Happy Saint Patrick's Day



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Topic: Religions > Atheism
User: "The Curse Of The Clayton People"
Date: 17 Mar 2005 04:40:18 PM
Object: Happy Saint Patrick's Day
St Patrick's day....the day when we celebrate how a peaceful, progressive
pagan society that respected nature and deified women was turned into a
violent, hate filled, sexually and socially repressed, misogynistic,
superstitious, bigoted theocracy! No wonder everyone gets drunk!
--
Clayton The Lord Of The Eternally Changing Name
AA# 1861
EAC Executive Officer In Charge Of Squandering And Wasting Valuable
Resources
"Religion is like horse laxative....if you swallow it, you'll be left
feeling empty and have a huge pile of ***** to deal with!" - Clayton
.

User: "Bob Dog"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 17 Mar 2005 09:29:32 PM
"The Curse Of The Clayton People" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com> wrote in message news:<423a0796$0$5594$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>...

St Patrick's day....the day when we celebrate how a peaceful, progressive
pagan society that respected nature and deified women was turned into a
violent, hate filled, sexually and socially repressed, misogynistic,
superstitious, bigoted theocracy! No wonder everyone gets drunk!

And it was named after an (s)aint who allegedly banished all
snakes from Ireland. How typical that the religious try to
take credit for something that never happened.
Bob Dog
.
User: "Ike"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 17 Mar 2005 10:01:33 PM
"Bob Dog" <bg12345@apexmail.com> wrote in message
news:4fa573de.0503171929.433ddb47@posting.google.com...

"The Curse Of The Clayton People" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com> wrote in

message news:<423a0796$0$5594$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>...

St Patrick's day....the day when we celebrate how a peaceful,

progressive

pagan society that respected nature and deified women was turned into a
violent, hate filled, sexually and socially repressed, misogynistic,
superstitious, bigoted theocracy! No wonder everyone gets drunk!


And it was named after an (s)aint who allegedly banished all
snakes from Ireland. How typical that the religious try to
take credit for something that never happened.


Bob Dog

Does Ireland have any snakes, and if not, why not?
.
User: "Robibnikoff"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 18 Mar 2005 07:31:23 AM
"Ike" <accordiondoc@mindspring.com> wrote in message
news:xos_d.13515$cN6.9973@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...


"Bob Dog" <bg12345@apexmail.com> wrote in message
news:4fa573de.0503171929.433ddb47@posting.google.com...

"The Curse Of The Clayton People" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com> wrote

in

message news:<423a0796$0$5594$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>...

St Patrick's day....the day when we celebrate how a peaceful,

progressive

pagan society that respected nature and deified women was turned into

a

violent, hate filled, sexually and socially repressed, misogynistic,
superstitious, bigoted theocracy! No wonder everyone gets drunk!


And it was named after an (s)aint who allegedly banished all
snakes from Ireland. How typical that the religious try to
take credit for something that never happened.


Bob Dog


Does Ireland have any snakes, and if not, why not?

You don't honestly think it's because some saint (who wasn't even Irish,
BTW) banished them?
--
------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557
.
User: "Ike"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 18 Mar 2005 07:26:56 PM
"Robibnikoff" <witchypoo@broomstick.com> wrote in message
news:3a03g6F63baoaU1@individual.net...


"Ike" <accordiondoc@mindspring.com> wrote in message
news:xos_d.13515$cN6.9973@newsread1.news.pas.earthlink.net...


"Bob Dog" <bg12345@apexmail.com> wrote in message
news:4fa573de.0503171929.433ddb47@posting.google.com...

"The Curse Of The Clayton People" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com>

wrote

in

message news:<423a0796$0$5594$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>...

St Patrick's day....the day when we celebrate how a peaceful,

progressive

pagan society that respected nature and deified women was turned

into

a

violent, hate filled, sexually and socially repressed, misogynistic,
superstitious, bigoted theocracy! No wonder everyone gets drunk!


And it was named after an (s)aint who allegedly banished all
snakes from Ireland. How typical that the religious try to
take credit for something that never happened.


Bob Dog


Does Ireland have any snakes, and if not, why not?


You don't honestly think it's because some saint (who wasn't even Irish,
BTW) banished them?

Never mind what I think, does Ireland have snakes? If she has snakes, then
if a saint indeed banished the snakes, they came back. If she doesn't have
snakes, did she ever host snakes, and if she did, why not now? Your question
about the saint begs another question of why a saint would care whether
there were snakes in Ireland or not.
.


