GAWD DAMN!



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Topic: Religions > Atheism
User: "*nemo*"
Date: 23 Aug 2005 05:25:29 PM
Object: GAWD DAMN!
A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!
--
Nemo - EAC Commissioner for Bible Belt Underwater Operations.
Atheist #1331 (the Palindrome of doom!)
BAAWA Knight! - One of those warm Southern Knights, y'all!
Charter member, SMASH!!
http://home.earthlink.net/~jehdjh/Relpg.html
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
Quotemeister since March 2002
.

User: "Pat Kiewicz"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 24 Aug 2005 07:48:27 AM
*nemo* said:


A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!

Mowing is a sweaty job as it is, and you went and made it worse...
I think of it as excercise. I have to excercise anyway--might as well get
something useful done at the same time... No ride-on or self-propelled
for me! (No gasoline either--I use a cordless electric mower.) For me,
a lawn mowing takes the same amount of time as walking about 3-1/2
miles (with more upper-body work).
Pendant mode:
Both you *and* the grass suffered for it. Anything else good you do
for your lawn can be undone by improper mowing. (Mow at the
correct height, mow with sharp blades and mow often enough that
you aren't cutting off more than 1/3 the length of the blades.)
--
Pat K. aa#1154 ('someplace.net' is comcast)

Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
(attributed to Don Marti)
.
User: "*nemo*"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 25 Aug 2005 04:03:35 AM
In article <WbqdnSp31MsG8ZHeRVn-jQ@comcast.com>,
(Pat Kiewicz) wrote:

*nemo* said:


A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!

Mowing is a sweaty job as it is, and you went and made it worse...

I think of it as excercise. I have to excercise anyway--might as well get
something useful done at the same time... No ride-on or self-propelled
for me! (No gasoline either--I use a cordless electric mower.) For me,
a lawn mowing takes the same amount of time as walking about 3-1/2
miles (with more upper-body work).

Pendant mode:
Both you *and* the grass suffered for it. Anything else good you do
for your lawn can be undone by improper mowing. (Mow at the
correct height, mow with sharp blades and mow often enough that
you aren't cutting off more than 1/3 the length of the blades.)

Well, it wasn't really something I wanted to happen. Some company came
out a month ago, and painted lines in my yard, saying they were about to
dig up the yard to replace some underground cables. I decided to stay
out of their way and let them have their way with the place, then come
in after they got done and repair the damages.
They dug up the yards of the neighbors on either side of me, but never
came to bother my yard. I STILL have a huge orange "Utillity Work" sign
in my front yard. Bastards.
--
Nemo - EAC Commissioner for Bible Belt Underwater Operations.
Atheist #1331 (the Palindrome of doom!)
BAAWA Knight! - One of those warm Southern Knights, y'all!
Charter member, SMASH!!
http://home.earthlink.net/~jehdjh/Relpg.html
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
Quotemeister since March 2002
.
User: "Pat Kiewicz"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 25 Aug 2005 07:46:27 AM
*nemo* said:



Well, it wasn't really something I wanted to happen. Some company came
out a month ago, and painted lines in my yard, saying they were about to
dig up the yard to replace some underground cables. I decided to stay
out of their way and let them have their way with the place, then come
in after they got done and repair the damages.

They dug up the yards of the neighbors on either side of me, but never
came to bother my yard. I STILL have a huge orange "Utillity Work" sign
in my front yard. Bastards.

Oh, the old "Utility Work" gambit. Cousin to the "Road Work" gambit.
I remember thinking all those different colored flags meant work was
immanent. Mowed around those buggers many times (and they were
getting pretty faded) before any real work started.
Had the job *partly* done when winter set in...all the drains were an inch
or so above the pavement level. Snow melt=large puddles.
The final work was artfully delayed such that restoration* didn't happen
until the hottest days of summer kicked in.
*fill dirt worse than what they scraped off the dirt road they were paving,
covered with a half-inch of black stuff they scraped from some swamp
somewhere, with a blast of hydroseed on top.
--
Pat K. aa#1154 ('someplace.net' is comcast)

Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
(attributed to Don Marti)
.



