| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Shuggy" |
| Date: |
19 Jan 2004 10:26:26 PM |
| Object: |
Funny: Prayer Helps...? |
Hurricane Isabel roared through Virginia Beach, Va., in September,
inflicting serious property damage despite public calls for prayer to
keep it away by local resident Pat Robertson, whose Christian
Broadcasting Network is headquartered there. (In 1998, Robertson
condemned the city of Orlando, Fla., for sponsoring the Gay Days
festival, and warned the city that God could tear it up during
hurricane season for promoting homosexuality. Instead, the first
hurricane to make landfall in 1998, Bonnie, scored a direct hit on
Virginia Beach.) [The Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk), September 16] --
(Chuck Shepherd's "News of the Weird")
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| User: "Geoff" |
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| Title: Re: Funny: Prayer Helps...? |
19 Jan 2004 11:38:33 PM |
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"Shuggy" <jilwil@prodigy.net> wrote in message
news:cb98d700.0401192026.4e3ba381@posting.google.com...
Hurricane Isabel roared through Virginia Beach, Va., in September,
inflicting serious property damage despite public calls for prayer to
keep it away by local resident Pat Robertson, whose Christian
Broadcasting Network is headquartered there. (In 1998, Robertson
condemned the city of Orlando, Fla., for sponsoring the Gay Days
festival, and warned the city that God could tear it up during
hurricane season for promoting homosexuality. Instead, the first
hurricane to make landfall in 1998, Bonnie, scored a direct hit on
Virginia Beach.) [The Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk), September 16] --
(Chuck Shepherd's "News of the Weird")
If that's not proof there is a god, nothing is.
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| User: "Shuggy" |
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| Title: Re: Funny: Prayer Helps...? |
20 Jan 2004 10:14:31 PM |
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"Geoff" <gebobs@yahoo.nospam.com> wrote in message news:<t93Pb.87489$Rc4.373757@attbi_s54>...
"Shuggy" <jilwil@prodigy.net> wrote in message
news:cb98d700.0401192026.4e3ba381@posting.google.com...
Hurricane Isabel roared through Virginia Beach, Va., in September,
inflicting serious property damage despite public calls for prayer to
keep it away by local resident Pat Robertson, whose Christian
Broadcasting Network is headquartered there. (In 1998, Robertson
condemned the city of Orlando, Fla., for sponsoring the Gay Days
festival, and warned the city that God could tear it up during
hurricane season for promoting homosexuality. Instead, the first
hurricane to make landfall in 1998, Bonnie, scored a direct hit on
Virginia Beach.) [The Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk), September 16] --
(Chuck Shepherd's "News of the Weird")
If that's not proof there is a god, nothing is.
Hmm. Interesting point... And clearly, IF there is a god, he hates
evangelists. If there's a hell, then, Pat Robertson has a one-way
ticket reserved and ready for him.
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| User: "MarkA" |
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| Title: Re: Funny: Prayer Helps...? |
20 Jan 2004 06:28:33 AM |
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On Mon, 19 Jan 2004 20:26:26 +0000, Shuggy wrote:
Hurricane Isabel roared through Virginia Beach, Va., in September,
inflicting serious property damage despite public calls for prayer to keep
it away by local resident Pat Robertson, whose Christian Broadcasting
Network is headquartered there. (In 1998, Robertson condemned the city of
Orlando, Fla., for sponsoring the Gay Days festival, and warned the city
that God could tear it up during hurricane season for promoting
homosexuality. Instead, the first hurricane to make landfall in 1998,
Bonnie, scored a direct hit on Virginia Beach.) [The Virginian-Pilot
(Norfolk), September 16] -- (Chuck Shepherd's "News of the Weird")
That just goes to show that you have to be *very careful* when you pray.
God answers prayers, but his hearing isn't so good after all these
millenia.
--
MarkA
(still caught in the maze of twisty little passages, all different)
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| User: "Vic Sagerquist" |
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| Title: Re: Funny: Prayer Helps...? |
19 Jan 2004 11:39:25 PM |
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One day in alt.atheism, Also Sprach Shuggy:
Hurricane Isabel roared through Virginia Beach, Va., in September,
inflicting serious property damage despite public calls for prayer to
keep it away by local resident Pat Robertson, whose Christian
Broadcasting Network is headquartered there. (In 1998, Robertson
condemned the city of Orlando, Fla., for sponsoring the Gay Days
festival, and warned the city that God could tear it up during
hurricane season for promoting homosexuality. Instead, the first
hurricane to make landfall in 1998, Bonnie, scored a direct hit on
Virginia Beach.) [The Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk), September 16] --
(Chuck Shepherd's "News of the Weird")
I've always figured, if I was a god, I'd hate those *****-licking
evangelists, out for nothing but profit on my word.
