| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Radical aeasterbunnyist" |
| Date: |
27 Apr 2005 05:24:11 AM |
| Object: |
God's call queue message |
Your call is important to us, and will be answered as soon as a
representative is available.
<solemn monastic music>
If you would like, rather than remain in the queue, you can ask for a
callback by pressing key 1 at any time. You will recieve a callback
within 6 working days.
<more solemn monastic music>
David Silverman F.L.A.H.N. aa #2208
Due to be prayed for by Gastrich 11.3.2011
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| User: "JPG" |
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| Title: Re: God's call queue message |
27 Apr 2005 07:54:54 AM |
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On Wed, 27 Apr 2005 11:24:11 +0100, Radical aeasterbunnyist
<Kent.Hovis@answersinapigsear.org> wrote:
Your call is important to us, and will be answered as soon as a
representative is available.
<solemn monastic music>
If you would like, rather than remain in the queue, you can ask for a
callback by pressing key 1 at any time. You will recieve a callback
within 6 working days.
<more solemn monastic music>
David Silverman F.L.A.H.N. aa #2208
Due to be prayed for by Gastrich 11.3.2011
I could imagine the late Dave Allen producing something like this:
Bless you my son, this is the Vatican automated confessional service, please
enter 1 for confession, 2 for any other business.
You have requested the confessional, please indicate the nature of your sin by
pressing:
1. for masturbation
2. for using a condom
3. for blasphemy
4. for impregnation by an incubus
5. for gross moral turpitude
6. for criminal activity
Please indicate the nature of your moral turpitude, press:
1. pre-marital sex
2. using contraception
3. oral sex
4. sex with children (Priests excepted)
5. enjoying sex.
For actually enjoying sex, and not considering it your duty to add another human
being to the planet, you must choose your choose your penance, press:
1. Hail Marys (press number required)
2. Extra days in purgatory (press number required).
3. Contributions to the offertory box (indicate amount).
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