User: "Elroy Willis"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 18 Mar 2005 08:00:12 AM
Ike <accordiondoc@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

Bob Dog <bg12345@apexmail.com> wrote in message

"The Curse Of The Clayton People" wrote

St Patrick's day....the day when we celebrate how a peaceful,
progressive pagan society that respected nature and deified women
was turned into a violent, hate filled, sexually and socially repressed,
misogynistic, superstitious, bigoted theocracy! No wonder everyone
gets drunk!

And it was named after an (s)aint who allegedly banished all
snakes from Ireland. How typical that the religious try to
take credit for something that never happened.

Does Ireland have any snakes, and if not, why not?

I'd never heard that fact before, so I googled around and found
the following article:
From:
http://www.txtwriter.com/Onscience/Articles/patsnakes.html
"This then is the real answer to Susie's question of how Saint Patrick
charmed the snakes out of Ireland. He did it with that special Irish
gift for story telling, what my mother called "blarney". Somehow I
feel the poorer this Saint Patrick's day, for knowing as a scientist
that there were no snakes in Ireland for Saint Patrick to charm."
It would be like making up a story about some saint who drove
or charmed the giraffes out of Florida. Since Florida has no native
giraffes, the story must be true... <cough>
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
.
User: "Ike"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 18 Mar 2005 07:26:57 PM
"Elroy Willis" <elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote in message
news:1dnl3157vjomp67j5h7ue4iog99u6af72s@4ax.com...

Ike <accordiondoc@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

Bob Dog <bg12345@apexmail.com> wrote in message

"The Curse Of The Clayton People" wrote


St Patrick's day....the day when we celebrate how a peaceful,
progressive pagan society that respected nature and deified women
was turned into a violent, hate filled, sexually and socially

repressed,

misogynistic, superstitious, bigoted theocracy! No wonder everyone
gets drunk!


And it was named after an (s)aint who allegedly banished all
snakes from Ireland. How typical that the religious try to
take credit for something that never happened.


Does Ireland have any snakes, and if not, why not?


I'd never heard that fact before, so I googled around and found
the following article:

From:
http://www.txtwriter.com/Onscience/Articles/patsnakes.html

"This then is the real answer to Susie's question of how Saint Patrick
charmed the snakes out of Ireland. He did it with that special Irish
gift for story telling, what my mother called "blarney". Somehow I
feel the poorer this Saint Patrick's day, for knowing as a scientist
that there were no snakes in Ireland for Saint Patrick to charm."

It would be like making up a story about some saint who drove
or charmed the giraffes out of Florida. Since Florida has no native
giraffes, the story must be true... <cough>

From wht basis is it asserted that there are no snakes in Irelan? If
Ireland has no snakes, why doesn't she? Other than the legend.
.
User: "Elroy Willis"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 19 Mar 2005 06:47:32 AM
Ike <accordiondoc@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

Elroy Willis <elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote in message

Ike <accordiondoc@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

Does Ireland have any snakes, and if not, why not?

I'd never heard that fact before, so I googled around and found
the following article:
From:
http://www.txtwriter.com/Onscience/Articles/patsnakes.html
"This then is the real answer to Susie's question of how Saint Patrick
charmed the snakes out of Ireland. He did it with that special Irish
gift for story telling, what my mother called "blarney". Somehow I
feel the poorer this Saint Patrick's day, for knowing as a scientist
that there were no snakes in Ireland for Saint Patrick to charm."
It would be like making up a story about some saint who drove
or charmed the giraffes out of Florida. Since Florida has no native
giraffes, the story must be true... <cough>

From wht basis is it asserted that there are no snakes in Irelan?

Nobody ever finds any? I think it was the same with Hawaii until
people brought snakes there, or they hitched rides on cargo ships.
I think several islands are like that, in fact.

If Ireland has no snakes, why doesn't she? Other than the legend.

Did you not read the above article? It explains why in scientific
detail.
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
.
User: "Ike"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 19 Mar 2005 12:25:05 PM
"Elroy Willis" <elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote in message
news:7e7o31dh86hdn5ke7s2j3p7ltjgo9o6hp1@4ax.com...

Ike <accordiondoc@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism

Elroy Willis <elroywillis@swbell.net> wrote in message

Ike <accordiondoc@mindspring.com> wrote in alt.atheism


Does Ireland have any snakes, and if not, why not?


I'd never heard that fact before, so I googled around and found
the following article:


From:
http://www.txtwriter.com/Onscience/Articles/patsnakes.html


"This then is the real answer to Susie's question of how Saint Patrick
charmed the snakes out of Ireland. He did it with that special Irish
gift for story telling, what my mother called "blarney". Somehow I
feel the poorer this Saint Patrick's day, for knowing as a scientist
that there were no snakes in Ireland for Saint Patrick to charm."


