Published on Sunday, October 10, 2004 by the Charleston Gazette (West
Virginia)
Gospel of George Bush
by Denise Giardina
AND HE TAUGHT them, saying:
1. Blessed are the rich, for they have more than they need and still
they take with such joy.
2. Blessed are those who mourn, for their numbers shall multiply.
3. Blessed are the meek, especially the liberals, for they will not
stand up to me.
4. Blessed are those who hunger for righteousness, for they may wish in
one hand and spit in the other and see which one fills the fastest.
5. Blessed are those who are not merciful, for they shall laugh upon
those without health insurance.
6. Blessed are the pure in ideology, for they shall promote religious
fascism.
7. Blessed are the warmongers, for they shall control the worlds
resources.
8. Blessed are those who persecute, for they shall trample upon the
First Amendment.
9. Blessed are you when you are an abject failure, yet people still
think youre doing a fine job.
10. Blessed are you when you base your policies upon a fundamentalist
interpretation of scripture. You violate the consciences of millions of
Americans. But theyre going to Hell anyway.
11. Blessed are the undecided and those who dont vote, for you allow me
to get away with murder.
12. Blessed are the Americans, for God loves us better than anyone else.
13. Jesus said, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But I
tell you, do unto others before they do unto you. And be sure to use
cluster bombs.
14. If you are offering your gift at the altar, and then remember that
your brother has something against you, have your friends run as many
untruthful TV ads as they can. And do not fear to lie, for if you do it
often enough, you shall be believed.
15. And if anyone oppose you, yea even if they wear an insulting
T-shirt, shake the dust of your shoes in their face, have them arrested,
fire them from their job and confine them in a pen called a free speech
zone where they may enjoy their freedom in security. Also make certain
your friends in the TV media ignore their point of view.
16. Jesus said, But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman
lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. But I
say that is ridiculous, for it means Im as bad as those awful
homosexuals. Jesus didnt say anything about them. Perhaps thats a gap in
the record, like my National Guard service.
17. Jesus said if anyone would sue you and take your coat, let him have
your cloak as well. But I say to you, tell the lazy bum to get three
minimum wage jobs. Thats why we have three shifts.
18. Lay up your treasures on earth, for if you have a lot, you will be
eligible for a big tax cut. And I shall let you keep your money for your
own benefit, not give it to a bunch of stupid old people on Social
Security. I may even figure out a way you can take your treasure to
heaven with you, if ***** Cheney tells me what it is.
19. Jesus said, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
(Do you ever wonder if Jesus was smoking some of that stuff I got hold
of back in the 70s?) But I say, Bring em on! Bring on all the Arabs and
the U.N. and the cowardly French and Germans and Russians and the
Canadians and the wimpy liberals and even the New York Yankees! Who
cares if they hate us as long as they fear us! Veni, vidi, vici! (Bet
you didnt think I know Latin.)
20. You, therefore, must be perfect, as I am perfect. As I said in a
recent press conference, I cant think of a single mistake Ive made. And
I thank my Father, who makes sure that no matter what I do, I get away
with it.
http://www.commondreams.org/views04/1010-07.htm
--
John Hachmann aa #1782
-The ability to change one's mind, ideas, and opinions when confronted with
new facts is the sign of the rational and intelligent. The inability to do
so is the hallmark of the dimwitted and the fanatic. This applies not only
to science and philosophy, but also to politics.-
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