User: "J Forbes"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 23 Aug 2005 11:48:07 PM
*nemo* wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!

I usually wait a year, since it's usually dry in AZ. although this has
been a wet month, and I'm regretting not having fixed the riding mower
yet, it's starting to show it's age, the carb went kaput now that I've
fixed the blades and the battery.
Jim
proud owner of 4 acres of Arizona weeds
.
User: "stoney"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 28 Aug 2005 02:58:14 PM
On 23 Aug 2005 21:48:07 -0700, "J Forbes" <jforbspam@fastmail.fm>
wrote:


*nemo* wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


I usually wait a year, since it's usually dry in AZ. although this has
been a wet month, and I'm regretting not having fixed the riding mower
yet, it's starting to show it's age, the carb went kaput now that I've
fixed the blades and the battery.

Jim
proud owner of 4 acres of Arizona weeds

Dry'em and smoke'm.... ;)
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.


User: "chibiabos"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 23 Aug 2005 05:35:43 PM
In article <nemo0037-CC9124.18243723082005@news1.west.earthlink.net>,
*nemo* <nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!

Do what I did. Plant rocks.
I haven't mowed a lawn in 15 years.
-chib
--
Member of SMASH
Sarcastic Middle-aged Atheists with a Sense of Humor
(email: change out to in)
.
User: "Harry F. Leopold"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 23 Aug 2005 06:04:03 PM
On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 17:35:43 -0500, chibiabos wrote
(in article <230820051535436924%chib@outreach.com>):

In article <nemo0037-CC9124.18243723082005@news1.west.earthlink.net>,
*nemo* <nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


Do what I did. Plant rocks.

What do you use as fertilizer, sand? And how often do you need to water the
rocks. (I would hate to have the rocks die on me after going to all the
trouble of planting them.

I haven't mowed a lawn in 15 years.

But if the rocks keep growing soon you will need to learn mountain climbing
in order to get in and out of your home.
;-)
--
Harry F. Leopold
aa #2076
AA/Vet #4
The Prints of Darkness
(remove gene to email)
Donšt forget your Decoder Weasel
.

User: "Uncle Vic"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 23 Aug 2005 07:41:25 PM
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet chibiabos (chib@outreach.com)
made the light shine upon us with this:

In article <nemo0037-CC9124.18243723082005@news1.west.earthlink.net>,
*nemo* <nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


Do what I did. Plant rocks.

I haven't mowed a lawn in 15 years.

-chib

I'm making plans to pull out the sprinklers, roto-till the front lawn, and
lay concrete right up to the foundation. My kids are getting older, and
not showing any signs of moving out. We're going to need a parking lot.
--
Uncle Vic
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
http://home.comcast.net/~vickman/
Plonked by Raytard
.


User: "Steve Knight"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 23 Aug 2005 08:35:00 PM
On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!

I understand this.
It's not a tragedy, just hard work and a lot of raking. BUT, it's
good for the lawn. Your lawn will be thicker because you're 'topped'
the growing ends and they will split.
Every few months, lower your mower a notch and have at it. it'll
look like ***** but will come back thick and lust. Fertilize with
30/10/10. Grasses eat a lot of Nitrogen. Did you know sugar cane was a
grass?... I wander...
The current problem with my lawn is some dog using it every night
as a cesspool. You know, pet owners that let their dog out at night to
relieve themselves so they won't have to pick up their *****. I've been
leaving Snicker's bar out on my lawn and they're gone every morning.
Chocolate makes dogs ***** uncontrollably. So my visual is the dog
going home and a few hours later crapping all over the owners house
and dragging its incontinent butt over the new white carpet.
Warlord Steve
BAAWA
www.sonic.net/~wooly
.
User: "Peacenik"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 23 Aug 2005 11:10:14 PM
"Steve Knight" <wooly@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:8qing1lcfuirmm7o3tie5p4ac5lvilrrup@4ax.com...

