| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"jwk" |
| Date: |
12 Nov 2004 09:39:17 AM |
| Object: |
Great Quote from the Dilbert Newsletter |
This is directed towards terrorism, but it deals with religious
fanaticism (which only makes sense.) Anyhow it is not only funny, but
is as good a plan as I've heard so far.
"As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core
belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people
who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.
The core belief that drives terrorism is the notion of a "holy place,"
along with the idea that some people belong there and other people
don't. That's why the only solution to terrorism is for religious
scholars to hold a global summit to agree on the definition of "holy
place." Once they agree on a definition, it will be easier to mock it
into submission.
At some point during the summit, probably after a week or so, the
scholars would tire of saying to each other, "Nice hat" and asking,
"What setting do you use to trim your ratty beard?" Then they'd get
down to the business of defining what makes a place holy. Someone
would suggest that the key things are the location and the fact that
something holy happened there. Eventually, someone with a second-grade
understanding of space, possibly the busboy, would point out that
everything in the universe has moved a gazillion miles since the holy
event, and the concept of location is meaningless unless all the
reference points stay put. The best-case scenario is that the "holy
place" is now a billion miles away, floating in empty space.
After some embarrassed mumbling, the scholars would insist that they
knew all along that location wasn't important. One of them would break
the awkwardness by suggesting that a holy place must be defined by the
"stuff" that comprises it. That's good news, because the Middle East
is made entirely of dirt. The wise King Solomon probably would have
advised people to help themselves to as much holy dirt as they wanted.
He might have gone so far as to suggest that people put holy dirt in
their socks so they can enjoy walking on it wherever they go. But
first he would have invented socks and patented the idea, because in
addition to being wise, he had a good head for business.
Religious scholars should also help the rest of us understand the
question of holy depth. Is it just the top layer of soil that's holy,
or does the holiness continue lower into the ground? It's important
because if there's no bottom limit, then whatever is on the exact
opposite side of the earth is also holy, only upside down. The
residents would have to stand on their heads to get the full benefit
of the holy rays, but it would be worth it.
Feel free to forward this Holy Place argument to any Induhviduals who
need the enlightenment that comes from having their core beliefs
mocked. I can't guarantee that this will stop terrorism, but whatever
you're doing now isn't working."
http://dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/html/newsletter58.html
jwk
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| User: "John Popelish" |
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| Title: Re: Great Quote from the Dilbert Newsletter |
12 Nov 2004 10:36:18 AM |
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jwk wrote:
This is directed towards terrorism, but it deals with religious
fanaticism (which only makes sense.) Anyhow it is not only funny, but
is as good a plan as I've heard so far.
"As you know, the best way to solve a problem is to identify the core
belief that causes the problem; then mock that belief until the people
who hold it insist that you heard them wrong.
(snip)
Feel free to forward this Holy Place argument to any Induhviduals who
need the enlightenment that comes from having their core beliefs
mocked. I can't guarantee that this will stop terrorism, but whatever
you're doing now isn't working."
http://dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/dnrc/html/newsletter58.html
Brilliant!
--
John Popelish
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