| Topic: |
Religions > Atheism |
| User: |
"Doc Smartass" |
| Date: |
27 Sep 2006 06:53:23 PM |
| Object: |
Humor--Python homage? |
This is a bit from Roger Zelazny's "Creatures of Light and Darkness"; I
got to this part while on my lunch break. I wonder if Zelazny was a Monty
Python fan...
<Quote>
The door opens before them, beneath the tapping of his cane, and its
guards drowse before a brief green flare. Appropriating cloaks from two
of them, Wakim and Vramin move on, into the center of the city.
The temple is easy enough to find. Entering it is another matter.
Here now, there are guards-drug-maddened-before the entrance.
They approach boldly and demand admission.
The eighty-eight spears of the Outer Guard are leveled at them.
"There will be no public adoration till the sundown rains," they are
told, amidst twitches.
"We shall wait." And they do.
With the sundown rains, they join a procession of moist worshippers
and enter the outer temple.
On attempting to go further they are brought to a halt by the three
hundred fifty-two drug-maddened spearmen who guard the next entranceway.
"Have you the badges of inner-temple worshippers?" their captain
inquires.
"Of course," says Vramin, raising his cane.
And in the eyes of the captain they must have them for they are
granted entrance.
Then, drawing near the Inner Sanctum itself, they are halted by the
officer in charge of the five hundred ten drug-maddened warriors who
guard the way.
"Castrated or non-castrated?" he inquires.
"Castrated, of course," says Vramin in a lovely soprano. "Give us
entrance," and his eyes blaze greenly and the officer draws back.
Entering, they spy the altar, with its fifty guardians and its six
strange priests.
"There they are, upon the altar."
"How shall we obtain them?"
"By stealth, preferably," says Vramin, pushing his way nearer the
altar, before the televised service begins.
"What sort of stealth?"
"Perhaps we can substitute a pair of our own and wear the sacred ones
out of here."
"I'm game."
"Then, suppose they were stolen five minutes ago?"
"I understand you," says Wakim and bows his head, as in adoration.
The service begins.
"Hail to Thee, Shoes," lisps the first priest, "wearer of feet…"
"Hail!" chant the other five.
"Good, kind, noble and blessed Shoes."
"Hail!"
"… which came to us from chaos…"
"Hail!"
"… to lighten our hearts and uplift our soles."
"Hail!"
"Oh Shoes, which have supported mankind since the dawn of
civilization…"
"Hail!"
"Ultimate cavities, surrounders of feet."
"Hail!"
"Hail! Wondrous, battered Buskins!"
"We adore thee."
"We adore thee!"
"We worship thee in the fulness of thy Shoeness!"
"Glory!"
"Oh archetypal footgear!"
"Glory!"
"Supreme notion of Shoes."
"Glory!"
"What could we do without thee?"
"What?"
"Stub our toes, scratch our heels, have our arches go flat."
"Hail!"
"Protect us, thy worshipers, good and blessed Foot-gear!"
"Which came to us from chaos…"
"… on a day dark and drear…"
"… out of the void, burning-"
"… but not burnt…"
"… Thou hast come to comfort and support us…"
"Hail!"
"… upright, forthright and forward forever!"
"Forever!"
Wakim vanishes.
A cold, wild wind begins.
It is the change-wind out of time; and there is a blurring upon the
altar.
Seven previously drug-maddened spearmen lie sprawled, their necks at
unusual angles.
Suddenly, beside Vramin, Wakim says, "Pray, find us a gateway
quickly!"
"You wear them?"
"I wear them."
Vramin raises his cane, pauses.
"There will be a brief delay, I fear," and his gaze grows emerald.
All eyes in the temple are suddenly upon them.
Forty-three drug-maddened spearmen shout a battle cry as one, and leap
forward.
Wakim crouches and extends his hands.
"Such is the kingdom of heaven," comments Vramin, perspiration like
absinthe glittering coldly upon his brow. "I wonder how the video tapes
will show this thing."
--
Doc Smartass
The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of
words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the
people who must use the words. - Philip K. *****
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| User: "Frank Mayhar" |
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| Title: Re: Humor--Python homage? |
27 Sep 2006 07:55:21 PM |
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On Thu, 28 Sep 2006 00:53:23 +0000, Doc Smartass wrote:
This is a bit from Roger Zelazny's "Creatures of Light and Darkness"; I
got to this part while on my lunch break. I wonder if Zelazny was a Monty
Python fan...
I don't recall offhand, but I suspect _C of L and D_ may have been written
before the Monty Python movie to which you refer. So maybe the other way
around?
--
Frank Mayhar frank@exit.com http://www.exit.com/
Exit Consulting http://www.gpsclock.com/
http://www.exit.com/blog/frank/
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| User: "Doc Smartass" |
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| Title: Re: Humor--Python homage? |
27 Sep 2006 09:38:44 PM |
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Frank Mayhar <frank@exit.com> wrote in
news:pan.2006.09.28.00.55.21.627273@exit.com:
On Thu, 28 Sep 2006 00:53:23 +0000, Doc Smartass wrote:
This is a bit from Roger Zelazny's "Creatures of Light and Darkness";
I got to this part while on my lunch break. I wonder if Zelazny was a
Monty Python fan...
I don't recall offhand, but I suspect _C of L and D_ may have been
written before the Monty Python movie to which you refer. So maybe
the other way around?
Hm... Fantastic Fiction shows a publication in 1969. Could be!
--
Doc Smartass
The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of
words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people
who must use the words. - Philip K. *****
.