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

Did you know sugar cane was a
grass?...

So are corn and bamboo.
.
User: "Gregory Gadow"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 24 Aug 2005 08:05:12 AM
Peacenik wrote:

"Steve Knight" <wooly@sonic.net> wrote in message
news:8qing1lcfuirmm7o3tie5p4ac5lvilrrup@4ax.com...

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

Did you know sugar cane was a
grass?...


So are corn and bamboo.

So are wheat, rye, barley, oats, triticale, quinoa, rice and wild rice
(which isn't really rice at all.)
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
http://www.serv.net/~techbear
"Without faith we might relapse into scientific or rational thinking,
which leads by a slippery slope toward constitutional democracy."
- Robert Anton Wilson
.


User: "*nemo*"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 24 Aug 2005 05:05:40 AM
In article <8qing1lcfuirmm7o3tie5p4ac5lvilrrup@4ax.com>,
Steve Knight <wooly@sonic.net> wrote:

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


I understand this.

It's not a tragedy, just hard work and a lot of raking. BUT, it's
good for the lawn. Your lawn will be thicker because you're 'topped'
the growing ends and they will split.

Every few months, lower your mower a notch and have at it. it'll
look like ***** but will come back thick and lust. Fertilize with
30/10/10. Grasses eat a lot of Nitrogen.

I'll have to go out and get me some of that this weekend. I gotta seed a
few spots...

Did you know sugar cane was a
grass?... I wander...

I'm heading to Maui next week. Might try and get me some seed. Yum.

The current problem with my lawn is some dog using it every night
as a cesspool. You know, pet owners that let their dog out at night to
relieve themselves so they won't have to pick up their *****. I've been
leaving Snicker's bar out on my lawn and they're gone every morning.
Chocolate makes dogs ***** uncontrollably. So my visual is the dog
going home and a few hours later crapping all over the owners house
and dragging its incontinent butt over the new white carpet.

I like your thinking. Snickers bars are great bullets for dogs, since
cats don't bother with sweets.

Warlord Steve
BAAWA
www.sonic.net/~wooly

--
Nemo - EAC Commissioner for Bible Belt Underwater Operations.
Atheist #1331 (the Palindrome of doom!)
BAAWA Knight! - One of those warm Southern Knights, y'all!
Charter member, SMASH!!
http://home.earthlink.net/~jehdjh/Relpg.html
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
Quotemeister since March 2002
.

User: "Kate "

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 24 Aug 2005 09:41:02 AM
On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 01:35:00 GMT, Steve Knight <wooly@sonic.net>
wrote:

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


I understand this.

It's not a tragedy, just hard work and a lot of raking. BUT, it's
good for the lawn. Your lawn will be thicker because you're 'topped'
the growing ends and they will split.

Every few months, lower your mower a notch and have at it. it'll
look like ***** but will come back thick and lust. Fertilize with
30/10/10. Grasses eat a lot of Nitrogen. Did you know sugar cane was a
grass?... I wander...

The current problem with my lawn is some dog using it every night
as a cesspool. You know, pet owners that let their dog out at night to
relieve themselves so they won't have to pick up their *****. I've been
leaving Snicker's bar out on my lawn and they're gone every morning.
Chocolate makes dogs ***** uncontrollably. So my visual is the dog
going home and a few hours later crapping all over the owners house
and dragging its incontinent butt over the new white carpet.

Chocolate is poison to dogs.
.
User: "Uncle Buck"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 24 Aug 2005 08:45:34 PM
On 24 Aug 2005 09:41:02 -0500,
(Kate ) wrote:

On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 01:35:00 GMT, Steve Knight <wooly@sonic.net>
wrote:

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


I understand this.

It's not a tragedy, just hard work and a lot of raking. BUT, it's
good for the lawn. Your lawn will be thicker because you're 'topped'
the growing ends and they will split.

