He allowed that I would probably still get in(since I am a pretty nice
guy), but wondered if I might be in a little bit of trouble for not
following the commandments...
Aha! sez I, But I follow all of them except for honoring the Sabbath(I
do tend to take it easy on most Saturdays, though)...and sometimes I
covet, but mostly minor things, like plasma TVs.
Aha! sez my friend, But what about the first commandment? Worshipping
God?
At this point we stopped to clarify that he was talking about the
first set of commandments (Exodus 20) and the set used by the
Protestants, not by the RCC (they take out the graven image one).
I have to admit that I smirked a bit at this point.
To quote! "You shall have no other gods before me."
Not a problem, sez I! I don't have any other gods before him. I
don't have ANY gods at all....I'm covered. No gods before him, no
gods after him, no gods, in fact, at all....
*grin*
I'd never thought about it that way...
--
Mekkala, Atheist #2148
"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly
realized I was talking to myself!"
--Peter O'Toole.
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