| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Meteorite Debris" |
| Date: |
11 Aug 2005 01:27:49 AM |
| Object: |
Heavenly democracy |
EAC Aug 11. In response to criticism that heaven is a kingdom and an
absolute monarchy at that the almighty today has for the first time
convened a heavenly parliament to run things on a more democratic
line. God has in the past been criticised for his tyrannical behaviour
and attitude but now in response is setting up something more a
Westminster System with checks and balances between difference arms of
the heavenate.
The parliament by opened by the almighty who then said a prayer to
himself followed by praise to himself and finally a blessing to
himself before outlining the agenda for the current session.
God stated that there is room in his electorate for a god fearing
disrespectrate although officially they would no longer have anything
to fear - in theory. Legislation due for debate includes proposal to
change various laws of nature. It is felt by many members that the
laws of gravity and thermodynamics are overdue for review and reform.
Some believe the God has been in reviewing past edicts. Another bill
proposes giving pi a much higher value and a review of other universal
variables like the speed of light. "We can really make the whole
universe operate much more efficiently with some redesign of basic
laws" said one of the newly sworn in members.
When asked why at this point of time God thought a heavenly democracy
was a good idea St Peter answered that "many deceased were choosing
not to retire in the after life to this paradise on learning about the
problems with arbitrary due process and were taking their after life
business elsewhere. We have to remain competitive with the
opposition. We are always hearing that the other place is much more
fun." When asked if moral edits specified in the Almighty's
autobiography would be review St Peter looked a little stunned and
ended the interview there and then. An official spin doctor for St
Peter's office assured us off the record that heaven functioned
alright without gays in the past and there is really no reason why
this should change now. "Even fearless members have to have some
respect for that which can never be questioned; so they can be
fearless but not too fearless".
Another anonymous spokesperson said that "it is unlikely that any
historical human life shortening decisions would be questioned because
members have to swear loyalty to the titular head. You can ask but
don't push. The almighty is still commander in chief with a formidable
army of angels even if parliament now holds the purse strings". If
asked if the parliament has mere window dressing he answered
"Certainly not. You're just being cynical and no system operates well
with cynics and in fact cynicism might even be a sign of disloyalty.
Remember this is a top down democracy so its' not based on crass forms
of cynical democracy of malcontents. There will be no malcontents in
God's Kingdom". At the conclusion of this interview we were quietly
informed that we had lost two brownie points so watch out.
--
Remove YOUR_SHOES before replying
apatriot #1, atheist #1417,
Chief EAC prophet
Jason Gastrich is praying for me on 8 January 2009
http://members.optusnet.com.au/~pk1956/
Apatriotism Yahoo Group
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/apatriotism
Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing that they themselves
were dead and in Heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in
Hell.
-Mencken
.
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| User: "Therion Ware" |
|
| Title: Re: Heavenly democracy |
11 Aug 2005 01:00:44 AM |
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On Thu, 11 Aug 2005 15:57:49 +0930 in alt.atheism, Meteorite Debris
(Meteorite Debris <epicurus1@YOUR_SHOESoptusnet.com.au>) said,
directing the reply to alt.atheism
EAC Aug 11. In response to criticism that heaven is a kingdom and an
absolute monarchy at that the almighty today has for the first time
convened a heavenly parliament to run things on a more democratic
line. God has in the past been criticised for his tyrannical behaviour
and attitude but now in response is setting up something more a
Westminster System with checks and balances between difference arms of
the heavenate.
[snip]
Heh Excellent. Well done that man.
--
"Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You."
- Attrib: Pauline Reage.
#442. Want food NOW? Then try http://www.rtios.com/
- Yep, currently under test... Your opinion welcome.
.
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