Religions > Atheism > GOP Unveils Ambitious Plan to Lengthen American Life Expectancy
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Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Yang, AthD h.c, Kicking AWOLs Cocaine Snorting Ass" |
| Date: |
28 Mar 2005 02:33:09 AM |
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GOP Unveils Ambitious Plan to Lengthen American Life Expectancy |
WASHINGTON (EAP) Noting that Americans have one of the lower life
expectancies amongst developed nations, President Bush has unveiled an
ambitious new plan to extend American life expectancy.
"It's very simple", said Whitehouse spokesman Scott McClellan, "We
plan to hook every elderly American to these machines whether they
want to or not." pointing to the large contraption behind him. "This
maching contains an external artifical heart, a ventilator, and a
feeding tube. Whith this machine, the life expectancy of a person is
theoretically infinity". By the year 2150, the average life expectancy
of an American will be 235 under this plan, according to GAO
actuaries.
Critics of Bush's plan have derided it as "zombie machines gone
wrong". Among them is Professor Primo Levi, a bioethicist at
Miskatonic Univercity : "The Republicans have no conpect of life. To
them, Teddy Ruxbin is 'alive'."
However, that has not deterred various corporate backers of the GOP.
Larry Smith, the spokeperson for General Automotive:" We offshored all
our operations and had to shut down this massive auto plant in
Detroit. With thsi new proposal, we can convert this abandoned
building to a giant hospice warehousing hundres of thousands of
seniors hooked up to this machine, threby receiving billions of
government subsidy money and doing our patriotic duty to increase
average American life expectancy."
Because passing a law of this magnitude is probably unconstitutional,
the GOP congress will pass more than 50 million laws in the upcoming
month, each one specifically tailored to extend the liffespan of a
American senior.
This week the GOP congress plan to pass the "Aaron A. Aaron of
Madison, Wiscon Law", right on up to "Johnny C. Johnson of Columbus,
Ohio Law". Seniors whose bodies will be hooked up to these machines
will have a letter send to them.
-----
Yang
a.a. #28
AthD (h.c.) conferred by the regents of the LCL
a.a. pastor #-273.15, the most frigid church of Celcius nee Kelvin
EAC Econometric Forecast and Sorcery Division
Proudly plonked by Lani Girl and Crazyalec (aka aka Yang's little poltregeist *****)
The Bush 'balanced' budget: 1.6 trillion and worsening
The Bush 'economic' policy: 12 million FEWER jobs than Clinton and counting
The Bush Iraq lie: -1527 GIs, one friend's co-worker's son and mounting
Having Bush ***** up my country: Worthless
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| User: "Brian E. Clark" |
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| Title: Re: GOP Unveils Ambitious Plan to Lengthen American Life Expectancy |
28 Mar 2005 12:17:30 PM |
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In article <1oef415jnt7pge7cqvm4fdmold995n1e4b@4ax.com>, Yang,
AthD (h.c), Kicking AWOL's Cocaine Snorting ***** said...
"It's very simple", said Whitehouse spokesman Scott McClellan, "We
plan to hook every elderly American to these machines whether they
want to or not."
McClellan added, "Funding the plan will require reductions in
Medicare spending and a new round of tax cuts."
[...] Among them is Professor Primo Levi, a bioethicist at
Miskatonic
^^^^^^^^^^
Heh. Nice touch.
--
-----------
Brian E. Clark
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| User: "Roedy Green" |
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| Title: Re: GOP Unveils Ambitious Plan to Lengthen American Life Expectancy |
28 Mar 2005 03:18:12 AM |
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On Mon, 28 Mar 2005 00:33:09 -0800, "Yang, AthD (h.c), Kicking AWOL's
Cocaine Snorting *****" <eacmole@/*AWOLBUSH*/mail.com> wrote or quoted :
Noting that Americans have one of the lower life
expectancies amongst developed nations
Why is that so?
1. you have a very large wealth gap. The people on the bottom cannot
afford to look after themselves.
2. you are the only developed nation that does not have universal
health care. You let sick people run around untreated making other
people sick.
3. You are very casual about pollution. Bush redefined pig ***** as
"landfill" so that it is no longer considered a water contaminant.