It would be like making up a story about some saint who drove
or charmed the giraffes out of Florida. Since Florida has no native
giraffes, the story must be true... <cough>


From wht basis is it asserted that there are no snakes in Irelan?


Nobody ever finds any? I think it was the same with Hawaii until
people brought snakes there, or they hitched rides on cargo ships.
I think several islands are like that, in fact.

If Ireland has no snakes, why doesn't she? Other than the legend.


Did you not read the above article? It explains why in scientific
detail.

No, I hardly ever bother to surf to websites. Just reply to what appears in
the NG. Tried posting original ravings a few times but got little o no
response. Since now you say that could answer my question I might just check
it out.
--
The argument that everything had a Creator because it's too complicated, is
about as reasonable as saying that it couldn't have been created since it's
too complicated.
It's about like saying that a super flea created a dog. Then
the good fleas go to a great dog in the sky, while the bad unbelieving fleas
are scratched off into a super rug to be forever hungry. If you think dogs
weren't created by a Great Flea then you are an afleaist.
.




User: ""

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 19 Mar 2005 12:40:05 AM
Ike wrote:

"Bob Dog" <bg12345@apexmail.com> wrote in message
news:4fa573de.0503171929.433ddb47@posting.google.com...

And it was named after an (s)aint who allegedly banished all
snakes from Ireland. How typical that the religious try to
take credit for something that never happened.


Does Ireland have any snakes, and if not, why not?

O_o? 9_9!
Ice age. Land bridge. Cold. Mammal, good. Reptile, bad.
Bob Dog
.
User: "Elroy Willis"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 19 Mar 2005 06:50:04 AM
wrote in alt.atheism

Ike wrote:

Bob Dog <

> wrote in message

And it was named after an (s)aint who allegedly banished all
snakes from Ireland. How typical that the religious try to
take credit for something that never happened.

Does Ireland have any snakes, and if not, why not?

O_o? 9_9!
Ice age. Land bridge. Cold. Mammal, good. Reptile, bad.

I wonder if there are any sea snakes in the area? Maybe the
water's too cold?
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
.
User: ""

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 19 Mar 2005 11:58:49 AM
Elroy Willis wrote:

bg12345@apexmail.com wrote in alt.atheism

Ike wrote:

Bob Dog <bg12345@apexmail.com> wrote in message


And it was named after an (s)aint who allegedly banished all
snakes from Ireland. How typical that the religious try to
take credit for something that never happened.


Does Ireland have any snakes, and if not, why not?


Ice age. Land bridge. Cold. Mammal, good. Reptile, bad.


I wonder if there are any sea snakes in the area? Maybe the
water's too cold?

I thought sea snakes were native to the southern hemisphere
and the tropics.
There is one snake found in Canada (the garter snake) which
can survive being completely frozen. But it can't move, so it
wouldn't migrate during an ice age. It's so small (and non-
poisonous to boot) that it couldn't bite a child's finger.
There's also a frog in Canada that does the same thing; they
probably convert the water to survive crystalization.
Bob Dog
.
User: "Robibnikoff"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 19 Mar 2005 12:04:33 PM
<bg12345@apexmail.com> wrote in message
news:1111255129.865522.147560@g14g2000cwa.googlegroups.com...

Elroy Willis wrote:

bg12345@apexmail.com wrote in alt.atheism

Ike wrote:

Bob Dog <bg12345@apexmail.com> wrote in message


And it was named after an (s)aint who allegedly banished all
snakes from Ireland. How typical that the religious try to
take credit for something that never happened.


Does Ireland have any snakes, and if not, why not?


Ice age. Land bridge. Cold. Mammal, good. Reptile, bad.


I wonder if there are any sea snakes in the area? Maybe the
water's too cold?


I thought sea snakes were native to the southern hemisphere
and the tropics.

There is one snake found in Canada (the garter snake) which
can survive being completely frozen. But it can't move, so it
wouldn't migrate during an ice age. It's so small (and non-
poisonous to boot) that it couldn't bite a child's finger.

It must be a different version of garter snake than we have in the northeast
US, because I know for a fact that they can bite. They're also a bit
difficult to pry off once they've gotten their numerous very sharp teeth
into you (obviously this is the voice of experience talking). They're
between 2-3 feet long and spray like a skunk when captured. Thank goodness
it doesn't smell as bad. At least they're very easy to tame ;)
--
---------
Robyn
Resident Witchypoo
#1557
.

