| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Enkidu" |
| Date: |
19 Jan 2008 08:38:20 PM |
| Object: |
Hell, why not? Another joke. |
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a
group of a few boys about 10 years of age, surrounding a dog.
Concerned that the boys were hurting the animal, he went over
and asked them what they were doing.
One of the boys replied, "This dog is an old neighborhood stray.
We take him home with us sometimes, but only one of us can take
him home. So we're having a contest: whichever one of us tells
the biggest lie can take him home today."
Of course, the Reverend was shocked. "You boys shouldn't be
having a contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched
into a 10-minute sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you
boys know it's a sin to lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was
your age, I never told a lie."
There was complete silence for about a minute. As the Reverend
smiled with satisfaction that he'd gotten through to them, the
smallest boy gave a deep sigh. "All right," he said, "give him
the dog."
--
Enkidu AA#2165
EAC Chaplain and ordained minister,
ULC, Modesto, CA
"It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a
lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a
personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly.
If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the
unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science
can reveal it."
Albert Einstein, in Albert Einstein: The Human Side
.
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| User: "Kelsey Bjarnason" |
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| Title: Re: Hell, why not? Another joke. |
24 Jan 2008 04:31:49 AM |
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On Sun, 20 Jan 2008 02:38:20 +0000, Enkidu wrote:
A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of a
few boys about 10 years of age, surrounding a dog. Concerned that the
boys were hurting the animal, he went over and asked them what they were
doing.
One of the boys replied, "This dog is an old neighborhood stray. We take
him home with us sometimes, but only one of us can take him home. So
we're having a contest: whichever one of us tells the biggest lie can
take him home today."
Of course, the Reverend was shocked. "You boys shouldn't be having a
contest telling lies!" he exclaimed. He then launched into a 10-minute
sermon against lying, beginning, "Don't you boys know it's a sin to
lie?" and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie."
There was complete silence for about a minute. As the Reverend smiled
with satisfaction that he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy
gave a deep sigh. "All right," he said, "give him the dog."
I always kinda liked this one:
Three nuns die and wind up at the pearly gates. Pete meets them, but
informs them there's a slight change: in order for the really devout to
get in, they must show the quality of their devoutness by answering a
question correctly.
The first nun steps forth and Pete asks her, "Sister, what is special
about the wine and wafers?"
"Ah," she says, "that is the miracle of transsubstantiation, the bread
and wine turning to the body and blood of Christ." And the bells ring,
the lights flash, the gates open and in she goes.
The second nun steps forth.
"What, sister, is special about Mary?"
"Ah," she says, "that's the miracle of the virgin birth, that our dear
lord and saviour may come forth without sin." And the bells ring, the
lights flash, the gates open and in she goes.
The third nun steps forth.
"Sister... what are the first words Eve said to Adam?"
She stares at him blankly. She racks her brain, trying to recall every
passage she's read, every tract, every commentary. Nothing brings to
mind even a recollection of what words Eve said to Adam.
Minutes pass, she's no closer to an answer. Frustrated, but not yet
giving up, she looks up at Pete and comments, "Gee, that's a hard one!"
And the bells ring, the lights flash...
--
Doing my part to ***** off the Religious Reich.
.
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