Every few months, lower your mower a notch and have at it. it'll
look like ***** but will come back thick and lust. Fertilize with
30/10/10. Grasses eat a lot of Nitrogen. Did you know sugar cane was a
grass?... I wander...

The current problem with my lawn is some dog using it every night
as a cesspool. You know, pet owners that let their dog out at night to
relieve themselves so they won't have to pick up their *****. I've been
leaving Snicker's bar out on my lawn and they're gone every morning.
Chocolate makes dogs ***** uncontrollably. So my visual is the dog
going home and a few hours later crapping all over the owners house
and dragging its incontinent butt over the new white carpet.


Chocolate is poison to dogs.

Most things that make you ***** uncontrollably are. :-)
--
L8r,
Uncle Buck
_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=
http://surrenderingtothefall.blogspot.com
~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o
"I absolutely detest it when people quote
themselves." - Me
.

User: "Steve Knight"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 24 Aug 2005 08:52:23 PM
On 24 Aug 2005 09:41:02 -0500,
(Kate ) wrote:

On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 01:35:00 GMT, Steve Knight <wooly@sonic.net>
wrote:

The current problem with my lawn is some dog using it every night
as a cesspool. You know, pet owners that let their dog out at night to
relieve themselves so they won't have to pick up their *****. I've been
leaving Snicker's bar out on my lawn and they're gone every morning.
Chocolate makes dogs ***** uncontrollably. So my visual is the dog
going home and a few hours later crapping all over the owners house
and dragging its incontinent butt over the new white carpet.


Chocolate is poison to dogs.

Then shitting on my lawn is a death sentence.
Unfortunately, the Snickers aren't working. I found three piles of
dog ***** on my lawn this morning. My yard isn't exactly open. You have
to go down the driveway and walk through a five foot opening to the
front yard. The rest is fenced. This is conclusive proof that a dog(s)
consider my front yard a shithole.
This is intolerable. I will not clean up another persons dog *****.
I consider my lawn more inportant than a dog's life. After work today,
I purchase a very powerful pellet gun and a motion sensor for the five
foot entry.
Warlord Steve
BAAWA
www.sonic.net/~wooly
.
User: "Kate "

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 25 Aug 2005 08:37:03 AM
On Thu, 25 Aug 2005 01:52:23 GMT, Steve Knight <wooly@sonic.net>
wrote:

On 24 Aug 2005 09:41:02 -0500,

(Kate ) wrote:

On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 01:35:00 GMT, Steve Knight <wooly@sonic.net>
wrote:


The current problem with my lawn is some dog using it every night
as a cesspool. You know, pet owners that let their dog out at night to
relieve themselves so they won't have to pick up their *****. I've been
leaving Snicker's bar out on my lawn and they're gone every morning.
Chocolate makes dogs ***** uncontrollably. So my visual is the dog
going home and a few hours later crapping all over the owners house
and dragging its incontinent butt over the new white carpet.


Chocolate is poison to dogs.


Then shitting on my lawn is a death sentence.

Unfortunately, the Snickers aren't working. I found three piles of
dog ***** on my lawn this morning. My yard isn't exactly open. You have
to go down the driveway and walk through a five foot opening to the
front yard. The rest is fenced. This is conclusive proof that a dog(s)
consider my front yard a shithole.

This is intolerable. I will not clean up another persons dog *****.
I consider my lawn more inportant than a dog's life. After work today,
I purchase a very powerful pellet gun and a motion sensor for the five
foot entry.

Invite all the neighbors over for dog burgers. That should make your
point.
.

User: "Randy Day"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 24 Aug 2005 10:30:43 PM
Steve Knight wrote:
[snip]

This is intolerable. I will not clean up another persons dog *****.
I consider my lawn more inportant than a dog's life. After work today,
I purchase a very powerful pellet gun and a motion sensor for the five
foot entry.