--
Vic Sagerquist
aa#2011
______________
The fool says in his heart, "There is no God".
The wise man announces it to the world.
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| User: "Doc Smartass" |
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| Title: Re: Funny: Prayer Helps...? |
20 Jan 2004 04:42:49 PM |
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Vic Sagerquist <address@withheld.com> wrote in
news:Xns9475DC54F96FFvicman@204.127.204.17:
One day in alt.atheism, Also Sprach Shuggy:
Hurricane Isabel roared through Virginia Beach, Va., in September,
inflicting serious property damage despite public calls for prayer to
keep it away by local resident Pat Robertson, whose Christian
Broadcasting Network is headquartered there. (In 1998, Robertson
condemned the city of Orlando, Fla., for sponsoring the Gay Days
festival, and warned the city that God could tear it up during
hurricane season for promoting homosexuality. Instead, the first
hurricane to make landfall in 1998, Bonnie, scored a direct hit on
Virginia Beach.) [The Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk), September 16] --
(Chuck Shepherd's "News of the Weird")
I've always figured, if I was a god, I'd hate those *****-licking
evangelists, out for nothing but profit on my word.
I'd be in the smiting business. ANYone speaking for me without proper
credentials (handed out by yours truly) would receive a several million amp
incentive to shut up :)
--Or...as seen in an otherwise unfunny comic strip...ZOT!--
--
Dr. Smartass, ready to fire
BAAWA Knight of Heckling -- a.a. #1939
Dissent is not a right.
It is a RESPONSIBILITY.
--me.
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| User: "Vic Sagerquist" |
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| Title: Re: Funny: Prayer Helps...? |
20 Jan 2004 08:25:04 PM |
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One day in alt.atheism, Also Sprach Doc Smartass:
Vic Sagerquist <address@withheld.com> wrote in
news:Xns9475DC54F96FFvicman@204.127.204.17:
One day in alt.atheism, Also Sprach Shuggy:
Hurricane Isabel roared through Virginia Beach, Va., in September,
inflicting serious property damage despite public calls for prayer
to keep it away by local resident Pat Robertson, whose Christian
Broadcasting Network is headquartered there. (In 1998, Robertson
condemned the city of Orlando, Fla., for sponsoring the Gay Days
festival, and warned the city that God could tear it up during
hurricane season for promoting homosexuality. Instead, the first
hurricane to make landfall in 1998, Bonnie, scored a direct hit on
Virginia Beach.) [The Virginian-Pilot (Norfolk), September 16] --
(Chuck Shepherd's "News of the Weird")
I've always figured, if I was a god, I'd hate those *****-licking
evangelists, out for nothing but profit on my word.
I'd be in the smiting business. ANYone speaking for me without proper
credentials (handed out by yours truly) would receive a several
million amp incentive to shut up :)
--Or...as seen in an otherwise unfunny comic strip...ZOT!--
Why a god needs to be in business is beyond me. Omnipotent masters of
the universe should be quite capable of zapping up a few trillion bucks
in two shakes of a possum's tail. Or seven.
What a god needs money for is beyond me.......
etc.
etc.
etc.
--
Vic Sagerquist
aa#2011
______________
The fool says in his heart, "There is no God".
The wise man announces it to the world.
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| User: "Bill, The Avender" |
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| Title: Re: Funny: Prayer Helps...? |
20 Jan 2004 01:09:00 AM |
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The semi-ambiguous has prompted a "Top Ten" list. Anyone else is
welcomed to use the idea, but hopefully by tomorrow evening, I'll have
something to pose along the lines of:
"Top 10 Things Prayer Can Accomplish"
10. Clearing the knee area of the altar of all pebbles, stones and
other objects which are irritating to kneecaps.
9. Getting a speck of dirt out of your eye. The more frequently you
pray, the faster it works.
8. You can take a moment to have a sexual fantasy about the hot stud
in front of you - even getting a good inspection of his ***** during the
_standing_ prayers - and none of the "good Christians" around you will
suspect a _thing_. Anyone who catches you will be shamed into not
telling by not wanting to admit that they were being "irreverent"
enough to not have closed their eyes. Such illicit fantasies of hot
studs are particularly delightful in a fundamentalist church if you,
yourself, are _also_ a stud, whether hot or not. ;-)
....
Okay, that's the last 3. I gotta' get to bed, I'll work on it more
tomorrow. ;-)
--
L8r,
Bill
~*.**~.**.*~*.**.~**.*~.***.~*.**~.**.*~*.**~
The early bird gets the worm. The early worm,
on the other hand, just gets eaten.
~*.**~.**.*~*.**.~**.*~.***.~*.**~.**.*~*.**~
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