User: "Elroy Willis"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 20 Mar 2005 05:45:02 AM
wrote in alt.atheism

Elroy Willis wrote:

wrote in alt.atheism

Ike wrote:

Bob Dog <

> wrote in message

And it was named after an (s)aint who allegedly banished all
snakes from Ireland. How typical that the religious try to
take credit for something that never happened.

Does Ireland have any snakes, and if not, why not?

Ice age. Land bridge. Cold. Mammal, good. Reptile, bad.

I wonder if there are any sea snakes in the area? Maybe the
water's too cold?

I thought sea snakes were native to the southern hemisphere
and the tropics.
There is one snake found in Canada (the garter snake) which
can survive being completely frozen. But it can't move, so it
wouldn't migrate during an ice age. It's so small (and non-
poisonous to boot) that it couldn't bite a child's finger.

We have them here in Texas as well. It was one of the first critters
my cat dragged in this spring. He didn't hurt it too much so I let
it go in the woodpile.
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
.





User: "wcb"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 18 Mar 2005 10:57:31 AM
Bob Dog wrote:

"The Curse Of The Clayton People" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com> wrote in
message news:<423a0796$0$5594$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>...

St Patrick's day....the day when we celebrate how a peaceful, progressive
pagan society that respected nature and deified women was turned into a
violent, hate filled, sexually and socially repressed, misogynistic,
superstitious, bigoted theocracy! No wonder everyone gets drunk!


And it was named after an (s)aint who allegedly banished all
snakes from Ireland. How typical that the religious try to
take credit for something that never happened.

I propose we take up a collection and get Ireland some snakes.
Perhaps some corn snakes, some green rough scaled snakes, some
racers, a few ring necked snakes. How about some lovely hog nosed
snakes. Ireland needs snakes!
Why doesn't Ireland have snakes? The Smurfs (leprechauns)
ate them all.
--
Cheerful Charlie
.


User: "Rev David Taylor"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 17 Mar 2005 10:16:07 PM
"The Curse Of The Clayton People" <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com> wrote:

St Patrick's day....the day when we celebrate
how a peaceful, progressive pagan society that
respected nature and deified women was turned
into a violent, hate filled, sexually and
socially repressed, misogynistic, superstitious,
bigoted theocracy! No wonder everyone gets drunk!