How 'bout a webcam instead? Get the culprit on disk,
then get its owners in ***** with Animal Control...
--
R
Atheist Chair,
EAC Disciplinary Committee
.



User: "stoney"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 28 Aug 2005 02:56:42 PM
On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 01:35:00 GMT, Steve Knight <wooly@sonic.net>
wrote:

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


I understand this.

It's not a tragedy, just hard work and a lot of raking. BUT, it's
good for the lawn. Your lawn will be thicker because you're 'topped'
the growing ends and they will split.

Every few months, lower your mower a notch and have at it. it'll
look like ***** but will come back thick and lust. Fertilize with
30/10/10. Grasses eat a lot of Nitrogen. Did you know sugar cane was a
grass?... I wander...

The current problem with my lawn is some dog using it every night
as a cesspool. You know, pet owners that let their dog out at night to
relieve themselves so they won't have to pick up their *****. I've been
leaving Snicker's bar out on my lawn and they're gone every morning.
Chocolate makes dogs ***** uncontrollably. So my visual is the dog
going home and a few hours later crapping all over the owners house
and dragging its incontinent butt over the new white carpet.

rrrrrrroooooooollllllllllliiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggg
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.


User: "Uncle Buck"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 24 Aug 2005 12:01:04 AM
On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!

Oh, that's _nothing_. Once, I lived with a lesbian motorcyle
enthusiast with tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with
multiple body piercings in many diverse locations. For months and
months and months, she was going to get us a lawn mower "any day now".
I offered to get us one, she just kept saying nahhhh, that she has a
friend of a friend of a friend who can loan us one. Finally, when the
grass was no less than _THREE_ feet tall, she gets one. And _WHO_
gets to mow the lawn?
Hey, you do _NOT_ say no to a lesbian motorcycle enthusiast with
tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with multiple body
piercings in many diverse locations. That would just be plain
*crazy*.... Took three damn days for a yard that couldn't have been
much bigger than your average toaster oven, but I finally got it done.
:-)
--
L8r,
Uncle Buck
_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=
http://surrenderingtothefall.blogspot.com
~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o
"I absolutely detest it when people quote
themselves." - Me
.
User: "Gregory Gadow"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 24 Aug 2005 08:07:40 AM
Uncle Buck wrote:

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


Oh, that's _nothing_. Once, I lived with a lesbian motorcyle
enthusiast with tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with
multiple body piercings in many diverse locations. For months and
months and months, she was going to get us a lawn mower "any day now".
I offered to get us one, she just kept saying nahhhh, that she has a
friend of a friend of a friend who can loan us one. Finally, when the
grass was no less than _THREE_ feet tall, she gets one. And _WHO_
gets to mow the lawn?

Hey, you do _NOT_ say no to a lesbian motorcycle enthusiast with
tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with multiple body
piercings in many diverse locations. That would just be plain
*crazy*.... Took three damn days for a yard that couldn't have been
much bigger than your average toaster oven, but I finally got it done.

At that point, I would have contacted the local agricultural school and
hired some animals to just eat the grass down.
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
http://www.serv.net/~techbear
"Without faith we might relapse into scientific or rational thinking,
which leads by a slippery slope toward constitutional democracy."
- Robert Anton Wilson
.
User: "*nemo*"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 25 Aug 2005 03:58:06 AM
In article <430C711C.43F74409@serv.net>,
Gregory Gadow <techbear@serv.net> wrote:

Uncle Buck wrote:

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


Oh, that's _nothing_. Once, I lived with a lesbian motorcyle
enthusiast with tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with
multiple body piercings in many diverse locations. For months and
months and months, she was going to get us a lawn mower "any day now".
I offered to get us one, she just kept saying nahhhh, that she has a
friend of a friend of a friend who can loan us one. Finally, when the
grass was no less than _THREE_ feet tall, she gets one. And _WHO_
gets to mow the lawn?

