| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Gandalf Grey" |
| Date: |
10 Oct 2006 04:40:28 PM |
| Object: |
Homo Moronus: Republican Man |
Homo Moronus; Republican Man
By Mike Whitney
Created Oct 8 2006 - 12:11pm
Charles Darwin never knew Denny Hastert. If he had, he probably have revised
his theories in "The Origin of Species" or, perhaps, scrapped the project
altogether.
Evolution is a hoax. We are inextricably linked to a distant ancestor whose
mental acuity has not increased in 5 million-years: Homo Moronus; Republican
Man.
The truth is that Hastert is to "evolution", what Bush is to "intelligent
design"; concrete proof that both theories are firmly planted in evidentiary
quicksand.
The Christo-fundamentalists will undoubtedly be enraged to discover that
their elected officials can trace their lineage back to single-cell
organisms who predictably respond to heat, light and the bribes of
well-dressed lobbyists. This is the full-range of their behavior and it
hasn't
changed since grizzled men in animal hides chased page boys around the
confines of their fire-lit caves.
Nothing has changed.
Hastert, Foley and Bush have all reacted just as one would expect from
members of their respective phyla. Foley has checked into Betty Ford clinic;
creating the reassuring impression that pedophilia is an alcohol-induced
condition. Bush has given his typical B-grade performance of a "morally
indignant" leader, and Hastert has wobbled from microphone to microphone
issuing his bland proclamations of innocence. These developments are
entirely consistent with archeological surveys which demonstrate that Homo
Moronus was a "buck-passing" simpleton with an insatiable penchant for young
conservative-looking males.
Paleontologist Bernard Lyon, who has carbon-dated many of the mummified
remains of Homo Moronus found that they are frequently buried in a Loofa
shaped sarcophagi; 6 or 7 to a tomb, in what appears to be a Republican
conga-line. Lyon has not, as yet, offered a theory on this phenomenon, but
suggests that it may be the earliest example of illicit fund-raising
techniques dating back into pre-history.
For many offended Americans, it will be no consolation to know that the
activities of Homo Moronus have a long and immutable pedigree and that
"evolutionary" change is unlikely. Natural selection has sharpened Moronus'
evasive skills over the millennia making him particularly well-suited for a
life in politics.
We should all take heart with the recent developments in the Foley case. It
provides even more proof that Darwin's basic thesis was wrong and that
mankind continues to devolve into a mindless blob of protoplasm.
--
NOTICE: This post contains copyrighted material the use of which has not
always been authorized by the copyright owner. I am making such material
available to advance understanding of
political, human rights, democracy, scientific, and social justice issues. I
believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of such copyrighted material as
provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright
Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107
"A little patience and we shall see the reign of witches pass over, their
spells dissolve, and the people recovering their true sight, restore their
government to its true principles. It is true that in the meantime we are
suffering deeply in spirit,
and incurring the horrors of a war and long oppressions of enormous public
debt. But if the game runs sometimes against us at home we must have
patience till luck turns, and then we shall have an opportunity of winning
back the principles we have lost, for this is a game where principles are at
stake."
-Thomas Jefferson
.
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