Chelmsford, Essex - During the Broomleigh Baptist Children's Sermon last
Sunday morning, terrified toddlers were treated to a surprise visit from
Saint Patrick himself. According to Pastor ***** Foot, "Our little 14 year
old sissies cried like a pack of mincing pansies – just like they did
last week when we showed them The Passion of the Christ." The lights in
the church were dimmed and a ferociously bright green spotlight scanned
over the crowd of unsuspecting youngsters huddled together in front of
the congregation. The men's choir began to hum in a steady drone, like
Catholic monks stirring a cauldron of boiling saint relics as the
children moved closer together, casting pleading glances at teachers who
used medium-voltage stun guns to herd the timid tots onto the sculptured
shag carpet steps leading up to the church's 18-karat rose gold altar and
tidal baptism pool.
After the startling splat of an adult horse being dropped from the
rafters onto the marble stage, an ominous voice bellowed at the children,
many of whom were warily picking equestrian innards from their clothing
and hair. "I AM SAINT PATRICK!" yelled the heavily amplified voice of
Pastor ***** Foot as he sprang out of the darkness and into the spotlight.
"AND I EAT LITTLE CHILDREN!" Pastor's Saint Patrick costume was so
effective that every little child screamed at the top of their lungs.
Most felt the telltale jolt of a stun gun, reminding them that they had
visibly soiled the pants of their Sunday-school uniforms.
As the stage filled with darting coils of snakes, Pastor lunged toward
the terrified children and grabbed 4-year-old, Codie Johnson by the left
foot. He bent down so little Codie was dangling between an angry
rattlesnake and over Pastor's sharp yellow teeth. "My Catholic priests
are hungry!" said Pastor. "But you look so tasty, I think I'll just bite
off your tallywhacker myself and spit the rest of you out into Father
O'Malley's bed!" Pastor let out a blood-curdling cackle and little Codie
wet his pants and passed out. He carefully tossed Codie aside, kicking
away the snake just seconds before it lunged for Codie's tender neck and
making sure Codie's little head didn't hit the marble floor (two deacons
were on hand to collect the child and bring him to the church infirmary).
"NOW! Who's NEXT!?" Pastor yelled through a spray of green spittle He
lunged frantically toward the children. "I drove the snakes out of
filthy, rotten Ireland – and I'll drive you out of your crazy little
minds! BWAA-hahahahah! " he exclaimed as he waved his green hands in the
air. The children, clinging to each other, let out deafening wails of
terror. Most of them were so petrified that their limbs were frozen and
they couldn't move.
"I work for the Catholic Church!" yelled Pastor. "And we have a shortage
on little children right now..." Mrs. Ida Mae Denkins' who was seated in
the left second pew stood up and shouted, "Take my little Suzie to the
priests, Saint Patrick! She's been watching the Cartoon Network without
permission! She's seen Sponge Bob's penis! She's been a bad girl! A
wicked, sinful servant of the satyr Satan!" Suzie Denkins screamed, "NO
MAMA! NO! I'll never watch secular cartoons again!" Pastor Deacon Fred
eyed little Suzie. "You'd make a nice tender sweet little morsel for one
of my demon-red-skirt-wearing bishops!" he screamed. "They'd love to find
out what's going on underneath that little poodle-skirt you little
*****!" Suzie lost consciousness and several Deacons were on hand to
smack her across the head and bring her limp, sinful carcass to the
church infirmary.
"I'm going to let you sissy little scardy cats off easy this time!" said
Pastor. "I want you worthless little pansies to run off to your Sunday
School classes RIGHT NOW! Your teachers there will learn you more about
me and my Cathylick Church in Rome. But don't forget March 17th! Lock
your doors and hide under your covers! For on that day, my drunken
Catholic servants diddle their unholy areas and pray to ME! And I come
forth to steal beautiful little Caucasian Baptist children like YOU! And
deliver you into the red velvet bedrooms of my servants, the priests!"
After all of the children who fled were recovered, the lights were turned
back on and Pastor removed his Saint Patrick mask. The congregation of
parents, who had quietly watched from the tin-level tither mezzanine
balcony, applauded and then rose to give him a standing ovation.
"Hopefully that will stick with them for the rest of their lives," Pastor
told churchgoers. "You have to get them on the straight and narrow when
they are young, A-men? I thought the Mel Gibson blood fest would have
toughened them up, but apparently we have a bunch of twinkle-toes fairies
that need the fear of Jesus put in them."
Sunday school classes that morning were an extension of Pastor's
children's sermon. Youngsters were treated to a Power Point presentation
developed by Jack T. Chick, called, "Why Catholics are NOT Christians."
--
Rev Pastor David J S Taylor BA, FFD
South Croydon Baptist Church AG (Zurich)
15 Hurst View Road, South Croydon CR2 7AJ, Great Britain
http://www.church.broomleigh.org/
----== Posted via Newsfeeds.Com - Unlimited-Uncensored-Secure Usenet News==----
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.

User: "Frank J Warner"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 18 Mar 2005 06:45:22 AM
In article <423a0796$0$5594$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au>, The Curse
Of The Clayton People <cjfat@SPAMBLOCKphonymails.com> wrote:

St Patrick's day....the day when we celebrate how a peaceful, progressive
pagan society that respected nature and deified women was turned into a
violent, hate filled, sexually and socially repressed, misogynistic,
superstitious, bigoted theocracy! No wonder everyone gets drunk!

The green beer was excell- . . . Oops! Gotta run!
-Frank
--
Here's some of my work:
http://www.franksknives.com
.
User: "Elroy Willis"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 18 Mar 2005 08:06:59 AM
Frank J Warner <warnerf@veriSPAMMERSDIEzon.net> wrote in alt.atheism

The Curse Of The Clayton People wrote:

St Patrick's day....the day when we celebrate how a peaceful, progressive
pagan society that respected nature and deified women was turned into a
violent, hate filled, sexually and socially repressed, misogynistic,
superstitious, bigoted theocracy! No wonder everyone gets drunk!

The green beer was excell- . . . Oops! Gotta run!

I hear that some churches tried using green communion wine during the
communion ceremony, but it didn't go over very well.
"We wanted to drink red Jesus blood, not green Spock blood," said
several of the people who refused to partake after seeing the color of
the blood they were about to drink.
"Jesus is real and Spock is just fiction," they said.
--
Elroy Willis
www.elroysemporium.com
.
User: "skyeyes"

Title: Re: Happy Saint Patrick's Day 18 Mar 2005 11:11:30 AM
I fully expect to see this reported as a true occurrence in some
newspapear, sometime soon.
Elroy, you are an imp. ;->
Brenda Nelson, A.A.#34
EAC Professor of Feline Thermometrics and Cat-Herding
.




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