Hey, you do _NOT_ say no to a lesbian motorcycle enthusiast with
tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with multiple body
piercings in many diverse locations. That would just be plain
*crazy*.... Took three damn days for a yard that couldn't have been
much bigger than your average toaster oven, but I finally got it done.


At that point, I would have contacted the local agricultural school and
hired some animals to just eat the grass down.
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
http://www.serv.net/~techbear

"Without faith we might relapse into scientific or rational thinking,
which leads by a slippery slope toward constitutional democracy."
- Robert Anton Wilson


Or maybe employ a weed whacker...?
--
Nemo - EAC Commissioner for Bible Belt Underwater Operations.
Atheist #1331 (the Palindrome of doom!)
BAAWA Knight! - One of those warm Southern Knights, y'all!
Charter member, SMASH!!
http://home.earthlink.net/~jehdjh/Relpg.html
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
Quotemeister since March 2002
.
User: "Gregory Gadow"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 25 Aug 2005 08:15:45 AM
*nemo* wrote:

In article <430C711C.43F74409@serv.net>,
Gregory Gadow <techbear@serv.net> wrote:

Uncle Buck wrote:

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


Oh, that's _nothing_. Once, I lived with a lesbian motorcyle
enthusiast with tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with
multiple body piercings in many diverse locations. For months and
months and months, she was going to get us a lawn mower "any day now".
I offered to get us one, she just kept saying nahhhh, that she has a
friend of a friend of a friend who can loan us one. Finally, when the
grass was no less than _THREE_ feet tall, she gets one. And _WHO_
gets to mow the lawn?

Hey, you do _NOT_ say no to a lesbian motorcycle enthusiast with
tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with multiple body
piercings in many diverse locations. That would just be plain
*crazy*.... Took three damn days for a yard that couldn't have been
much bigger than your average toaster oven, but I finally got it done.


At that point, I would have contacted the local agricultural school and
hired some animals to just eat the grass down.


Or maybe employ a weed whacker...?

Eh, by this time, the weeds are too twiggy to be whacked down without a lot of
work. If you insist on doing it manually, a scythe would be a much better
solution. But why not hire some farm animals to do it for you? Your yard gets
both trimmed back nicely and fertilized at the same time :-) Goats are best,
as they can and will eat anything but bramble. Horses and cows are more picky,
although if you have mostly grass, that's fine. Sheep will chomp grass down to
the ground, so they are not your best choice.
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
http://www.serv.net/~techbear
"Without faith we might relapse into scientific or rational thinking,
which leads by a slippery slope toward constitutional democracy."
- Robert Anton Wilson
.
User: "stoney"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 28 Aug 2005 02:59:55 PM
On Thu, 25 Aug 2005 06:15:45 -0700, Gregory Gadow <techbear@serv.net>
wrote:

*nemo* wrote:

In article <430C711C.43F74409@serv.net>,
Gregory Gadow <techbear@serv.net> wrote:

Uncle Buck wrote:

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


Oh, that's _nothing_. Once, I lived with a lesbian motorcyle
enthusiast with tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with
multiple body piercings in many diverse locations. For months and
months and months, she was going to get us a lawn mower "any day now".
I offered to get us one, she just kept saying nahhhh, that she has a
friend of a friend of a friend who can loan us one. Finally, when the
grass was no less than _THREE_ feet tall, she gets one. And _WHO_
gets to mow the lawn?

Hey, you do _NOT_ say no to a lesbian motorcycle enthusiast with
tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with multiple body
piercings in many diverse locations. That would just be plain
*crazy*.... Took three damn days for a yard that couldn't have been
much bigger than your average toaster oven, but I finally got it done.


At that point, I would have contacted the local agricultural school and
hired some animals to just eat the grass down.


Or maybe employ a weed whacker...?


Eh, by this time, the weeds are too twiggy to be whacked down without a lot of
work. If you insist on doing it manually, a scythe would be a much better
solution. But why not hire some farm animals to do it for you? Your yard gets
both trimmed back nicely and fertilized at the same time :-) Goats are best,
as they can and will eat anything but bramble. Horses and cows are more picky,
although if you have mostly grass, that's fine. Sheep will chomp grass down to
the ground, so they are not your best choice.