There is so much mercury it is unsafe for children or pregnant women
to eat fresh water fish. Bush relaxed the constraints on mercury even
further for coal fired electric plants -- the major source of mercury
contamination.
Republicans claim to believe Bush when he tells them UA Flight 93
was hijacked by Saudi terrorists who were not aboard.
--
Canadian Mind Products, Roedy Green.
See http://mindprod.com/iraq.html photos of Bush's war crimes
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| User: "Gregory Gadow" |
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| Title: Re: GOP Unveils Ambitious Plan to Lengthen American Life Expectancy |
28 Mar 2005 09:28:15 AM |
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Roedy Green wrote:
On Mon, 28 Mar 2005 00:33:09 -0800, "Yang, AthD (h.c), Kicking AWOL's
Cocaine Snorting *****" <eacmole@/*AWOLBUSH*/mail.com> wrote or quoted :
Noting that Americans have one of the lower life
expectancies amongst developed nations
Why is that so?
1. you have a very large wealth gap. The people on the bottom cannot
afford to look after themselves.
2. you are the only developed nation that does not have universal
health care. You let sick people run around untreated making other
people sick.
3. You are very casual about pollution. Bush redefined pig ***** as
"landfill" so that it is no longer considered a water contaminant.
There is so much mercury it is unsafe for children or pregnant women
to eat fresh water fish. Bush relaxed the constraints on mercury even
further for coal fired electric plants -- the major source of mercury
contamination.
Republicans claim to believe Bush when he tells them UA Flight 93
was hijacked by Saudi terrorists who were not aboard.
Yang, this is why EAP news releases should not be crossposted outside of
alt.atheism. A mark has been placed in your Permanent File.
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
http://www.serv.net/~techbear
"[T]hose who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves;
and, under the rule of a just God, cannot long retain it."
-- Pres. George W. Bush, Hypocrite, his inauguration speech, 2005
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| User: "Elroy Willis" |
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| Title: Re: GOP Unveils Ambitious Plan to Lengthen American Life Expectancy |
28 Mar 2005 09:48:00 AM |
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Gregory Gadow <techbear@serv.net> wrote in alt.atheism
Roedy Green wrote:
Yang, AthD (h.c) wrote or quoted :
Noting that Americans have one of the lower life
expectancies amongst developed nations
Why is that so?
1. you have a very large wealth gap. The people on the bottom cannot
afford to look after themselves.
2. you are the only developed nation that does not have universal
health care. You let sick people run around untreated making other
people sick.
3. You are very casual about pollution. Bush redefined pig ***** as
"landfill" so that it is no longer considered a water contaminant.
There is so much mercury it is unsafe for children or pregnant women
to eat fresh water fish. Bush relaxed the constraints on mercury even
further for coal fired electric plants -- the major source of mercury
contamination.
Republicans claim to believe Bush when he tells them UA Flight 93
was hijacked by Saudi terrorists who were not aboard.
Yang, this is why EAP news releases should not be crossposted outside of
alt.atheism. A mark has been placed in your Permanent File.
Does this include my news releases? :)
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
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| User: "" |
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| Title: Re: GOP Unveils Ambitious Plan to Lengthen American Life Expectancy |
28 Mar 2005 07:17:22 AM |
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Yang, AthD (h.c), Kicking AWOL's Cocaine Snorting ***** wrote:
WASHINGTON (EAP) Noting that Americans have one of the lower life
Too many typos. It needs another round of editing...
Other than that, I like it!
--
jnwcmr
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| User: "jwk" |
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| Title: Re: GOP Unveils Ambitious Plan to Lengthen American Life Expectancy |
28 Mar 2005 10:33:45 AM |
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Yang, AthD (h.c), Kicking AWOL's Cocaine Snorting ***** wrote:
WASHINGTON (EAP) Noting that Americans have one of the lower life
expectancies amongst developed nations, President Bush has unveiled
an
ambitious new plan to extend American life expectancy.
"It's very simple", said Whitehouse spokesman Scott McClellan, "We
plan to hook every elderly American to these machines whether they
want to or not."
You forgot to add "at their own expense".
jwk
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