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| User: "Christopher A. Lee" |
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| Title: Re: Humor--Python homage? |
27 Sep 2006 07:00:54 PM |
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On Wed, 27 Sep 2006 23:53:23 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekido@astroskivviesboymail.com> wrote:
This is a bit from Roger Zelazny's "Creatures of Light and Darkness"; I
got to this part while on my lunch break. I wonder if Zelazny was a Monty
Python fan...
From the same book:
"Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care
what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything
you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to
insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the
destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be,
be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to
insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as
your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be
yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your
receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this
thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony.
Amen."
.
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| User: "Doc Smartass" |
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| Title: Re: Humor--Python homage? |
27 Sep 2006 09:36:57 PM |
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Christopher A. Lee <calee@optonline.net> wrote in
news:c44mh292eb9alulm7tsmb0l2aio5vvp786@4ax.com:
On Wed, 27 Sep 2006 23:53:23 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekido@astroskivviesboymail.com> wrote:
This is a bit from Roger Zelazny's "Creatures of Light and Darkness";
I got to this part while on my lunch break. I wonder if Zelazny was a
Monty Python fan...
From the same book:
"Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care
what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything
you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to
insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the
destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be,
be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to
insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as
your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be
yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your
receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this
thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony.
Amen."
*nod* Just the right amount of groveling. Must be a christer!
This is the weirdest of his books that I've read so far, but DAMN he was
good at it.
--
Doc Smartass
The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of
words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the
people who must use the words. - Philip K. *****
.
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| User: "Gregory Gadow" |
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| Title: Re: Humor--Python homage? |
28 Sep 2006 08:33:52 AM |
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Doc Smartass wrote:
Christopher A. Lee <calee@optonline.net> wrote in
news:c44mh292eb9alulm7tsmb0l2aio5vvp786@4ax.com:
On Wed, 27 Sep 2006 23:53:23 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekido@astroskivviesboymail.com> wrote:
This is a bit from Roger Zelazny's "Creatures of Light and Darkness";
I got to this part while on my lunch break. I wonder if Zelazny was a
Monty Python fan...
From the same book:
"Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care
what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything
you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to
insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the
destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be,
be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to
insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as
your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be
yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your
receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this
thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony.
Amen."
*nod* Just the right amount of groveling. Must be a christer!
This is the weirdest of his books that I've read so far, but DAMN he was
good at it.
"Weirdest of his books"... that is a bit extreme, isn't it? I mean, given
his penchant for weirdness....
Out of that book, I particularly like The Agnostics' Prayer:
Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say,
I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or
failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if not forgiveness but
something else may be required to ensure any possible benefit for which you
may be eligible after the destruction of your body, I ask that this,
whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a
manner as to insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity
as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be
yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as
much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in
some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen.
(And if you want weird, have you read Lord of Light yet?)
--
Gregory Gadow
techbear@serv.net
Help defend marriage in Washington state!
http://www.wa-doma.org
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| User: "Doc Smartass" |
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| Title: Re: Humor--Python homage? |
28 Sep 2006 07:11:50 PM |
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Gregory Gadow <techbear@serv.net> wrote in
news:451BCF40.F0A5A35C@serv.net:
Doc Smartass wrote:
Christopher A. Lee <calee@optonline.net> wrote in
news:c44mh292eb9alulm7tsmb0l2aio5vvp786@4ax.com:
On Wed, 27 Sep 2006 23:53:23 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekido@astroskivviesboymail.com> wrote:
This is a bit from Roger Zelazny's "Creatures of Light and
Darkness"; I got to this part while on my lunch break. I wonder if
Zelazny was a Monty Python fan...
From the same book:
"Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care
what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything
you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required
to insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after
the destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be,
be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to
insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as
your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not
be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your
receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this
thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony.
Amen."
*nod* Just the right amount of groveling. Must be a christer!
This is the weirdest of his books that I've read so far, but DAMN he
was good at it.
"Weirdest of his books"... that is a bit extreme, isn't it? I mean,
given his penchant for weirdness....
Weirdest I've read so far (all 10 Amber books, Jack of Shadows, and some
other book, and this one)
Out of that book, I particularly like The Agnostics' Prayer:
Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what
I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may
have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if
not forgiveness but something else may be required to ensure any
possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction
of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or
withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your
receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected
intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but
which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as
it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some
way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen.
(And if you want weird, have you read Lord of Light yet?)
I can't remember if that was the "some other book" or not. I think I have
it...
--
Doc Smartass
The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of
words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the
people who must use the words. - Philip K. *****
.
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| User: "Ghod" |
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| Title: Re: Humor--Python homage? |
27 Sep 2006 11:34:05 PM |
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On Thu, 2006-09-28 at 02:36 +0000, Doc Smartass wrote:
Christopher A. Lee <calee@optonline.net> wrote in
news:c44mh292eb9alulm7tsmb0l2aio5vvp786@4ax.com:
On Wed, 27 Sep 2006 23:53:23 GMT, Doc Smartass
<gekido@astroskivviesboymail.com> wrote:
This is a bit from Roger Zelazny's "Creatures of Light and Darkness";
I got to this part while on my lunch break. I wonder if Zelazny was a
Monty Python fan...
From the same book:
"Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care
what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything
you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to
insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the
destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be,
be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to
insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as
your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be
yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your
receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this
thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony.
Amen."
*nod* Just the right amount of groveling. Must be a christer!
This is the weirdest of his books that I've read so far, but DAMN he was
good at it.
I know I'm seriously lacking in the sleep department, but I don't recall
these passages....I guess I'd better dig it out and read it again.
Damn. Just what I need, more to read (again).
.
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