| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Josef Balluch" |
| Date: |
03 Aug 2004 09:50:11 PM |
| Object: |
He Prays! He Scores! |
Have you ever asked yourself: "How come the Vatican does not have a
sports department?" Well the Pope has, and he has taken action to
correct this glaring oversight.
http://www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2004/08/03/vatican040803.html
The Vatican issued a predictable feel-good explanation for the move (see
link above), but Vatican watchers tell a different story. They say that
the move is a shot at those pesky Protestant athletes who are always
thanking their false god for some victory or achievement. "God is
Catholic, dammit!" the Pope is rumoured to have exclaimed. "Only the
Catholic Church has a Sports department, and they better not forget it!"
A Vatican spokesperson was quick to downplay this story, though.
"Athletes will not have to submit their requests to God through the
Sports department. They can pray to God directly, as always." But she
added with a smile: "Protestant athletes, of course, would still be
wasting their time. If they expect to win then they will actually have
to be better than the other athletes."
Other observers see a deeper connection to this development from the
Vatican. The upcoming Olympics is thought to be the reason for the
announcement. The Olympic Games honour three athletes for each event,
while the Church has three gods for the price of one. It is thought that
the Church sees the possibility of some synergies in numerology.
The creation of a Sports department has also become a cause for concern
for some. They see the possibility of a call for separation of Church
and sport. The Vatican spokesperson dismissed this, however. "I am not
aware of any such concern", she said. "If there is any such movement,
then it most likely would be from the Protestant fringe."
Regards,
Josef
God ... is always on the side which has the best football coach.
-- Heywood Broun
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| User: "Lord Calvert" |
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| Title: Re: He Prays! He Scores! |
04 Aug 2004 10:34:06 PM |
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"Athletes will not have to submit their requests to God through the
Sports department. They can pray to God directly, as always." But she
added with a smile: "Protestant athletes, of course, would still be
wasting their time. If they expect to win then they will actually have
to be better than the other athletes."
You know, I put forth this question during the opening round of the NCAA men's
college basketball tournament here in the US. There was a matchup that was
perfectly suited for this question. A prominent Protestant "university"
(Liberty University, aka Jerry Falwell U) was facing a prominent Catholic
university (St. Joseph's in Philadelphia, who was a #1seed). I challenged Jerry
Falwell that I would believe in his God if Liberty could win the game. They
didn't even have to win the tournament. All they had to do was to beat St.
Joe's.
Of course, talent won out over belief and St. Joseph's cruised to victory but I
wonder what Falwell would have done were he reading AA and took me up on my
challenge. I had considered putting up a $1000 bond to be donated to Liberty's
scholarship fund if they had won if he would have put up a $1000 bond to be
donated to the Center for Inquiry if they had lost. What would he have done?
$1000 is a lot to me but it is virtually nothing to him.
Rich Goranson, Amherst, NY, USA (aa#MCMXCIX, a-vet#1)
EAC Department of Applied Rattan Use
"Without faith we might relapse into scientific or rational thinking, which
leads by a slippery slope toward constitutional democracy." - Robert Anton
Wilson
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| User: "johac" |
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| Title: Re: He Prays! He Scores! |
04 Aug 2004 12:48:34 AM |
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In article <MPG.1b7a18ea101c96f3989885@206.172.150.13>,
Josef Balluch <josef.balluch@sympatico.can> wrote:
Have you ever asked yourself: "How come the Vatican does not have a
sports department?" Well the Pope has, and he has taken action to
correct this glaring oversight.
http://www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2004/08/03/vatican040803.html
The Vatican issued a predictable feel-good explanation for the move (see
link above), but Vatican watchers tell a different story. They say that
the move is a shot at those pesky Protestant athletes who are always
thanking their false god for some victory or achievement. "God is
Catholic, dammit!" the Pope is rumoured to have exclaimed. "Only the
Catholic Church has a Sports department, and they better not forget it!"
A Vatican spokesperson was quick to downplay this story, though.
"Athletes will not have to submit their requests to God through the
Sports department. They can pray to God directly, as always." But she
added with a smile: "Protestant athletes, of course, would still be
wasting their time. If they expect to win then they will actually have
to be better than the other athletes."
Other observers see a deeper connection to this development from the
Vatican. The upcoming Olympics is thought to be the reason for the
announcement. The Olympic Games honour three athletes for each event,
while the Church has three gods for the price of one. It is thought that
the Church sees the possibility of some synergies in numerology.
The creation of a Sports department has also become a cause for concern
for some. They see the possibility of a call for separation of Church
and sport. The Vatican spokesperson dismissed this, however. "I am not
aware of any such concern", she said. "If there is any such movement,
then it most likely would be from the Protestant fringe."
Someone better tell the Pope that altar boy chasing is not a sport.
Regards,
Josef
God ... is always on the side which has the best football coach.
-- Heywood Broun
--
John Hachmann aa #1782
-The ability to change one's mind, ideas, and opinions when confronted with
new facts is the sign of the rational and intelligent. The inability to do
so is the hallmark of the dimwitted and the fanatic. This applies not only
to science and philosophy, but also to politics.-
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| User: "stoney" |
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| Title: Re: He Prays! He Scores! |
04 Aug 2004 08:11:23 PM |
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Josef Balluch wrote:
Have you ever asked yourself: "How come the Vatican does not have a
sports department?" Well the Pope has, and he has taken action to
correct this glaring oversight.
http://www.cbc.ca/story/world/national/2004/08/03/vatican040803.html
The Vatican issued a predictable feel-good explanation for the move
(see link above), but Vatican watchers tell a different story. They
say that the move is a shot at those pesky Protestant athletes who are
always thanking their false god for some victory or achievement. "God
is Catholic, dammit!" the Pope is rumoured to have exclaimed. "Only
the Catholic Church has a Sports department, and they better not
forget it!" A Vatican spokesperson was quick to downplay this story,
though. "Athletes will not have to submit their requests to God
through the Sports department. They can pray to God directly, as
always."
/God roars
"HELL, NO! I'VE GOT A BAG OF DORITOS(tm) RIDING ON THIS GAME!
TO HELL WITH YOU!"
[]
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