21 November 2006
St. Louis, Missouri
A historic announcement today, in St. Louis County Municipal Court a
grand jury indicted God for every murder and untimely death that has
taken place ever.
"I was thinking as I developed this case about how this guy was all
powerful, so I figure why go after the pawns that actually commited the
crime. We need to go after the big fish," District Attorney Howie
Feltersnatch stated outside the courthouse.
Due to this historic descision, the U.S. Attorney is considering
bringing a case against him in federal court using the RICO statute.
"We are looking to bring down the entire organization: Jesus, the holy
spirit, Pat Robertson. This is a real criminal conspiracy that has been
going on since the deawn of time," U.S. Attorney I. P. Frealy stated.
When asked how he got the grand jury to agree to such a sweeping
indictment Feltersnatch stated," I just reminded them of the 2004 World
Series sweep of the Cardinals by the Red Sox and how this all powerful
being was in fact responsible for that also. After that the jury seemed
more apt to indict. Baseball is big in this town."
When asked about the indictment God responded with this crytic
statement," I believe in predestination. If you don't, you may or may
not be damned."
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