Damn! Then Baptists aren't the ones to call.
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.


User: "Uncle Buck"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 26 Aug 2005 12:31:56 AM
On Thu, 25 Aug 2005 08:58:06 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

In article <430C711C.43F74409@serv.net>,
Gregory Gadow <techbear@serv.net> wrote:

Uncle Buck wrote:

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


Oh, that's _nothing_. Once, I lived with a lesbian motorcyle
enthusiast with tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with
multiple body piercings in many diverse locations. For months and
months and months, she was going to get us a lawn mower "any day now".
I offered to get us one, she just kept saying nahhhh, that she has a
friend of a friend of a friend who can loan us one. Finally, when the
grass was no less than _THREE_ feet tall, she gets one. And _WHO_
gets to mow the lawn?

Hey, you do _NOT_ say no to a lesbian motorcycle enthusiast with
tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with multiple body
piercings in many diverse locations. That would just be plain
*crazy*.... Took three damn days for a yard that couldn't have been
much bigger than your average toaster oven, but I finally got it done.


At that point, I would have contacted the local agricultural school and
hired some animals to just eat the grass down.
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
http://www.serv.net/~techbear

"Without faith we might relapse into scientific or rational thinking,
which leads by a slippery slope toward constitutional democracy."
- Robert Anton Wilson



Or maybe employ a weed whacker...?

Well, I'm not sure about "weed whackers", but I'm pretty sure that
among her acquaintances, I could have found a _bush_-whacker or two.
:-)
--
L8r,
Uncle Buck
_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=~_o-O=
http://surrenderingtothefall.blogspot.com
~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o_~=O-o
"I absolutely detest it when people quote
themselves." - Me
.


User: "stoney"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 28 Aug 2005 02:59:21 PM
On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 06:07:40 -0700, Gregory Gadow <techbear@serv.net>
wrote:

Uncle Buck wrote:

On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


Oh, that's _nothing_. Once, I lived with a lesbian motorcyle
enthusiast with tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with
multiple body piercings in many diverse locations. For months and
months and months, she was going to get us a lawn mower "any day now".
I offered to get us one, she just kept saying nahhhh, that she has a
friend of a friend of a friend who can loan us one. Finally, when the
grass was no less than _THREE_ feet tall, she gets one. And _WHO_
gets to mow the lawn?

Hey, you do _NOT_ say no to a lesbian motorcycle enthusiast with
tattoos from one side of her body to the next and with multiple body
piercings in many diverse locations. That would just be plain
*crazy*.... Took three damn days for a yard that couldn't have been
much bigger than your average toaster oven, but I finally got it done.


At that point, I would have contacted the local agricultural school and
hired some animals to just eat the grass down.

So you called the local Baptists in for a free lunch.
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.



User: "stoney"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 28 Aug 2005 02:54:29 PM
On Tue, 23 Aug 2005 22:25:29 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!

Push mowing's a *****.
(wide-eyed innocence)
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.

User: "Uncle Vic"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 23 Aug 2005 07:38:53 PM
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet *nemo* (nemo0037
@earthlink.dieSPAM.net) made the light shine upon us with this:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!

Oh *****! My back yard is about a foot deep. The dogs love it. What do I
have to look forward to?
My dogs spend a lot of time on our forested hillside, and as a result I get
quite a few large rocks tumbling down onto the back lawn. My rotary mower
propelled a few through a few windows, to the tune of $300.00 and a severe
cut to the contractor we hired to replace them (it apparently wasn't severe
enough to file a lawsuit - who needs that *****?)
My front yard has a bunch of those long shoots growing out of it. It looks
really nice and disheveled. That's OK, nobody's trying to sell out within
view of my property.
So what did the lawnmower find?
--
Uncle Vic
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
http://home.comcast.net/~vickman/
Plonked by Raytard
.
User: "*nemo*"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 24 Aug 2005 05:07:43 AM
In article <Xns96BBB3A06DFD3vicman@216.196.97.136>,
Uncle Vic <address@withheld.com> wrote:

Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet *nemo* (nemo0037
@earthlink.dieSPAM.net) made the light shine upon us with this:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


Oh *****! My back yard is about a foot deep. The dogs love it. What do I
have to look forward to?

Who knows what's lurking out there? Treasures galore.

My dogs spend a lot of time on our forested hillside, and as a result I get
quite a few large rocks tumbling down onto the back lawn. My rotary mower
propelled a few through a few windows, to the tune of $300.00 and a severe
cut to the contractor we hired to replace them (it apparently wasn't severe
enough to file a lawsuit - who needs that *****?)

My front yard has a bunch of those long shoots growing out of it. It looks
really nice and disheveled. That's OK, nobody's trying to sell out within
view of my property.

So what did the lawnmower find?

Nothing but a bunch of fallen branches and a few thousand
ex-grasshoppers. Poor dopes....
--
Nemo - EAC Commissioner for Bible Belt Underwater Operations.
Atheist #1331 (the Palindrome of doom!)
BAAWA Knight! - One of those warm Southern Knights, y'all!
Charter member, SMASH!!
http://home.earthlink.net/~jehdjh/Relpg.html
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
Quotemeister since March 2002
.
User: "stoney"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 28 Aug 2005 02:55:53 PM
On Wed, 24 Aug 2005 10:07:43 GMT, *nemo*
<nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net> wrote:

In article <Xns96BBB3A06DFD3vicman@216.196.97.136>,
Uncle Vic <address@withheld.com> wrote:

Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet *nemo* (nemo0037
@earthlink.dieSPAM.net) made the light shine upon us with this:

A hard lesson learned -- never wait a full month between mowings!


Oh *****! My back yard is about a foot deep. The dogs love it. What do I
have to look forward to?

Who knows what's lurking out there? Treasures galore.

My dogs spend a lot of time on our forested hillside, and as a result I get
quite a few large rocks tumbling down onto the back lawn. My rotary mower
propelled a few through a few windows, to the tune of $300.00 and a severe
cut to the contractor we hired to replace them (it apparently wasn't severe
enough to file a lawsuit - who needs that *****?)

My front yard has a bunch of those long shoots growing out of it. It looks
really nice and disheveled. That's OK, nobody's trying to sell out within
view of my property.

So what did the lawnmower find?


Nothing but a bunch of fallen branches and a few thousand
ex-grasshoppers. Poor dopes....

You're lucky you wiped out the locust army staging area.....
--
Contempt of Congress meter reading-offscale.
Hello, theocracy with a fundamentalist US Supreme
Court who will ensure church and state are joined
at the hip like clergy and altar boys.
America 1776-Jan 2001 RIP
"As democracy is perfected, the office of president
represents, more and more closely, the inner soul
of the people. On some great and glorious day the
plain folks of the land will reach their heart's
desire at last and the White House will be adorned
by a downright moron." --- H.L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)
Religion is the original war crime.
-Michelle Malkin (Feb 26, 2005)
.

User: "Uncle Vic"

Title: Re: GAWD DAMN! 26 Aug 2005 02:19:25 PM
Once upon a time in alt.atheism, dear sweet *nemo*
(nemo0037@earthlink.dieSPAM.net) made the light shine upon us with this:

Oh *****! My back yard is about a foot deep. The dogs love it. What
do I have to look forward to?

Who knows what's lurking out there? Treasures galore.

Maybe I'll find another dog.
--
Uncle Vic
aa#2011
Supervisor, EAC Department of little adhesive-backed "L" shaped
chrome-plastic doo-dads to add feet to Jesus fish department
http://home.comcast.net/~vickman/
Plonked by Raytard
.




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